Like many things, our intentions don’t always come to fruition.
I know for months now I’ve been talking about my plans to go the U.K. as I anxiously awaited the arrival of my bestie to get here for a visit and my plans to fly back to the U.K. with her after. But sometimes plans change, and in my case, I’ve rearranged my plans and wanted to update you here, especially since I’ve chatted about my plans with several of my British and European friends in anticipation of meeting up with some of you.
So why the change of heart?
After losing my husband in April then moving in June, exhausted both mentally and physically, and full of grief, the only thing I wanted to do was to jump on a plane and get the hell out of Dodge. But Covid restrictions hampered those plans. Our airports didn’t open up to foreign travelers until early fall, and that kept my friend from getting here until late October. She will be leaving back for the U.K. without me, later this week. Besides the fact that U.K. is experiencing higher Covid numbers again, and that my intentions of staying in U.K/Europe for a good month or two would have had to have been cut shorter because it’s so late in the year already, the upcoming holidays, and my having to prepare for my winter vacation in Mexico beginning late January, my husband’s gravestone is not yet erected and I’ve been anxiously awaiting that to happen so I can plan a celebration of life gathering for him with our friends because he was ripped off of a proper large funeral gathering at the time of his passing.
I’m feeling very unsettled about the headstone going up without my being around to acknowledge it and my plans for a small gathering to honor my husband’s life once the stone goes up. It seems that even headstones are in delay due to the Covid. So with all those factors rolled into one, I decided it’s best for me not to take off right now. I can’t even believe that in two months I’ll be on my way back to Puerto Vallarta!
I’m already dreading the holidays here and wishing away December. But I’m very much looking forward to a winter escape to a familiar place where I can somehow still feel like my husband’s spirit will be with me. As a newly minted widow, the thought of going anywhere else this winter gave me anxiety with first time being alone again traveling after a quarter century of traveling as a couple. But I decided to go back to PV and stay at the same location as we always did because we have many Canadian snowbird friends who stay at the same location annually, and at this time in my life I’m grateful for the familiarity I will be in and I won’t be alone there. I’ll have friends to gab with at the pool and to join up with for outings. I’ll also be having a few of my friends from home come down for a stay, so I should be quite comfortable back in PV in the land of wonderful people, sunshine, the ocean and beautiful sunsets. And I will have new plans come next spring for visiting both the U.K. and Europe. So just know my friends, I will get there. And hopefully by then, the Covid will be less of a worry, and I’ll be traveling in a warmer season.
©DGKaye2021
DGKayewriter.com 
Sorry to read you won’t be coming to the UK. I was looking forward to meeting up, but hopefully in the Spring? xx
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Thanks Stevie, but yes, it just got too late. It will be better next spring. I’ll give you plenty of notice lol 🙂 xx
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Hola Debs, So sad that I won’t see you in November/December, after all, BUT – such a handy, hopeful little word – when the worrying Covid period eases and the weather is kinder, you will be able to complete your travels to the UK and Spain. Everything crossed! Meanwhile, it’s great that you will be going to Mexico again. I’m sure it will do you a heap of good. And, remember, you’ll always have your husband in your heart. Take care. Hugs xx
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Thank you my Lovely Joy. The time didn’t work out, but I’m sure next year will de divine timing. ❤
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Probably a good decision. You will get here when you get here. I look forward to seeing you next year. Mexico will be good for you. Sending many hugs. Xo
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Thanks Darlene. I’ll give you plenty of warning. 🙂
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Hi Debby – I think you’re making the right decision – it’s exhausting travelling overseas … and in a while you’ll feel more able to travel and perhaps this dreaded ‘thing’ will have diminished considerably. I must say a holiday in Puerto Valletta sounds just wonderful – but I’ll sit it out down here on our sunshine (?) coast!
I hope your plans for your husband’s gravestone and that you can have that Celebration of Life commemoration for him before you go down south. With thoughts – Hilary
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Thank you Hilary for your lovely wishes. I’m praying to have that stone all sewed up before the new year, for a little peace of mind. ❤
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Too many unsettling things are going on in your life right now. Having a proper Celebration of Life has to be weighing on your mind heavily. Though Covid is obviously a factor, too, I have a feeling you’ll be more ready to travel after you hold that and take care of the headstone. So many other things in our lives have been turned upside down because of Covid, and having a proper way to say goodbye is one.
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You said it Pete. My brain needs the closure of lifting some of the weight first. ❤
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As I read this post, one steadying thought emerged for you: “All in good time, all in good time.” I’m happy to hear you will return to Puerto Vallarta even though you will anticipate UK visits and other destinations next year. Hugs! 😀
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Exactly Marian – all in good time. The universe will guide me. ❤
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Puerto Vallarta sounds like the perfect plan Debby. It has what you need and I hope you continue the tradition for years to come. Two months is going to go quickly! I am excited for you. 🙂 Europe will happen for you too. I’m sure it will be worth the wait.
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Thanks Melanie for the good wishes. Yes, no point rushing a holiday for another. I want to savor each trip. Hugs xx
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I think that winter escape to Puerto Vallarta sounds perfect for you, Debby. Later, when Covid is done and dusted, you’ll be in a much better frame of mind to go to the UK. love, Toni x
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Thanks Toni. I agree. I don’t want to have a rushed trip either, so I’ll wait a little longer. ❤
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You are doing what you must, Deb, and you’re where many of us ladies will end up at some point in our lives. I hope you write a book on ‘widowing’ so I can read it when my day comes. Hugs to you.
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Thank you my friend. You better believe there will be a book. I’ve yet to start writing an actual book – too soon. But let’s just say I’ve been writing since my husband’s passing in a document with over 20K words already! ❤
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It all makes perfect sense, Deb. We make plans and then change them, and there’s never a need to explain. Although now we’ll stop pestering you about your trip to Europe! Covid has been a total nightmare and sadly it’s not over yet, and of course you want to be home when your dear husband’s gravestone is placed. That seems natural and important. And PV will be wonderful. Now that’s a trip I hope you can make. Hugs ❤ ❤
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Thanks so much Diana. And yes, the hot Mexican sun is definitely somewhere I hope to be to escape some of the winter’s cold for sure. Hopefully, things will calm down in the world of Covid by the spring. ❤
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It makes heart sense, my love and I am not surprised to hear this. Your instinct is sound and you are following it. Everything is in its own good time for you and this feels right. I love you, my UB, always. You are lovely. ❤ Xxx ❤ ❤
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Thank you so much for your confirmation Jane. We’ll just have to wait a bit longer to connect. ❤ Love and hugs UB xoxox ❤
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Yup, know all about those forced changes of plans for going on two years now! Lots of adjustments STILL going on. We did have a very brief getaway for a few days this week. I’ll get some details up on Views shortly.
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Oh good for you John. I look forward to reading about it. 🙂
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Another consideration is the weather, Debby which is grey, rainy and cold at this time of year. Mexico sounds warmer and more fun.
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Exactly Robbie! It’s been a longgggggggg time since I’ve had more than an hour’s sun 🙂 x
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Personally, I think you’ve made a good choice. Sometimes, we have to slow ourselves down; otherwise, we could crash and burn and regret having not taken more time to think things through.
It’s good to hear you’re still going to Mexico and that many friends will be there with you. I’d hate the thought of you going somewhere where you’re all alone. Knowing how much you like the sun and hot weather, I know it’ll do wonders for you both physically and mentally.
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Thanks so much Hugh. Yes, I feel it’s best this way. And you’re right. I’m going back to our usual place this winter because it’s familiar and we have friends there. I am not ready to venture anywhere yet where I am literally, on my own. And Eu/UK will be there for me to visit early next summer. ❤
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In grieving, the firsts are always difficult so it’s no wonder that you are dreading the holidays but the only way through is through. I’m happy for you that you are going to Mexico where you will be surrounded by friends. That will surely be comforting and healing. ❤
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Thanks so much Carol. It surely has been a year of firsts and the hits keep on coming. I’m focused on Mexico now and Christmas has already passed for me. ❤
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It all makes sense, my friend. With all you have been through and the surge in the pandemic you have made a wise decision. We are–and we aren’t eager to go somewhere. We did do a brief getaway within our own state. That’s it until late spring. We too are looking at the twice postponed trip to Northern Ireland. Iceland and Norway will be separate trips–probably in subsequent years, unless the whole world suddenly becomes free of COVID-19.
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Maybe you two should take an island holiday til the world calms down? Europe isn’t looking too appealing at the moment.
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Sounds to me like getting away to PV will be really good for you. The UK will still be here when you are ready to visit, and hopefully Covid disruption will have dwindled by then. I hope the headstone turns up soon, and puts your mind and spirit more at rest ❤
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Thanks Deb. I’m hoping for all you said. ❤
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You’re going where spirit is leading you, Deb. That’s always the right path in any given moment. As the illusion of time passes, your mind will clear and your heart wlll lighten. In this moment, however, take solace in knowing you you are loved and not alone ❤️❤️
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Thank you for that lovely forecast T ❤
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You seem to have made good decisions with your planning, Debby. I understand your need to get beyond the holiday season. Your holiday in PV will be welcome, I’m sure with all the available support. Like you, I’d prefer the familiar over adventure at this stage. Keep well. Stay strong. Be kind to yourself. 💖
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Thanks Norah. I feel confident in my decision ❤
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