Category: My Two Cents

Eyes Watching

The Eyes Have It – How Many Eyes are Watching Us?

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Scary Alexa – Digital Footprints – All eyes on us

 

Lord knows with the amount of time I spend on the computer, I’m enabling my digital footprints to stretch far and beyond.  We’re caught in a web of  our personal lives, living somewhere in the digital library of bits and pieces of everyone, somewhere. We are losing that ability to remain anonymous as digitalization progresses. Privacy is quickly becoming obsolete in today’s digital world.

 

 Do you ever think about the fact that anytime we go out in public we are susceptible to being videoed and/or recorded?  Anyone, anywhere can take our picture and use it however they deem. Nary a public place is without a camera for their ‘security’ purposes, but nonetheless, we’re recorded. Personally, I feel there’s wayyyyyy too much information for strangers to have access to and then to do what they please with it. I don’t like it!

Maybe we’re just getting too complacent and don’t pay enough attention to it anymore, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.  There is nowhere safe anymore it seems. And this isn’t just about once we step into the outside world, but we invite the same into our own homes – some unknowingly and others quite willingly. Just think about all the digital gadgets we all have in our homes. From computers with webcams and microphones to our phones tracking our every move, and Smart TVs – there are potentially eyes on us if we  don’t remain cognizant about smart digital use such as turning off mics and covering up webcams when not in use.

And as if we don’t have enough technological spyware following us, enter Alexa.  I refuse to have one in my home. I feel there’s enough ‘big brother’ going on in our personal lives and I’m doing my best to keep from being spied on as best I can in the cyberworld, but let’s face it, if we work on computers daily, the best we can do is help minimize the invasions.  All these digital methods come with way too much convenience in exchange for our digital footprints being sold to third parties to be shared, often exploited, and lord knows who else, so they can follow us around on our digital apparatus and flash advertising at us.

The way I see it is, if I have a computer, Ipad and cell phone  within reach, do I really need to purchase an Alexa bot to move into my home so I can ask it to do things for me? Am I too lazy to Google something myself? Am I too lazy to press a button myself to turn on music or turn off a light? Do I really need to place an order on Amazon with a bot? The answer to all above are no. Besides, I’d much rather log onto Amazon and search around for things myself, and do price comparisons, and of course, read reviews before purchasing anything – not just a book.  I personally don’t enjoy a bot living in my home listening to everything that transpires in my life, my phone calls and personal discussions, because you can be sure it’s being stored in someone’s archives. No thanks. I’m not interested in living under surveillance more than I already must. And if the day comes that I’m too lazy to get off a couch to press a button, then there’s something really wrong.

Everything we can imagine is at our fingertips – literally.  Who would imagine with so many newfangled freedoms of technology we’d have to give up more of our privacy with everything we order, signup up for or merely browse. It’s the price we pay to be part of the digital movement. And if I can find ways to eliminate digital footprints I will.

So how do we attempt to keep the exposure down? Notice I said down, and not off, because in today’s world, if you have a digital gadget there’s never going to be a way to remain completely anonymous. But there are some things we can do to keep the invasion at bay:

 

  • Cover your webcams with a post-it-note
  • Turn off the mic on computer/tablets when there’s no need to use it
  • Turn off the location on your cell phones so Big Brother doesn’t follow you everywhere and only turn on when using maps for navigation
  • Sign out of your TV apps when not watching them
  • Use browsers that don’t track you like Opera or Duck Duck Go
  • Don’t leave your Alexa on all the time (if you must use one)

 

Another note of caution when house hunting – Beware when viewing properties. Many homeowners have their webcams or apps on their phones set up to view inside their homes while away, similar to Nanny cams. We don’t often think about these things when we’re in the moment and focused on the task of checking out a property, while it’s very likely the current owner has their cameras set up so they can listen to feedback from potential buyers. The days are gone where we can freely check a property and voice our concerns or comments without them being listened to. Pay attention to what you talk about while viewing, particularly, snarky comments and conversations about potentially placing an offer on the property. Save all that for once outside the home. Trust me, I have first-hand experience at this!

Do you have something you’d like to add to this conversation?

 

©DGKaye2020

bitmo live laugh love

 

What happened?

Just Another Rant – The Pant Rant

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Today’s post is another call for fairness for consumers. As someone who is a very organized and expertised shopper, I want to say something here to online businesses who oversell their stock, just like the airlines do with over-selling seats.

Wouldn’t it seem simple that when ordering an item from an online store and your order is confirmed that you should expect the delivery of your product? Ya, so did I. Wouldn’t it seem simple that when there are ‘x’ amount of items in stock that as each person orders one, the number available would go down by one in their system? Ya, that’s what I thought. But apparently, that’s not how they do things at TSC, our Canadian home shopping network.

Let me preface this by saying, I practically have a mortgage with this company. I’ve ordered from them for over 20 years, and although I’ve had my share of discrepancies with them over the years, this one just bites!

Over 3 weeks ago, one of my favorite clothing lines came on TSC. I’d found the perfect evening legging to complete an outfit I intended to wear last weekend.But I still never received them. I’d sent 4 intermittent emails to customer support inquiring as to where the hell my pants were – to no avail. Because, as usual, NO REPLY. When I went into my account to check on the status of the order, beside the item number was the word ‘backordered’. Backordered? WTF? As a seasoned shopper on that channel, I know full well the items that go first on airings. The pants I’d ordered were a popular item. I ordered those damned pants on the very first airing to lock in my order – OR SO I THOUGHT.

I placed my order, along with some other items, a few days later I received the other items – no pants! The receipt said ‘pants to follow’. This does happen occasionally that they will send a partial order and follow up a few days later with the balance. But no, not this time. I placed my order and immediately got notification, ‘thank you for shopping TSC your order has been placed.’ After a week had passed and no pants, I got suspicious. After checking my account order status and seeing backordered, I sent customer support an email. In fact over the course of another week I’d sent them 4 emails but AS USUAL they never replied.

Yesterday I started to get really concerned because I was counting on those pants to go with a jacket I’d purchased to wear to next weekend’s family Christmas party. Since I had no email reply, I went onto their Facebook page and messaged through there with my inquiry. The response was about as helpful as anything I’d received so far. So, I knew it was time to place a call.

After the usual 100 button pushing and waiting on hold for half an hour I finally spoke with a rep to ask where the hell my pants were. Yes, I admit, I wasn’t feeling very friendly. I received the typical ‘Oh, so sorry, the pants are sold out’. I lost it. And that’s when my rant began.

I asked her how a giant company like Rogers who owns half of Canada it seems, including our home shopping channel, doesn’t have an ordering system that serves the consumer. How on earth could my pants be sold out when I ordered in first airing and the pants remained on other airings as available for 2 days that followed? The hosts on that show display an ‘items left’ when they feature an item. On day 2 there were still ‘items left’ but somehow my friggin pants are SOLD OUT! The rep kept coming up with lame excuses amid her apologies, telling me that they were probably sold out before the airing. LOL I replied, are you kidding me, those pants were available for 2 days because I kept checking myself as I saw them as I was eyeing some other items.

“You oversold the item, just like the airlines do with seats!” I replied in a huff. How can such a big company run a business like this where people order an item and it’s not counted as sold automatically? How can a giant corporation like Rogers who owns them, have such a lame shipping system? She continued on trying to pacify me, apologizing that the item was no longer available and no more would be coming in stock. I was livid, and asked to speak to a supervisor. She told me there was no point because there were no items left and the item shouldn’t be showing in my cart. Oh really, and wouldn’t it have been nice IF I WAS INFORMED IT WAS OUT OF STOCK? More apologies, again for not receiving an email!

I told her I want to speak to a supervisor because I want to let them know that you can’t treat consumers like this. Eventually, I spoke to the higher up who again apologized profusely and tried  to tell me the same excuses the rep did. I set the record straight with her, letting her know this isn’t how to do business, their support is terrible, and stop telling me bullshit stories about stock. She retorted by telling me they send emails out when something is out of stock. I reminded her, just one more incompetent thing on them because I NEVER RECEIVED ANY EMAILS, other than when MY ORDER WAS CONFIRMED!

I’m a seasoned shopper there, I know how it all works.”You guys failed to deliver my product ordered first airing and those stragglers a day or two later who ordered received their pants and I didn’t.” I told her again how bad their stock strategy was and as a courtesy to the public I will be writing an article about this. That was when I got offered a credit on my account. But that was not enough to stop me from sharing this rant!

I am soooooooooo tired of big corporations. I’m tired of taking whatever is dished out from companies because our hands are tied and there’s nothing we can do when business isn’t done properly. No, my complaint didn’t magically make them come up with my pants, but I had hoped to instill some sort message to upper management that may miraculously be passed on to the powers that be. Yes, I got a credit, big deal, that didn’t give me my pants and that doesn’t justify their shit business policy and sorely lacking customer service. Just sayin’.

I know I’m not going to change the world single-handedly. But by speaking up, we have to let these companies know when they’re in the wrong. If nobody speaks up, nothing will ever change! We must keep them accountable!

Have any of you been chumped by bogus protocol with online ordering?

 

Copyright
© D.G. Kaye and DGKayewriter.com, 2014 – 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to D.G. Kaye

 

 

Democracy

The Important Role for Writers to Help Preserve Democracy

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I came across this article at the Times, written by Jennifer Egan – Pulizter prize winning author on “Why we need writers more than ever, our democracy depends on it.”

 

If it weren’t for the press, who would keep us abreast in a world fuel injected with fake news and social media propaganda? It’s the press who keeps check on issues and people who are making the news for reasons both bad and good. It’s the reporters and journalists who speak out on what’s wrong, calling out leaders who aren’t doing their jobs, calling out propaganda in the mainstream social media used to sway and spin and stir up shit. Propaganda was Hitler’s initial method for instigating his extermination plan. Now we have social media to assist as a huge method to capture headlines – both fake and real.

Egan states in her article, “A mediasphere designed for spectacle can’t be expected to fix the oversimplification it creates. We need writers for that, and we need them badly. Literature, like democracy, is built of a plurality of ideas.” She continues to speak on how every form of literacy creates a perception for the reader, which helps to instill empathy and explains how writers throughout the ages have had the ability to help overthrow repressive regimes.

 

“Literature is an antidote to the blunt distortions—good vs. evil, us vs. them—that are so easily exploited by those who would manipulate us.”

How many times have we seen on the news journalists around the globe risking their lives to report on some of the atrocities going on around the world and getting jailed or even killed for reporting a truth? And the reason for these crimes against journalists is merely because those authoritarian governments or people holding power feel threatened when publicly exposed. Writers, reporters, journalists write to keep the wrongs in the forefront for the public to watch and listen to, giving the public the chance to judge for themselves so as not to be lured and eluded by untruths.

scales of justice

 

Writers need to be writing to exploit injustices and to preserve democracy. When free speech is compromised, so is democracy. When did a party difference of right or left begin to replace right and wrong? Why does a simple tweet of calling something a hoax make it so just because a leader thinks he can cancel out facts by standing on the highest soapbox and shouting out the loudest. This does not make it so. And this does not negate all the fact finding the journalists and their inside sources who put their lives on the line for every day do to educate the public.

Lobbying

 

From my vantage point, as one who follows world politics closely, it appears like the world is in a battle with mankind. Greed is the number one reason for much of the state of the world. Big money corporations taking over for much of the world’s political climate because of the kickbacks they receive in return, a system of money going to money, the rich getting richer and the little guys paying for most of their sins through their own pockets. Who is there left to defend us middle class and low income earners? It’s the writers and reporters who keep us abreast of these issues, among many others. No, they can’t solve the world’s problems, but they certainly can shine lights on these issues to give us fair and truthful information, leaving us the readers, to discern on our own the reported discoveries.

The old adage, “You can lead a horse to water . . .” often occurs when facts are offered up but many sheeples prefer to follow the masses, not doing their own homework on the state of their environments, societies and even their countries. If you’re on social media a lot like I am, you can read all the messaging from good vs. evil. There are people calling out injustices and others pushing them. And if we aren’t well informed on truthful facts, it’s so easy to get caught up in the world of fakes news and ill intentions. The era we are living in now globally is an era of uncertain times for sure. And uncovering the truth for every situation being exploited into the mediaverse are the gifts we receive from journalists around the world who are often sacrificing their own safety while getting to the heart of each matter.

Personally, I feel as though God is shaking his head at what man has done to his world. He watches with salty tears, but doesn’t interfere in our choices because we all have free will. But all the greed, anger, and propaganda floating around and shoved done our throats now seems to be at the breaking point of the proverbial camel’s back. I can’t help but think God has done it before; he’s wiped out the earth and started over with Noah’s Ark, only this time I don’t believe there’s an Ark to save us. By abusing mankind, our brethren, and our planet, it feels as though the Ark isn’t coming and if we don’t change course on these issues of injustice, we’ll be left behind to swim that creek with no paddles.

In the era in which we’re now living, changes happen swiftly – and most are not for the better. It’s too easy to fall prey to fake news because it’s manipulated to do just that. Those who may not have time to watch TV news, pick up an old fashioned newspaper, subscribe to an online factual newspaper, and those who listen strictly to propaganda news stations with distorted facts to sooth the wrong-doers, social media paid and sponsored ads created to target the uneducated are all rampant and attract those who easily fall prey to fake news. It’s up to each of us to pay a little more attention to what is going on in the world around us. It’s easy to take for granted the freedoms we’ve come to enjoy and expect. But when red flags are presented we should all be caring about reinforcing everything good that seems to be vanishing in our world like, courtesy, kindness, and compassion, and the very core of our freedoms.

Writers should be writing, and that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to write about world politics if that’s not our strong point. But writing books, articles, essays, and short stories are a great way to create empathy for the reader. Words that make people feel something, words that invigorate people to open up their emotions, words to invoke compassion, can all create new discoveries for a reader – no matter the subject content. Reading is education in a host of realms. It’s us as writers who can contribute to educating others, whether it’s to keep people factually informed, or to create an atmosphere with story to invoke thought or awaken hearts with compassion.

 

Times Source: https://time.com/5475490/writers-truth-democracy-jennifer-egan/?fbclid=IwAR3qWxKTWB9rW8s0QQeacT5WpjKkks8zVLXJAA320th_nHzFziUt75TbsRA

 

This short video is part of the Times article where journalists speak up for freedom of the press, and tributes to those journalists jailed and killed for speaking the truth. They are resilient and relentless to continue to report the truth.

 

 

 

Copyright
© D.G. Kaye and DGKayewriter.com, 2014 – 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to D.G. Kaye

 

 

Duh!

Just Sayin’ – People Who Just Don’t Get It

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Duh!

 

 

It’s been awhile since I posted a rant, and yesterday while in the hospital waiting for my gross and vile barium dose of radiation exam, I couldn’t get over the inconsideration of one person.

 

The patient area in the designated hospital area has people awaiting all sorts of glorious tests from CT scans to Angiograms and ultra sounds, all having patients (like me) eagerly and hungrily awaiting their turn and looking forward to getting our tests over with and having a meal. I’m not a real big foodie or anything, but I think there’s some psychological aspect to the rule of no eating after 10pm, waking early and waiting for 2 hours before it’s our turn that makes us think about food just because we can’t eat – or at least, a nice hot cup of coffee.

As I waited my turn, I kept busy reading on my Kindle when a young man walks into the patient waiting area with his steaming hot bag full of McDonald’s fries and some sort of a giant burger he pulled out and began eating voraciously. As the smell wafted through the area and his constant crinkling of the bag and the numerous wrappings taken off his food and scrunched back into the bag kept annoying my concentration, I shook my head in disbelief. All the other patients were eyeballing him just as puzzled as I was.

I couldn’t help but wonder if people don’t even think. It didn’t appear he was with anyone, or possibly he was waiting for someone to finish their test, but regardless, there is tons of seating throughout the hospital and if he couldn’t wait to eat, what the hell was he doing sitting with the hungry and the grossed out people like me trying to suck back my venomous glass of fake flavored chalk?

I continued to look up at him as he chomped furiously on his ‘happy meal’, and I’m quite sure it was when his eyes finally locked with my ‘death’ stare that he got the hint and scrunched up his noisy bag and took off while still chewing and special sauce dripping down his mouth.

 

No food allowed

 

The man was well into his twenties and should have known better. Have we really come to the point where hospitals need to post ‘no eating’ signs in patient waiting areas for gastrology testing. Really? I should think this would be common sense for anyone to know better not to have a feast in these designated hospital areas, but hey, common sense and courtesy seem to be missing in many places these days.

Time to bring back respect and compassion in more ways than one!

 

Just Sayin'

 

My two cents

My Two Cents – Rant of the Week – Stop Wasting My Time #BellCanada

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My two cents

 

One of the most irksome pet peeves I have is having to deal with my communication companies on an ongoing basis for wrong billings. And why is it that communications companies are notorious for their computer systems not running effectively?

 

Every time I make the slightest change to one of my services, ie: home phone, mobile phone, internet or cable TV, the next bill I receive is NEVER the correct amount. Why is this so irksome? Because after wasting hours on the phone with one of these providers to initially make the changes, and after receiving confirmation that my new bill will be just as promised, it never is.

Every time I have to phone one of these companies I almost need to take a Valium just to deal with these companies. In January I called my home phone/internet provider, Bell Canada, to let them know that I was leaving and no longer interested in making a mortgage payment to them. I got put through to loyalty, because of course they don’t want to lose us to the competition. Although I wasn’t thrilled about their offer of compensation, it was $35 cheaper than the current bill and being that I don’t have the head for this nonsense, I accepted their offer before I’m ready to tackle cutting off the home phone line altogether and moving my internet to my mobile/cable TV provider, Rogers, whom I have to admit, are far more generous with their customer service and savings.

I don’t need to share the expletives that came out of my mouth when I opened my Bell bill today and found it $40 higher than it should have been, knowing full well I’d have to leave my work aside and fight for my rights once again.

I am usually quite disciplined at holding back my temper while attempting to reach resolution, but today’s episode could not keep me from holding my tongue. Maybe it’s because of this flu I have going on day 6, maybe it’s because I’m tired of doing their job, and mostly because calling these people is a HUGE timesuck!

So I ventured the phone call and was greeted by a rep who grilled me first on my life story once again after having listened to a damned recording asking me all the same questions prior to him picking up the call where I awaited an answer for 15 minutes. I proceeded to let loose about the WRONG amount on the bill and the amount it should have been, mentioning all the notes and references to the previous call where this new price was set up in January. He asked me several questions as the clock ticked away and my anger rose, I told him to CHECK THE DAMN NOTES! This call went on for the better part of an hour where I had to leave my current work to investigate their mistake . . . again. I reminded him I don’t work for Bell, Bell doesn’t pay for my time and I’m tired of their incompetence. More apologies, more waiting. I stood and listened to the dead silence for 10 minutes before I asked. “Helloooooooo is anyone there???”

He replied, “Sorry Miss, our computers seem to be running so slow today,” something I hear every bloody time I have to call these companies.

I lashed out – “I don’t get it. Every time I call you people your computers are down or slow, what kind of communication company are you?  I work on the damned computer 18 hours a day and have no issues.”

He apologized over and over. I told him what the bill should be and that was all I was going to pay and that I was hanging up and he could deal with the issue that I had no time to wait for something I’m right about. He blabbed on about how great their service is and sometimes we have to pay more for that. I almost barfed, but responded, “I don’t really give a shit what goes on behind your scenes, I only know that I was guaranteed what my monthly bill should be and it’s not. I also told him that I feel sorry for the many customers who I’m sure don’t check their bills thoroughly and just pay them with bogus charges on them. Again silence.

By then I wanted to tear my hair out. But I left him on speaker phone and went back to the computer to work. Then the rep asks, “How is your weather there?” Really?????????? Like you really give a crap, just making small talk to fill in the long wait gap.

I didn’t say that but did respond with a gruff voice, “My weather is fine!” About 10 minutes later I hear, “Have you seen any good movies lately?” That was it for me. I exploded at him.

“NO, I don’t watch movies.” Of course that was a lie, but I wasn’t about to start idle chatter with him while I was trying to work because he couldn’t get his computer to locate all the notes on my account. I further added, “Look, stop asking me insignificant questions to fill in your dead air time. I’M BUSY! Do you think I’m actually sitting here for an hour waiting for you? I’m working while I wait!”

Yes, maybe I was harsh. but maybe I wasn’t. This isn’t a one off event with these companies. If people would do their jobs properly when deals are made, us consumers wouldn’t have to backtrack every time a new bill comes in and have to remind them what our bill should be.

Okay, I feel better now that I shared this, lol. But I do wish there was a solution to these nonsensical happenings. I wish companies would do their jobs properly, and at the very least. hire competent people in billing so we don’t have to waste our time chasing them down for their errors. Nobody there is paying for our time!

Just Sayin'

Do you guys check your bills with a fine toothed comb?

Healthy Tips

Have you Heard of ‘Spresso’ Socks? – No, not the Coffee!

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Healthy Tips for Your Legs

Healthy Tips

 

When my husband was in the hospital, a nurse had measured his legs – length, calf and ankle circumference, to fit him for what are named ’embolism prevention socks’. They look like white opaque thigh-high stockings that they put on him to to prevent blood clots from forming while lying in bed for extended amounts of time. I was already aware of the fact that sitting for a long time – particularly in a cramped airplane could promote a blood clot, but wasn’t aware that lying down for prolonged time could cause the same problem. But these particular stockings are for bedridden patients and those who are post surgery.

 

How do those stockings work to prevent blood clots or what is known as ‘deep vein thrombosis’?

The tightest part of the pressure begins at the ankle and lessens as the sock goes up. This is to keep the blood flowing back through the body to alleviate it from pooling around the legs. Blood has to work against gravity to flow back and circulate through the body. This is why the legs are measured – particularly focused on the ankle and calf to get the correct fitting stocking. These socks help reduce swelling in legs, help alleviate throb from painful varicose veins. It’s important that these stockings are fit correctly so they are not causing problems instead of alleviating them, this is why it’s important to measure ankle and calf circumference before purchasing. You can find more detailed information on how to use and measure compression socks HERE.

There are also various types of compression socks available that don’t go up to the thigh, but are more like a knee sock, or just over the knee. The older versions of these socks aren’t always beneficial because if they have bands at the top of the sock which counteracts the benefit of the compression with the easing of pressure as the sock gradually goes toward the knee. Many people wear these socks for traveling on airplanes, to alleviate edema in swollen legs, sitting for prolonged amounts of time even at home, pregnancy pressure on the legs, and even for standing long spans of time such as at work, hiking, or any other activity that keeps one of their feet for lengthy periods of time.

 

I had occasionally seen people wearing these types of socks. Some looked quite uncomfortable and not visually appealing, some looked like the band at the top were digging into the leg. And most of all these socks can be quite expensive, usually sold at a home care or medical supply stores, pharmacies or doctor’s offices. But ironically, after a few days of getting my husband home from hospital I was tuning into my local Shopping Channel station and they were advertising Spresso Socks as the special of the day for $29.99! Wow, that’s a deal, I was thinking. I continued to watch the show with the vast array of patterns and colors offered in these socks and then went onto the website to read reviews – I always read reviews before purchasing online, particularly for a new product.

The reviews were raving, and there were many of them. People have found those socks good for so many reasons, from using them for athletic sports to travel, to just sitting too much on their couches. And it got me thinking that perhaps I should get a pair myself to have on hand for my own next venture on an airplane and maybe even when I’m sitting on my computer for too many hours. I also thought I’d grab a few pairs for my hubby for his own long sits on his couch and just for everyday use.

Read more about Deep Vein Thrombosis and how to best avoid it from happening with compression socks HERE.

Read more about how compression socks work HERE.

From the time I drafted this post to posting, I received my purple Spresso socks. I love them. I tried them out one day while working at the computer for a few hours and I have to say after taking them off my legs felt refreshed. Now, I just have to get on an airplane and go somewhere!

Just Sayin'

What This Blog is Not – Just Sayin’ – Are You Receiving Strange Requests?

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Just Sayin'

 

Public service announcement. This blog is not an advertising page. I don’t sell Apple Iphones, in fact, I’m an Android user if you must know, and I am not a ghostwriter.

 

I’m astounded by the amount of requests I get from what used to be only from emails, but has grown to Twitter DMs and message requests at my Facebook author page now.  I wrote a post awhile back about requests from emails some of us receive requesting to post on our blogs. I used to receive one about every 2 weeks until the last 2 months when they’ve escalated to 2 to 3 per week. But it’s not only emails, now messages left for me on Twitter and Facebook are requesting I write books for them. Are you freaking kidding me? Does anyone ever bother doing their homework before asking a memoir writer to ghostwrite? Obviously not because they must think if you write in memoir, you write anyone’s memoir. It’s astounding the amount of people who have the gumption to leave messages and emails, especially annoying is no proper salutation, credentials, or just the plain nerve with some of the requests they leave.

 

Recently, The Story Reading Ape, Chris Graham shared a post where he  talks about a disclaimer he added to his contact page to try and dissuade some of these strange requests, and Chris offered anyone to copy his note on their own page. I added it to mine, and since doing so, it’s seems to have attracted more stranger offers than before. Seriously, why would I want someone I don’t know posting, hoping to sell something on my blog having no relevance to the product, not to mention, nothing in it for me or my readers?

 

These people need to do their homework before they keep pestering writers with blogs. They also need to look up the meaning of ghostwriter. It shows their ignorance when they haven’t even done their homework on how to find, let alone approach, a ghostwriter, instead of picking an author randomly and approaching them asking to write their stories. Heck, my own husband has occasionally thought it may be fun for me to write a book about his life experience selling cars. I told him to go find a ghostwriter LOL.

 

LOL

 

 

Is it just me, or anyone else here getting weird and annoying requests on a regular basis? Is there a sticker on my forehead that I’m not aware of?

The Other Inconspicuous Form of Bullying – Emotional Bullying

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Emotional Bullying

 

We’ve all heard stories about bullying, It happens in homes, schools, and on the internet. But what about a form of bullying in our every day lives we may be experiencing ? Often these symptoms aren’t recognized or more often, not even considered a form of bullying.

 

This often deceptive hidden form of bullying can occur through the way some people interact with friends or loved ones. When people talk down to others, making them feel insignificant, threatened or forced to abide by what is being directed at them, that is bullying.

 

Is there anyone in your life that responds to a heartfelt request from you with assertion or aggression demanding their way is better and all negotiations are off the table? Do you have someone in your circles who calls all the shots when it comes to making plans and out of a sense of not wanting to stir conflict you pacify their demands just to keep the peace? That’s bullying too. Why do we continue to remain in the circles of these confrontational, demanding people? Is it because we’re intimidated by them, don’t want to create waves in our relationships with them or are we just accustomed to the relationship as it is?

 

I can certainly attest to having being a subject of some of these somewhat toxic relationships in my own life. The people who make the plans, not wanting feedback but expecting everyone in the group to comply is a common factor in many relationships. There always seems be one of those leader types who wants to lead the pack by their decisions without debate. It’s easy to fall prey to these people especially if we are compassionate or sensitive souls who don’t wish to challenge directives with countering suggestions of our own. These types of relationships are not healthy. Whether we are easily intimidated or just wishing to keep the peace, we have to discover methods which allow us to stand up for our own thoughts or at the very least make changes to slowly distance ourselves from these dominating personality types.

 

So how do we handle these dominating people in our lives? First, it’s important to stand up and feel confident about what we would like to request. It’s perfectly okay to state our opinions and make alternate suggestions if we disagree or feel we have something better to suggest. If our ideas are shot down, we need to ask why. Perhaps we’ll discover that our suggestion may not have been the best idea, but with posing the question and stimulating a discussion we at least get to weigh out options. On the other hand, if the person we’re trying to have this discussion with is adamant that her decision is final and there’s nothing to discuss and this is the ongoing pattern with her then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.

 

In healthy friendships and relationships, we should be able to have a good two-way conversation with each other. But if we find we are constantly being shot down for our ideas and what we say never seems to be taken into consideration by these people then these aren’t the people we need to have in our circles. Granted, when it comes to family relations it is more difficult to sever ties sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we have to socialize with these people. And in the event we are forced to congregate at a family function, it may be best to just keep our opinions zipped if it’s going to cause chaos within the family unless of course, we’ve had our fill of ongoing confrontations, then it may be time to exit.

 

But when it comes to friendships and acquaintances, we do have a choice. We don’t have to be rude, but we can state our opinions, explain why we feel a certain way and try to open up a dialogue to make our points. If the person we are conversing with isn’t open to opinions on a constant basis, it may be time to take that exit walk. This also applies to those energy suckers we tend to collect in our lives. These are the people who have nothing to give of themselves – a compliment, an ear to listen or any interest in how we are feeling. We can’t always change people but we have the power to change ourselves and realize when people around us aren’t offering anything positive to our lives we need to shed them.

 

We all have the freedom of speech. But that doesn’t give people rights to dominate other people’s thoughts or lives. Respect is essential in all relationships in order for them to be healthy ones. Knocking people’s ideas and thoughts and making them feel inferior is just one more form of emotional bullying. If we treat people and their opinions with respect, we should expect it in return. And if we’re not getting it after discussing the issue with them it’s a good indicator that it’s time to move on.

 

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