Two podcasts 6 and 7 are live now. Grief the Real Talk – Abandonment and Relationship Changes After Loss, and Condolences – What to Say and What Not to Say to Grievers. I also want to share the most amazing and concise speech about grief as explained by Dr. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD. And I’d also like to thank Judith Barrow, Diana Peach, Stevie Turner, Smitha Vishwanath and Lisa Thomson for their most lovely and recent reviews for my new book – Fifteen First Times.
I will commence podcasting again, end of March.
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Thanks to Marian Beaman emailing the link to this video of Dr. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD, bestselling author, talking the bare bones on grief at different ages.
Dr. Josefowitz talks about there being no right way to grieve, and about how Dr. Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief were originally written for the dying one, not the grievers. There is no law and order for a griever. Dr. J will tell us her own list of 7 emotional stages of grief, which is more like a griever’s life, no set pattern, many times revisiting, triggers, etc. This was like listening to me telling my life. Unreal. I am not alone. Everything she lived is me. So the good parts that she states, about when grief moves from her head into her heart, and suddenly the pain doesn’t feel as heavy, is the part I look forward to.
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Also, I wanted to thank a few people here who have kindly posted new reviews for my recent book release – Fifteen First Times:
Review by Judith Barrow:
Fifteen First Times is a collection of short but evocative memoirs by D G Kaye. I actually wasn’t sure what to expect when I first started to read. All I knew was that, having read various other books by this author, and having always admired her intimate writing style, I was in for a treat. I wasn’t disappointed…
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Review by Stevie Turner:
In this short but candid book the author D.G Kaye shares fifteen of her first times with us; from her first diet to her first menstrual period, her first high heels, her first love, and her first cigarette to name but a few. We also find out what happened when she decided to dye her hair red for the first time…
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Review by Smitha Vishwanath:
‘Fifteen first times’ by author D.G. Kaye is a light, heartwarming read that will leave you reminiscing your own fifteen first times, sweet events you may have forgotten along the way as life took over and bitter ones that hurt you so much, that you buried deep inside of you- basically, all the experiences that made you into the person you currently are…
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Reviewed by Diana Peach:
Kaye’s memoir Fifteen First Times reads like a conversation over a glass of wine with a bunch of besties. As I was reading, I could imagine the groans, laughter, and tender moments many women share in common as they navigate their teens and young adulthood—first kiss, first love, first car, a broken heart, the angst of menstruation, the first hair coloring disaster, and the first death that woke us up to the impermanence of life. Fifteen firsts…
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Goodreads
My rating: 5 Stars
Lisa Thomson‘s review
Jan 04, 2023
it was amazing
bookshelves: memoir
A lovely essay style memoir, by D.G. Kaye. She shares fifteen of her poignant first experiences. Each one as touching as the next. Kaye makes herself vulnerable in sharing these very personal stories, including losing loved ones. My favorite were her stories of her trip to Europe as a teen. If you grew up in the 70’s you will doubly enjoy this book. Highly recommend!
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©DGKaye2023
DGKayewriter.com 
Congratulations Debi! I’ll have a look! ❣️
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Thanks so much Cindy ❤
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you’re so welcome dear! 💞
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❤
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Thanks for sharing your podcasts and the link as well. I am sure plenty of people will find it as useful as you do. And congratulations on the wonderful reviews of your new memoir. I couldn’t have been any other way. Big hugs, Debby and have a fabulous weekend.
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Hi Olga. Thanks so much for your lovely kudos. Happy weekend my friend! ❤ xx
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Thank you, Debby, for giving a voice to the grieving process. The podcast about what to say or what not to say really hit home with me. For weeks after my husband passed away, I drove thirty miles away to go to a grocery store where no one knew me and no one would keep reminding me of my pain.
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Hi Jan. Thanks for letting me know you found the podcast adding value. I know exactlyyyyyyyy how you feel/felt. I also know how awkward condolences are for so many, so I hope my video helps others in some small way – not just grievers, but those who wish to learn how to behave around a griever. Hugs ❤
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I’m so glad to hear that new podcasts are up. I put a link to your channel on my dad’s computer yesterday and encouraged him to listen since he’s just trying to “tough it out.” There’s something lovely about your voice and gentle honesty that I think he’ll be able to listen to when he’s alone without me hovering.
And I’m so glad you enjoyed my review of “Fifteen First Times.” Thanks for sharing the link to my review of a super fun and relatable book. Hugs. ❤ ❤
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Hi Diana. Thank you so much for your kind words again, especially about my podcast. I’m so happy you shared the link with your dad. I hope he can nod to it and find something in there that just helps to make him feel a wee bit understood. Hugs ❤ xx
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He doesn’t want to talk to anyone. That’s too hard, but he’s willing to listen without the pressure of having to respond. ❤
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I know ALL about that. He needs to be with his thoughts. Just keep check on him for those moments he may want to say something, or just need a hug. ❤
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I’m there a lot, and always willing to listen. He’s getting used to hugs. 🙂
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❤ xx
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Some wonderful reviews! Well done. The podcasts are excellent, especially the one about condolences. I appreciate the clarification. Enjoy your break!
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Hi Darlene. Thanks so much for popping by and for letting me know that you found the Condolence video helpful. That means my work is getting done. Hugs ❤
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Both very compelling podcasts Debby and people do struggle to find the right words to offer someone who is grieving. and they will find your suggestions very helpful. ♥♥
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HI Sal. Thanks a lot for your encrouagement and kudos. I really do hope my podcasts can shed light for both grievers and those who will inevitably have their own time to grieve and wish to get the lowdown of things to expect. Hugs ❤ xxx
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When I became a widow four months ago I thought I was going to have to go on with my old life without my husband. Now I realize that I have to build a whole new life that does not include many of the old relationships.
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HI Alessandra. I’m so very sorry for your loss. You are so right. The changes we go through can be terrifying. We find our world is completely changed, and even some of the people who used to be part of it, are no longer. It is definitely like making a new life. Since losing my husband, I feel as though I’ve become the grief guru because of learning to do everything solo again, the emotions that many don’t understand, and learning to live again while carrying the heaviness in my heart. I hope you found my podcast(s) somewhat insightful, and letting you feel that you are definitely not alone. Hugs ❤
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I did like to listen to them, thank you, they are helpful. I had problems streaming though. Not sure why, maybe a bad connection?
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Thanks again. Perhaps it’s the device you’re streaming on. If you’re interested in more podcasts, please feel free to visit my Youtube channel where I have 5 other podcasts up. I resume again in late March. 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/debbyDGKayeGies
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Debby – Don and I listened to your most recent podcast, as we do all of your podcasts, and were inspired by your profound words of how to express condolences. When you get back in March – we would love to have you as a return guest on TTT to discuss “Grief -The Real Talk”.
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Hi Rebecca. Oh wow thanks so much. I didn’t know that you and Don listen together. I’m truly humbled. And even more stoked that you want to do another interview. I WOULD LOVE TOO! I’ll be back last week of March, so just let me know where and when and what you may want me to cover, and I’d be thrilled. Hugs xox
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FABULOUS!!! I will sent you an email! Your podcast is extraordinary, Debby. You confront the challenges we face because we have loved well and strong. Sending hugs along with my gratitude.
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Thank you so very much Rebecca. That’s my goal, a safe place to listen, learn a few things, and discover we aren’t alone.
I look forward to your email. ❤ xx
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On grief and losing family that are so dear to us, we really truly only have a small amount of friends that care. The one’s that care keep checking on us and offering love and prayer. They check on us daily and nightly and offer help and just an ear to listen to our helpless feelings. I am so very thankful for those select few because not once did they leave. They stayed through a family members first diagnosis, hope, medicine, realization, suffering, more suffering, despair, death. May I always be there for each one of them. :)Jen
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Hi Jen. Thank you for sharing some of your tender heart here. Yes indeed, we find out in our hours of despair exactly who is there for us. We are blessed for those that remain a part of our tribe. Each one of them a blessing. ❤
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I listened to episode 6, Debby. I am hardly a grief expert, but my guess is why people seem to abandon the grieving, is they don’t know how to respond. Death prompts all kinds of strange reactions. It doesn’t make it right, but I bet some of those people stay away (absolutely the wrong thing to do) because they don’t know what to say/do. Then, rather than simply being human and genuine, they stay away. This, in turn, understandably feels like abandonment for the griever. As always, communication is the best choice.
I’m so sorry that you and others have experienced feelings of abandonment. That’s why podcasts such as this one are important because you are educating people who may not have gone through this and are unsure how to act.
I was astounded to learn that some couples see a widow as a threat to their marriage. I would never have considered that.
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Hi Pete. Thanks for listening and leaving your thoughts here. For many, yes, they don’t know how ‘to be’ around us, so for some, it’s easier just to slither away. Thank you for understanding that not everyone is a griever, despite everyone will undoubtedly have their day, and acknowledging that these podcasts are meant as a comfort to other grievers, but also so informative for others who can gain an understanding of what grief leaves behind. ❤
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People need to do the right thing instead of avoiding what they perceive as uncomfortable situations.
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I agree. Although, seems easier said than done for some. 🙂
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Congrats on the two new podcasts, Debby. I enjoyed your new memoir. Have a relaxing time at your beach apartment. x
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Thanks so much Stevie for your congrats. And oh yes, I can’t wait! ❤ x
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Excellent podcast, especially the one about family who abandons us in our time of need. That too has been my experience. I didn’t lose a husband (as you know) but other losses that hurt and people who should have been there for me weren’t. Sigh.
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Thanks for sharing your experience here Jacqui. Sadly, this is something that occurs in many griever’s lives. That’s why I speak of things that we can relate to, and also, for others to learn about. ❤
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Powerful thoughts Debby.. I only as yet managed to listen to podcast 6 and yet to come back to Episode 7.. I agree, its difficult to express our sincere thoughts of condolences.. Because No amount of words of comfort can really comfort those in grief… Because their heart has been ripped out..
Knowing that we are there for that person who is grieving, is sometimes all we can do, I know from a perspective of an Aunt of mine, who lost the love of her life, he was only 60, not yet retired… Everything in her life from that moment on stopped… It took my Aunt well into her 80’s before she could really speak openly without tears flowing of her late husband…
I know each person is different..
Sending love my friend…. ❤
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Thank you Sue. Your aunt’s grief sounds too familiar. A great love will never end, no matter how far in another dimension. I know I will carry this grief until my last breath, no matter what new beginnings. Only hoping one day the weight on my heart lessens and I learn to package it tightly in my heart. Love never dies, and grief is just love with no place to go. Hugs xox ❤
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No Debby Love never dies and Love will continually bond you and your beloved together.. And remember he is only ever a whisper away.. ❤ Hugs xx
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This I know. ❤ xx
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These sound fantastic, Debby x
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Thanks so much Toni xx
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