I just wanted to post a note here to inform you about my absence around social media and YOUR blogs.
Once again my husband took very ill. And once again I almost lost him this past early Saturday morning. When my brain isn’t fried from mental and emotional exhaustion I may write more about it, but for now I’ll just say that I’ve been pretty much living at the hospital this weekend and Monday morning he’ll be having exploratory surgery to see what caused his near fatal loss of life.
For the past year and a half my husband has encountered many ongoing health problems and with a combination of terrible gastro issues from his radiation induced proctitis and colitis and cirrhosis of part of his liver causing unpredictable episodes of blood loss and residually, fatal drops in his hemoglobin needing immediate blood transfusions, my life has become an unsettled, on call at all times kind of lifestyle. By the grace of God I’ve been there the many times he passed out and convulsed and saved him from cracking his head open. This time was no different.
He had a rough night Friday night of what he thought was the most terrible indigestion he ever remembered, and after taking all his meds and anything else I had in my bag of tricks he couldn’t find relief. I’d already made the decision if it didn’t stop by morning I was taking him to the hospital. But as it turned out, I didn’t have to take him, the ambulance did.
I’ll preface this by saying my husband will always act stoic and do his best to never complain about how he feels, this comes with a double-edged sword. I tell him repeatedly that he has to come clean when he’s not feeling well so we can stay one step ahead of what’s to come from his symptoms. Because he doesn’t always want to let on he’s not well I’ve learned to read his mood, face and words with an investigative eye.
I heard him getting out of bed around 645am and my inner alarm bells sounded when I instinctively knew he couldn’t keep his balance. When I heard him bang into the dresser, I had the sick feeling the slight dizziness he complained of the night before may mean his hemoglobin had dropped. And despite my questioning myself in those nano seconds of no sightings of blood I turned around and leaped out of bed like superwoman without a cape to catch his head while he fell before it hit the hardwood floor. He moaned he couldn’t feel his legs that’s why he fell and asked me to help him to the bathroom only 4 feet away from his fall. I tried to lift him but he was dead weight without his legs helping us out. I lifted him to his knees only to have him fall again and I stuck out my arm to break his fall before his head hit the bathroom doorframe. I was mortified that his face went white like an actual ghost and his eyes began convulsing just like the Excorcist movie. My heart was racing as I struggled to prop him up against the door so I could get to the phone to call 911. The most horrifying sight was his eyes rolling around and then the pool of blood he projectile vomitted everywhere.
I’ve trained myself to look like I’m calm when I’m dying inside but trembling, I ran to the phone and dialed 911 as I screamed hysterically at what I’d just witnessed. I was one of those type of people we all see on TV crime shows when someone is in shock calling 911. I sat on the floor with him as his face and body was covered with blood only leaving him for a split second to run and unlock the door for the paramedics and they came and took him away immediately without the usual 20 minutes they’d spent in the past calls checking all his vitals and asking me a million questions.
They asked me if I wanted to come with them or follow in my car. I couldn’t go, I had to collect his things and I was in pyjamas and my brain felt like it froze and I couldn’t think at 715 am. I called my sister in my shocked state to tell her what happened and I couldn’t control my hysteria. She told me to get dressed she’d be over in 10 minutes to pick me up, shouting at me to listen to her and don’t dare get in my car and drive.
Soon after his arrival in the ER they had my husband on a blood transfusion. He was 1 point off the legal limit of being able to receive a transfusion – 71. He was hooked up to various infusions to halt the internal bleeding and I was hoping they’d take him into surgery but because they had got the bleeding under control and it was the weekend, the surgery was put off til this Monday morning (today).
We are so blessed to have a wonderful healthcare system in Canada and our hospital is wonderful in many respects, but like many hospitals around the globe there always seems to be a shortage of nursing staff so I make it my business to look after whatever needs looking after without hunting down a nurse. And so right now it seems like one long day of 2 for me with not much sleep as I’ve been looking after my husband and await the findings of tomorrow, thankfully with his own gastro-enterologist doing the exploring inside him. So, I just came home after my 13 hour shift again, wrote this post and can barely keep my eyes opened and must now go to bed so I can get up at 430am, time to have a coffee and wake myself up and get ready to be there at 6am.
I wanted to share this here because I know many of you are used to seeing me around your blogs daily and I always respond to comments promptly and when you don’t see me around and I haven’t announced a time out, I felt it my obligation to let you know why.
Now, I know I’m severelyyy behind in blog reading, and while my eyes can barely stay open on the computer to read any at this time, my notifications are multiplying by the 100s, LOL. So just know, I will be back round later this week, but forgive me for the many posts I may have missed going forward.
Thanks for all your support and I promise to be back to regular posting and visits soon!
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