Updates on health

Updates – Week One at the Gym…and Marsha

Published on by dgkaye

Last week I wrote about getting myself out more and joining the gym. I also talked about my new friend, Marsha, who lives in my building.

Well, week one has passed and as I write this, I am sore! Oye! Last Monday was my first day at the gym. I used the treadmill and then did half an hour with weight machines. This should not have been a problem had I been going to my own building’s gym three times a week like I had done -B.C. – before Covid. Last year, I’d have so say the most exercise I had was packing and moving. I walked miles while in Mexico, but let’s face it, besides carrying my heavy carryon bag through airports, I hadn’t done anything with weights. My body reminded how much I was out of shape. The next day was painful, so I took off two days and went back for more on Thursday. Friday I wasn’t nearly as sore, until I went to my first Yoga class on Saturday. Ouch!

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

I took Yoga classes years ago, and for many years I did Pilates at home, again, until the Covid hit and my husband became unwell. That’s when I threw self-care out the window. Time passing without proper exerise and a couple of years more of aging had me struggling in that class, but I did it! Did I hold all the poses for the whole time? Of course not. Did I shake and have to restart several poses while on one foot? Of course I did. I also found myself having to modify some poses using ‘beginner’ mode, even though I thought I was an old pro. Did my whole body ache the next day? Of course it did! But I am glad I did it and have every intention of going back to next Saturday’s class. I also intend to give a Zumba class a try later this week, ambitious I know! But socially, I haven’t met anyone yet, other than the sweet young girls who work at the club. I seem to have developed a rapport with a few of those girls, and they make me feel welcome every time I come in to the gym. It’s a start.

Back on the Marsha front. I hadn’t seen her all week until we went out for a coffee for a few hours this past Sunday. We had also spoken on the phone a few times this past week. She keeps herself very busy going to her gym/club where she is involved in activities daily. She goes five days a week in the morning and doesn’t return till 5pm. Disciplined girl, but as she told me, she has to get out and keep busy or she’ll go mad with boredom. She doesn’t use a computer, so naturally, she couldn’t fill her days online, which reminds how grateful I am for having a whole other world of online life that keeps my sanity – most days.

I feel like Marsha is one of those people I’ve written about before – people we meet for seasons and reasons. Marsha is a pretty, stylish woman with barely a wrinkle. She has a fun personality, and during our long conversations – talking about our younger days, and our ‘crazy’ mothers, just another thing in common, and we discovered that we are related through marriage. Her father divorced her mother and married my mother’s first cousin. What are the odds? But I had never heard of Marsha before. Perhaps because she is quite a bit older than me. That was the shocker. As I stated in my earlier post upon meeting Marsha, I took her for her early 70s, a good decade older than me, but when I asked her point blank how old she was, she was hesitant on admitting her true age of 81. What??? No way, I said. I always considered myself a great age guesser, this wild woman threw me right off kilter. I knew I had a lot to learn from Marsha.

We talked a lot about love and marriage and our husbands. Her first husband was the love of her life and like me, Marsha had a shocking diagnosis of her husband while in her mid-sixties, her husband developed severe headaches and was given the death edict with a brain tumor. Her life as she knew it took a 180 just as mine did. The caretaking, the love, the anticipatory grief and then the lifelong grief is a bond we have in common. I couldn’t help but ask her how she went on after that, and how did she manage to wed a second time?

Marsha clarified, she never married the second one. She met him, he persisted on going out together, she caved a few months later and started dating him. Circumstances and loneliness combined had her moving in with him, and admitting, that they had a good life for nine years until he too passed away, but she never stopped loving her first husband.

How do you do that? I asked Marsha. ‘It just kind of fell into place organically,’ she responded. He wanted to marry her but she declined. She told me when her time is up, she will be buried with her first husband. No doubt, as whatever happens in my future, anyone else who may enter my life could only ever hold second place.

I enjoy talking with Marsha because she’s funny, she’s down to earth, and I believe I have something to learn from her. My inquisitive mind is always willing to learn, and Marsha has definitely worn the shoes of life – and death. With aging comes wisdom. I know I can look back on my own life and see the errors of my ways and also recognize how far I’ve come mentally and emotionally since my younger days. Surely, someone who has twenty years on me has something more to teach me from her own years of experience.

Connections open doors for us to new paths. We may not always know where those doors will lead, but one thing I know for sure, opportunities and meeting people only happen when we open a path – they don’t come banging on our doors. We first have to open the door and take a step out of our usual routines to allow the universe to let us see what and who are out there to enrich our lives.

©DGKaye2022

68 thoughts on “Updates – Week One at the Gym…and Marsha”

  1. Oh, Debby … I’m afraid I’m laughing at the soreness! It takes me right back to years ago when I gave step aerobics a go … my friend failed to mention we were attending an advanced class. … OMG, the next day! I couldn’t walk properly for a week. 😂 Sending hugs and balm to your poor muscles!

    It sounds like Marsha and yourself are making a wonderful connection. I’m so happy!

    Love and hugs, Sis 💕🙂

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    1. Thanks Harmony, lol. You know the feeling. I’m still sore. And I’m sorry I only just saw this comment. WP is sending comments to 3 different places now. I think they’ve changed stuff again! Oye! xxx

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  2. You are amazing, Debby. All that fitness work. I’m in awe.
    Marsha sounds like a wonderful friend, and what an amazing coincidental connection.
    I think your last paragraph is full of wisdom. So much wisdom in such a young person.
    Enjoy!

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  3. Hi Debby – it’s good to know you’re branching out – but Marsha sounds an interesting character and you appreciate her openness … just enjoy her company, other friends and new acquaintances will come along – cheers Hilary

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  4. It all sounds good, Debby. You’ll be fit and fighting back in no time, and I am sure you’ll enjoy Zumba (I have two left feet, but although I prefer other classes, with a good instructor can be lots of fun, and everybody is there ready to enjoy it). Marsha sounds like a true character. What a coincidence about the family connection! I hope things keep looking up, Debby. Thanks for sharing this and I look forward to hearing more in the coming weeks.

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    1. Thanks so much Olga. Right now I’m still sore but going to go back to the gym today – even to get my money’s worth. Lol. Yes, no doubts there will be updates! ❤

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  5. Another way in which we’re alike is that I’ve done Pilates at home every morning for about 12 years now. It seems like fate that you’ve been fortunate enough to meet Marsha. x

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  6. Marsha sounds like a kindred spirit and you need her POV in your life. Happy for you! And woohoo for getting back to the gym. It is a long process to get back to it and the more we age, the harder it is to get back to the original fitness levels. Like you, I mostly walk (with my dogs) but since March I started doing morning calisthenics with light weights (I use an app that nags me until I get to it). It has really helped so I know you are on the right track. I don’t belong to a gym any longer, and I miss my old neighborhood gym, now that we moved. Our 3/4 acre property and hiking trails keep me pretty busy. Keep up the good work and enjoy your friendship, Debby!

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    1. Hi Terri. Thanks for your input. Yes, walking is good for us, and hiking is much more intense. But doing weights and yoga after a long drought is something we have to work back into. You don’t use it, you lose it for sure, lol. 🙂 x

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  8. Your dedication to fitness is truly inspiring, Deb – I need to step it up! It sounds like you and Marsha are kindred spirits, despite the age difference. How wonderful that you have a family connection as well! My dearest friend was 20 years older than me, but people thought we were sisters. Great advice about opening doors to new connections and experiences! We’ve been hermits for so long, it’s hard to break the habit.

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    1. Thanks so much John. And you are so right. I’m a perfect example of someone who let the exercise go by the wayside, and boy, it’s brutal getting back in shape. Keep it up! 🙂

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  11. I feel your pain Debby… even if it is unpacking and packing boxes and gardening all day… at least it is to music.. as you have often said and repeated here, people come in and out of our lives for a reason and Marsha’s arrival sounds perfect.. Delighted you have such an intersting and world wise new friend to support you as you head out and face the world again ♥♥

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  12. Congratulations on getting back into those exercise regimes – I can tell you’re already feeling some of the benefits. Meeting Marsha sounds like one of those friendships that was meant to happen! ❤

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  13. You are taking all the proper steps physically and socially. I’m pretty dedicated to working out, not because I’m on an ego trip, but mostly because I feel better physically and emotionally. It is also an excellent way to meet people. I generally go mid-morning, so most of the people there are fellow retirees. Your new friend sounds like a gem.

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    1. Thanks Pete. Yes, it’s funny when we’re younger we think of exercise as getting in good looking shape more than as we age when we realize how much it is for good health and feeling better. 🙂

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  14. It’s fantastic you’ve met Marsha, and I so admire you going to the gym. Take it slow, though – you don’t want to hurt yourself, and muscles take a while to get stronger. Bravo to you. Toni x

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  15. Marsha come into your life at an opportune and perfect time, Debby! I’m so glad you have a new friend and kindred spirit, right inside your building and on your floor! This is great.

    I once joined a gym/hot yoga place for one month when house sitting in Northern California for a few months. The reason for this (other than that it was cheap, $30 for the month :)) was so I would be able to socialize and meet new people. Unfortunately, that never happened. Maybe if I would have lived there…

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    1. That is my thinking Liesbet, and of course to take some classes. So far, I haven’t met anyone other than the girls that work there. I will keep the membership until I no longer want to do classes, and hopefully before that I may click there with someone. Hugs xx

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  16. Oh, you are definitely on a good path, now my friend. I am ready to get back on the pool/treadmill. The weights will follow in the three weeks until that upcoming procedure. After that, may be a hiatus. Finding friends is a critical thing that keeps us mentally healthy as we age–that’s not my opinion, that’s what all the research says. Happy to hear of your new connection.

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  17. I love to read how you are stretching out and connecting with new people, Debby. I believe people are in our lives for a reason, a season or lifetime. Each one is a gift. Enjoy!
    Many Blessings,
    Lisa xoxo

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  18. Good for you with the exercise, Sis. I’m bound and determined to learn yoga, but the next two months with home renovation stress (it’s like moving again) and gardening will have to do for me. Keep up the good soul work. You are starting to heal and that’s always a good thing. Love ya! ❤

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  19. I’m glad you’re getting back into exercising, Debby! It’s the good kind of pain that comes with moving the body in ways it hasn’t moved in a long time. And as for Marsha, how cool is it that you two are related by marriage?? She sounds like a great person who loves life despite having experienced some of the worst moments life has to give. Keep us posted! xo

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  20. You’ve inspired me, Deb. I’ve been hesitant to return to the gym, due to COVID and having asthma. But like you, I’m so very careful, and ~ hey, if you can do it, I can do it! Marsha sounds like a terrific addition to your life. What a blessing, eh? The universe provides. I have news on a recent blessing I’ll fill you in on when we talk next. ‘Til then, love and hugs, sis ❤️

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  21. This post is so inspirational, Debby. It’s always hard to get back into exercising, but when we do, we feel so much better. I’ve had more than enough “start dates” to count. 🙂 Even if it feels good, there’s always something that comes up to sabotage the routine. We’ve been gearing up for our backpacking trip next month, which takes effort, and there have been a few days when that effort has been hiding. 🙂 Thanks for shining your light. ❤️

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    1. Hi Lauren. Thanks for the kudos. Believe me, I’ve had one of those weeks this week where I could almost talk myself out of it so I know of what you speak. But I’m off to Yoga soon! Gotta keep getting back up! Hugs ❤

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      1. That’s the mindset I’m in right now, too, but it’s motivating to read your great attitude in the morning, Debby. I have an 80 lb. lab to walk in about an hour then I’ll hear the treadmill calling me. 🙂 Have a good weekend and hugs back. 💗

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  23. Good for you, Deb! Getting back to the gym is huge and I know it’s something I should be doing as well. 😛 Marsha sounds lovely and how unreal that there is a family connection. This: “We first have to open the door and take a step out of our usual routines to allow the universe to let us see what and who are out there to enrich our lives.” What a beautiful truth you’ve shared. Thanks for the reminder. Love and hugs!

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  24. I had to read this post, Deb, to learn all about myself! I have two friends like that in their 80s and they look 60. Good for you, diving right into the thick of fitness routines. I am jumping in slowly, but I can tell a big difference in my knee. I read what exercises strengthen a torn meniscus, and sure enough, they work. I just need to get regular. 🙂

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    1. Wow Marsh, I didn’t know there were any exercises to help a meniscus once torn. I know three people in the last few years who needed new knees because of this. Keep exercising and stave off the surgery!!! ❤

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      1. After 8 months of surgery due to the deep vein thrombosis caused by the tear and probably the COVID vaccines, I’m not anxious to do any more surgery that would lay me up again. Walking/mobility is too precious.

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  25. Glad to hear you are getting back in the groove with self care – things may throw us Debbys off track for a bit, but we have the strength to get back in the saddle – in my case, hopefully literally!
    Covid didn’t throw me at first, but the second wave, and increasing pain from my hips, did for me this last year. Now I have a rigid physio plan to follow for post op recovery, I’m getting the discipline to take myself in hand again. That way I will be fitter again when I have to take time out for the second surgery. I will not be beaten!
    Marsha sounds like a great inspiration and comfort – I’m so glad you’ve found her. It’s lovely having world wide e-friends, but nothing quite makes up for someone you can actually meet up with in person.

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    1. Hi Deb. You know it. Us Debbys are a force to be reckoned with. It must be part of our name – Queen Bees lol. I’m so glad you did magnificent with your first hip, and you’ve prepared yourself for what to do better for the next one! Rock on my friend! Thank you. Hugs xx

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