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Round 2 #Colonoscopy #Notfun —And How’s Your Week?

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Warning: This post may offer a little TMI for the faint-hearted. But may be very informative for those who suffer with any type of bowel disorders and are curious to find out how other sufferers get through colonoscopies. I know I spent numerous hours googling every prep and review I could find.

 

It sure arrived quick enough; my second colonoscopy in three months. You can read the original post I wrote about Round 1 here. This time it was a redo because apparently the toxic potion I ingested in round one wasn’t potent enough for my bionic intestines. This time I was given, if you can believe, an even worse potion to take, complete with an assortment of laxatives to be taken pre-potion.

The delightful procedure of prepping was done yesterday (Tuesday) and it was just a part of the crappy week I’ve been having so far. (I’ll fill you in on the other crap later.)

So I tried my best to do everything I could to make this test go smoother than the last, and be better cleaned out by eating very light for a few days prior (which incidentally helps with the hunger one experiences on prep day from no food.) After taking the prescribed laxatives and experiencing nothing to write home about, I then began drinking the first of four litres of vile liquid around 2pm. In addition to the prescribed disgust, I also chugged an additional two litres of water throughout the day, hoping to push things along.

As a gal who eats holistically and doesn’t like to put additives, nitrates or fake sugars in her body, I felt as though I was ingesting poison into my empty stomach. My head was pounding and my stomach swelled to something which I imagined twenty months pregnant would look like, and felt like. Three hours went by and still no movement! Are you kidding me? I’ve read nothing but horror stories about people who stayed planted on the toilet for hours during this workout. Finally into the fourth hour I felt an urge, although not an urgent urge, it was an urge to go. Within a two hour span I went about five times. And although I didn’t feel nearly done, I was done.

I worried all night about not being ready for the scope the next morning, as I kept warm in my sweat suit, under a blanket with the air conditioning turned off in a blistering heatwave, where I left my husband stifling. That stuff goes through your veins and intestines like anti-freeze. I was panicking that once again, my scope wouldn’t be good because I couldn’t completely empty. I felt like crap all night, slept about five hours, then headed out early for the test.

I have to admit, the special clinic I go to for the procedure is pretty awesome. The nurses are fabulous, as they take your vitals, get your IV port ready for sedation, and make you comfortable in your hospital gown in your own private cubicle while resting on the gurney awaiting your turn. I was rolled into the small operating room where I got to chat with the doctor before they put me out cold, THE WAY I LIKE IT. I don’t want to see or feel anything. Dr. B. and me are almost like old chums now. Having recently been through that a few other times; while making jokes, I tried to make light of the situation.

I told her about my bathroom struggles and she couldn’t understand how that potent cocktail only sent me to the bathroom four or five times. I proceeded to tell her that because of my having Crohn’s disease, I’ve become an all or nothing girl — either I live in the bathroom, or a stick of dynamite can’t make me flinch. Again, she laughed. But on a serious note, I had to give her the bathroom report because she had to decide whether or not to scope me. I asked her nicely to please not reject me and make me go through this yet again.  FIND A WAY!!!! I asked her if she found that I wasn’t clear enough to see through, to just irrigate me, WHILE I’M OUT. Whatever it takes.

When I awoke back in my cubicle about forty-five minutes later, I really felt drugged; much more than the previous time. After a nurse unhooked my IV and assorted wires, I waited to have my chat with Dr. B. As I suspected, once again, I wasn’t  fully emptied but miraculously Dr. B. managed to make her way through for me. Okay, so yay, she didn’t find any more polyps, other than the three she removed on the previous visit. But I was sadly informed that I not only suffer from Crohn’s disease, I now also have it’s evil twin, Colitis.

I voiced my concern to Dr. B. about how hard it is on my body to go on this evil cleanse, and that I’m sort of in a Catch 22 where it’s very important I have this test, as evil as it is. It’s not easy going through prep for the average healthier person, and worse for someone like me who suffers with digestive orders. Too many people suffer from Crohn’s and Colitis in my family, and a few have already passed from colon cancer. I’m darn petrified and I’m not afraid to admit it.

So Dr. B. wants me back in September to discuss pathology results and to see what we can do about future colonoscopies, which she now wants me to have annually. I’m home now writing this with my stomach still sticking out, still under a blanket.

Okay, so that’s not my only shitty part of the week (pun intended). This has also come to my attention this week:

 

  • Remember I mentioned to you guys that I was audited back in June, and the havoc I went through getting it all sorted our for the accountant and government, which still cost me a pretty penny? Well, Monday (the day before prep day) I received another letter from the tax man. This time they want to do a three year audit on my husband! This of course entails, doing the work all over again. Once again, I’ll be digging and sorting receipts and my book publishing gets left on the back burner.
  • And if that wasn’t enough, today after coming home from my colonoscopy, I received more good news from my pals at Revenue Canada. They sent me a letter notifying me that my claims aren’t accepted and a (huge) bill will follow.

Now I don’t know about you guys, but my stress goes right to my intestines. Is it any wonder that one of the most potent laxatives known to man doesn’t have much effect on me? GO AWAY FULL MOON!

And how is your week going?

DGKaye ©2015

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

39 Comments

  • jorobinson176

    Not sure if this is a duplicate comment because the first one said it timed out. Just sending you a massive HUG lovely lady, and wishes that abolish all the bad things in the nether world, including the tax man. <3 X

  • marianbeaman

    I’ve had 2 audits and 1 colonoscopy to date. One comment about colonoscopy – as the preparation(s) took effect, I painted the back of my china closet a cool shade of blue, matching my mood.

  • Belinda Crane

    Are you ready? …. wait for it …… here is a huge hug from Down Under. Good people are always tested in life my friend. It will pass (pun intended because I want you to smile) Bee xxx

  • olganm

    A bad week indeed, but at least some good news on the polyp front. I hope taxes end up sorting themselves without much pain (you must have been too nice to them and they decided to come back…). Take care. 🙂

  • Cat

    That sounds a real bummer! I completely understand the horror of the prep, Debby. Surely in this age we should have an easier way to conduct these procedures. I know there’s a new type of test where you swallow a small capsule with a camera inside and it videos on its way through, but we still have that dreaded prep. I had the same procedure only recently. It took me 14hrs just to have a movement and even that was pretty poor, but I did experience the worst migraine ever, horrendous, I wretched constantly all through the night and was so glad when they finally knocked me out in hospital. Like you, I need one annually, so maybe next year we’ll be going through the ghastly regime at the same time.

    • dgkaye

      Wow Cat, that sounds like what I went through. There are certain types of preps I’ve learned that aren’t as effective as others, such as the citromag and pico silax. I used the former the first time and had even less results. 🙁

      • Cat

        I was wondering about these colonic irrigations or an enema. I’ve seen them done on telly and it seems quite simple and painless. I can’t do the prep again…lol… I refuse! I need to find another way short of starving myself for days 🙂

        • dgkaye

          Cat, I’m so with you! I just can’t even think about drinking that stuff again. Someone else brought colonics to my attention. I’ll tell you what, I have to go back in September for discussion with that doctor. I am going to bring up my concerns and see if there any alternatives. I will be sure to let you know what I find. 🙂

  • Sue Dreamwalker

    Awww Deb.. you don’t do things by halves do you?… Taking the Good news first.. No polyps and I guess you now have another name to your already irritable bowel conditions.. And why was I not surprised when I saw this on Louise Hays You can heal your life..

    “COLITIS: Over-exacting parents. Feeling of oppression & defeat. Great need fr affection
    Affirmation: I love & approve of myself. I create my own joy. I choose to be a winner in life.”

    Lots there I can see the reasons we get ill..

    Sorry to hear to about the Taxman.. I have to say I love mine.. as they refunded me when I took early retirement for overpaying.. 🙂
    Sending Lots of Love and Hugs your way and hope all soon sorts its self out for hubby and your own digestion system settles soon.. Love Sue xxx

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Sue for reminding to go back to my Hays book. No doubt there is a reason for every ailment. Yes, I believe this blue moon has certainly been testing me. It’s funny you should bring up Hays. You might be interested in reading my next post on the weekend. I’m reblogging a story I send in to my friend Sally’s blog; she is doing a series on women’s health. That story will perk your ears up. I’m not going to give you a spoiler right now, but remember what I’m going to tell you now after you read it. When that frightful and life-threatening event occurred, my spiritual sister-in-law phoned me up after I got the news, and told me she wanted me to know that she got ‘a message’ that I would live, and she also told me that the reason it happened to me was because of what I carried from my mother.
      Thanks for always encouraging! xo <3

  • elainemansfield

    You are getting socked. I’m so sorry, Debby. I’m also glad no polyps. Your poor little gut. My mom had colitis and it is no fun. Yes, Iyou must carry much pain in your body because of childhood trauma.

    Tax auditors are hassling me, too, but did they have to show up on an already impossible day for you? I claimed business expenses before I had book income. What writer doesn’t? I’ll win because this common writer’s issue has been upheld in many courts, but they make us spend valuable time convincing them. Unless we’re a movie star or Anne Lamott, we spend money on our books before receiving any royalty checks.

    May all of this be history soon. Time for you to get some good news. Thanks for being honest about what is…

    • dgkaye

      Hi again Elaine. Thanks for commenting. So, I see you must have read Sue’s comment about Louise Hays. Isn’t it just the truth? And you are exactly right about claiming business write offs before the income matches. It’s absolutely allowed here and my accountant set up my claims as such. Unfortunately there are people doing jobs who aren’t fully qualified. My claims came back unaccepted and when I called them, the agent I spoke to told me I’m within my legal rights to claim, so she told me to resubmit and she made notes on our conversation. Now I am holding my breath over the reevalution, and next week I begin digging out 3 year’s of receipts and photocopying them all for husband. My new book should have been out already, but who the heck can concentrate? I’m hoping to have it out in September; no more disasters! 🙂

  • thatgirlwiththedarkhair

    Long-time reader, first-time commenter. (I can’t comment from my mobile wordpress reader, for some reason.) Sounds like you’ve had quite a stressful week! I agree about all your stress going to your digestive system (my blog is about energy work). All that sounds really unpleasant; I hope you get everything cleared up and don’t have to do this again. Good luck!

  • Sherri

    Oh Debby, I only ‘liked’ this post because of the way you write so excellently, not because of what has happened to you. So so sorry for all the audit and tax hassles, I don’t know the full story but it sounds like a nightmare. I’ve gone through so many financial nightmares over the years/decades, that I can honestly say I feel for you. As for your posts about your colonoscopies (I read your first one then this), I can now relate as I had my first one at the end of June. I’ve suffered from IBS since I was 18 and my Irish grandmother died of colon cancer when she was in her late 50s so I pushed for the scope as I have read far too many horror stories of patients here (in the UK) who have gone to the doctor with ‘IBS’ only to find out later they have full blown colon cancer and by then it’s too late. They don’t start screening here (and that with the ‘poo’ test) until 60. So, I pushed, got my appointment with the specialist and things went from there. I absolutely detested the prep. It’s called ‘Moviprep’ here. I gagged everytime I tried to get the massive amounts of liquid down me, having not been allowed to eat since 9 in the morning until after the scope well over 24 hours later. I drank a huge gulp of water with every sip of the vile lemon-flavoured with a hint of metal liquid and had to hold my nose. As for the rest, well, we know what happens. I was sedated but was aware of everything, they don’t put you out here. I really hope that everything will be alright when you go back in September. Please know I’m thinking of you and sending you prayers and hugs and I do hope that things get better for you very soon <3

    • dgkaye

      Sherri, thank you so much for visiting, reading, and sharing your experience here. We all know it’s not a pretty subject. And even though I always try to inject some humour in posts like these, it is frightening. The whole experience is awful, but the consequences of not having it done can be fatal to many, like people like you and me. I shared this story and all the comments here so others can take from it, hopefully the importance of why we need to do this test. Here in the province of Ontario, Canada, they start screening at age 50, unless there are problems and perhaps colon cancer in the family, maybe earlier. But they have changed the guidelines also in the last year or so. The province doesn’t want to pay as often for screenings, so there is a scale set now. Colonoscopies used to be covered by the province, and they still are for certain categories only, now. Instead of every 5 years, it’s now 10 years, unless there is a noted problem, or one suffers from a bowel disease, then it’s paid for more frequently. Personally, I feel this is a terrible decision by the province, because it’s hard enough to get people to have these tests, and now by having to pay for it if not qualified, is an ever bigger deterrent, I feel. Whatever happens, we have to take charge of our bodies. We are our own best advocates. Thanks again Sherri. I’ll post an update in September. 🙂

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