Every once in a long while I love to share some new reviews my books have received. So please consider this author Friday feature, my own shameless promotion. LOL. It’s the positive reviews we receive for our work that reinforce our sometimes doubting selves that our words do help to make a difference.
July 25, 2019
Forced to grow up as a child substituting for her mother (including cooking, housework, and the care of her 3 younger siblings), the author learned to cope with the selfishness of her self-absorbed mother by tuning out her own needs, especially her need for a mother’s love and affection.
I was glad her Aunt Sherry was there for her, though she was really the only adult who seemed to care. All the other adults in her life were emotionally absent.
The author moves into the difficulties of adulthood confused and guilt-ridden but learns, even in the midst of illness and heartbreak how to love herself and to “climb life’s peaks and prevail”.
I highly recommend this book; especially for anyone struggling with the wounds of a fractured past.
P.S. I Forgive You
July 13, 2019
My month of memoirs continues with an autobiography by D. G. Kaye — ‘P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy.’ Although not quite a series, this is the second book by the author as she explores the impact of a narcissistic mother on her daily life. I read this before bed last night, and all I can say is that some people are dealt a very unfair hand in life. That said, it’s amazing to see how wonderful Kaye is handling all that she went through in the last ~50 years. What a great (but painful) read!
Imagine growing up with a mother who seems to intentionally cause pain for her children. The oldest of four, Kaye spent years letting the woman treat her horribly. In this introspective and emotional autobiography, we learn how and why she tolerated it. The memoir kicks off by letting readers know that the author’s mother has passed away, and this is the story of how she handled the decision whether to be there when the woman crossed over. Sick for many years, touch and go at times, it seems like every possible painful opportunity was taken to cause trouble for this family. It was heartbreaking not just because of what they went through but because you really want this to turn out to be a positive story.
In some ways, it does turn out that way… in death, you are often released from the troubles of the past. Not quickly. Not immediately. Not entirely. Kaye suffers to this day because of the trauma she went through. Emotional pain can be far worse and impacting that physical pain. Seeing how the author connects with her siblings and her aunt helps provide a sense of love and hope for her future. Kaye has a phenomenal way of sharing her past with readers… we feel as if we are there, but one thing is for sure — we were not. That… is fantastic writing.
There is a cathartic honesty in her writing style as well as how she processes the events of her life. On the outskirts, it might seem simple: (A) She’s your mother, you should stay and respect her, or (B) She’s been evil and nasty, you need to run away and forget her. Nope… Kaye fully provides the wide spectrum of all the scenarios that ran through her head, some positive and some not-so-positive. How do you make such a decision? Only a strong person can thoroughly see through the minutia to determine what’s best for both the victim and the victimizer (I might’ve made that work up).
If I could reach through a book to hug someone, this would be the prime one for it to happen. I’ve felt these emotions tons of times before when an author creates a character who suffers… but when a real-life woman shares the truth and the pain she’s gone through, it’s a whole different ball game. If you have a high threshold for reading about someone’s emotional suffering, I suggest you take this book on… it might give you the perspective you need to help others.
Have Bags, Will Travel
July 30, 2019
I read Debbie’s book, Conflicted Hearts, several years ago and I was awed by the authencity, and the heart rendering story. It is very difficult to be a child with an narrcisstic parent, especially a mother who also appeared to have other problems emotionally as well. I really related to her story in her book, Conflicted Hearts, as my father was also a narrcisstic person and as a child, it was very difficult to understand and heartbreaking as well. I have always kept Debbie’s book in mind when I think about what she endured as I related to it so much in her book Conflicted Hearts. Her title really says it all, because that is what you really feel, so conflicted. It is truly a wonderful book to read and I highly recommend it whether or not you have experienced a parent with that emotional disorder. I learned so much and gathered in myself a greater and more forgiving feeling toward my father, whom I loved anyway and I give that credit and understanding of my father to Debbie and her so insightful and actually healing book, Conflicted Hearts.