About the “Words We Carry”

shattered words

Have you gauged you self-esteem level lately? Do you get lost in the mundane day to day activities without ever giving any thought to how much you value your self-worth? Do you ever think about ways you can better yourself in order to feel better about yourself?

 

 

 

In my younger life, I was incredibly insecure and I was my own worst critic, but I didn’t allow it to carry through my whole life. I got proactive and begun working on the things I once hated about myself and learned to appreciate and highlight all the positives I did possess.

For a memoir writer, most of our writing pertain to events and circumstances from our pasts. Many of our experiences are not always happy. For the lucky ones who have found a way to overcome the obstacles, hurts and injustices in situations, it is a major feat and accomplishment. It can sometimes become overwhelming with the amount of memories we unlock.

When I wrote my first book Conflicted Hearts, it was written as a memoir, depicting the events I encountered, beginning with my dysfunctional childhood, under rule of my narcissistic mother. I carried my story through the years because through everything I accomplished in life, the guilt she had instilled in me followed me even though she was sporadically in my life. Much of the way I grew up living in emotional instability, seemed to linger way past my childhood.

Banishing toxic people from our lives does not make us bad people. Although it’s easier said than done, especially when compassion and guilt remain at the forefront of our minds. I looked back on my life after writing Conflicted Hearts and began to search for the reasons why I had developed such a low self-esteem and consequently the habits and quirks I developed from it and with my own tenacity and determination, learned to overcome those feelings of inadequacy in the best ways I knew how. I remembered how much I was ignored, ridiculed, taken for granted and emotionally abused, and it spurred me to write my upcoming book “Words We Carry – Essays of Obsessions and Self-Esteem”.

In my newest book, I share my stories about the hurts I endured and how they affected my identity and the low self-esteem those feelings left me with. I talk about things such as obsessions I developed in order to compensate for my shortcomings, leading me to find a way to overcome those hurdles in efforts to become a better me.

I know there are plenty of women out in the world who aren’t happy with themselves. I want them to know they are not alone and that we all have the ability to overcome our low opinions of ourselves. Even the most confident women have their own demons they’ve overcome or found a way to hide.

We all have feelings of feeling inferior at points in our lives, and we are all very good at self-criticizing. In Words We Carry, I try to convey some of these issues and share the optimism about how I found ways to overcome my own demons. I hope to empower women through my experiences in our quest to love ourselves.

Words We Carry  will be out in late October, so if you’re looking for an inspiring read to help uplift your own self-esteem, you may want to pick up a copy.

I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it without the help of anyone else’s criticisms to assist in the deflation of my own ego.”

 

What do our shopping habits; high-heeled shoes and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect the choices we make when choosing relationships?

D.G. takes us on her journey of unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying the situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions about Chic-Lit for real demonstrates how hurtful events we encounter in our lives linger and set the tone for how we begin to value our own self-worth.

Words We Carry is a candid view and a raw, personal accounting of overcoming the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love oneself.

Note: The photo is not my book cover as that is still in the works. I will be showcasing the cover in the next week or so.

12 thoughts on “About the “Words We Carry”

  1. Your candor and vulnerability show on every line of this post. I’m sure that is one reason your books sell, motivating you to write/achieve more. Fortunately, you are writing out of victory, not victimhood. I suffered abuse in childhood which would have knocked all self-esteem out of me, but God saw fit to surround me with other family members who valued me and later with a husband that says kind words daily. Yes, I am blessed, but I still have to click the STOP button when the tape in my mind replays the negative.

    Best wishes on your October book launch, Debby.

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    1. Wow Marian! Thanks so much for your kind words and most of all for sharing some of yourself. I feel that by writing my truth and helping to show how I seeked to overcome bad situations that others, particularly women, can identify, relate and perhaps find something helpful for themselves in my writing. And yes, old habits do die hard. It is almost impossible, no matter how far we come, to be able to dismiss the engraved hurts of the past. It’s putting our best foot forward, surrounding ourselves with positive, loving people and learning to walk away from toxicity that pulls us through.
      Thank you. ❤

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  2. Go, Debby. An important topic for most women I know. Your productivity amazes me and makes me wonder, “What will my next book be?” I’m so busy with one book that I haven’t had time to figure out the next, but you inspire me to get thinking.

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    1. Thanks for your ongoing support Elaine. If we take our stories from life, think about the amount of living we have done and surely we can depict incidents of experience that have value to readers. You my friend, don’t strike me as one who has any loss for words. 🙂

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  3. This is such an important topic, Debby. I like how you link self-esteem and our identity to our pasts, but mostly I love the determination of overcoming these shortcomings. It’s one thing to identify the hurtful events of our past but then what we do with them is the true healing. A book for all ages and especially one to help all women (and men, I suppose) learn to love themselves. I look forward to reading it. 🙂
    The title is wonderful!

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    1. Thanks so much Carol for your always cheering me on, and yes the intent of the book is exploit my own hang-ups and demonstrate how I chose to overcome. Hopefully it will inspire many to find a way to deal with their insecurities as well. 🙂 I will be showcasing my new book cover in the next week. I’m sure the theme of it may trigger a similarity to yours, but the cover is completely different. 🙂 Happy weekend to you my friend!

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      1. I have no doubt that your book will be inspirational, just as you are. I’m anxious to see your cover. Enjoy your weekend, Debby…I hope the weather in Toronto is as wonderful as it’s here. 🙂

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  4. HL = huge like for this post, Madame Kaye! ❤ I have recognized myself almost all over…
    * * *
    Hello from Malta and thanx for your kind comments @ my crossroads… btw, you could spend the Canadian long winter here, much cheaper than Arizona and everybody speaks English, ex-UK colony "oblige"… 😉 my very best, lots of inspiration and Maltese hugs, Mélanie – P.S. this is Gozo island, 20' away(by ferryboat) from Malta: 🙂

    http://myvirtualplayground.wordpress.com/2014/09/25/gozo-calypsos-island-of-joy/

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  5. Great post… I sometimes feel that the words we carry speak out loud… When I am disappointed on someone I can’t stop remembering the words that hurt me coming from that person. It is an exhausting quite bad moment when this happens.
    Love, D.G… All the best to you with your new book. Aquileana 🙂

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    1. Thanks again Aq. It is true for everyone, emotional pain stays with us much longer than the physical. Everyone deals with it differently. I chose to meet it head on and find a way to deal with it. By sharing with others, I hope they can take something from the book and discover ways to empower themselves. 🙂

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