Welcome to my September edition of Realms of Relationships at Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Magazine that I contribute to monthly. There are many kinds of relatioships, but often, we forget about the one with ourselves.
Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – September 2021 – The Relationship with Ourselves -Self-Care
Relationships with ourselves – Self-Care
Welcome to my Realms of Relationships column at Smorgasbord Blog Magazine. Today I want to talk about the most important relationship we can have, and that’s the one we have with ourselves. It’s often easy to overlook ourselves, especially when times are tense, fast, and frazzled with life’s daily grind. And if we have loved ones to care for on top of daily living, often, the last person being served is usually ourselves.
I’m a living testament of what self-neglect can leave behind as resulting damage. Often, we get so wrapped up in our lives and lose track of time – the time we let ourselves go. So yes, self-compassion and self-care are just as essential for us to live in good health – not just to survive.
Sometimes, some of the most nurturing people forget that taking care of others requires us to be in good health in order to care of someone else. But often in the middle of trauma, our focus often falls on the loved one we’re caring for – both young and old, without giving a second thought for our own well-being. I know this because I lived it.
Self- care encompasses the daily things we do for ourselves to keep our health in check – hygiene, eating properly, taking meds and required vitamins, and getting in exercise and enough sleep. Most importantly, any ailments we feel coming on should be dealt with as soon as possible once we notice things aren’t running as smoothly with our bodies, and not left to fester until such time we decide to stop pushing aside things a doctor needs to have a look at. And then there is emotional health.
If we are living through a stressful time, not just our physical health needs tending to, but, we need an outlet to relieve some of the mental angst that can sometimes translate to more physical ailments. Trust me, it’s not a myth, stress and worry have the ability to do great damage within us. Just like a health regimen followed daily creates cumulative benefits that add up daily, not following one will most certainly chip away at all the goodness we’ve already accrued through time as we continue to neglect ourselves.
Taking care of ourselves is vital for us to function optimally, but especially when someone else is relying on us to take care of them. When chaos or trauma strike, it shouldn’t mean that we abandon what’s important for us to remain in good health, but so often we’ll sacrifice what’s good for us and put others before us. Here’s what we need to know about taking care of ourselves:
- Make sure to get enough sleep – not getting enough sleep can initiate other health problems.
- Make mealtime a routine at least twice a day if you can’t manage three squares. If you eat a good breakfast it can sustain you through the day in case you do happen to miss out on lunch. But even more important to eat a healthy dinner, especially if we’re missing that lunch.
- Don’t stop taking important vitamins and supplements, especially if you’re deficient in them. Not eating properly during stressful times, then not taking supplementation, doubles the drain on our bodies leaving us without efficient fuel or nutrients.
- Take a timeout and go for a walk, read a chapter, listen to music – whatever you enjoy for a mental health break from high stressed life. If you’re caring for someone 24/7, arrange for someone to come by and give you a break for some down time and time to get household essentials looked after, and maybe even to eke out some personal time.
You can take this Self Well-Being test here to see how you’re doing: Berkeley Wellbeing Survey
How I can attest to this advice? Because I became one of those self-neglecters.
During my husband’s illness when I was caring for him 24/7, the last thing on my mind was about what I needed. While my world was spiraling out of sense, I didn’t care about eating properly, sometimes not eating at all. I had no appetite. I’d sneak in a shower when my husband would sleep, or if one of his personal support workers were bathing him.
I was full of preliminary grief and anxiety, and I wasn’t hungry. . . Please continue reading at Sally’s Smorgasbord to learn the repercussions after we forget to take care of ourselves.
©DGKaye2021
DGKayewriter.com 
Thanks for boosting the column Debby.. so many have found a great reminder that self care is just as important as caring for others…hugs ♥
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Thank you Sal. And I’m so glad the column was well received. Nothing better than sharing my own developments as proof in the pudding! ❤ xox
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I’ve been guilty of this too, Debby. It’s easy to take on the care of someone else and forget to care for our own needs. I always knew that I was working too hard, but it took retirement to admit what a workaholic I’d become. Never again. It’s not selfish to take care of ourselves first. If we don’t, then we have nothing left to give to those who need our help.
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You are so right Pete. And sadly, we all think we’re invinscible. Everything catches up. 🙂
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I am so happy to hear that you have been to address some of your health issues and that soon enough you will have established a new routine where taking care of yourself is a key priority once again…
This reminds me of a favorite quote of mine: Do not judge me by the heights that I have achieved, but by the depths from which I have risen…
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Thanks so much Jim, for visiting and leaving your thoughts. I do love that quote. It’s also humbling. 🙂
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This was a fabulous article, Debby – a timely reminder of just how essential self-care is, and I’m so pleased your own self-care is getting back on track. Loving hugs to you, Toni x
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Thank you Toni. I’ve had a battery of tests and the big scary one comes next week. Of course I’ll be updating. Thanks for the love my friend. ❤ xx
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Nurturing-type people are especially vulnerable to neglecting aspects of self-care. I have learned to monitor myself, health-wise and above-all, limit my intake of news, which lately has been especially horrible.
What’s true: I am in charge of how I live my life, with God’s almighty help, of course.
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Happy to hear you have the right attitude Marian. ❤
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Good reminders, Deb! I will say, my husband takes excellent care of me. And my childrend!
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Stay blessed! 🙂
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Self care is so difficult when someone we love desperately needs us. I’m not surprised that your routines faltered in light of the stress and heartbreak, Debby. We do need to take care of ourselves in order to be there for others, but it’s so hard. I suppose the good thing is that we can return to nurturing our physical and mental health when we’re ready. Thanks for sharing this important topic. Hugs
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Thanks Diana. I think one better, don’t forget to take care of ourselves – at least vitamins and supplements to compensate with stress and disorderly eating patterns. 🙂 xx
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All very true and you have the proof of it! I hope you have found your way back to the self-care you are cautioning all of us to not omit. Your more frequent appearances suggests that is so. 🙂
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I’m working on it John. Still have a big test to go through later next week. 🙂
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Very wise advice, Debby. We often forget that we should keep in mind the Oxygen mask advice. You need to put yours on first before you can help others. But it is often easier to just keep going, keep busy, and run oneself into the ground. Thanks for the timely reminder, and do take care. ♥
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Thanks so much Olga. So true, but when one is a caregiver, especially to our own loved one, I think it’s human nature not to stop and think but to keep going. I hope my post reminds to not forget about ourselves because there are consequences. ❤ Hugs
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This is great advice, Debby. Popping over to Sally’s to read the rest.
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Thanks so much for reading Norah. So glad you found it helpful ❤
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Thank you for being willing to share your experiences of the importance of self-care, Debby. It can be hard to remember that you can’t fill other people’s cups when your own is empty.
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So true Amy, yet, when up against a rock and a hard place, we so often forget ourselves and keep on plowing through. ❤
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I left a comment on Sally’s blog… Please, let us know how you’re doing whenever you can! XOX
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Thank you my lovely friend. Had the test done yesterday. I have to wait 3 weeks to speak with doc for results. When I know, you will. ❤
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