#ExcerptWeek – MenoWhat? by D. G. Kaye | The Write Stuff

Marcia of Marcia Meara Writes is a generous blogger, not to mention a fantastic writer/author, who promotes the works of other authors on her blog. Incidentally, Marcia has just released the third book in her Wake-Robin Ridge series. Please visit her books HERE


Today I was invited to share an excerpt from my book, MenowWhat? A Memoir.

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Excerpt –MenoWhat? A Memoir by D.G. Kaye

Until we actually live through something, it’s difficult to imagine what the experience is like. When I was young but nearing menopause, I became interested in how the physiques of menopausal women began to change. Women come in all shapes and sizes, but I noticed that even the waistlines of smaller women weren’t as proportionately small as their slight frames suggested. I was certain the dreaded middle-age spread would not apply to me, and I referred to it as circumference expansion.

As we approach the early stages of menopause, estrogen begins to cozy up to our midriffs. Then, when we reach menopause, our depleted estrogen is replaced by cortisol-induced fat cells. Cortisol compensates for estrogen loss and loves to store fat cells around the belly. Thanks again, estrogen, for abandoning us and leaving us with an unfair trade-off of fat as your substitute! This is certainly a cruel punishment for those of us who worked so diligently to stay on top of our weight issues.

As a woman who had spent most of her young life on diets and lived fearfully by the scale, I was sure this phase would spare me. I thought it was simple: If we let ourselves get out of control and eat too much, of course we’ll gain weight. I believed that if I was disciplined in my diet and exercise regime, I wouldn’t have a problem with my waistline expanding.

Wrong again… Continue Reading 

Source: #ExcerptWeek – MenoWhat? by D. J. Kaye | The Write Stuff

18 thoughts on “#ExcerptWeek – MenoWhat? by D. G. Kaye | The Write Stuff

  1. OMG… what a snippet Debby. I realize I’m hijacking your post with a long comment, so feel free to delete it. Your words were valuable to me, and I hope mine might be valuable to someone else.
    Yep — a few doctors (from things I’ve read) are finally beginning to admit that not all weight gain is from eating or lack of exercise… If they had been willing to admit that 20 years ago, think of all the anorexia victims who would have been spared. All the depression and shattered self esteem that could have been saved.
    For nearly 30 years I tried and tried to lose just 5 pounds (even though it kept increasing to much more than 5).
    Granted “Psycho-Ex” had a lot to do with my thinking, even after I escaped him and my family… But in my early 40s I was unemployed and the weight thinking became worse than ever. I resented every bite of food I had to eat, because I gradually gained more weight every year. And i DID exercise. People made the most stupid assumptions.
    I used the scales obsessively. I hated everything about my body. Finally I felt I’d never get a job, and life there was no hope.

    Not long after I had that horrid thought, I realized something I had been saying for years. “I’ll never be able to lose weight until I feel truly safe.” And I mean “safe” in an encompassing way — actual physical safety, but financial safety, and old age safety and security as well.
    Well… I’m still looking to feel safe, and I’m fatter than ever. (And I really do mean fat. I admit it.)
    However, when the fullness of what I had been saying (My body will never let me lose weight until I feel safe) came back to me, I suddenly realized a personal truth. I had to work on the inside and forget about the outside. That was my only path to any sort of happiness.

    When my scale was broken during a move, I never replaced it. I don’t want to get caught in that numbers game again.
    I often think of a joke Rosie O’Donnell told (I was never a big fan, but I loved this). She was on vacation in Mexico with a beautiful super model friend. Suddenly she realized that the men there were ogling her, not her gorgeous friend. After a particularly creative cat-call she asked the guy why. He said “Oooh senorita… the bone’s for the dog. The meat’s for the man!”
    Mega hugs


    1. Lol, I love the Rosie share, and so true! And why on earth would I delete this? Thank you for bearing your truth here Teagan, and sharing what so many women go through. That’s why I wrote the book, it’s my truth from my journey, and even with adding some humor (it’s always easier to laugh later), it’s a truth that so many women can relate to, and for those who haven’t had the ride, can expect. It’s all about how we choose to deal with it. Me, I was obsessed to death about gaining weight undeservedly without pigging out, and with exercise, after spending my whole life being on a diet. So I made it my business to learn why this weight shifts and happens and tackled it with a new approach. And still, I had to accept the fact that my body will never look the same as it did before my forties. It’s a hard truth for many women, but we need to focus on finding a happy place within ourselves, and realize our whole life shouldn’t evolve around the scale. Kudos for getting rid of the scale! I admit, I’m still obsessed, and no matter how little I eat, I know that scale will never go back to the 10 pounds lighter it used to be, so I work around my insecurities. That’s what I share in the book. And thank you Teagan for sharing your honesty too. ((hugs)) xoxo


  2. I wish I had a dab more estrogen to help me sleep nights. About the scale: I was told moving helps you lose weight and it’s happening to me NOW. Just a temporary nose-dive, though, so I expect to pack on the pounds again when we’re situated.

    Have Men-O What on my Kindle!


    1. Nice of you to drop by with your busy schedule Marian. And I do know well how miraculously the weight can melt when we move, it must be that surge of adrenalin to getting us in flight and fight mode lol. And then yes, just as miraculously those pounds always seem to find their way back to us. Take it easy, and don’t forget to breathe! 🙂


  3. So the reason I am a parent is because I was told I’d go through the menopause before I turned 30. So we tried to get pregnant FAST and it worked on the second attempt – not something that should have been possible (given it was all but natural – minus a man) the doctors promptly changed their minds and decided they had made a mistake and there was nothing wrong with me – too late, I was pregnant. You can imagine my predicament!

    Anyways – I’m not looking forward to it whenever it eventually does come round!


    1. Lol Sach. Don’t you just love doctors? Next time, get a 2nd opinion. Now you have your bundle of joy, and you can still look forward to the joys of menopause . . NOT! LOL 🙂


      1. Well we did! The first opinion was from Harley street! They ran tests twice – it’s all very complex – were not 100% sure I’m ok but sure enough I’ll only know for sure if we decide to try again and having more testing done. It’s a long story!


      2. Maybe. But when I’ve read excerpts of yours and get so enthralled I just don’t know how I could do that for my life. Plus my memory is SHOCKING! lol. Maybe you can convince me at the bash! :p


      3. Lol, we might do lots of things at the Bash! And I don’t need to convince you. I know you’re a wonderful story teller, and you’re so raw and honest the way you speak on your blog, I always felt you have it in you to be a nonfiction writer, so why not memoir. But believe me, unless you’re writing humor all the time, memoir writing can be painful. I can’t even tell you how many time I’ve had to walk away from my MS from gut wrenching memories. 🙂


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