D.G. Kaye on Relationships

Realms of Relationships with D.G. Kaye – Wrapping up the Year in #Covid – Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Published on by dgkaye

Realms of Relationships – Wrapping up the Year and Covid Lingering Effects

Welcome to my Realms of Relationships post finale for 2021. I hope you all have been enjoying my articles where I share some of own experiences about different types of relationships. Next year I’ll be back with my travel columns and later in the year I’ll be back with more relationship talk, and maybe even something new! Today I’m sharing this post here I originally wrote for my monthly column over at Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Magazine.

In this edition, I want to talk about relationships that have been altered or have taken on new awakenings through the global pandemic we’ve all been living through for almost two years now.

Once all the lockdowns began, life as everyone knew it changed. Suddenly, moms and dads are working at home, trying to get their jobs done as they had to adapt to helping school their kids digitally – a feat in itself for the technically challenged.

How we’re affected by the ages:

Many couples forced to spend more time together during lockdown discovered they loved and missed going to work to get out of the house to avoid 24/7 with a partner, while some other relationships were strengthened in that time as many re-discovered, reconnected, and re-evaluated their relationships. Some friendships were strengthened, while some others were let go of as realizations and evaluations of our lives took place when we were restricted from seeing anyone. So many were affected from quarantine conditions from unemployment adding financial strains, dealing with sick and dying loved ones, disrupted homelife, home schooling and growing mental illnesses because of forced conditions having created havoc in so many people’s lives. Many statistics have been cited about the increase of divorce enquiries and proceedings. I also must make mention of the many stranded at home stuck in abusive relationships with no escape.

Young children are equally affected at differing crucial stages of their learning, as well as hampered social skills while not being able to play or interact in person with others. Many young children and toddlers missing crucial interacting at nursery schools and play dates spending two of their earliest years either missing social interaction – where they learn to socialize by playing and learning together with other children, while others too young to realize the way they are growing up in their earliest years at home isn’t situation normal.

Middle-grade and teenaged kids were desperately missing social interaction. As they craved their usual activities with friends at a time of exploration of the world at their curious ages, suddenly having their ‘regular’ lives ripped out from them stuck at home with family in their new constricted lives, have had to find ways to adapt. How many suicides do we even imagine have occurred because of the mental disruption of their lives?

The elderly have had to endure not only extra lonely times with aching hearts as their loved ones ached with the worry for them, but many of the elderly who rely on the help and visits from others were devastatingly left out in the cold. The long, lonely hours of being alone became so much more profound for both the sick and the agile – those that require daily visits for care, and those denied the ability for visitations from loved ones. Yes, digital apps helped to connect some and not others, became the backup for visual virtual visits, but there is no substitute for a real human visit where we can look into someone’s eyes and feel the love, a touch, a hug, and human physical compassion, and this missing of human interaction left a gaping hole in the hearts of too many.

The sick who couldn’t get proper medical attention and consequently dying before their time – like my husband, who died BECAUSE of the Covid epidemic halting regular doctor visits and no way to get into a hospital unless there was an evident and immediate emergency. Those that actually feared going to a hospital for serious ailments because they were afraid they’d catch the Covid inside the hospital. The undiagnosed cancers, deeming treatment too late – LIKE my husband. The strokes and heart attacks people died from because they refused to go to hospitals during Covid. The delayed testing for the so many with yet to have diagnosis that did and will ultimately end these people’s lives earlier than would have pre-pandemic. And the list goes on and on.

I know what I write of is merely touching on the tip of the icebergs as so many in the world have suffered losses – loss of lives, sickness, and financial draining. These devastations in all our lives in some way or another have become the rude awakenings for us, and worse for many more.

Realizations. This pandemic gave us all a time for reflection and reckoning, a look around, and insight as to who’s caring about us? I know I’ve certainly had startling revelations myself after losing my husband seven months ago and discovering that my own family (save for two) doesn’t have the time of day for me, as well as discovering that my husband’s family were just that – my husband’s family. This rude awakening for me just brought me back to Maya Angelou’s famous quote: “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

What I’ve learned during this pandemic: Keep your circles small and tight. It’s all about the quality of the people in our lives, not the quantity. And friends are the family we choose.

If anyone here would like to share some of your own awakenings and discoveries you’ve had through these trying times, please feel free to share.

Let us all pray for a better year globally, the sick to heal, the virus to die, and peace, love, and brotherhood to return to mankind.

Below are links to just a few articles on how the pandemic has wreaked havoc on many relationships:

Covid – Divorce Rates

BBC – Spikes in Break ups and Divorces

This article was originally posted on Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

©DGKaye2021

44 thoughts on “Realms of Relationships with D.G. Kaye – Wrapping up the Year in #Covid – Smorgasbord Blog Magazine”

  1. Sam’s brother-in-law couldn’t get a GP visit during Lockdown, and so put off going to the doctor’s until they were seeing patients again. Unfortunately the upshot of this was that he is now dying of pancreatic cancer at only 68. There’s now also the problem of 6 million patients awaiting treatment on the NHS waiting list. x

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    1. That is exactly what happened to my husband, and pancreatic cancer. I heard on our news the other day that there are just so many bereaved people this year that mental health help won’t be able to keep up. No surprise!!!!! I said it a year ago, the fallout will come hard after over a year of nobody allowed to see their doctors or be sent for hospital testing. 😦 😦 xx

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      2. Arg Stevie, our numbers are up too. We’ve been strict here, masks always required and vaxxed over 80% in our country, yet? I truly believe that some people who’ve been vaxxed think they’re invincible. Many vaxxed still get this virus and spread unknowingly. x

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      4. Nobody is immune, even with vaxes. That’s the problem, people think they are. Vaxxing lessens our chances of contracting, and if we do, supposed to not kill us. I’ve heard of many double vaxxed and boosted here who still caught the virus, but it was like a 2 day cold. Also, many caught it without symptoms, so they don’t know they can pass it if not wearing masks. It’s a nightmare really. 😦 x

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  2. Thanks, Debby. I know this has been a particularly hard time for you, so thank you for continuing to share your good advice despite everything. There will definitively be a before and an after to this pandemic, although, in general terms and judging by how things are going, most of us haven’t learned much. I hope your good wishes come to pass although it doesn’t look as if we’ve seen the end of it yet. Stay safe.

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  3. “Keep your circles small and tight. It’s all about the quality of the people in our lives, not the quantity. And friends are the family we choose.” Well said, Sally! The is a difficult time and there are many who are experiencing sadness and loneliness. I am glad that we are entering 2022 together.

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  4. I love that quote: “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

    Unfortunately, the actions of governments around the world have destroyed and taken more lives than what this virus was capable of doing. And those who are benefiting from it through gained power and gained wealth never want it to end.

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  7. Hi Debby – you’ve had a tough year … and as you say have so many others. Love your ideas for the future:

    “Let us all pray for a better year globally, the sick to heal, the virus to die, and peace, love, and brotherhood to return to mankind.” and people to be compassionate …

    … and yes “When people show you who they are, believe them.” – so very true … take care, go with peace – and hugs from over here – Hilary

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  8. There have been so many tragedies throughout this pandemic! My heart goes out to you, Deb, for having experienced the worst one of all, losing your lifemate.

    My closest friend (going back to the 1970s) died of colon cancer a few months ago, and it saddens me that COVID restrictions prevented me from visiting her regularly.

    May 2022 be better for us all!

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    1. Oh Deb, I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. Seems all I do this year is give condolences too. Truly the worst year of my life. I can’t wait for Jan 1, and Christmas can’t pass fast enough for me. ❤

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  10. You had quite some serious and confronting realisations, Debby. I have to admit that I have found this year draining. Last year, we all seemed positive and upbeat, believing we were in it together and that it would be over soon. This year has dragged on and on for us, with repetitious lockdowns and border closures. The borders (some) have just reopened as the number of cases rises with the omicron variant. It’s not looking good.
    Best wishes to you for the holiday season. I know it won’t be easy for you, but I also know that you are strong and resilient. May 2022 bring you peace.

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    1. Thank you so much Norah, you are very kind. And yes, this year has deflated most of us. I wish you a happy holiday season and good health and happiness for the new year and always. ❤

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  11. I am happily amazed that the tiny overburdened hospital in our small town in New Mexico has been able to schedule exams, scans and tests on time. Then again, I haven’t need surgery until now. I am scheduled for removal/repair of an inguinal hernia in early January. We have been able to get two regular shots plus the booster–along with a flu shot. We still take precautions like masking and social distancing. The US is now at 180,000 reported deaths from COVID and who knows how many suffered other deaths that could have been avoided but for the demands of the pandemic on packed hospitals, burned out doctors or other medical staff. Retired as we are, we’re together all the time anyway, so no extra stress here. 🙂

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    1. I’m glad to here your state is doing well fighting the virus. And glad to hear your services are still running. Just a bit puzzled at the number you gave as on the news it states just over 730,000 deaths?

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  13. You’re spot on with all your observations and realizations, Debby. Nobody gets away unharmed when it comes to this pandemic. For us, 2021 was much worse than 2020. The ripple effect and consequences of the first Covid year affect even more people than before. Other than all these people dying from not having the right treatment because Covid took precedence, I think the mental health issues will be most substantial. I’m not the only one feeling down at the moment… And I have less reason for it than many others. Nice to see that you are still a positive thinker! Happy holidays to you, my friend.

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