Month: October 2017

Writing to Release

Writing as Therapy – Releasing our Thoughts on Paper

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Writing to Release

 

Writing to Release

 

We use our writing to convey our thoughts, ideas, and to tell stories. For many of us, writing is a personal outlet to communicate our feelings and opinions. Writing can be a therapeutic exercise, enabling us to release what may be stifling our well-being,  offering us freedom to release our locked up emotions onto paper.

An abundance of articles and books have been written on helpful methods to release our inner turmoil. Using methods such as writing a letter to ourselves or directly to someone whom we feel we need to express our thoughts and feelings about circumstances that plague us internally is an excellent release. I’ve used this method on several occasions, beginning in my childhood, going straight into my adult years before I even realized the value of the therapeutic benefits.

Many of us have issues with confronting people with our personal feelings and need an outlet to release these feelings within, whether they be feelings of angst or affection. As a child growing up in a dysfunctional home environment, I often wanted to confront my mother about my feelings and opinions, but never mustered the courage to do so.

I began writing letters to her. After writing each one of them, I felt as though a great burden had been lifted off of my sub-conscience just by getting my feelings out of my head and onto the paper. I never sent her any of them.

Whether we are introverts or extroverts, at times, we all harbor thoughts that plague us that would serve us better if we could release them. Our minds sometimes become clouded with unanswered questions, doubts, and feelings of neglect from bruised emotions. When we don’t have an outlet or ears for us to vent to, or often, the courage to confront, writing becomes the savior of our soul.

I know many of us grew up with similar fears of their parents that I had with my own mother. Having no platform to speak out  on can be disheartening, and leave long-term hurt to surmount and fester within. Our feelings of powerlessness and intimidation to approach people with our thoughts hampers our confidence levels and often our self-esteems when there is no outlet to release and have our thoughts validated or repaired by communication.

Writing became my voice to replace my fears of confrontation. It began as a child with emotional fears and continued through my earlier romantic relationships. I was uncomfortable with declaring my feelings to a partner, because it was all I’d known from childhood – afraid to speak my opinion and feelings. I found the act of writing those letters come in handy throughout those earlier relationships. I refrained from ever sending or giving one of my letters to my mother, but I learned to give them to my partners. The words I had no courage to speak out loud, spoke for me in my letters. And the right partners were the ones who responded to my words, eventually enabling me to become more comfortable and willing to express myself vocally.

Not everyone is compassionate. Not everyone wants to hear what we have to say. But when we open our heart to someone with our words and we receive positive feedback and acknowledgement, it’s a great stepping stone to opening the lines of verbal communication beginning with that person, instilling a gained confidence to speak out loud to others.

My writing has helped to free my spirit that was once stifled with fear and anxiety, holding me back from speaking my thoughts and feelings. Writing is the gift of empowerment. Whether we write letters, keep a journal of our thoughts and feelings or write complete stories, they are all effective avenues to communicate about what resides within us. Eventually, our words will connect with the appropriate receivers, and for those not open to receive . . .well, at least we’ve released our internal burden and we leave the ball in their court with a chance for them to hear what we have to say. With any luck, we’ve opened the lines of communication. We can feel lighter knowing we’ve released. 

Blogging tips

#BlogTip: An Author Website Checklist – JeriWB Word Bank

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Blogging tips

 

Author/editor Jeri Walker has a great post for writers with a complete checklist of what your blog/website should have to make it most efficient for readers to navigate.

 

#BlogTip: An Author Website Checklist

by Jeri Walker

In the search for potential editing clients, I visit a lot of websites. That effort has culminated as an author website checklist. It never ceases to amaze me how many authors don’t provide a way to get in touch, whether via a contact form or an email address. That’s just the tip of the iceberg though. In this day and age, an appealing and user-friendly website is a must. As an author, you might not be a tech guru, but that’s not an excuse for a lackluster website. I am by no means an expert in web design, but the information provided here can serve to light a fire toward whipping your website into shape.

 

An Author Website Checklist

This post serves as an author website checklist with helpful links added where appropriate. The five main categories progress from the macro to the micro level to reflect how users typically engage with content. This is not a how-to list. Rather, this list can help pinpoint areas you may need to improve on your author website, whether by learning how to do it yourself or by hiring a webmaster to do it for you. Many pressing issues can be alleviated by starting with a professionally designed theme. Word Bank has used the Nexus theme from Elegant Themes for a couple of years now, and I have been pleased.

 

Visual Presentation

At first glance, the visual appeal of the blog appears to complement its intended message. A new visitor can quickly surmise the site’s main focus. This author website checklist for visual presentation includes:

 

First Impression: How inviting does the site appear? Does it seem too bland or too busy? Does the design fit the your primary genre?

Dates: Is the content consistently dated or undated? Formatted for target country?

Mobile-Friendly: Is the site optimized for viewing on SmartPhone and tablets?

Pop-Ups: If an automatic opt-in box comes up, how distracting is it? Does it appear right away? In what location?

Colors: Are the colors used purposely? Do they complement each other or seem jarring?

Blog Name: What is the blog’s name? Is it different from the URL? Does it feature the author’s name?

Tagline: Does the tagline sufficiently hint at the purpose of the blog and its niche? Is the author’s genre alluded to?

Logo: How memorable is the site’s logo image? Does it have one?

Font Size and Type: Is the typeface large enough and dark enough to easily read? In general, black text on a light background is best for readability.

Theme Width: Is the main post area fairly wide, or is it too narrow?

Background: If an image, is it distracting in any way? Is it solid or transparent?

Landing Page: Does the choice of a dynamic or a static landing page seem appropriate? Is the author’s book(s) featured in a prominent spot?

Sidebar Widgets: Purposeful or distracting? Does the size seem right?

Ads and Affiliate Links: If present, are they relevant? Easy to read? Placed logically?

 

Organization and Ease of Navigation

The content is laid out in a logical way that anticipates the user’s needs. If appropriate, information can be accessed from more than one location. This author website checklist for organization and ease of navigation includes:

 

Overall: Does the organization fit reader expectations? Does the content fit the structure? Could plug-ins, widgets, and images be bogging your site down?

Menus: Readable, clickable, brief text? Appropriate location? Top? Bottom? Sidebar?

Most Recent Post: Is it featured so the reader can easily identify it? If not, could readers get discouraged by trying to locate it from various categories?

Pages: Does each have a clear purpose and complete info? Could any be condensed? As an author website, there should be a page for books, about, contact, and appearances and publications.

Excerpts: Do posts on the main page appear by excerpt only with a “read more” link? Otherwise, a new reader has to scroll through too much information in order to quickly surmise the site.

Follow Buttons: Are social media buttons displayed? Do they open in a new window?

Search Box: Present an accessible? Do searches go quickly or does the site slow down?

Sign-Up Forms: Are email subscription forms in place and in easy to see locations?

Contact Form: Is the form present in the sidebar or a separate page? Does it work?

Sharing Buttons: Is it easy to share the page? Does the author’s Twitter handle show when the user opts to tweet the post or page?

Commenting Ease: How user-friendly is the comment process? Does the user have to sign up for a commenting services, or can comments be made in a commenting section native to the website in question?

Subscribe to Comments: Can commenters receive email notifications to follow the discussion? Is a box automatically checked to subscribe to new blogs posts? Please be aware it’s better practice to let potential new readers check that box rather than setting it to be pre-checked. Continue reading . . .

 

Source: #BlogTip: An Author Website Checklist – JeriWB Word Bank

Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

Sunday Book Review – My GRL by John Howell

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Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

 

My Sunday book review is on blogger/author, John Howell’s Book 1 in the John Cannon series, MY GRL. It’s been awhile since I sunk my eyes into an action thriller and I’m glad I did with this one. I look forward to reading the rest of John’s books in this series.

 

My GRL by John Howell

Get this book on Amazon

 

Blurb:

John J. Cannon, a successful San Francisco lawyer, takes a leave of absence from the firm and buys a boat he names My GRL. John is unaware his boat has been targeted by a terrorist group to be used to destroy a symbol of America’s greatness. John’s first inkling of trouble is when he wakes up in the hospital and learns he was found unconscious next to the body of the young woman who sold him the boat in the first place. John now is the only one standing between the terrorists and the success of their mission.

 

My 4.5 Star Review:

Friendships, Betrayals and Boats

John Cannon is taking a year off from his law practice for a little leisure time to a coastal town in Texas. He leases himself a cozy home, buys a reliable car and a dream boat, he names My GRL.

The story unfolds with John going for a celebration drink with his new friend Gerry who hooked him up with the people he bought his boat from, and the action begins. And soon, John’s plans for rest and relaxation turn into nightmares on what becomes a cat and mouse chase that we experience through John’s perspective in this unusual but intriguing story told in first person accounting. This allows us to get right into Cannon’s mind and follow his thoughts, fears, intermittent humor, and finally his plans for his mission to survive as he and his ‘GRL’ are used as pawns and instruments in an international terrorist plot.

The story is full of action, deceit, and will keep you wondering who are the bad guys from the good till the end. Great action thriller and I look forward to reading the other books in this John Cannon series.

We are the World Blogfest

#WATWB Recycling Mall Opens in Sweden

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Random Acts of Kindness and Inspiration

We are the World Blogfest

 

The last Friday of every month, a group of writers join by posting something positive and inspirational to help spread some kindness messages in our community and deflect off some of the negativity in the world. A link is added at the bottom of this posts if you’d like to join in and post one of your own #WATWB contributions.

 

Would you shop in a mall that carried only recycled products?

 

I found this article about an experiment to see if retail could pick up momentum by opening an environmentally friendly shopping mall. I know I wouldn’t hesitate to shop there. Read more about  what they sell and how things are recycled. And if you continue reading you will see some fabulous photos of examples of recycled goods. Then take a short tour with the video below.

 

With malls in the U.S. in the midst of what analysts are calling a retail apocalypse, nervous store owners are looking for any signs of life. A new shopping experiment in Sweden is offering a different model for consumerism, but it’s idea of rebirth may not be what brands are looking for.

ReTuna Återbruksgalleria may sound like a piece of flat-pack furniture, but this new take on retail—a mall featuring only recycled or reclaimed goods—would be the last place to find such a disposable produce. According to Anna Bergström, one of the founders, the new concept is all about sustainability. Everything for sale in the shopping center, which opened in August of 2015 in Eskilstuna, a city 75 mile west of Stockholm, has been upcycled. Shoppers are encouraged to drop off used items when the arrive, which will later be transformed by the designers, craftspeople, and store owners working inside.

ReTuna represents a partnership between a municipally-own company and local non-profits and businesses, an outgrowth of local officials wanting to do more to help promote sustainability and address Sweden’s waste reduction plan. The city owns the property and rents it to tenants who support sustainable businesses practices. Continue reading . . .

 

This week’s #WATWB hosts are”   Shilpa Garg, Sylvia McGrath, Mary Giese, Belinda Witzenhausen and Guilie Castillo . Please link to them in your WATWB posts and go say hi!  

 

If you’d like to join in with a positive post you can add your name and URL post to this linkup HERE

Blog sharing

D.G. Kaye on Growing Self-Esteem | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

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Blog sharing

 

I was honored to be invited over to ADD Coach and Mentor, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie’s blog to talk about growing a self-esteem and to share an excerpt of my book, Words We Carry.

 

Working through the past
to live powerfully in the present

Guest Blogger:  © Debby Gies (author D.G. Kaye)

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Returning the favor

In mid-August I was honored by a request to write an article for blogger Debby Gies, (author D.G. Kaye), so that she could spend her time getting her latest book ready for publication.

I chose to focus on the brain-based benefits to those of us who take frequent vacations between the pages of a book.

(CLICK HERE to read the entire article on her site)

I had a wonderful time putting something together for the writing/reading followers of Debby’s blog.  However, I made her promise that she would write something suitable for the readers of ADDandSoMuchMORE.com — as soon as she had a bit of that illusive free-time that seems to be in short supply for most of us.

And so she deliberately set aside time in her super-busy life to return the favor. I was thrilled when I discovered that she decided to feature self-esteem, one of the topics she covers in “Words We Carry,” a wonderfully heartfelt book I devoured on my Kindle and recently reviewed.

Because so many of us in Alphabet City have heard so many times that “we’re not doing it right,” we frequently develop low self-esteem as a result. A few of us struggle with it still.  I’ll let Debby explain a bit about how she battled that particular demon below.

 

Words We Carry by D.G. Kaye

Thank you for inviting me here today, Madelyn, to your esteemed blog. For those who don’t know me, I’m D.G. Kaye, a Canadian nonfiction writer/author. All my books are written from my own experiences about some of my life’s triumphs and tribulations.

I wrote Words We Carry by taking what I’ve learned through life, relationships, people, and growing up with a low self-esteem.

This book contains short essays on those elements, sharing my own insecurities and how I overcame them, creating awareness on relationship pitfalls, and sharing some of my own hang-ups and quirks I developed through the process of growing my own self-esteem.

I titled the book Words We Carry because much of our character is built on the way in which we’re treated by friends and family when we’re young. When we’re not given any confidence boosts by the people in our lives and endure teasing about our flaws, those are the qualities our self-doubt tends to focus on. Alternatively, if we grow up in a healthy environment where we’re made to feel secure and loved and appreciated for who we are, we will look at ourselves in more positive light. Continue reading . . .

 

Source: D.G. Kaye on growing self-esteem | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

Sunday Book Review of ‘Words We Carry’ and ‘P.S. I Forgive You by D.G. Kaye

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Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

 

For this week’s Sunday Book Review, I’m thrilled to share 3 new reviews I came across this week for 2 of my books: Words We Carry and P.S. I Forgive You. It is humbling for me and most gratifying when I learn that my books touch a reader and offer something of value and hope to empower others.

 

Words We Carry, D.G. Kaye Amazon

Get this book on Amazon

 

Blurb:

 

“I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it, deflating my own ego without the help of anyone else.”

What do our shopping habits, high-heeled shoes, and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect how we choose our relationships now?
D.G. takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth.
Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.

 

5 Star Reviews

 

Thoroughly Recommended!
ByMegaReaderon October 16, 2017 (Stevie Turner)
Format: Kindle Edition

The dysfunctional childhood suffered by author D.G Kaye has left her with great insight into the human condition, which she writes about with much accumulated wisdom in her inspirational non-fiction book ‘Words We Carry’.  We read how parents, teachers, and events in our childhood shape the adults that we become.  I suffered quite a few similar events in my own childhood that the author did, and found the whole book excellent and eerily uncanny to my own life experiences.

Ms Kaye believes, just as I do, that we should put on a smile, think positive thoughts, and dress to please ourselves and not others.  It doesn’t matter if we are not blessed with outward beauty, a happy and friendly demeanour will shine through and attract new friends.  Beauty is as beauty does; nobody gets pleasure from being around a miserable complainer, even though they may be the best looking person for miles around.
By the time the reader reaches the last page, they would have the recipe in their hands to give their self-esteem a huge boost.  Over the years I have learned to feel comfortable in my own skin, just like the author had to, and to ignore or walk away from people whose only aim in life was to make disparaging comments in order to make me feel bad about myself.

I received this book in a free promotion, but I will definitely read it again.  Thoroughly recommended!

 

Conversational and Enlightening
ByBALROOP SINGHon October 11, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

‘Words We Carry’ by D.G. Kaye is a brilliant memoir about building self-worth, learning to love yourself, understanding your inner voice and coming to terms with whatever life offers. We have to face negative experiences at various stages of life, some in the form of negative people we meet and others in the form of words that at hurled at us by bullies. Those words keep hurting even when we grow up unless we address them to put them in their perspective. Kaye shares her own struggle with those words and how she rooted them out of her psyche.

Insecurities and fears are an imperative part of growing up. Often we try to deny them, brush them under the carpet and put up a brave front. Hidden fears manifest themselves by eating into our self-esteem. Kaye talks about them candidly and shares how she confronted them to drop the unnecessary baggage that was saddled on her by her own mother, whose beauty intimidated her as a child and a teenager. Self-analysis and determination to shake off her inadequacies, developing a positive attitude and learning to appreciate her capabilities strengthened her resolve to reach a benchmark that she had set for herself.

It was her best friend Zan, who pulled her out of the emotional traumas and acquainted her with her real beauty, her benevolence and her confidence. This book would never lose its relevance and is appropriate even for adolescents who encounter all those issues that Kaye discusses in a conversational style. The section on relationships is extremely enlightening. Citing her personal examples, D.G. discusses how certain people could be toxic and why they should be shunned. Her insights are inspiring, her obsession with shoes hilarious and her resilience worth emulating.

P.S. I Forgive You

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Blurb:

 

“I hurt for her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my mother.”

Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts. In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.

After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near. Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.

 

5 Star Review

 

We don’t get to choose our families, but we get to choose how we live our lives
ByKate Johnstonon October 14, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

 

 

Reblog and share

Smorgasbord Invitation Blog Magazine – A new concept and more opportunities to be promoted. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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Reblog and share

 

Today I’m sharing another generous offer from Sally Cronin who is a tireless promoter of the works of other creatives. Sally is compiling a Blog Magazine with her guest’s posts From the Archives, where she generously offers opportunities to have your work promoted on her blog. Along with this offer, there are many more promotional opportunities on Sally’s Blog. Please read her article below, and pay special attention to the part about ‘sharing and engaging in comments’ when your post is being featured.

 

Smorgasbord Invitation Blog Magazine – A new concept and more opportunities to be promoted.

Posted on  by 

As I enter my fifth year of blogging I have decided that it was time to make some renovations to the existing blog and to increase the ways that I can promote authors and bloggers in our community.

Readers that follow the blog have a diverse range of interests and I would like to feature more posts that reflect that. Over the last few weeks I have been testing out a new series – Posts from Your Archives and judging by the response, it has been a success.

I decided to give the trial two months, but I am now extending this into a permanent feature, as part of my move into a more magazine concept for the blog.

Smorgasbord Invitation – Blog magazine for lovers of health, food, books, music, humour and life in general.

We already have health and food series, book promotions, music, humour but I would love to feature more Life in General. This can be short stories, relationships, family, travel experiences, expertise in a particular field. Informational and entertaining posts that cover a wide range of topics that will satisfy the interests of those who visit the blog.

Of course posts on food, music, health and humour are also welcome and here is how you can participate. (And if you have some Christmas specific posts then keep them on the back burner until I ask for them in November)

Go through your blog archives and you will find that if you have been blogging once a week for a year you will have at least 52 posts. If you are like me when you first started blogging you began with a handful of followers and built that up over time. But this means that your earlier posts may only have had a few views and likes. Even if you have reshared them on your own blog you are still sharing to your current audience.

By sharing them on my blog not only will you be reaching my readers but also encouraging them to come over to your blog and follow you and building your own readership.

Once you have identified four posts that you would like to share, all you have to do is send the links to the posts to me by email to sally.cronin@moyhill.com

I will post on my blog with your copyright and also feature your bio, photo and social media links which I can take from your blog or you can attach to the email.

If you are an author, I will feature your books, a most recent review and the links for both Amazon and Goodreads.

However, I would prefer that your blog post links are not for book promotional purposes.

This brings me on to Author Promotions.

I am very happy to promote your books here FREE in one of the current promotions.  At them moment I am promoting around 25 authors a week in one feature or another and Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore is also undergoing a face-lift to make it more effective in selling your books.

Each author will now have up to 7 book covers and also an extract to a most recent review for one of the books. The review will have the link to the review as well as the buy link for Amazon, giving the reader two opportunities to hit your Amazon author page and buy.

I am working through the 160 authors in the bookstore. I have removed 70 authors that have been in the bookstore for two years but I have not heard from in the last 12 months. Continue Reading . . .

Books by Sally Cronin

 

 

 

Source: Smorgasbord Invitation Blog Magazine – A new concept and more opportunities to be promoted. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

Featured author of the week

Guest Author Feature – Lisa Thomson – Divorce Support Party

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Featured author of the week

 

 

Today I’m thrilled to introduce you to friend and fellow Canadian blogger/author, Lisa Thomson

Lisa’s blog – The Great Escape Divorce Support at Lisa Thomson Live offers tips on how to get through divorce by sharing her own journey through divorce and the hurdles she endured through the process, and she offers tips to help those experiencing the same issues in their own lives. Lisa welcomes everyone to her blog which she calls – The Divorce Support Party. Lisa also shares some of her intimate stories on her blog to inspire others with lessons learned and offers a wealth of information on topics on common divorce issues. She also has a series on her blog entitled The Wine Diaries where she shares intimate thoughts about situations she’s encountered and shares her thoughts with a bottle of wine, of course!

 

Lisa Thompson

 

About Lisa:

I graduated from the University of Alberta in 1990.  I was married for 18 years and was a stay at home mom after the birth of my daughter.  After my separation and trying to put my life back together, I returned to the University’s ‘Faculty of Extension’ and pursued a certificate in Residential Interiors. I live in Vancouver, B.C. Canada, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

I am a  Huffington Post  blogger and Featured Columnist for  Divorced Moms. I am currently in the editing phase of my soon to be released short story collection The Icing On The Cake. It’s all about love; finding it, losing it and trying to figure out this complex thing we call relationships. Stay tuned for release date.

I’ve been interviewed around the web.  If you want to know more about me and my book check out First Wives World and this interview with CBC Radio.

Motto I live by: “Happiness is found in the people in your life, not the things in your life.”

 

The Great Escape by Lisa Thompson

Get this book on Amazon

 

Blurb:

The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage is not only a thought provoking, intimate account about how one woman left her marriage, but it’s an informative, self-help guide for women either contemplating or going through the divorce process right now. Ms Thomson gives honest advice and tips on related topics including; making the decision, parenting, legal issues, finances as well as the social changes to expect. If you are thinking about ending your marriage, this book is a must read.

 

Lisa Thompson - The Great Escape Blog

Get this book on Amazon

 

Blurb:

A Divorce Companion promises to be the compassionate friend you need during your divorce journey. It is the compilation of the very best and most popular blog posts written over the last five years at The Great Escape Divorce Support blog. Edited and organized for easy navigation, the book covers diverse topics from narcissism and co-parenting to sex, finances and lawyers. As well, it is filled with personal stories that will resonate with any reader navigating their own divorce journey. It is complementary to the original book by Ms. Thomson, The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage.

 

Now let’s get to know a little bit more about Lisa and her writing!

 

I love that your blog isn’t specifically just for people of divorce, but much about what you post encompasses problems we may all encounter in our relationships on a variety of topics from character flaws, to reasons to be grateful, and finding the humor. Do you find your audience is a mix of male and female or mostly attracts women?

 

Thank you, Debby. I do try to encompass healing topics that may apply to not only divorce, but other life stresses. On the whole, my blog readers are female. I have a few male readers that remain quiet ?

 

 

What inspired you to want to share your journey through your divorce?

 

Great question. The primary inspiration was my difficulty in finding real stories, resources and books that spoke to me when I initiated my divorce. Because my divorce didn’t unfold the way I imagined (I don’t think anyone’s does), I searched for self help books that just didn’t exist. I wanted to hear it from women who’d “been there”, not from Dr. Phil.

So, I began writing a book based on my own difficulties and challenges of my divorce, to share an honest experience. In addition, I aimed to provide solutions to those common difficulties. Of course, this was in 2008 and blogs were not nearly as common as they are now. Divorce blogs essentially were non-existent.

My book came from the ashes of my journal, so to speak. In the early stages of my divorce I kept a journal to channel my frustration, outrage, pain, doubts, and the overall changes my divorce caused in my life.

I took excerpts from those early writings and put them into relevant chapters of my book. I really wanted to express the “real” experience, rather than write a sugar-coated divorce book.

 

 

You offer a section on your blog titled ‘Divorce Articles’. What type of helpful articles can we expect to find on those pages?

 

The ‘Divorce Articles’ is a section of my website where I share specific how-to’s regarding legal aspects of divorce. For example, I share a step by step process to attaining a child support order. I even share an example of an affidavit. I also share an article about weighing the pros and cons of self representation in court, and what to think about before deciding to go it alone. The articles also elaborate on my personal legal experiences in my divorce.

 

 

I know you also have a following on Youtube where you share segments on topics you write about. And I’ve noticed you have readers that write to you, sort of like a ‘Dear Abby’ column. Do you ever encounter any male readers who protest about some of the things you write about?

 

My youtube channel has a large following and interestingly, I have not promoted it one bit. Specifically, my video on Parental Alienation has been the most watched. Indeed, many negative comments have been posted by men. They want to make the issue of PA into a gender based war. It is not. Men and women (moms and dads) are equally vulnerable to being targeted by an ex for this terrible syndrome. Not to elaborate on the topic here, Deb, but just to give a general definition for those who have never heard of it, Parental Alienation is when a parent alienates their children from their other parent. It is more common during divorce. Although, in intact families there can be subtle alienation. It usually occurs when one parent is unstable, insecure and may suffer from a personality disorder.

 

What can we expect to learn from your first book – The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage?

 

Basically, a woman who has been a stay-at-home wife and mother can learn what steps to take to end an unhappy or abusive marriage. She will learn how to get back on her own two feet and take the necessary steps to navigate a healthy divorce.

Topics range from financial management, how to hire a lawyer, legal terms to know, co-parenting tips, signs of Parental Alienation, social changes to expect, and finally, how to move on.

 

Your second book, A Divorce Companion contains edited versions of some of your most informative blogposts. What inspired that idea?

 

Well, one day I realized just how much writing I had accumulated on my blog over a four year time period. My most popular blog posts were just sitting there, kind of buried on my site. I thought, why not put all of these posts together into relevant sub-topics and create a new book?

So, that’s exactly what I did. It was a fairly laborious process though. You would think it would be simple because the writing had already been done. However, I had to edit out images, slang, any typos, to make it a cohesive, smooth read.

I think I succeeded though, in creating an e-book that truly reads as a companion for anyone navigating a divorce.

 

Please tell us about your newest upcoming book, Lost Hearts. Is that a novel or a self-help guide? Fiction or nonfiction?

 

Lost Hearts is a collection of short stories. The inspiration behind the story collection is losing love and finding it again. A universal theme, I believe, especially as we go through our life’s journey. This collection really resonates with hope, and the fact that in spite of our circumstances, we are capable of rising above the ruins of lost love, to find it once again.

I’ve always enjoyed reading a short story collection myself and hope my readers will enjoy the variety of characters, plot and settings in each one. They’re great for when you’re on the go and don’t have the time to immerse yourself into a full-on novel.

I hope this quote piques the reader’s interest:

“What do a young wife, a cheating spouse, and a widow have in common? Lost hearts. Will they be found again?”

 

 

Please share an excerpt of any one of your two published books, or from your upcoming book, your choice.

 

From my upcoming book, the short story titled “New York Dreams” (warning: this story deals with domestic violence);

 

…Jack’s lips tightened, the corners turned down.  This had the effect of showing his age. Another reason, Kora thought, he wasn’t snagging the prime acting roles as frequently as he once had. He turned to the bar table and refilled his glass.  Kora turned to go into the kitchen.  She had to create some distance and figure out how to deal with him.  She took a deep breath. She knew now, she was in grave danger. Put your cell phone in your pocket, a voice said.  Do it now! 

“Don’t you walk away from me.” He followed her into the kitchen.  She quickly grabbed her handbag that she always kept on the desk in the kitchen.  She blindly stuffed her hand in and felt for her cell phone, while keeping an eye on Jack.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He reached out to grab her purse and missed.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Kora turned her back on him with false confidence and held her hand bag safely to her chest.

“Like Hell you are.”  He reached for her hair and missed. She walked down the hall.  Don’t react yet.  Stay calm. Stay brave.

She quickened her step at the end of the hall and quickly shut and locked the bathroom door.  Think.  She had to figure out how to get Jacqueline out with her, safely. It might not happen tonight. You might have to wait.  “I can’t.” She muttered under her breath.  Kora knew in an instant the risk of leaving was less than the danger of staying one more night. The alcohol fueled Jack’s volatility and there was no guarantee Jacqueline would be unscathed by his wrath. He hadn’t harmed her in any way before, but Kora could feel in her bones, he was escalating, just as Alice warned her he would.

She took her cell phone out and put it in her bra.  She took ID, cash and credit cards out of her billfold in case he took her handbag away from her. Keys! Get your keys! “Yes”.  Luckily her key ring was limited to a few important keys; the apartment, the building entrance and her mailbox…with her hands shaking she put her keys in her sock, the doorknob rattled.  Bang, bang, bang on the door. His fist came down hard and furious.  She flushed the toilet.  She stole a moment to think but the thoughts stopped coming.  She started to shake from the inside out.  She had to gain control or he would take over. Think fast.

God, no. The fog was coming. Should she put on a brave face or cower like a child?  Which persona would make him angrier than he already was? Bang, Bang, Bang.

“Get the fuck outta there! I’m talking to you! Fuckin’ bitch.  Show your face.” Kora could feel his angry energy through the bathroom door. She could hear him breathing. 

“Are you afraid?”  He asked.

She tried to control her shaking. Silence. Breathing. BAM. She thought his fist would come right through.  This was like out of a movie, not real life Kora thought. This can’t be happening. She heard Jack cursing and the door knob wiggled again. He was trying to pick the lock.”…

 

Deb, thank you so much for having me over to your blog. I always enjoy talking about my writing and appreciate this opportunity to share my work!

 

Lis, it was an absolute pleasure having you over today. Your writing is so insightful and although you talk about issues that aren’t always pretty, they are important and unfortunately, so relevant to so many people who live through stressful relationships today. It’s no surprise your books are inspiring to so many. And I look forward to your newest book, especially after that excerpt, which really hit home with me.

 

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Blog:  LisaThomsonLive.com

 

The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage http://amzn.to/2xPnK3M

A Divorce Companion http://amzn.to/2pZrNlB

 

 

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