Life Love Loss

Damaged Goods, Warranties, Humor, and the Love of My Life

Published on by dgkaye

Damaged Goods –

A popular slang term for a person with a ravaged past, incident, or reputation – no longer perfection. Aren’t we all damaged in some way? Hard to think that anyone has sailed through life unscathed by hurt, pain, or inappropriate abuse. We don’t have to experience physical pain to feel abused  – mental, or emotional, abuse can appear in all forms.

My husband used to joke around with me because three days after we were married, I wound up in hospital – on and off for three months because they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, thinking it was a cancer that turned out to be hard to diagnose Crohns disease. No, it wasn’t funny then, but through the years, I had a few other scares, and throughout our marriage when all was well, my humorous husband used to like to say to our friends that he married damaged goods. He’d add to that, in true used car salesman talk, he married a lemon and it was too late to give her back because the warranty had expired.

Yes, that was my husband, always full of humorous slogans. Yes, I can laugh, and so can you, because my husband loved me to the nth degree and would move heaven and earth for anything that would make me happy. I lacked for nothing and never asked for anything, because I didn’t have to. He was always willing to give anything of himself. And he always did.

Damaged goods isn’t an endearing term by any means, typically it is referred to as a product we’ve bought that failed to live up to its projected expectations. Not so pretty when used to refer to a person’s state of being. My Honey had a joke for everything between us, and that’s why we laughed together every single day we were together. Life isn’t always funny, but if you can look past the painful parts and find a way to make light of things, it helps to lighten the load. Having unconditional love allows for such jokes, without that, a comment like that would sound abusive.

My husband had so many funny sayings. He was also always full of surprises. Every year or so he’d come home and inform me that he sold my car again. This was his department not mine. I knew that when he found a happy paying customer to buy a car he didn’t have on the lot for him, but he had one his wife was driving, of course, in mint condition, it was time to sell and make a profit. It became like a side business for him because all my cars were bought at wholesale price, and sold for retail. Getting a new car didn’t cost us anything and we’d buy a newer model. He had always warned me to never get attached to ‘things’.

One day he came home from work while I was sitting outside with a neighbor. He got out of his car, came up to me and gave me a kiss as he did every single day of our lives together, then told me to clean out my car, it was going tomorrow. I’d lament as I always did once I got attached to a car, reminding him how much I loved it and didn’t need a new one. The logic would repeat, he’d laugh and add, “Now Cubby, make sure you don’t stand on this driveway because you can be sold too.” Lol, I always remembered that one. As if! He loved to give the neighbors a laugh, pretending to be the guy with authority when anyone who knew us, knew that it was I who always had the final say. But I let him get his glory moments in, and we’d both burst out laughing at the mere conception that he’d ever give me away for any price.

I miss that man more than I could ever write. My heart breaks daily again everyday I wake up without him, and the painful longing for his embrace and love. I try to keep focusing on our funny moments to overshadow the black hole that resides within me, there were so many moments. It’s a Herculian task to say the least, to struggle daily with missing my other half of me. My husband joked a lot about my being damaged goods, but little did he know that’s exactly how I feel now without him. And there are no jokes possible to lighten this load. But one thing is for sure, the warranty on my love for him will never expire.

Big Puppy

©DGKaye2022

103 thoughts on “Damaged Goods, Warranties, Humor, and the Love of My Life”

  1. It’s the humour that is the glue to a lasting relationship. It sounds like you two were on the same wavelength regarding humour. I’m sure he loves hearing you laughing at his jokes, even now. xo

    Like

    Reply

  3. Awww…. tears pricked in that last paragraph Debby…. The lovely banter and love that you both shared, what a delight, and how you must miss those quips.. Lovely photo Debby…. and yes I doubt any of us could ever say any of us are perfect.. I am far from it… I often say – “If I were perfect… I wouldn’t be here” 🙂 …. 🙂 ❤ ❤

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Sue. My tears flow many times a day just thinking of him. I am trying to write about the good things, even though it pains me to write them too. Thank you my lovely friend. ❤ xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. It’s good to remember the humor, Debby. It’s good to remember the embraces, the kisses and the cuddling. I too, miss it more than words can say. Sending you love!

    Like

    Reply

  5. I think a sense of humor is one of the most important things two people can share in a marriage, and you and your love had it in spades, I think. This was a lovely remembrance and tribute to your love for him and his playful spirit.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Amy. So true, we had a connection so rare with so many. Perhaps that’s why my grief never seems to subside – the more we loved, the more we grieve. I am trying to write now about the goodness of him, trying not to focus on the broken me. ❤

      Like

      Reply

  7. What a beautiful homage, Debby. Being able to laugh together and to have such a strong relationship… Plenty of good memories to hold on to. Big hugs, Debby. I am sure he’s looking after you still.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Oh Debby, this is so beautifully written, embedded with your sweet love, honoring the love of your life. I admire all the love and laughter you two shared. It inspires us all to turn to our beloved, tell them they are loved, kiss them on the lips, and hold them tight. Your love was so rare and continues to animate the way we embrace each other. Wrapping you in my love, hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for your big heart Cheryl. Yes, we had that rare kind of love, I was blessed for sure. And you offer great advice – never take for granted the one we love, for it only takes a moment to have it all snatched away from us. Love back to you my friend. ❤ xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  10. What beautiful memories you have with your husband, Debby! Humor is the best trait anyone could have. I can see that your husband brightened up every room he walked in. We’re all damaged in some way. “Damaged, but good.” A damaged but good life is a seasoned life and a matured life. Perhaps that was what your husband saw in you and that’s what he loved in you. I love your story, Debby. ❤

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Miriam. You can believe when George Gies was in a room, everybody knew it. He had such a big presence, but he always let me shine. I loved what you said Miriam = A good life is a seasoned life. That’s a beautiful description. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your kindness. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  12. An always-and-forever love who still watches over you, Deb. Blessings such as this are exceptional and deserve recognition. I deeply appreciate the honor you bestow upon the love of your life. It fills me with warmth, gratitude, and promise. I love you, Sis ❤️

    Like

    Reply

  14. I can appreciate how you and your husband laughed at something each day; My wife and I do the same. Finding humor in a situation does relieve lots of stress. Everyone has to inevitably deal with hard stuff, but keeping our sense of humor gets us through that. It’s healthy to think back and remember all the good times you shared with your husband.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Pete. Oh yes, laughing was our thing. There just isn’t enough of it. It’s definitely the ‘secret sauce’ to keeping a good marriage. Hard to laugh with someone if we’re holding grudges. So nice to hear you have that with your wife. ❤

      Like

      Reply

  16. Oh, Debby, I love the banter the two of you shared. Some of the things hubby and I say to one another would sound horrendous to anyone who doesn’t know us, lols! I’d say, with those memories, damaged goods are better than unused goods! Here’s to you and this wonderful homage to the love of your life. Hugs 💕🙂💕

    Like

    Reply

  17. A beautiful tribute, Debby.
    Although I never met your husband, I feel I know him a little more through your words. I agree humor must be looked at in context. This is what is missing in the online word, understanding the deeper meaning behind words. Many do not seek to understand but only interpret from their own perspective. Thank you for sharing the love behind your husband’s humor. I enjoyed it.
    Many Blessings
    Lisa xoxo

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Lisa. You are so right, so much is taken out of context. But in a good relationship there is often an understanding without explanation. I’m so glad you enjoyed getting to know a bit about my husband. Not hard to see in the picture I posted. I love that picture because it exudes his true demeanor with him always smiling. ❤ xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  19. I love this post and your playful shared humor. I agree we are all proudly damaged goods. Love definitely does not expire it is always there where it is. Hugs xo

    Like

    Reply

  20. Wow, Debby, you brought me to tears at the end. I love the humor you both shared. And I think a relationship without humor may be destined for failure. Like you said, the load needs to be lightened at times with laughter. The relationship you and your husband had together was wonderful and priceless, and it’s no wonder your love for him will never expire. I feel the strong connection you two had, and I feel the great loss. Thank you for sharing. Hugs xo

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Lauren. It’s so easy to talk about him, but never without tears. I am so glad I could bring some of his dynamic personality to the page. We were the perfect fitting puzzle, now I will be forever be missing those pieces. Thank you for your kindness and sorry about the tears. I went through half a box just writing. Hugs ❤ xx

      Like

      Reply

    1. Thank you Sal. I know Sal. I sometimes get so lost in my writing about my loss and my grief that I felt I didn’t expose more of what he was made of. I feel like I want to do that now so people can know better what a wonderful, loving and funny man he was, which explains how much of a giant loss he is in so many ways. I learned so much from him. Part of who I am was because of him. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  22. Yes, it’s best to focus on the happy/humorous times I think. Funnily enough I often now say to Sam that he married ‘damaged goods’, as I now have to live with all the after-effects of radiation treatment. He doesn’t seem to mind though. x

    Like

    Reply

  23. One thing I told my husband when we married was that his number one job in our marriage was to make me laugh every day. He has taken that responsibility very seriously and if I laugh twice, he’ll say he’s letting that one roll over into the next day, just in case. Of course, there’s more than laughter in a marriage, he was by my side every second when I was ill. It’s just humor is our thing so I totally understand the type of relationship you are talking about and I equally feel your grief as you try and move forward. I am so sorry Debby! ♥ I love, LOVE his car shirt. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Melanie for sharing some of yourself. Sounds like you are blessed as I was. And yes of course there is more to marriage than that, but honestly, if there was anything blocking our happiness, we wouldn’t be able to laugh together. So if we could laugh together everyday, everything was okay. Thanks for your kind words. And thanks for the shirt comment. I dressed him from the day I met him. I bought him that shirt in Arizona – in 3 colors. 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  25. I enjoyed you post so much and had to smile at your husband’s sense of humor –
    The used car lemon analogy – haha
    But it sounds like you both have bonded so well – in contrast – I was chatting with a lady who is mentally preparing to part ways with her spouse but can’t figure out how to go About it. She saved with us (in a ladies group) that in year one her hubs had back surgery and the entire 12 years since had been all centered around his medical – but they also weren’t able to use at a catalyst for closeness
    And that is key – can the couple stay growing and United!
    –
    Oh and recently heard the analogy of a used baseball glove – the lady said her eight year old son was sad when his new leather mitt got dirty / “it’s ugly” he said – and the mom noted how the uglier it gets the better it can become as a usable glove
    Not advocating for ugliness in people but her point was just like yours – about damaged goods being part of human! And the way we get stolronher and become more usable – like a seasoned baseball glove that has give and can be maneuvered – we humans get our strategic usability this way!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Yvette. Thanks for sharing that about your friend, and I’m sorry to hear. It’s a painful road and I’m far from over my beloved’s loss. I too spent many years with his doctor stuff. We passed the test in flying colors on true love through thick and thin. Oh, and love the baseball glove analogy. I’m glad you enjoyed, and thanks for stopping by. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  26. Also / sorry for your loss and sounds like two had such a great relationship – love that smile in his photo because I can feel his joy (and pretty smart business man to do that with the car each year)

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks again Yvette. I love that photo of him, it so exudes who he was. And he had somewhat of a devilish smile, but a heart of gold. He was sharp as a razor until the day he died. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  27. Wonderful post Debbie … and I can feel your love throughout the post … fun and happy to read … while the photo is quite delightful … what great remembrances for you … with thoughts – Hilary

    Like

    Reply

  28. Such a well-written piece, Debby! It packs a punch in many ways. I’m so glad you two were made for each other with unconditional love and everyday humor. That is something so very precious. And rare! I don’t have to tell you to embrace the memories, because you already do. Sometimes I wish I had more laughs and unconditional love in my life. ❤

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words Liesbet. Arg, I am sorry Liesbet. Sounds like maybe some one on one time and heartful conversations may be in order. Make your life the best, and the laughter is so important, it helps to get through the bumpy things in life. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  29. Such gems are so rare Deb! I am glad you made such beautiful memories with your husband, they are helping you in the healing process. It’s good to remember all the aspects of your dearest hubby… I appreciate your efforts of turning your attention to his humorous side. Sending you a bear hug. ❤️

    Like

    Reply

  30. Sis, this was a beautiful tribute to the love you and George continue to share to this very day. That’s the good thing about true love—it never wavers. I’m happy you are remembering the good times, the laughter, and the love. That is what life is all about. ❤️

    Like

    Reply

  35. I just loved this! I call those expressions between spouses (which could easily be misinterpreted by anyone else) as terms of endearment. We’re older now, so ‘the walking wounded’ is often a great laugh for us. So is PD (pre-dementia) and many more. Laugh and laugh often!

    Like

    Reply

  36. When people say you have to work at marriage I think the opposite, play and fun and humour are what is best! Still having laughs with family and friends, but no one at home to joke with anymore.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I agree Janet. But a good give and take relationship allows for play, fun and humor. Foundation allows this. And do I ever know about the loneliness. ❤

      Like

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s