Life and Loss – The Little Things – Car Service Time Without My Car Man

After 27 years I had to service my car for the first time on my own, and first, find a place to do so.

For 27 years I didn’t have to worry or think about gassing the car, oil changes, car washes, tires, or brakes. My Puppy was the car man in every sense of the world. Then that ‘service car soon for oil change’ light began flashing. Where was I to go? The last time I took my own car in for a oil change was somewhere in the era of 1995. I paid $29.99 at a Speedy Auto – 30 minutes or it’s free. Ya, those were the days!

Back in the day, just pre, my husband, we were just switching over to self-serve gas stations. Gasp, I have to put in my own gas? Gone are the days when after another human put gas in our cars, the attendant would then bring a squeegee and wipe down all our windows. And maybe, if we were lucky, they may even open up the hood of our car to make sure we had enough wiper fluid. Yes, those were the golden days and how I grew up. The sudden switch over to self-serve didn’t have me liking the advance with the times. I learned quick to stop letting my cars go down to empty before a fill, and when the gage was hitting a quarter tank left to hit the gas station on a good weather day.

So, last week I returned from the gym and when I turned off the ignition, I saw that flashing message reminding it was time for an oil change. Oye! What a dilemma. Where should I take my car now?

I made some inquiries with friends. Most gave me warnings instead of suggestions. Don’t go here or there because they’ll rip you off and try and sell you things you don’t need. One friend offered me to call the auto garage she uses and didn’t even remember how much she pays there. I called, the person who answered the phone was kind of quick and rude, ballparking me anywhere from $80 – $130. Are you kidding me?? Did I mention the last time I took my own car in I paid $29.99? Had prices gone up that much??

I thought about taking it to one of the two dealerships my husband worked for. I know for certain the first one where he worked for 48 years, they charged too much because even when my hubby worked there, he’d take my car elsewhere for certain work or pay a service guy cash to do the work on his lunch hour, and all those ‘elsewhere’s’ I remembered, were no longer around. Then I considered where he last worked up until 2020, but that was a half hour drive away. So I then proceeded to visit my friend ‘Google’.

I knew for certain there were some automotive garages in an industrial area five minutes from where I live, which is incidentally, five minutes from the first dealership my hubby worked at. I know he did business with some of these places, and picked one to call, based on the many, many, five star reviews they were rated without a complaint in the bunch. Fair, honest, great, don’t try to upsell things, were just a few of the common themed comments I’d read. Bingo!

Before calling, I had to educate myself about information I’d come across that people were now changing over traditional oil to ‘synthetic’ oil because of better performance and longevity for the engine. I wanted to learn why that price was practically double than the traditional oil, and learned it had something to do with the refining process, and that once upon a time, when oil was discarded, the automotive places got paid for discarding their oil, and now, they have to pay for discarding it.

So, I decided my best option was to call Mr. Automotive, based on the fantastic reviews, close proximity, and maybe they knew my husband?

Nikki answered the phone. I asked a few questions, and before a few minutes passed, we were laughing together like old chums. She’d asked me for the make and model of my car so she could quote me the accurate price. Yes. I learned each model of car has different engines and oil requirements. But when she asked me more about my model, my response was, bwahahahha, are you kidding me? I don’t know such particulars. We laughed, and after two call backs of her checking the possibilities, I went down to my underground to search out the extra fancy initials and numbers beside the model name of my car for her. She then called me back with the quote – at which I gasped, but after doing my research, had kind of expected. And after checking with a few friends, they’d all converted over to synthetic oil.

Nikki gave me the price and assured me that besides the oil change they’d check all my car’s vitals: fluid levels, belts, tire pressure, wipers and more. And gratefully, they filled up my wiper fluid, because I don’t even know the difference between the wiper fluid and anti-freeze compartments. The car was remedied in an hour and the report came back that my car was still in mint condition, now with converted to synthetic oil, and all vitals reported fine. I felt peace of mind about my car, and that I now had a place to take my car that I could feel secure about the service and integrity and honesty and friendly service at Mr. Automotive. Sadly, nobody there recalled knowing my husband, but I’d landed in the right place anyway.

©DGKaye2022

#Social Media Etiquette, Rant, and a Surprise.

A social rant and a sign from heaven.

Today I wanted to talk about social media etiquette, and often – the lack of it. As I spend a few hours a day on social media, I’ve been noticing so many more spammy comments – particularly with the bombardment of messaging personal DM (direct messages). We already know Fakebook is notorious for this, but I’ve noticed DM spam ever-growing in my LinkedIn and Twitter accounts specifically.

On Twitter and LinkedIn, I’m getting a boatload of ‘buy my book, watch my video, subscribe to my website’ DMs. Quite frankly, I barely ever check those messages because they are a waste of my time.

On Fakebook, I’ve left the few grief groups I joined because the amount of messages I’ve been getting from sicko losers who prey on widows, hitting on us, is absolutely disgusting. Not to mention, I am once again banned from using Fakebook for a week, basically, because there really is no free speech there. Oh, um, let me correct that. There is free speech for evil if you are on the ‘right side’ of Fakebook. Apparently, you can freely post your convictions and hatred proudly if you are in with the QAnon, Proud Boys, and White Supremacy crowd. But when a post asks your opinion on a political issue that the Fakebook Big Brother monitors don’t agree with, you get banned. Honestly, I hate that site with a passion. Sadly, like most big corporations that get us in their strangle holds because there is nowhere else to connect with friends, we as writers, are stuck there.

On a brighter note, my girlfriend came to visit me on Saturday. When I walked her down to her car parked in the vacant spot beside my car that used to be my husband’s spot, she asked me if I noticed something on my car window.

The back window of my car.

There it was, clear as day, a heart drawn on my window. As I attempted to wipe it off, I discovered it was done from the inside of the window, it didn’t rub off. Nobody has been in my back seat for over a year. My beautiful husband has left me yet another sign he is with me. 💓💚💙

©DGKaye2022

#Bloganuary – What Emoji(s) Do You Like to Use?

What a fun prompt. As I don’t have the fortitude or time right now to hop on to every daily WordPress #bloganuary challenge, this is one topic I thought would be fun to join in with – What emoji(s) do you like to use?

As a person who is naturally animated when she speaks, emojis are always an accompaniment to all my posts and comments – as many of you know. For me, they are accessories to punctuation and emotions. For many in my closer circles, I will add a heart and at the very least, I’ll always add a smiley face after commenting. For me, it’s like speaking to someone while wearing a smile.

Image by Serena Wong from Pixabay

Emojis are used to add fun and expression of feelings and emotions. I’m inclined to think that people who use them are also people who like using their hands in animation to convey expression. That would definitely be me. I use them in comments and social media, and even sometimes on a post. ❣

😊😍🦄🦋🧡

If you’d like to join in and/or receive the daily question prompts from WordPress, find the rules below:

  1. Add the bloganuary tag to your post.
  2. Promote your blog post on social media, using the hashtag #bloganuary.

If you have any questions or want to discuss ideas, join the Bloganuary community site.

©DGKaye2022

Colleen’s Weekly Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge at Word Craft

Today I’m back, hopping on to another of Colleen’s weekly poetry challenge. Choose which style of syllabic poetry we like, using SYNONYMS only for the words: FAMILY and PEACE. I’ve written a Haibun with a Haiku.

 

WELCOME TO TANKA TUESDAY!

 

 

Are you ready to choose some syllables to use in your syllabic poetry this week? Ruth, from RuthKlein’s Scribbles, selected your two words:

 

Family & Peace

On the Monday recap, I’ll select someone to choose next month’s theme. For this poetry challenge, you can write your poem in the forms defined on the cheatsheet OR from the forms found on Poetscollective.org. You can read the full post at Colleen’s blog.

 

~ ~ ~

 

teardrop

 

Oxymoron

 

In my world, these two words are a major confliction; family and peace in the same story. A tricky combination.

 

People misconstrue

Not all blood relationships

Provide harmony

 

 

Visit Colleen’s original post for more rules and how to submit.

 

©DGKaye2021

 

 

The Mystery Blogger Award Nomination | Stevie Turner

 

Stevie Turner has recently been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award and is passing the torch to some fellow bloggers. Stevie kindly nominated me for this award. I wasn’t quite sure why I was chosen for a mystery writer award, but quite often I can be mysterious, lol, but seriously, I clicked  on the link of the creator of this award  and he explains eloquently what prompted the idea for the award :

 

WHY DID I CREATE THE AWARD?
I created the award because there are a lot of amazing blogs out there that haven’t been discovered, yet. And, most of these blogs deserve recognition. For that reason, I decided to create my own award; and nominate people who can also nominate others; and so on. This is one of the best ways to create a friendly community and build a link between bloggers in the blogosphere; as everyone gets nominated and they too can spread the fun by nominating more people for the award.

I decided to call the award “Mystery Blogger Award.” Why? Because the meaning of my name, “Enigma” is “mystery.” So basically, it’s named after myself; the creator. Plus, I think it’s cool because there are so many blogs that are still a mystery to us; and when we get to know them, it’s divine! And we find friends where we least expect.

WHAT IS MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD?
Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.
– Okoto Enigma

 

Mystery Blogger Award

Image by Okoto Enigma

So thanks again Stevie, lol.

 

Now For The Rules For Accepting Award:

  • Display the award logo on your blog.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention Okoto Enigma, the creator of the award.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • Answer 5 questions from the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 10 – 20 bloggers.
  • Notify your nominees by leaving a comment on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice, including 1 weird or funny question.
  • Share the link to your best post.

 

5 Things About Myself:

I’m gluten/dairy intolerant

I’m craving sunshine – bigtime!

I want to move to Mexico

 

Here are Stevie’s 5 questions to answer:

  1. Do you find it difficult to come up with interesting topics to blog about?

Not at all. I did in the beginning of my blogging life, until I discovered there’s so much to write about from just daily living and events in the world.

 

    2. Where do you find inspiration for your blog posts?

In daily life and from books and articles I read.

 

    3. What’s the best thing about Christmas?

The atmosphere when people are feeling a little more festive and reflective and tend to show more goodwill toward others.

 

    4. Would you eat a worm if you knew you would be a 

       millionaire after you’d eaten it?

I can’t even imagine that, just too gross. Hmm, a toughie for sure, lol.

 

    5. A TV dinner or caviar and champagne?

I don’t like caviar and don’t care for champagne, so at the best of choices left, I’ll choose a TV dinner – but it has to be of the healthy variety or I won’t even eat that.

 

As many of you already know, I like to share my awards with my fellow bloggers, because we are all unique and deserving. Also, I know it’s holiday time and many of us are slowing down on blogging for now. So below are my questions, and if any of you feel motivated to hop on and join in, welcome! If you’d like to just add any of your answers in comments, they are welcomed too.

 

Here are my 5 Questions:

Now go forth and tell us three things about yourself, and answer these 5 questions:

 

What’s up next in your reading list?

Are you dying to get vaccinated and go travel?

Do you have any advice for a new blogger?

Can you drive a stick shift? (I can’t, don’t even ask about my one and only lesson)

What are your plans, if any, to connect with family over the holidays?

 

Visit Stevie’s post to read her answers: The Mystery Blogger Award | Stevie Turner

 

Award Source:

Okotoenignmasblog.com

 

©DGKaye2020

 

Happy Holidays

 

Facebook Foibles – Spying, Judgment and Privacy Invasion Galore!

 

I received a warning, doesn’t say for what, but my account “could be restricted” if I violate again. Violate what? Will I be sent to Facebook jail yet again?

 

I search around in my scrolling and reading, clicking away, sharing posts then I find that a post I shared in a private  group, from a reliable source on Facebook, or quite possibly, one I’ve shared from a writer friend, was deemed false and marked on the post ‘content not available’. But that’s not enough. There must be warnings to threaten me as a punishment for sharing such posts that despite showing up on other pages as perfectly legit – without being marked ‘content not available’ on those same articles. And oddly, I’m never told why an article on writing I may have shared from a friend’s blog is deemed false. False because why? How about an explanation besides “article deemed inappropriate”? A book review is not inappropriate, among many other nonsensical rulings.

Funny how posts linger on some pages, and when others share the same post, they get reprimanded from Fakebook. What’s good for the goose is apparently, not good for the gander. If the Fakebook police don’t like it, remove it and move on, even though you’re invading my ‘private group’ space and freedom of thought and speech. Spare me your idiotic messages about why you push your authority, warning me I’m on probation (once again), and putting people in Fakebook jail timeouts. Almost not surprising coming from a site that has a difficult time promoting democratic ads and plays politics with the opposition .

Just Sayin'

 

There is no privacy on Fakebook. Most of us know this, yet, there we still are, while they sell our personal info to 3rd parties – where most of those ads come from that follow us. Many of my close writing friends feel mutual sentiments about FB, yet we feel stuck there as a place to stay in touch and interact. Somebody needs to take them on and make a better site WITHOUT privacy invasion. MeWe is the closest to trying, and Sally, me and  Colleen and about a dozen other writers gave it a try for awhile, posting just as we always did on FB in various groups we set up. But I don’t think that site is ready for primetime because every group seems private, there’s no newsfeed, and keyword searches for a topic you may be interested seeing posts about, mostly just offer other groups to join, everything seems to be a private group you must join to be able to interact or read anything, that’s an epic fail. The concept is great, but there’s much left to be desired for the user. And then there is Liker.

Liker seems to be a social media site many EX Fakebook patriots have and are moving to by the droves. I’ve only just signed up there, and I’ve seen lots of posts via there prior, and yes, there’s a live newsfeed!. This is their slogan:

Liker is a smarter, kinder social network that is reimagining social media. “Our feed is fully customizable and filled with intelligent posts that are free of hate. We are the kinder, smarter social network .’

I kind of like the idea of freedom of speech without being censored or patroled. It seems like this site is growing daily and is user friendly, so I think I may venture getting more involved with it. Apparently, I’m not alone as a disgruntled Fakebook user, based on the many recommends I’ve read, and some of the comments I’ve seen on Liker:

 

Closed my FB account 2 days ago. Pushes Authoritarian rule and with Trump pushes dictatorship.

I’ve been in FB jail so many times, I can’t stay out for more than 15 days.”

In the past 6 weeks, I’ve been in FB jail for 3 days the first time, 7 days the second and I’m down to 19 days on the last 30 days. Guess what? FB is dead to me – just like Suckerberg.
..
Same here! I have been in FB jail 5X for 30 days for posting about tRump. My current suspension will not end till the 27th. When it does, I will notify all my friends and let them know I am on Liker and deactivating my FB.
..
They completely blocked me, forever… LOL!
..
..
Those were just a few of many people, like me, who’ve been repeatedly punished on FB by muting, reprimanding, and jailing, overtime. And oddly enough, my jailings haven’t even been about politcal posts – BUT WRITING POSTS! And I am not the only one in my circles this has happened to.
..
So now I’m asking if anyone here has joined Liker and if so, please share your experience there with us and let us know how else it differs from FB. Motivate me enough to want to start over again somewhere else. Thanks.
..
©DGKaye2020
bitmo live laugh love
..

 

Just Sayin’ – Pushing a Button For Sex? No Thanks!

Push a Button for Sex?

 

Seriously! I really saw this on an American entrepreneurial show – Shark Tank. As soon as I saw it, I was appalled, and it seemed the Sharks felt somewhat the same. Is there anything left for us humans that doesn’t require technology?

 

For those not North American, Shark Tank is an interesting show where a panel of wealthy branding business people have entrepeneurs come up to share their new business ideas or inventions where they hope one of the Sharks will like their idea and invest money into it and promote it. Let me tell you, there are some great inventions on that show – but there are some others that make me go hmm?

A couple had invented an app that allows you to alert your partner when you’re ‘in the mood’. Yes! You read that correctly!  Hey there’s nothing more stimulating for me than my partner alerting me he’s in the mood, so ready or not here he comes. Um, not from the world I live in. As far as I’m concerned, romance used to be initiated by contact, words, wooing or whatever means, but certainly just because my partner’s mobile phone buzzes me with a circular green light flashing on my phone to inform me he’s in the mood is an actual real turn off. ‘In the mood’ denotes to me just that – hey, I’m in the mood to get lucky, sure hope my partner can help out. Ya, oh so romantic. Not!

The fact that people actually invent this stuff is sad. Spontaneous sex is the best. If you have to use technology, use a vibrator. That way, you can do your own thing when you feel the urge without disturbing someone who is sleeping beside you. Sheesh, I thought booty calls were bad enough, but sending your own partner in the same bed as you a flashing green light message  that you’re ready for sex sounds a little too robotic for my taste.

Why do people have to keep re-inventing the wheel? There are just some things that a machine cannot do and cannot replace, such as the human touch.

 

Yes or No?

 

There’s a reason it’s called romance. Romancing by way of the heart, mind and touch is what excites and stimulates a person’s senses with desire, which might be old fashioned, but prompts a natural response and is the ultimate enhancer for initiating the process to get in the mood. A buzzer call only tells me someone’s horny and needs someone to relieve them. Not exactly what I’d call a turn on.

Who agrees?

 

©DGKaye2020

bitmo live laugh love

 

 

Spying – The Story about House Hunting While Being Watched

I recently wrote a post about protecting our privacy while using digital devices. And at the end of that post, I cautioned to be particularly careful when viewing properties while house hunting because I had encountered a weird situation with a spy camera in one of the properties we ‘almost’ purchased. A few people indicated to me they were curious to know what happened. So today, I’m going to share that incident.

 

We had just sold our big ranch bungalow and weren’t quite sure yet where we wanted to move – buy another single detached home, rent somewhere for awhile until we decided, or perhaps a townhouse bungalow not far from our home, which was part of a condo development, meaning there’d be monthly maintenance fees for care of the properties (also known as HOA fees in the U.S.).

We decided to take a look at the semi-detached bungalow development.

At the time our real estate agent was a friend of ours, her name was Ro. Ro was a go-getter agent, unabashed, and knew her business well. She never held back from what she wanted to say or ask of a client or a potential seller. Ro was a loud and boisterous person and when she spoke, there was no volume control.

Ro drove us over to have a look at the bungalow. It really was a beautiful development for the ‘over 50 crowd’ – a number I was soon approaching but still not comfortable with the idea of moving into a quiet lifestyle. Ro mentioned that many of the residents chose this development because the properties were looked after by the corporation, which left no worries for many of the snowbirds to fly away for the winter knowing their homes would be looked after on the outside. This was appealing to my husband who was getting ready for his first retirement.

Ro fumbled with the lockbox for a bit, then finally we were in. The first thing I noticed in that rather nice layout of a home was its untidyness as dishes were in the sink and lingerie was sprawled out, hanging to dry in the laundry room and beyond. I remarked to Ro how someone could have a showing in their home and keep it in disarray. Ro loved to talk and I’m no sloucher when it comes to conversation, so I shudder to think about all we talked and laughed about during that tour, besides what we later discovered we did talk about.

I know for sure, we freely discussed selling price, possible offer prices, definite changes needed to update to the house, and most likely, shared a couple of snarky comments about some of things we saw that were in bad taste. Then we went down to the games room and bar in the basement.

Ro and I were both thorough gals. We didn’t leave too much unturned when visiting homes. I was a seasoned house shopper and wasn’t shy about opening cupboards and such to check out all the space of nooks and crannies. Then Ro and I walked into the downstairs bathroom. It was fairly dark as we both had trouble finding the newfangled light switch. But we proceeded to walk into the bathroom, guided by the hallway light. Then Ro pulled back the shower curtain and we both screamed in terror.

In the dark, we both instantaneously screamed at the sight of a leg. Ro let go of the curtain and we bolted out still screaming. We were sure there was a dead body in the shower!

Hubby came down to the basement from wherever he was inspecting once he heard our primal screams. The three of us searched for the bathroom light, turned it on, and hubby braved us both and ripped back the shower curtain. It was a prosthetic full leg leaning against a corner of the shower wall. Holy crap!

Oh no!

 

My heart was still beating at what felt 100 times its pace from the initial horror we’d thought we’d encountered when I shouted “Who the #$#$ does that? Leaving a lone leg stashed in a shower in a dark basement when they’re showing their home? There was plenty more conversation, talk of asking price way too much, and a few nasty remarks made by all three of us before we’d left the home.

Despite the madness we encountered, and the disarray of the home, the house held potential for us and we’d gone back for another two looksees before we’d decided that we should really put an offer on that home. After lots of negotiating on price and terms, including – always, the escape clause – we had one week to get the house inspected, and if we’d found anything we didn’t like from the report, we could bail.

We had the house inspection done a day later, two days before we were scheduled to leave for a week to Las Vegas. We were relieved to know we could go away without worrying about where we were going to live. That was until I got a text message from my real estate lawyer to give her a call on our second day in Vegas.

Back then – ten years ago, a Canadian hardly used their cell phone to make calls while out of country because of the exorbitant phone bill, so I ran over to the pay phone section just adjacent to the casino floor in the Paris hotel to call my lawyer. She wanted to advise us about some of the condo corporation guidelines she’d gone through and wanted to point out some possible additional costs that would come with purchasing the property. Turns out, expensive lawyer did all the necessary homework.

Apparently, there was going to be more involved moving into that development. Besides the purchase price and the stated monthly maintenance fees, it was discovered that when something goes wrong outside any of the homes, the money came from the monthly fees, but if a project was bigger and there weren’t enough funds, every household would be dinged for extra money. That development was due for new roofs at the cost to each homeowner to pay an additional $20,000 as well as an agenda coming due for all new windows. I gulped.

Hub and I discussed the fact that it was impossible to budget for old age not knowing when the corporation would hit us up for more money, and ultimately, we decided to bail. I called Ro and we discussed the days we still had left to back out after the inspection. I told her to make up some excuse we didn’t like about the inspection findings and to break the deal.

Later, after Ro broke the news to the owners, she mentioned that the husband went a bit off the walls in anger about what kind of crazy people we all were, while making idle threats we should watch our backs if we didn’t follow through.

A few days later, we were back home and hubby was outside on the driveway standing on a ladder, replacing a surprisingly broken light bulb over the garage door. I was puttering in my flowerbeds when I noticed a black SUV driving slowly past our house, and driving around the cul de sac to pass by a few more times. After about the 3rd pass, the man stopped his car, rolled down his window and shouted, “You wouldn’t want to be falling off that ladder now, and you should keep your eye out for more broken lights to come.” He continued ranting on about our ‘dirty trick’, putting an offer on his house that we asked to visit three times before putting an offer on, wasting his time and repeated some of the comments I shared with Ro while in his house. He then laughed eerily and loud, and added the ‘leg’ shenanigans in the shower was priceless to him.

I darted into the house and called Ro to let her know what just transpired and asked her to call his agent and to let him know if there was to be one more threatening visit we’d be calling the police.

Nothing more ever came from the man, but needless to say, I remained leery for quite some time whenever a black SUV drove down our street. We ended up buying a single detached home a few weeks later.

The scary man and house adventure taught us a few things. First and foremost, we’d learned that with the advent of digital technology, to never lose our guard with future home purchases and to keep our house comments, questions and price conversations for once outside any home we viewed, and to never forego a house inspection because it affords us time for buyer’s remorse. Buyer beware!

 

Do you have any house hunting horror stories you’d like to share?

 

©DGKaye2020

bitmo live laugh love