Goodbye My Friend

 

Goodbye My Friend

 

Maya Angelou

 

I’m thinking about the past 15 years, We’ve gabbed, laughed, shared rants and pieces of our lives together. I came to you with sore neck and shoulders and locked hips through the years and you healed me many times over with your magical healing hands and heart,

 

You’d always begin by asking what music we should listen to in the background while you worked on my aches, and shared your personal self with me as we exchanged stories. Your enthusiastic interest in everything I had to say, and your concern about my life went beyond the scope of a doctor’s care.

 

I’m remembering the time my husband and I renovated one of our homes until our bones could no longer move and you spontaneously called me to say hello and check up on us. You knew we were too busy to take care of ourselves and made a visit to our home, schlepping along with you, your equipment to fix us both. I’m also remembering another time my overly ambitious husband, then in his mid-sixties decided he must sod our half-acre backyard by himself, and as the morning grew late into night on his knees, determined to finish sodding before he’d stop, only to get pinned down by the last load of sod in a wheelbarrow that fell on his leg. No amount of physiotherapy or chiropractor relieved his pain, but one visit to your office, and hours later, you sent him home pain-free.

 

I’m remembering how we’d laugh about our crazy menopause symptoms together, and how we’d compare notes on outlandish relief methods.  And don’t think for a moment, some of the hurts you kept hidden inside, I didn’t recognize, but I allowed you your space.

 

Everyone who knew you, knew how special you were as a person, and as a magical healer. There was and will never be anybody to replace you,  No matter the struggle going on in your own life, you wore a smile and filled a room with good vibes.

 

I’m remembering the countless times I came to you to fix my aching bones and muscles, and the two and three-hour sessions you’d spend working on me without charging me an extra dime. And it didn’t matter if it was a weekday or a weekend day, you always accommodated a last-minute request to see you.  You always gave of yourself to others first and put your personal life second, too busy to take care of yourself, helping others.

 

How could this happen? How were you always there for us and suddenly you aren’t anymore? I’m pretending I will see you again in a few months. And when that few months comes, I will pretend I had to cancel my appointment and see you in another few months. Maybe, after all those ‘laters’ pass, I’ll begin to accept that I won’t be seeing you again. I can’t even think about what I’ll do the next time my hips lock, but one thing is certain, the pain in my heart when remembering you’re not here will surely overshadow whatever pain I will physically feel.

 

? ??

 

Today I went for my routine checkup to my wonderful naturopath’s office – Dr. Eric. I almost dropped to the floor when he informed me our friend Dr. Shelly had passed over a month ago.

I met Shelly through Dr. Eric when they used to share office space together. We became fast friends. Shelly and I had so much in common, especially our taste in music. We both loved songs by some of the great R & B artists, our absolute favorite was Luther Vandross, whose passing we both mourned together.

Shelly was passionate about healing and often worked right through the weekend as an osteopath, well-versed in accupunture and natural remedies for healing. But it was her magical hands when placed on you that could instantly pinpoint exactly where the problems were rooted, and could heal you with just one treatment.

Shelly was the typical example of a professional caregiver who dedicated her time to fixing others, often neglecting her own ailments. Nobody knew that Shelly had cancer – not even Shelly until it was too late. She died only two weeks after her diagnosis.

 

Music

 

Rest in peace my dear friend. I will never forget you for your friendship and all that you have done for me through the years. I’d like to think you’re grooving up there with Luther Vandross and I’ll think of you every time I hear him on the radio. I will always miss you❣

91 thoughts on “Goodbye My Friend

  1. So sorry to hear you have lost such a special person in your life. She was by your account a rare individual, selfless, lovely, caring, healing and fun to be with. A rare friend and skilled healer. No doubt she will be sorely missed.

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  2. Debby, this is a very touching and beautiful tribute to your dear friend, Shelly. May your memories of her be forever in your heart and give you the passion to live your life fully. Life is so precious and needs to be carefully tended to. Each moment counts. May your friend rest in peace wherever she may be and may your connection to her, now transformed, be always present. <3. xxx Hugs.

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  3. I’m so sorry to hear this, for you. It’s hard (nearly impossible?) to find good friends as we age so this must be particularly sad. I love your approach–“I’m pretending I will see you again in a few months. And when that few months comes, I will pretend I had to cancel my appointment.” What a role model.

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    1. Thank you Jacqui. It’s so true, the older we get, the more we assess the important friendships in our life after years of cultivating our tribe. As we all know, our tribe tends to shrink rather than grow. 😦

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss, Debby. I read your wonderful words to a dear friend, I had goosebumps. What a wonderful woman and I too, hope she is dancing with Luther Vandross now, free from pain. xxx

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  5. A beautiful post, Debby, full of heart. I’m so sorry that you lost someone dear to you. It does seem to be part of aging. Your thankfulness for having Shelly in your life shines through the grief. ❤

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  6. She sounds like an angel. ❤ I’m so sorry to hear of this. What a shock it must have been and, once you get over that, seems you’ll be missing much more than friendship. What a joy that you had her in your life all those years.

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      1. I’m sorry. I meant that, aside from being a good friend, she was also an amazing healer and went out of her way to help others. (Bad word choice on my part in that comment, I think.) Take good care of yourself. ❤ Hugs.

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  7. Hi Debby – I’m so sorry to read this – it must be such a shock … and brings us up short. Wonderful remembrances of times together you’ve given us here … my thoughts to you – HIlary

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  8. Earth angels punch a huge hole into life’s fabric when they pass on…I so feel for you and all who knew her. Shelly’s spirit will live on in your memories and I am wrapping you in soft love. ❤ xXx

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    1. Thank you my lovely friend for your warm words. So true, earth angels do leave a huge hole when they’re taken for other work above. Eventually I’ll be able to count my blessings later when I can place her in a different part of my heart, and remember how fortunate I was to know her. ❤ Thanks for your love and hugs Jane. M3 xxx

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  9. I’m sorry for your loss of a good friend and dedicated healer, Debbie. Your post is moving and beautiful – just as you described the nature of your relationship with Dr. Shelley. Hugs.

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  10. Debby, you have unleashed so many memories for me with your beautiful words. I lost a very close friend to breast cancer when we were 37….I even nursed her when she was admitted as a patient to my hospice. I’m not sure that there are any words at this time – it is such early days. But…..you will reach a stage when you remember with a smile before grief. sending much love, x

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    1. Thank you so much Claire, for your comforting and wise words. And thank you for sharing your own loss. Yes, it hurts most when it’s fresh and raw. I look forward to the time I can place my friend in a separate compartment in my heart when I can smile without the hurt. 🙂 ❤

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  11. So sorry for your loss, dear Debby… You have so many good memories with her, I am quite sure you´ll remember her with a smile! … The most powerful thing about meeting those special indigo (spiritual healers) friends is actually the fact that we had the chance to meet them. They make a difference in our lives. Much love! ❤

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    1. Thank you dear Aqui. And you are so right, it was an honor to have shared time with an earth angel. She will never be forgotten by many. Hugs and love to you my friend. ❤ xo

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  12. A beautiful tribute to a much loved friend. So sorry for your loss Debby, friends like that become such an integrated part of our lives it is truly bewildering when they suddenly aren’t there any more. Hugs.

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      1. I lost a great friend nearly 3 years ago now, and I still find myself considering dropping in to see her when I’m in the area. Confusing and distressing when I remember she’s not there any more.

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  13. A beautiful story and tribute to your friend. So sad. Music certainly brings people together (especially R&B ?). When I read your wonderful quote, I was so struck that it was written by Edward Bulwer Lytton– my relative! Thank you for this post.

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  14. I’m so sorry for your loss, Debby. Shelley sounds like a really remarkable woman. This is a wonderful tribute to her. I can hear the words being written, right from your heart. You will miss her, but when you need her, she’ll be right there in your heart. I’m not sure what you’ll do about your locked hips though. I am amazed by her healing powers. What she did for your hub after his sodding accident is phenomenal.

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  15. Oh Debby, so sorry about your friend. She sounds like a very special person. I’m sorry for the pain in your heart. I don’t know if that kind of pain ever heals. We just learn to live with it. Hugs to you. Xxx

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  16. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, Debby. What a wonderful, yet sad, tribute to Dr. Shelly. Your description of her and your relationship, and your appreciation and love for her made me tear up. Then, there is the beast and enemy of all: cancer. This also brings back memories of loved ones I lost and a husband who, luckily and so far, is beating a reoccurence. Beautiful writing!

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  17. So painful to lose a healer who has become a trusted friend. I’m sorry, Debby. Sometimes I think my friends and healers are dropping like flies or migrating like Monarchs. Off they go to other worlds, but new ones somehow arrive. May you find another person to trust.

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    1. Thanks Elaine. Sometimes it does feel that way, so many good people are leaving us. I don’t think I will ever find another Shelly, but I’d sure be open to finding another healer. ❤

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  18. Aaw, Deb, I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear friend, Shelly. The only thing that brings me comfort at times like this is knowing that death is to life as waking is to sleep. I have no doubt you will meet again. Hugs, my sweet friend ??

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