Memoir Bytes – Sing Me No Songs Piano Man

Vision perception
Memoir

 

Each night, around 8pm we’d hear the beautiful music from a piano being played next door. The music was beautiful and soothing. I was eleven years old.

We’d spend a few weeks every summer for the couple of years we owned a condo in Miami Beach there, as well as Christmas and Easter break. The piano man had to have been well in his seventies. He and his wife had introduced themselves to my mother and I one day as we passed them in our mutual hallway. They lived next door. He smiled at me with what felt like kindness, but as a young girl who was always eager for any attention paid to me, I didn’t know what was behind his smile.

My siblings and me spent many fun days at the swimming pool on those dog day afternoons of hot Florida sun. We’d swim for hours, splashing away and jumping off the diving board without a care in the world. Many days I’d see the piano man lounging at the pool. It was hard to miss him because I could almost feel him peering right through me as his gaze always seemed intently focused on me. When my eyes would catch his, he’d offer a smile so bright it was difficult not to smile back.

As the days passed, the piano man wasn’t always around, but when he was, I couldn’t help but feel he was a lonely man as he’d sit by himself and never talk with anyone. I’d look at him sometimes from the corner of my eye just to see if he was still around, but something within me warned me to keep my distance from him, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.

The fact that I thought I’d seen his penis hanging out from his bathing suit one day as he lay on a sunbed with his legs sprawled apart taking in the sun didn’t alarm me because, quite frankly, I’d seen a few of those mishaps a few times when some older men were sitting awkwardly in a chair. Besides, I knew nothing about sex or desire at that age.

I was the carer of my siblings by that age, even on vacation our mother was busy socializing, out with her then boyfriend on some lazy afternoons when she thought she wouldn’t be missed. We spent most afternoons at the pool there during those summer holidays while my dad was back home in Toronto working. I’d learned years later that my mother’s boyfriend was indeed a family friend who coincidentally also had a condo with his family in our same building in Florida. Convenient.

Nobody seemed to pay any mind to that piano man, not even my mother.

One day when I’d had enough swimming and wanted to head upstairs for some lunch, I found myself sharing an elevator with the piano man. I supposed he’d had enough sun too and was going back to his condo. He never spoke, just smiled at me the whole time in the elevator then he followed closely behind me as I exited the elevator. His door was next to ours so I thought nothing of the coincidence, as a naive girl of eleven.

While I stood at my door fiddling with my keys, he’d caught up to me. I felt him push his body up against me as I was opening the door. In that exact moment as I flung open the door, and wondering what he was trying to do, my mother appeared in the front hall doorway. The piano man said hi to her and made a beeline for his condo.

My mother never suspected anything other than perhaps he’d been walking me to the door. I was confused at the man’s actions but never mentioned any of my concerns to my mother or anyone else. After all, what did I know in 1970 about pedophiles?

That story could have had a much worse ending, and it’s a story I’ve never forgotten. I never had any growing up lessons from my mother. I knew nothing about the birds and the bees, only about never having courage to ask my mother about anything personal, especially about anything regarding my private parts, my fears, hopes or otherwise.

Many children share some of the same fears I had as a child because their parents don’t give them a platform to discuss their personal selves or don’t allow them to feel comfortable doing so. Particularly in the world we live in now, parents must talk with their children, not scare them, but make them understand that when strangers approach them, invading their private space, or trying to lure them away with offers of treats or fantastic adventures, they must understand the boundaries of safety. They must talk to their children and make them feel comfortable about coming to their parents with any concerns.

Had I felt a comfort talking with my mother, I would have told her about the man who kept staring at me whenever he was around, his penis hanging out of his bathing suit, and him pushing himself on me. I knew instinctively that he was trying to get into the condo with me, not merely walking me to the door. I was scared of that man after that day. I didn’t tell my mother I was scared, but I never again went in that elevator or into my condo alone without asking one of my brothers to come with me. I learned from my own instincts and gratefully, it wasn’t too late. By the grace of God I wasn’t raped.

Mindful Monday – P. S. I Forgive You, by D. G. Kaye – A Mindful Journey

Forgiveness

Mindful Monday with Colleen Chesebro

 

The talented Colleen is the author of The Heart Stone ChroniclesThe Swamp Fairy and runs 2 blogs, one where she offers up writing tips and challenges and one on her experiences and growth in life in her journey to mindfulness and health. Today I was thrilled to find that Colleen has chosen my book, P.S I Forgive You, to review and share the messages she took from my book.

 

 

Welcome to Mindful Monday. Each week I look at new or sometimes old things about myself on my journey to becoming more conscious about my life journey. I have found that being mindful encompasses the act of being watchful, aware, wary, heedful, alert, careful, or attentive, in whatever area in my life I feel it applies to, as I try to engage in the present.

Come and join me on my journey. You never know what you will learn about yourself.

I have something different for you this week. It’s a book review of a novel that touched me deeply. The subject matter had to do with a journey and a liberation of pent up emotions that enabled the author to find peace. If that is not a mindful journey, I don’t know what is.

Mindfulness is about change, understanding, and acceptance of who we are and who we want to become. We all have a journey, and who we are as children changes through the years into adulthood. Perhaps it has to do with maturity, but we all get to a certain age where reflection leads to deeper understanding and forgiveness of the things we simply cannot change.

Please let me introduce: P.S. I Forgive You

MY RECOMMENDATION:

How many of us come from dysfunctional families? I know I certainly came from one. However, when you are the child of a narcissistic mother, those wounds fester and bleed well into adulthood becoming baggage that hangs around your heart. Almost certainly, these feelings are accompanied by guilt and a desire to understand why a mother could treat her own flesh and blood in such a demeaning way. Especially, when you would never think of treating your own children with such disdain.

This is the author’s journey to redemption. Continue Reading . . .

 

Source: Mindful Monday – P. S. I Forgive You, by D. G. Kaye – A Mindful Journey

Sunsets, Sedona, and Hair

D.G. Kaye Arizona

 

 

I’m having a blast. It’s been a fun-filled and relaxing time here in Scottsdale, Arizona. The weather is gorgeous and while I enjoy spending a few hours a day at the pool sunning, reading and writing, I also go out for dinner most evenings to some quaint places, walk around the touristy downtown stores and galleries, and Wednesday, took a day jaunt up to Sedona.

Sedona Bell Rock

 

We have our friends Larry and Lois who live here with whom we get together with frequently, and my cousin El is staying here for the month in a condo a few minutes away. She had a friend stay with her for the first 10 days and the four girls have been out and about quite a bit together. El’s husband wasn’t well so he chose not to make the trip and my own husband hasn’t been up to some of the longer tours and walking trips, so girl power it has been.

 

Girls in Scottsdale
The girls hunting down dessert

 

This weekend El and I will be going to the Scottsdale Art Festival and the Cavecreek Western Festival, who knows what we’ll discover there, and what I’ll have to share with you after those ventures.

Isabella's kitchen

 

So far, we’ve been to some fabulous restaurants, one in particular, Isabella’s Kitchen, known for it’s spectacular sunset views. It’s a great Italian restaurant nestled on the start of a golf course up in North Scottsdale. The one night we chose to go there, it was unseasonably cold that evening. The place is open air with mere plastic roll down shades to ward off the wind, good thing we took our jackets with us. Below are some beautiful photos of this property:

Sunset Arizona

 

 

cousins in Scottsdale

 

 

sunset Arizona

Sunset

Another night we walked around downtown Scottsdale before dinner to work up an appetite and I sat down with a couple of wooden cowboys.

wooden cowboys

 

Sedona is one of my favorite places to visit. It’s about an hour and a half drive north of Scottsdale, known for its healing properties at its 3 vortexes and its beautiful red rock mountains. The drive there is a beautiful scenic desert drive.

 

I revisited the Chapel of the Holy Cross  (I wrote about this last year ) and this time while there, met a Bishop visiting there from Australia. He was kind and allowed us to take a picture with him. We chatted for a bit then he blessed us and we parted ways.

Chapel of Holy Cross

 

chapel sign

 

 

Chapel angel

 

We then drove over to Wholefoods, one of my favorite places to grocery shop, and picked up some lunch there, as well as some of their famous store brand dark chocolate with natural honeycomb in the middle.

 

We then wandered downtown Sedona to visit some shops and I noticed the prices had escalated considerably since my last year visit. I used great restraint and didn’t buy anything other than my yummy chocolate to take back with me.

 

I made an amateur video tape of us at the Chapel of Holy Cross. I spent over 3 hours trying to shrink the size to get it on here and after all I did, it came out sideways. I’m out of options, there was no way to turn this the proper way without starting over the shrinking process, so please forgive my terrible amateur video venture here with my phone. If you want to see some of these spectacular views, please turn your laptops (or your heads around) to view, lol. Again, sorry I suck at this.

Just before we were getting ready to return back to Scottsdale, we sat for a few moments on a bench to take in the beautiful surroundings, when my eyes focused to the pavement beneath me. My cousin El had noticed the same odd sight. Sure it was just a patch of grass growing through a crack, but El and I both looked at one another and busted a gut as we both noted it looked like someone’s famous hair.

grass

 

Stay tuned for Art Festival news next week.

Stuck #Writing Your Author Bio? Try The (Totally Not Serious) Author Bio Generator | Journey To Ambeth

 

Festisite Reblog

Helen Jones from Journey To Ambeth wrote a fun post about how to write an author bio.

 

“So I’ve been noticing a trend recently of, shall we say, somewhat overwrought author bios, in which every detail is teased into something magnificent, a picture of a life fabulously lived. I realise that there are, in fact, authors who do live wonderfully exciting lives but I also seem to remember a time when it wasn’t really important to know about it. A time when an author bio was a few lines at the end of a book . . .”Continue Reading 

 

Source: Stuck Writing Your Author Bio? Try The (Totally Not Serious) Author Bio Generator | Journey To Ambeth

Traveling Day to Arizona- A tough task for Seniors

 

Balcony Arizona view
A view from our balcony in Arizona

 

We arrived in beautiful, sunny Scottsdale, Arizona last Wednesday. The lack of sleep the night before we left with trying to get to sleep much earlier than we were used to wound up being a fitful 3 hours sleep, knowing that alarm clock was ready to go off at 4am.

Dragging ourselves and baggage through the airport begins our early day. I have become the schlepper of the luggage now for me and my husband. Despite his age, he’d always been strong and took care of the heavy lifting, but with all the illness he’s suffered in past years, his age has caught up with him; muscles diminished, his pace once many steps ahead of mine now lag behind me.

Traveling seems to be getting more difficult with every new trip. Airlines give you less and charge you more. The once upon a time joy and ease of travel has become a methodically planned regime. With each consequent trip there’s a new change or rule from the airlines.

It wasn’t so long ago the airlines began offering us to print out our boarding passes at home, giving those who’ve done so, priority checking in line. This is no longer good enough, we now have to check in to a computer kiosk first, bags in tow, to print out our own airline destination tags before entering the check in line. It appears that the people behind the check in counter no longer have anything to do but check your passport and count you in.

This trip I discovered, they no longer take our bags at check in and weigh them, or do we cart them through the long US custom lines before getting to baggage drop off where an airline employee is there to lift the bags onto the belt. No, now we follow the check in rules and drag our bags a few meters to a new post, the newfangled x-ray machine belts. This is where you lift your own bags onto the machine and it electronically weighs and measures your bag’s dimensions before it even begins to move. That’s if you can lift your bags on yourself, otherwise you may be SOL, hoping someone will come along to lift them for you.

I gathered up my 2 hour sleep strength to lift 3, 50 pound bags and couldn’t help but wonder how the elderly can travel without someone younger or stronger to, first figure out the electronic requirements of checking in, then to summon the strength to lift their bags. I was reminded of how much I missed my husband’s once strong arms to do the heavy lifting.

After that workout, we were off to go through US customs, then through security – getting practically undressed and re-dressed while placing shoes, hats, jackets, purses, computers, and what not onto the belt. The last hurdle came when boarding the plane with having to once again lift the two carry-on bags into the overhead bin. That was another test of my physical strength. I was feeling my age. If you’re lucky, a decent human being seeing a damsel in distress with her aged husband might offer a hand, but not on that trip.

My husband watched me with adoration in his eyes and I could feel the sadness in his heart knowing he was no longer the hero who looked after such matters. I smiled at him knowingly and said, “It’s my turn now Hon, I’m the man. I got this.” In my own heart I ached for all those times we traveled together and he took the reins; the days I shamelessly took for granted.

Easy Read Memoir Conflicted Hearts: A+ Review – ALWAYS WRITE

D.G. Kaye's books

 

I was pleasantly surprised while checking out a few blogs while on vacation and finding this wonderful review of my book Conflicted Hearts, reviewed by a most informative blogger and great book reviewer, Marsha Ingrao.

Conflicted Hearts, D.G. Kaye

 

LOOKING FOR AN EASY READ MEMOIR?

Is that even possible, an easy read memoir? Almost by definition, a remarkable memoir must have a conflict or opposition that makes it memorable. At times it draws tears, uneasy drops that remind us of sad or hard times in our lives. By easy read memoir, I don’t mean that the emotional conflicts melt like butter in your brain. No!

As Tina Frisco wrote, “Conflicted Hearts by D.G. Kaye reads like a personal conversation between two best friends.”

easy read memoirLOST CHILDHOOD

Kaye gave up her childhood to fill the gap in her family left by her mother. She became a capable leader. Any of us who have accomplished any of our dreams probably had a dream quencher in our lives somewhere. Kaye’s mother tried to squelch her spirit. In this easy read memoir, Kaye describes how she squirmed out of her mother’s constricting grasp and maintained sanity in the family. Continue Reading . . .

 

Source: http://marshajustwrites.com/easy-read-memoir-conflicted-hearts/

7 Tips on How to Sleuth out #Email Solicitor Requests

7 Tips on How to Sleuth out Email Solicitor Requests

 

Keep calm email

 

I’ve noticed in these past 6 months as I began my author guest post series and after being invited to other writer’s blogs to guest appear that my website had garnered a lot more attention. This has been great, but like everything else in this world of technology, when more people become aware of our blogs, we also tend to attract more attention from spammers and/or people requesting to be on our blogs.

 

In the past few months I’ve been receiving at least 5 emails a week from people I’ve never heard of, but claim, ‘they love my website” and would love an opportunity to guest appear on my blog. This may seem flattering at first, but you have to search for the intent in these offers.

 

First, I’d like to state that the authors and books I promote on my blog are of my choosing. I like to help promote friends and authors, especially, to give back to the many who support me. These interviews take up a good chunk of time to prepare questions for and put the draft together, so I don’t advertise on my blog to contact me for interviews. However, several people I have no affiliation with persist to offer me a chance to have them over to my blog.

 

So today I want to share what you should be looking out for if you are also receiving such offers. For some of you, you may find these offers lucrative, but still, there are things you should check out before considering.

 

What to Look Out For

  • Salutation – Did they use your name or greet you with “Hello siteowner” or something similar?

  • Did they leave their name and website address so you can look at their work?

  • Have they ever visited or commented on your blogs?

  • Does what they write about have anything to do with what your blog represents?

  • Do they keep sending you emails to convince you why you should be having them on your blog?

  • Are they professional in their email to you or sounding aggressive?

  • Here’s a big flag:  Do they ask you to add a permanent link to their website on your page?

 

These are key things to check out when you are approached to consider email offers to host someone you aren’t familiar with. You may find it flattering that someone is reading your work and approaching you, but you have to feel out what it is they’re after.

 

Personally, if those requesting a spot on my blog don’t address me by name, I will suspect their email is a generic send-out. If they don’t even leave a website to check out their work, don’t waste your time searching or replying.

 

Many of the emails I receive are from people who do content writing for companies and the website they leave is the product’s website containing a post they’ve curated for that company. Since I’m also considering doing some content writing for extra income, after taking a course late last year, I can spot these offers easily.

 

Most often, these emails inform me that they write about similar things as I do, and when I go over to a link they’ve left me to check, I find the topic has nothing to do with what I write about. Some of these people are mainly looking for a place to post about a product they’re likely to make an affiliated commission on. I have nothing against them for trying, but my blog isn’t a place where I promote random products or people unless I have used that product or know the person asking for a plug.

 

There are plenty of avenues to find appropriate places to offer content writing for without having to bother authors to promote their products. Some of these people are professional, but not many. So when these pitches are telling me how they’d ‘be a great fit for my blog and they aren’t, I do email them back and tell them why they are not. Some people persist and then I don’t bother replying again; some are so unprofessional I don’t bother replying at all.

 

If you’re someone who appreciates these offers and may find them to be beneficial to your blog, by all means try them out. But do keep in mind the important tips I’ve talked about to help you determine the offers that are legitimate and the ones that will be beneficial to your blogs.