15 Things Every Woman Should do By 40. | elephant journal


This article caught my attention on the site Elephant Journal. It was written by Margaret Aguirre as she shared her thoughts on things every woman should do by the time they’re 40.


It’s a lovely read and I personally feel that the list pertains to us all, even beyond the age of 40. Have a look by clicking the link below.

The quoted paragraph below is one of my favourites on the list that I happen to be a firm believer of. If anyone has read my book Words We Carry, you will know I write about conquering low self-esteem, as told through my own experiences. We don’t have to throw in the towel on looking and feeling good. There is an appropriate attire for any age for us all to feel beautiful. Looking beautiful shouldn’t have to mean we’re trying to look twenty years younger, but making the most of our attributes we’ve earned through the years.

Be glamorous.

Just because we aren’t 23 anymore doesn’t mean we aren’t beautiful, vivacious and amazing. Glamor changes slightly as we get older. We don’t need to wear the tight spandex mini dress to go out dancing. A sleek, elegant LBD is far sexier and mysterious. With the right amount of makeup and attitude, we can all be glamorous.”


15 Things Every Woman Should do By 40. | elephant journal.

D.G. Kaye speaks! #Womens #Empowering #Summit Live!

Author Photo Professional

A few weeks ago I wrote a post here promoting The Womens Empowering Summit. This summit is hosted by divorce coach Heather Debreceni. In the summit, Heather interviewed 23 certified experts who spoke about the topic of women going through divorce and how to handle the children who tend to get caught in the crossfire. I was ecstatic when Heather chose me, an author, to add to her esteemed panel of interviewees.


Heather found me while doing a search on the subject and she came across my book Conflicted Hearts, my memoir on growing up in an emotionally unstable home and living with guilt from a narcissistic mother.

You can listen to the live interview by pressing the play button here:


In our interview I discuss the turmoil a child can have to endure while growing up in a broken home when parents tend to get so wrapped up in their own conflicts and forget to tend to their children’s emotional needs.

Please feel free to listen to the interview and come back here and comment, or perhaps leave me a question. This is my first public interview, and I have to admit, I still have my stage fright even though I wasn’t on camera. It was a great experience, both emotionally fulfilling, and a step into speaking publicly.


D.G.Kaye ©May 2015 dgkayewriter.com

10 Things Money Can’t Buy


A good reminder for all, there are many things in life that money cannot buy.

I remember my father used to make up little sayings, and one of them was “Rich or poor, it’s good to have money.” Now it sounds almost like an oxymoron to me, but there is still much truth to it.

I find that as I get older, the importance of money is for healthcare and security. And if I had an abundance of it, all I would do with it is travel.

I found a good list of 10 things money can’t buy at The Power of Positivity

10 Things Money Can’t Buy.

WordPress Blogger Family Award

wordpress-family-award1 I’d like to thank Ellie of Newcreationsministries for including me in her chosen family of bloggers and nominating me for this lovely award.

I connected with Ellie a few months ago on wordpress when I came across her enlightening posts on how the body, mind and spirit connects with health.

Ellie is an author, nutritional counselor, and blogger about nutrition and life lessons. She is a beautiful soul and you will find her face around the blogosphere sporting her beautiful cowboy hat. Ironically Ellie is from Arizona (my passion), and has recently moved to Ohio with her Pastor husband whose work beckoned him there. Trading in the beautiful desert for a more diverse climate, I questioned her about how she could do that. If you want to read more about Ellie, check out her About Me page.

Now you all know how I feel about sharing awards, I always want to share them with everyone here in my blogging world, and you are all welcome to snatch a copy of this award off my page and put it up on yours to share with others. But as the rules state, I am to mention a few bloggers who I have a close knit bond with in this writing world, so I will mention them now.

1. www.whenwomeninspire.com

2. www.deborahjayauthor.com

3. www.bowmanauthor.com

4. www.elainemansfield.com

5. www.plainandfancy.wordpress.com

6. www.dianereedwiter.wordpress.com

7. www.talesfromthefamilycrypt.wordpress.com

8. www.letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

9. www.smorgasbordinvitation.com

10. www.mycurrentnewsblog.com

11. www.onceuponyourprime.com

12. www.adamhenig.com

13. www.suedreamwalker.wordpress.com

14. www.janecarrollauthor.com

15. www.perceptionofannie.wordpress.com

Simple rules for the Award:

1. Copy and display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Nominate 10-15 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience.

4. Let your “fellow blogging family members” know you have awarded them.

5. Just please pick 10-15 people that have taken you as a friend, and spread the love.

#Digital Woes for #Seniors

Digital distress

We all know how much the world has changed over the decades, but as many seniors have discovered, the digital era isn’t always so compatible with their abilities.


Life has certainly become a lot more complicated when it comes to digitally enhanced products and services for those beyond the boomer’s age. Simple correspondence is now done through emails and scanning documents and receipts, and then there’s the automated everything from bank machines, calling a place of business, to the every day transactions done in a store with charge or debit cards. I had to learn along with the masses how to do all these things, and it was a learning curve for me in the beginning. But what about all the seniors out there who are overwhelmed by all the changes that they didn’t adapt to along the way of the technology advancements? I can’t speak for everyone, but I know from my own husband’s inexperience with most things digital that if I weren’t around to do many things for him, he would be lost. And he has no qualms about admitting that himself. He is computer illiterate, and not at all interested in beginning to learn about it now. I can’t help but wonder where that leaves many people incapacitated by technological developments.

Let’s take the act of traveling for instance. Many of us realize that the joy of traveling is a thing of the past. It’s now become a tedious process we must adhere to before we even begin to board an airplane. Even I, who consider myself pretty well-versed in computerese, still get flustered over all the technological components of boarding a plane. No doubt it’s overwhelming for seniors.


We used to check-in, drop our bags, zip through security, and await our plane. Now we first have to enter our passports into a kiosk machine and hit a bunch of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ buttons to get a digital boarding pass just to check-in. Next, if we’re traveling to the U.S., we have to take our luggage with us to go through customs, but not without first having to place our passports in yet another kiosk machine to security check and verify who we are. Then we get to proceed to a customs agent so that we can verify the same information all over again that we just fed a machine. We then get to drop our bags off and prepare for airport security check. There we empty our pockets, take off our shoes and jewelry, sweaters and hats, pull apart laptops, present our miniature liquids and gels, and then to top it off, we get a dose of radiation and get to bare our naked bodies to an x-ray machine for anyone behind those cameras to peruse. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until we will be standing in our underwear for all the other passengers to view too. Now, this is a lot of preparation for a trip, and for those who aren’t computer savvy, it’s a very intimidating process.

This past month, I have taken on a new responsibility for my husband; and shall I say for the Toronto Blue Jays. We are season ticket holders. Every year in the past, we were sent a package with tickets for all the games. This year, they decided that tickets would no longer be sent out, but rather we would have a digital account with all of our tickets listed in them. All the games were also on a card they sent to be scanned at the gates with a bar code so we could enter.


The account gives us the ability to also print off tickets, email them to people we choose to give, sell off, or donate to. There are 81 games, which equals 162 seats that I had to manage. I had to take a little tutorial course on all the procedures, and let me say how daunting it was. I was flabbergasted by the work involved to distribute these tickets. Sure it’s convenient for the association to fluff off the work onto us and avoid it themselves, along with printing and postage costs. But I can’t help but wonder, aren’t we paying enough already?

It was a tedious and very time-consuming process, and naturally I encountered a few glitches along the way. I called my ticket agent when it got too confusing, and left him a message. He usually responds within an hour, but he returned my call two days later. He apologized for the delay because he was inundated with calls for help. “NO KIDDING!” I responded. I told him I could only imagine how flustered and lost the many seniors were that now had to deal with this procedure. He concurred. Once again, my husband thanked me for doing all that work for him and he added, “If I didn’t have you, I’d have cancelled the damn tickets.” It left me wondering about just how many did cancel their subscription.

My husband has been a car salesman for almost 53 years. He’s old school, well respected and well known in the industry for his sales and service. He retired a few years ago after being with one dealership for 48 years. After a few months, he realized he missed working, so he went back to work for a friend who manages another dealership. He’s always been a top salesman and still provides service to his customers; long after the car is driven off the lot. He has repeat clients that have come to him, some with three generations from a family. I’m pretty sure that my husband is one of the only guys in the industry without a computer on his desk.


He still uses pen and paper to juggle numbers, and he can tell you about any particular car he sold to someone from a half a century ago. He remembers their names, the color and make of the car, and sometimes how many kilometres were registered on it. Many dealerships tried to get him over to theirs through the years, and his lack of computer skills has always been overlooked because of his great salesmanship. He does the selling, and management enters what needs be into the computer for him after. This system has been working for him, although he realizes he is missing opportunities to sell more by not being able to use the computer to search information for himself. The dealership has also implemented a system where cold calls and leads that come in are shared amongst salesman by an alert system, either by text or email. Sadly, he is missing out on these extra leads because of his computer handicap. His sales haven’t lagged, but he notices that some of the weaker salesmen are selling more now, and that bothers him because he knows he’s missing out, and he’s all about being top salesman.

As some of you know, my husband is just over two decades older than me. And rightly so, at age 77, he’s certainly entitled to retire. He says the computer world is hindering his abilities to keep up, and perhaps this may be his last year of working before we set out for his dream of becoming a snowbird next year in Arizona.

Do any of you have someone close to you who is feeling the clamps of technology coming down on them?

Book Review — Getting To Mr. Right

book reviews

Carol Balawyder is a versatile genre writer. She writes in memoir, women’s fiction, and crime mysteries. Carol likes to blog about life: justice, mid-life dating, grief, as well, she shares some great introductions to other writers and workshops.

Today I am sharing my review of Carol’s latest book, Getting To Mr. Right. I love reading Carol’s books because of the messages she leaves in her writing of strength and empowerment. Her flair for detail in her writing, and for developing her characters and storylines, invites the readers in to indulge in her captivating stories.




Five Stars

Does Prince Charming really exist?

A great women’s fiction read but really not far from the reality of many women entering mid-life. Do the relationships daughters have with their fathers lead to their choices in, or their beliefs about the men they later form relationships with? It would seem that this group of women all carry some sort of baggage from their past relationships as so many of us do in real life.

Campbell’s questioning of the existence of Prince Charming being a myth is the topic for the little women’s group formed by the four women in the book. Missi has been duped by a philandering husband, Suzy exhausted with unsuccessful online dating, and Felicity is ruled by her father’s dominance and the initial abandoning of her real dreams for the sake of keeping her father happy. Campbell herself, feels as though there is no such thing as Prince Charming until she is faced with the potential of one which makes her question her initial belief, why she formed the group in the first place, and if her belief could be altered. As the women forge friendships amongst themselves, we learn about some of the damage in their pasts, which has hindered their happiness in seeking relationships from having trust issues and low expectations. Throughout this well told story, these women begin to learn from one another and help restore one another’s esteem and beliefs that there really can be happy endings.


D.G. Kaye ©2015

Are You Really Following my #Blog? – WordPress vs. Self Hosting


I thought I’d give a shout out here to my wonderful reader and blogger friends about following this blog.


As we all know, it’s an honour to have people come visit and read our words on our pages. We all know it takes time to build a readership and a following.

I am blessed to have you all spend your valuable time reading my posts, and I’d like to keep it that way by clearing up some confusion about following my blog.

It’s come to my attention in these past few months, that gratefully, I’ve accumulated several more followers. The strange part about this is that they aren’t signing up (right side bar) to ‘follow this blog’. They are somehow still finding my old page ‘Cubby’s Corner’ on WordPress and being redirected to this new self hosted blog of mine.

I have tried several times to rectify this issue with WordPress so that they would close off that page on wordpress.com, which will eventually stop the redirect to here. When they finally stop redirecting my readers here (and they will), unless followers have signed up to receive my posts, or have to type in the link www.dgkayewriter.com, to specifically get here, they won’t be fed my posts through WordPress reader any longer. It will seem as though I’ve vanished, BUT I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

If you enjoy my blog and wish to keep up with my posts, please join my blog on the right hand sidebar here, so you won’t miss any posts. I usually post only twice a week, unless I have an announcement, and the posts come through Mailchimp every Tuesday morning to your inbox. Don’t forget, you are always free to unsubscribe at any time.

menowhat thumbnail 100x150_72dpi


P.S. My book Menowhat? A Memoir is on #FREE promo at Amazon Today, Thursday May 14 to 19th. Help yourself to a download here www.smarturl.it/bookMenowhatAMemoir and don’t forget to leave me a review! 🙂

On #The Writing Process



I was recently invited to create a post on the craft of writing for The Ladders, an online company which networks with potential jobseekers.As a comprehensive career resource, they take pride in being able to assist any demographic with their job search no matter the field.

As we all know, every writer has his/her own methods of writing which they are most familiar and comfortable with, but the elements involved for good writing, remain a standard.


Writing styles differ amongst all writers. The reasons we write can be for personal or business. Some write blogs, some are freelance writers, and others are published authors. Regardless of our preferences, we have to develop good content and a voice. But how do we get to that point?

We get there by dedicating ourselves to the craft. If we intend to share and showcase our work, we should be writing daily to hone our craft.

I seem to be the type of writer who writes on her blog, and is working on two books at one time. When I’m working in revisions I like to do creative writing exercises. My favorite book to use for writing prompts is Old Friend From Far Away, by Natalie Goldberg. Writing exercises are particularly good for breaking writer’s block. By committing to our writing, we should set goals either by setting daily word counts or by time allotment.

It should go without saying that to be good writers, we should be avid readers. Reading also gives us a sense of the writer’s voice. As good writers, we eventually find our own voice — how our words are projected on paper to the reader’s eyes and ears. Why do we gravitate to our favorite authors? Because we enjoy their writing style, the manner in which they tell their stories. If we wrote books and changed the style of narration in each one of them, people aren’t likely to gain a familiar feel for the author’s work collectively.

To simplify this, if each book written by a particular author in same genre read as though it were being told by someone other than that author, the reader may enjoy one of their books but may not go past reading another if they find that the reason they followed that author’s writing keeps changing with every book. Exception would be if the author wrote in more than one genre. But many authors tend to write in one genre.

Blogging is a wonderful avenue for writers because it helps to establish our presence in the writing world, and to connect with other writers and readers. We have so much to learn from other writers whether from reading their work, following links from their posts, or by getting introduced to new writers. There is so much ongoing information about the writing world we can obtain from others.

Many people who wish to blog sometimes wonder what they should blog about. But the universe is our oyster when it comes to topics. We can start our writing about random things until we actually find our niche. Eventually, after becoming a faithful blogger who posts regularly, we will find our own topics of interest through our own writing and we will notice by our growing followers who our writing becomes geared towards. This is how we begin to find our audience.

Some of the best advice we hear from seasoned writers is “Write what you know.” If we want to become a good writer, we have to write about things that interest us, and have value in sharing. Write about the things we ourselves like to read. Eventually, we acquire like-minded readers to our blogs and our books. Be authentic. Engage in our reader’s questions and comments, for without their eyes on our work, who would we be writing for? But remember, we will never be able to please everyone, not all writing appeals to everyone. And that’s okay, the people who share our interest will slowly become our tribe of readers.

I’ve had many discussions with other writers comparing our writing preferences. Some like to write in longhand, and some prefer creating at the keyboard. It doesn’t matter, either way we prefer, as long as we write.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? Some are a little of both, like myself. Although I’m mostly a pantser, I still use my own structured system. I outline my story’s theme, chapters, and points I want to cover when writing a book or an article. I then let the story begin to flow from my pen. Yes, I said pen. I prefer writing longhand. I find my pen follows my thoughts very quickly, whereas, if I click a wrong key on the board, it hinders my train of thought because I can’t stop myself from correcting. And a good writer should never go back and stop to edit until the first draft is complete. Remember the words of Hemingway, ” The first draft is shit.” Besides that, I don’t feel creative in front of the computer. Spiral notepads and ballpoint pens are my tools of the trade.

While I’m on the subject of revisions, I’d like to defend my thoughts about writing in longhand. In some discussions about my preference, I’ve been asked, “Isn’t that twice the work to have to write on paper and then have to enter the work into the computer?” I actually find this process very helpful. It becomes a part of first round revisions. By entering my draft into the computer, it automatically goes through the first round as I’m entering. It gives me a chance to reread my thoughts as I am translating them and fixing up an initially crappy draft. It really is a matter of preference and a matter of comfort which manner we choose to write in.

When revising, it’s always good practice to print out a copy and read our work on paper, after a few prior rounds, and particularly for the last round of revisions. It’s surprising to find errors missed when reading on the screen. The human eye tends to miss common errors on the computer screen. The more polished our work is before it goes to the editor, the less it will cost.

In summation, I’d like to include some helpful tips for writing:

– Journaling will give us a lot of thoughts to look back on and write about.

– Blogging is also great writing exercise, and gives us a chance to find our captive


– Write something everyday.

– Work on developing your voice.

– Don’t stop and revise along the way of creating.

–  Join writing groups and/or online writing forums.

– Subscribe to newsletters and publications of influencers in the industry.

– Become a part of social media to establish a presence, by connecting with other

writers, groups, and readers.

Keep feeding your passion for writing. There is always something new to learn.

Happy Writing!


D.G. Kaye. ©2015 http://www.dgkayewriter.com