My book! My poor book is in a sorry state of a compilation of pages of handwritten stories with assorted temporary chapter headings labeled by slapped on post-it-notes.
I’ve been writing this book for the past year, and by far, it’s been the most challenging of all my books to write. With all that life has been dishing out to me in the past year, my 2 months away this winter, and health issues upon my return, I feel my book calling out to me, yet I have other pressing issues to contend with until I can go back and give it the attention it so desperately needs.
I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with reading blogs, and putting out blogs on events of my life, writing tips and reviews for some great books I’ve read, but I’ve neglected to talk about the subject of my next book.
Lately I tend to forget I’m a writer, but merely a person on auto pilot just doing the daily grind and the minimal appearances on my own blog and social media to try and keep things together until I can focus full time on my writing again.
I’m writing a sequel to my memoir, Conflicted Hearts. This is a book I knew I’d be writing one day, after my mother passed away. I left Conflicted Hearts open for much that wasn’t said because I felt held back about going deeper into issues in fear about my mother reading it. It took a lot of guts on my part to publish a book about my life ruled by a narcissistic mother who was still living.
I remember having the book ready to publish and sitting on it for a good month of worry about publishing it. If it weren’t for the urging of my siblings to get it out, I may not have summoned the courage to do so.
I knew I also had to experience my innermost feelings I’d go through after my mother’s passing to be able to write my truth, and assess and analyze what made my mother behave as she did. I wanted to interview family members, find an understanding, not only to share my story, but hopefully to help make sense of things for others who have lived with a narcissist parent.
I don’t write to condemn, nor avenge, but merely to find an understanding.
There are plenty of books and websites that deal specifically with narcissists, and because I read so much about it, I never felt compelled to talk about it more on my blog. Oh sure, I’ve been thinking about running some articles about narcissistic mothers, and being that I’m a victim of one of those mothers and write books about, I probably should be writing more about it here. But what spurred this thought in me was an article I came across on Emma’s Blog, Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.
Origin of article content by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Expert on the Narcissistic Personality
Before I began reading the post, I found the images posted before the article on that blog captivating, particularly the last one which reminded me that many narcissistic parents become parents for their own self-serving reasons. If you read Conflicted Hearts, you’ll find that my mother had fully intended to get pregnant out of wedlock in order to snag my father into marrying her. And so I was born.
When I read the post, it hit home with me word for word. I had lived it all; every single trait related in that post, I had lived, except for just one: my mother didn’t demean me by calling me ugly or stupid – I attribute that to the fact that she never had the time of day for me, so name calling was insignificant.
There were plenty of significant points in the post I nodded my head in agreement with as I took in every word. Some that resonated with me significantly were:
- They pit one child against the other.
- When we are little we must do what we have to for survival purposes.
- One of the reasons for the narcissistic
mother’s horrendous cruelties besides her own self hatred is that she is
exceedingly jealous of her daughter.
- And then there are daughters that do it all on their own.
They leave home, find a job, work hard, find ways to educate themselves
and become independent.
Below, you will read an intro to that post. Please click on ‘continue reading’ for the rest of the article.
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers–You Are Not Alone
“When you are the daughter of a narcissistic mother you feel like you
are screaming underwater and drowning at the same time.
Many daughters don’t realize for years the truth about this woman who projects hatred on to you daily. If you are scapegoated among the siblings, your childhood is exceedingly harsh. You are at the mercy of a sadistic, cold
mother. On the outside there are acquaintances and friends of hers that
think she is the best human being on the face of the earth. She is so
devoted to her children despite her outside career. She works constantly
on this external image to make sure that everyone knows how wonderful
she is. . .” Continue Reading
Source: Narcissistic Mothers – Emmagc75’s Blog Original content from Linda Martinez-Lewi PH.D http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/you-scream-narcissist-accuses-you-of-losing-control/
Are you a victim of a narcissistic parent?
I’d like to wish everyone who celebrates it, a Happy Easter. Today I choose to reblog a wonderful Easter basket full of blog treats from the talented Sally Cronin over at Smorgasbord Invitation.
I have to say that I’m truly honoured to be featured as one of Sally’s ‘Jolly Good Eggs’, but please do click on some of the other blogger links Sally has added to her basket and you will find some wonderful writers you may want to add to your follow list.
“It is Easter and no doubt there will be chocolate! Oh yes!. I am not fully present here on the blog at the moment as I am busy filling boxes with items I cannot part with and charity bags with things I hope will bring others pleasure.
However, there are somethings I cannot part with and with the power of the Internet, I can thankfully take with me wherever I go. This bunch of ‘Jolly Good Eggs’ as they used to say back in the flapper days of the 20s…. are coming with me and if you are not already following their blogs or on social media then there is no time like the present.
There are so many supportive and talented bloggers that are part of the community and I simply could not find an egg to fit everyone in so this is a very small selection.
Just click on the person’s name and it should take you right to their latest blog post or website. Enjoy the Easter Egg Hunt and you will be delighted when you find such creative and colourful treasures.”
D. G. Kaye – Debby Gies
Chris Graham The Story Reading Ape Sue Vincent
Olga Nunez Miret Janice Spina Ali Isaac Judith Barrow
Kim Gosselin Susan M Toy Sarah Vernon – First Night Design Hugh Roberts
Judy Martin David Prosser Teagan Geneviene Christoph Fischer Jo Robinson
Angie Quantrell John Howell Gigi Sedlmayer Annette Rochelle Aben
Charles Yallowitz Diana Wallace Peach Nicholas Rossis
William Price King Michelle Clements James Mary Smith
Tess Karlinski Deanie Humphreys Dunne
Cindy Knoke Vera Komnig
Source: Smorgasbord Easter Egg Hunt – Bloggers who are ‘Jolly good eggs’ | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life
Every once in awhile I come across a post that really touches home with me as a writer.
This article was written by the author in response to the aforementioned remark she’d overheard while visiting a book store.
“I was in Barnes & Noble this weekend perusing through books and the three of you were there, in the middle of the aisle, talking to each other.
First off… if you’re going to stand and talk… please do so in a place that doesn’t block half the books in the aisle. If you ARE going to stand and talk in the aisle, don’t get pissed off at me when I say “excuse me” so I can look at the possible book I might buy next.
The three of you were very pretty high school aged girls with far too much make-up on, fake nails, and clothes far too skimpy for the cold weather we’re having. You’re growing up too fast and that bothers me with the younger generations these days, but I digress.
As I stood absorbing all of the magic around me, I could not help overhearing the very loud conversation you were having.
“Writers are so lazy!” one of you said with clear distaste in your voice. “They just sit around all day and do nothing, but sit on a computer.”
It took everything–and I mean EVERYTHING–in me not to turn around and chew the three of you out right there as all of you agreed on the concept. So let me say it here…” Continue reading her wonderful reply here.
Source: Writers are not lazy | A.S. Winchester
I came across this interesting article from Savvy Bookwriters about the importance of building an author platform. I subscribe to their blog posts and newsletter, as they are always full of great information for writers on the topic of self publishing.
Below is a snippet of the article on building an author platform. It’s a quiz for you to take with a checklist of important things to do to give your author platform visibility.
“Are You Ready to Answer these Questions?
… and add up your “YES” answers at the end of this little test. Don’t worry, no one is seeing your answers, and how favourable you compare. The test needs to be split in two parts as there are so many test questions. Today’s questions are regarding your author platform, and the next one will be about the publishing process and your sales efforts. I think it’s a great way to see what you have already achieved – and where there is room for improvement. Ready? Here it goes: . . .” CONTINUE
Source: Test Yourself – How Professional are You Publishing? Part 1 | Savvy Book Writers
Often in life we get so inundated with our ‘to do’ list and with problems that creep up which can sometimes steal our joy.
Sometimes we need a subtle reminder to dance with life and remember to breathe and laugh. So when I came across Sue Vincent’s post I wanted to share it here.
“I came across the Nietzsche quote on Sirena’s Tales, remembering that I first read it years ago in his Zarathrusta, a book much in fashion in my youth. I was struck even then, armed with too few years and too little experience of life to really understand the book, by the way the man encapsulated snippets of wisdom in what would today be classed as soundbites.”
“The quote here is incomplete… and the second part puts it into greater context for me:
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” . . .Continue Reading
Source: Have you danced today? | Daily Echo
Note: I will be taking a break for the remainder of the week, so please enjoy your week and know that I’ll be doing my best to catch up when I can.
After returning from our winter vacation, it’s been one thing after another, and being sick takes priority. I’m still on the mend, but unfortunately, I’ve had to take my husband to hospital this past weekend due to his inability to recover fully and some new issues that crept up due to his low resistance. I must focus on my husband’s healing and bringing him back home again, hopefully by midweek.
And thank you all for your well wishes from my post about the Arizona Flu. ❤