For those of you who haven’t heard, my beloved husband, Puppy, has left his suffering and me behind. He passed with me by his side on Wednesday, April 7th, and I buried him Friday, April 9th.
I’d managed to leave him Monday for a short time to run out and purchase our plots – and fulfilled his wish of being buried together one day. Then dashed home quickly, as I knew he was on days – possibly hours. I’ve been living in a fog ever since, just going through the motions, orchestrating the miniscule funeral service of only 15 allowed, thanks to the never-ending Covid that permanently resides in our city. Gratefully, we were allowed up to 50 at the burial service, but that didn’t make it any more comforting.
My husband was a great man, not just because I thought so, but because of every single person who knew him will tell you the same. He spent over half a century in the automotive business, and so many knew and respected him. I wish some of the many could have been at the service to speak more about this gentle giant of a man who really only stood 5′ 6″ tall. Again, Covid has taken so much away from his final parting, as it has for so very many people globally.
I can’t say a lot more right now, as my heart is scattered in just too many pieces. But I wanted to let you all know, as so many of you have been so loving and supportive through this horrendous journey of loss with me through messages, calls, cards and more. Your support has meant the world to me, so please know that.
As with what comes along with my loss, are the many legal issues to be taken care of in this upcoming week – banks, investments, government, insurance, and more. Not to mention, I must complete income taxes. Not a pretty week ahead, then once I get all the paperwork done, I’ll begin cleaning out ‘our life’ accumulations and allow myself to grieve properly because I must continue to be stoic and keep my head in the game, and once I let myself fall apart, who knows when I will begin to rise again.
I do hope to be getting back to blogland in another week or so, once the must do’s are done. In the meantime, I’m going to share here what I posted on FB when he passed:
My heart is crushed for the passing of my Puppy. Covid restrictions have made this horrendous event even worse with only allowing 15 people at the funeral service that I know would have brought hundreds as he was loved by all who knew him. He was in the car business for over 50 years and respected and known by many in the industry. I will mourn in Shiva til Monday night at home with visitors coming by appointment, instead of the usual open door to any and all who wish to visit.
I have requested that any donations please be made to North York General Hospital palliative care unit, the doctors and nurses have been so wonderful to my husband for the past several years. Special mention to Dr. David Baron and his assistant Lisa, who went to bat for us many times over to get my husband into the hospital during Covid regulations, and to enable me to visit my husband every day he was in hospital for a few hours, despite the Covid rules of only 2 hours a week! Thank you to the LHIN health care and VHA provided by wonderful compassionate people with their staff and services. And thank you all for your most heartfelt condolences through messages and emails. And I promise when I catch my breath, I will return calls and reply.
I keep them by your beside – for now.
I’m not ready to remove them, just as I was not ready for your removal from my life.
115 thoughts on “Flying Solo – Goodbye – Announcement”
Dear Debby, I’ve never been married, so I won’t tell you I know what you’re going through, although I’ve seen my mother go through the same (my parents had been married for over 50 years), and I know what a huge toll it took on her health (physical and mental), so make sure to take your time, and to try to take it slowly. I know many of us wish we could be nearer and circumstances were different (as you say, with COVID-19 even those who are close by are limited in what they can do), but… Here we are, virtually and spiritually.
You never left your husband’s side and fought for him till the end, and I’m sure he is sending you all his love from up there.
Love and hugs, and all the best from my mother as well. ♥
Thank you for your beautiful words Olga. Certainly, this is the most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, and Covid is certainly making everything that much more difficult. Words escape me where feelings of anguish live within. They say it’s a process, but nobody knows how shattered a heart can be unless they’ve walked the walk. Thank you for your love and support. ❤
I am so very sorry to hear of your husband’s passing Debby. You wrote such a poignant, painful, real tribute to him and to your love. Someone’s comment referenced signs, and I 1000% believe in them. You will see the sign(s) too when it appears because fate will position you exactly where you need to be to do so. (I have always found that concept to be comforting.) Please know I’m thinking of you and sending my deepest condolences to you at this time.
Thank you so much Melanie, for your words of comfort and strength. I am already very much looking forward to signs. ❤
Sending you the warmest hugs, Debby. Once again, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, and my heart goes out to you. Over the years that I’ve known you, every single time you’ve mentioned your husband, your words have been full of love. He was a lucky man, and you were lucky to have him. Take care, my friend. Hugs.
Thanks for your kind words Diana. I was blessed to have him, my soulmate, my best supporter, my love. ❤
My heart hurts for you Debby. I cannot imagine what it is like for you right now. Your Puppy and you were magical. Much love x You honor him so well with your tribute in the other post. Sending much love, always.
Thank you my sweet friend. ❤