Category: Twenty Years: After “I Do”

D.G. Kaye books

New Reviews for D.G. Kaye Books and Paperback is now Live for Fifteen First Times

Published on by dgkaye48 Comments

It may be a shameless promotion, but I don’t do it often, and since I just released my new book Fifteen First Times, a week ago, I was thrilled to find some have already read, enjoyed, and reviewed it. I also picked up a few other beautiful reviews for three of my other books, and am thrilled to share. I am also thrilled to announce that my book, Fifteen First Times is NOW AVAILABLE in Paperback.

And thank you to Carol Balawyder – https://carolbalawyder.com/2022/12/19/d-g-kaye-fifteen-first-times/comment-page-1/#comment-27072 and Marjorie Mallon – https://mjmallon.com/2022/12/20/book-review-fifteen-first-times-pokercubster-memoir-review/ and D.L. Finn – https://dlfinnauthor.com/2022/09/12/september-book-reviews-part-2-bookreviews-whattoread-readersoftwitter-writingcommunity/ and Sally Cronin – https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2022/12/21/smorgasbord-christmas-book-fair-book-review-memoir-fifteen-first-times-beginnings-a-collection-of-indelible-firsts-by-d-g-kaye/comment-page-1/#comment-651625, for sharing their lovely reviews of my new book on their blogs.

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Fifteen First Times

D.L. Finn‘s review

Dec 16, 2022

it was amazing

“Fifteen First Times” is a group of personal stories told in a humorous yet perceptive manner. It felt like I was sitting with Ms. Kaye having a cup of tea while she shared some of her life stories. I found it easy to relate to a first kiss, first heartbreak, or first-time driving. It got me reflecting on many of my firsts and how I navigated life after. The author’s strength, fashion sense, and humor shined through the words, painting a picture of her moments. This is a book of youthful reflections and what we can learn from all our firsts. There was also a loving dedication to her departed husband that touched my soul. This is a beautiful collection of coming-of-age stories I can easily recommend.

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marjorie mallon

5.0 out of 5 stars Personal, funny and emotional memoir

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 December 2022

Fifteen first times is a lovely memoir by D G Kaye. Reading it I recalled many of my first times too! In this short memoir, she mentions memories such as her diets, first kiss, colouring her hair, Christmas tree, first apartment, getting her driving licence, travel to Israel and Europe and much more. It is a personal, and relatable collection which I enjoyed.

I think it would be enjoyed by all and in particular bloggers, writers (a lot of the content is female centric such as the short section on first period!) This is a topic that needs to be spoke about openly! So hats off to D G Kaye for being so honest sharing her personal memories.

She also shares her sadness at loss of several family members, a dear friend Alba and her much loved husband.

So, at times humourous, sometimes poignant, a sneak peak into the author’s life.

A recommended read.

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Review by Sally Cronin

My review for the book December 21st 2022

The author has a natural conversational style of writing that draws you in as if she is talking to you personally. Her memories prompt the reader’s own experiences at similar ages, and raises a smile or two at the similarities between girls of a certain age, however many thousands of miles they live apart.

This is particularly true in this collection of stories as Kaye shares episodes from her childhood such as playing in her mother’s stiletto shoes which would fuel a lifetime’s love of footwear, a first kiss, and taking that first puff of a parent’s discarded cigarette.

With the smiles comes the tears, as we identify the moments of loneliness and isolation as a girl becomes a woman without the support needed from a mother, a dysfunctional family life, and the loss of a much loved friend who shared the formative years between teens and late twenties.

At the end of the collection is a wonderful tribute to her late husband, who made her laugh every day and was the first and last love of her life.

D.G. Kaye writes with poignancy but also great humour, which makes these first times all the more delightful and memorable. The experiences are not just relevant to girls growing up, as many are relateable to boys and young men coping with the cultural and social expectations of the day, and finding their way in life and relationships. Take a walk down the memory lane of your own life in very good company. Highly recommended.

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https://carolbalawyder.com/2022/12/19/d-g-kaye-fifteen-first-times/comment-page-1/#comment-27072
by Carol Balawyder

Our experiences are stepping stones for much of what feeds our character. We live, we experience, we learn, we become, and we overcome.

I always look forward to reading D.G. Kaye’s books because I know they will be authentic, witty, and compelling.

Throughout D.G. Kaye’s latest memoir, she draws her readers in by sharing her past experiences. A reader can easily relate to fifteen real talk stories that cover topics such as her obsession with shoes, her hilarious experience with her first Christmas tree, her disastrous experiment with changing from blonde to redhead, her first kiss, and many more firsts, at times bittersweet, including the death of a close friend.

 In particular, I found her tribute to her beloved husband to be so very touching. She writes how no man could make her laugh. In the past laughter for her “could mask so many scars, aches, and insecurities….It was always me making someone else laugh…That was until I met my husband. Here was a man who made me laugh.”

During this Christmas season, if you’re feeling stressed like many of us are, I highly recommend this book. Relax and give yourself this gift for the holiday season. Your heart will likely smile as you reflect on some of your firsts and take a journey down your own memory lane.

xxx

P.S. I Forgive You - D.G. Kaye

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P.S. I Forgive You

Reviewed by Mac Trish (Alex Craigie) Dec. 12, 2022

This book is a painfully honest account of the author’s fractured relationship with her narcissistic mother.

Throughout Ms Gies’ childhood and into adulthood, her mother not only neglected her and her three siblings, but also ate away at their self-esteem and terrorized them into obedience. The mother’s volatility, frequent absences, lack of interest in their achievements and lives, and the exploitation, punishments and bare-faced lying made for a nightmare scenario that
was endured with a loyalty that in the end became so severely strained, it shattered.


It is clear that the author did everything she could to understand and excuse her mother’s behaviour. It is also clear that she was desperate for her to demonstrate some motherly affection, but none was forthcoming. The hateful responses and the game-playing took such a toll that in the end, in a desperate attempt for self-preservation, she cut her mother out of her
life. ‘I crested the wave of poison my mother tried to drown me with, and I snapped’.


The empathy Ms Gies had for her parent clearly made the situation very painful for her. When it became clear that her mother was dying, she struggled with her feelings, but she couldn’t bring herself to go to her because she was afraid of being damaged yet again by another of her vicious barbs.


After the death, came the soul-searching. I found the turmoil the author facedheartbreaking. ‘Guilt doesn’t subside; it resides in the hidden nooks and crannies of our hearts’. She did all she could to try and understand what had made her mother like this, but there were no easy answers. In the end, she knew that she couldn’t rest herself unless she
could forgive her mother and release her own bitterness and resentment. She writes ‘So I set her free of her sins, and in turn I set myself free’.


This is a beautiful book and one that had a profound impact on me. It is to the author’s credit that she takes such an honest and candid approach. It is truly remarkable that she was able to forgive someone who had hurt her so badly.

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Have Bags Will Travel reviewed by D.L. Finn

This was a quick, fun read for all those adventurous souls who love to travel or read about it. It took us back to days of more effortless traveling, to current times when there’s a lot more involved. Told in a personal, humorous tone, I immediately connected to the antidotes told. I’m glad I’m not the only one who over packs and then had to pay for it when checking the luggage. I shook my head, knowing how hard it is to get traveling purchases home in luggage — and through customs. Luckily, I’ve only had my bags searched once. I can’t imagine being a target when I came back to my country. I thoroughly enjoyed this; it not only made me want to travel but long for the good old days when planes offered more room. This ends with some sound advice for traveling that includes a luggage scale. An excellent read for travelers!

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Twenty Years by D.G. Kaye

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Twenty Years: After “I Do”

Pete Springer

Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2022

Verified Purchase

Twenty Years: After “I Do” is a memoir by D.G. Kaye regarding her 20-year marriage to Gordon, a kind man 20 years her senior. While I believe the author wrote this book for people in a similar situation that have a spouse considerably older or younger, I think it is an essential read for any married couple.

Having read previous books by this writer, I knew I would get honesty and humor—two elements that make any read better. Kaye doesn’t try to sugarcoat anything and describes the many challenges married partners face, particularly in her situation, having a much older husband.

Some priceless nuggets included the importance of a sense of humor, communicating about and listening to each other’s problems, giving each additional space to follow individual hobbies and passions, and being flexible enough to take on different roles over the years.

I liked that there were so many relatable topics—health challenges, hearing loss, and depression, just to name a few.

xxx

https://www.facebook.com/WritingBad

©DGKaye2022

Bitmo Sunday book review

Sunday Book Review – #Shameless #Promotion – New Reviews for D.G. Kaye Books

Published on by dgkaye69 Comments

Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. As many of you know, I share a book I’ve read here weekly with my review. I always like to share a good book, paying it forward, and give the author some recognition. For this week’s review, I’m going to take the liberty to share some new-ish reviews I’ve been meaning to share, for my own books. As we all know, reviews are both golden currency for an author, plus, sharing them is a shoutout thank- you to the readers who take the time out to review our books.

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I found this lovely review at Mark Bierman’s blog below.

Source: Review of A Conflicted Heart: A Daughter’s Quest For Solace From Emotional Guilt, by D.G. Kaye – Mark Bierman

If there was ever a story that gives a perfect example of peeling away the protective layers in which many of us enshroud ourselves, you’ve just found it.

D.G. courageously shares her story of being raised by an emotionally, and often physically, distant mother and the damaging consequences. I think most of us read stories to connect with the characters, and I found myself highly engaged with the younger D.G., as she tries to navigate through the emotional turmoil of her mother’s rejection; no child should ever have to go through that.    

In spite of her mother’s alienation, D.G. does find strong supporters, within her family and in romantic partners. The reader cannot help but feel relief and joy every time these people turn up in her life.

I grew to admire D.G.’s resilience, kind heart, and appreciated her brutal honesty. The pages are choc full of valuable life lessons.

Life is rarely fair, but there are bright spots that we can soak up, and D.G. is certainly one who has learned to do just that. No one is spared from disappointment and varying degrees of trauma. We all need to find our ‘people’ who will support us.

I recommend this book to anyone with a pulse.  

I’m giving this book, FOUR STARS!  

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Martha Perez, thank you for sharing your reviews on your many social platforms. This one is on Goodreads.

Review of Twenty Years from Martha Perez

Martha Perez 5.0 out of 5 stars HEARTFELT MEMOIR  Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2022

Twenty years started with a promise. D.G. Kaye had no limits for the love of her life.
A heartfelt personal memoir is written beautifully by the author D.G. Kaye. This story is my favorite book by far this year. She shares taking the plunge and commenting on the love of her life, and truth be told, we never could predict the future. Gorden is a lot older than D.G. Kaye. I could feel her worrisome mind. She did take the chance.

The way she talked about her husband and the unconditional love between them is beautiful, even though a marriage is a lot of work. Each chapter of her words was the good, the bad, and the ugly, but her life with Gorden was a lovely daily sprinkle of glitter with love, laughter, stability, health-giving and age differences, respect, and lots of honey past, today, and future.

The author talks about the strength of the struggles they both endured, yet they embrace handling life together with love, kindness, and creative planning.

Kaye is Awe-inspiring with her sincere overpowering words that touch my heart and soul. Life is not perfect; by reading her love story, I could honestly say she came close to the happiness that people wait for a lifetime with faithfulness, honoring their vows to smile and laugh at the end of the day.

The simple things in life are watching the sunset, having morning coffee together, hugs, and making love are a lot more than the little things in a couple’s life. I truly loved reading this book. I learned from others and my own mistakes. The author’s story is a touching and beautiful tribute to her marriage.

Keeping a marriage together and having compassion in everyday life is an emotional task; they choose to handle their day-to-day lives gracefully and in harmony. I highly recommend the extraordinary book. 

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Martha Perez posted on Goodreads.

Martha Perez’s Review

Jul 15, 2022

D.G. Kaye is back, and as she reflects on some of her more memorable vacations and travel snags, she finds herself constantly struggling to keep one step ahead of the ever-changing guidelines of the airlines—with her overweight luggage in tow.

I have to say I enjoyed reading this book. When I traveled had the same dilemma overweight luggage baggage charges have become an excess headache. I was glad to know I wasn’t the only one going through this madness.

And when travelers are compulsive shoppers, when nothing fits in our suitcases, that could become a problem. Read and learn. The author gives you an insight into her own experience and shares with us the stratagem of how to fit everything in a suitcase and much more; those tips will be with me for the next vacation.

Each word is beautifully written for awareness and to educate the people who travel and make it as easy as possible. I appreciate the knowledge that will help me shortly. I highly recommend this fantastic book to mostly those who love to travel.

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Toni Pike recently shared a new review on her blog for Have Bags Will Travel. This was a lovely post Toni put up at her blog to share my book. I hope you’ll pop over there. Her review is below.

5 stars – a delightfully nostalgic travel memoir

D.G. Kaye’s delightful travel memoir is an enjoyable page-turner, and essential reading for anyone wanting to travel overseas. It would be a perfect beach read, or a great book to take with you on vacation – something, perhaps, to keep you entertained while lining up at airports.

The author confesses to being a shopaholic who always travels with too much luggage – a problem shared by so many other travellers, including myself. She had me in stitches with her stories of trying to comply with the ever-varying luggage limits, and her constant struggles to deal with Canadian customs authorities on her trips home.  

Kaye has many useful tips and tricks for the unsuspecting traveller. I couldn’t stop laughing at her description of how to maintain perfect sterilisation and not touch anything inside those tiny airplane toilets.

She has fond memories to share about trips to places like London, Paris and Las Vegas – and some fun times in Venezuela. I could relate to how much she loved Las Vegas in the past, when there were less crowds, much higher dress standards, and the restaurants and hotels offered much better service and value.

A few months in Greece in her youth became a constant struggle with too much luggage and then an accident. At Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, she managed to get from one terminal to another in record time with her elderly father in tow.

The author manages to include all sorts of luggage disasters – a topic very relevant at the moment. Shoes also play a big part, but you’ll have to read for yourself to find out more.

The book is written in an easy-to-read style and it moves quickly, so I kept eagerly turning the pages and was very sorry to reach the end. I hope the author writes another travel book one day – and I give this a very well-deserved 5 stars.

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Martha posted on Goodreads blog.

Reviewed on Goodreads by Martha Perez

P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy

Martha Perez‘s review

Jun 26, 2017 and May 2022

it was amazing

Read 2 times

When I started to read this astonishing true story, I have to say I was very proud of D.G. Kaye; this is a heart-wrenching story with so many emotions about a mother and daughter relationship having a narcissistic mother and being so selfish and damaging her child.

A mother is supposed to love and treasure the gift God gave her; instead, she gave her pain and sorrow. I honestly relate to this story. D. G. Kaye is a fantastic woman. It is vital to tell such a heartrending and emotional story; she has so much courage to heal herself and others.

You live with this all your life wondering why? What did I do wrong? You start to question and blame yourself. It’s living with a dysfunctional family; it’s never your fault; it’s all we know until you’re an adult that you realize how messy life is. She has to decide to forgive her mother. I think it’s up to the person that was hurt to make such a tough choice—a page-turner.

Many of us came from a flawed family. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our parents, and when a child is abused, they will carry the pain throughout their lives. It’s an emotional roller coaster; the author speaks from her heart and soul. You will have tears flow down your cheeks. It’s not easy to forgive, but I am glad she has written this book.

A mother’s love should be unconditional, but when they have gambling and other problems, they exercise control over their children by being selfish and not loving. It’s a recipe for disaster. Why her mother wasn’t happy reflects on her daughter’s hurt she carries throughout her life and the neglect and abuse of the family.

I understand why writing her journey was so important. It’s like letting go of a butterfly jarred to be free to fly away from the Suffocation from her past.

I don’t think we can ever understand why some parents do what they do. We must heal from the bad and be grateful for the good. I could relate with D.G. Kaye. My parents were alcoholics and gave us away. It’s important to forgive, but you never forget. I highly recommend this fantastic book.

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I found this beautiful review from Harmony’s posting on Goodreads.

Harmony Kent

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book Everyone Should ReadReviewed in the United States on April 28, 2021

As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.

Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.

It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.

Some lines that resonated with me in particular:

‘A narcissistic mother doesn’t have to be in one’s presence. She can still demand and demean no matter how far away.’

and

‘It is my decision to banish my mother from my life and a resolution to find peace within myself with my decision.’

and

‘[…] if we’re lucky enough to realize the bad, we have the opportunity to steer ourselves in a better direction.’

For a while now, I have struggled to think of what I will do when one or the other of my parents dies. I’m not even sure they would let me know, at this stage. And reading this honest and brave account from D G Kaye has helped me immensely. It has also helped to explain the till-now inexplicable behaviour of my twin sister. She has grown up with emotional neglect, as did I, and has now become a narcissist. This book has helped me to identify why she lives and behaves the way she does.

From my own life, I know how hard it is to go against the grain to become your own person despite your upbringing. It takes work, day by day, to resist some of those unhealthy habits instilled in us as children and to trust our judgements and motives. It takes courage to not give in to the insidious lack of self-esteem with which such adults are often left. The author has overcome much, and I admire her deeply both for her acheivements and for putting her journey into words so that others of us can also be helped.

PS I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy gets a solid and resounding 5 stars from me. A difficult read, but a book everybody should read.

I want to thank Mark, Toni, Harmony, for taking the time and interest to read my books and review. I’d also like to thank Martha Perez for her interest and time for reading three of my books. I am elated that all of you took so much from my words. Author’s gold. 💜💚🧡

©DGKaye2022

Death Anniversary – Twenty Years – The Bite. I Love You to the Moon and Back for One Thousand Lifetimes

Published on by dgkaye65 Comments

I love you to the core of my soul.

When you asked me to marry you, my heart held all the joy in the world.

Yet, the fear of the future and concern about how I’d deal if I were to lose you because of our age difference, it frightened me to my soul.

I weighed the odds and decided that another love like ours could never be.

I hugged you in true laughter, and said yes, but I made you promise me at least 20 years.

What a fool I was, short-changing myself and not asking for thirty.

Your promise gave me 22,

That fateful fear that’d sometimes niggled at my mind, came back to bite.

No amount of years would have ever been enough to have to let you go.

I love you now, still, and forever.

I love you forever into the beyond.

God gifted me you, but only on loan. Because he wanted you back.

You were my lesson on love.

I tasted true unconditional love,

A gift that many have been denied the privilege.

You’re a gift that will blanket my heart for the rest of my days.

I love you.

Puppy grave
In my heart forever

One year ago today, I lost the love of my life. I can’t even fathom the thought it’s been one year. It still aches like yesterday. My heart is still heavy, and the missing is a continuous gaping hole in my heart.

Today I will visit my husband’s grave, our grave, and lay a new rock upon the headstone. Although I feel the need to visit his grave, I feel him more when I’m home, or wherever I go, as though he is with me. He sends me lots of signs, so I know this much.

The only thing I’ve learned about heart-wrenching grief, is that it never subsides. Each wave that comes over me is like a fresh wound. It doesn’t get easier, I just learn to dance around it when it hits. I don’t suppose it ever goes away because as long as there was love, there will always be grief for the giant loss that resides in my heart.

Next week I will begin planning a celebration of life for my Puppy, the one Covid restrictions denied him; just like the Covid hospital restrictions that added to his demise. I still carry a lot of anger inside for that.

Ours was a true love story, and such as grief is, the more we love, the harder and longer we will grieve.

In the past year, I watched my husband die daily before my eyes. My heart was ripped, yet I had to carry on taking care of him because it was all I could do. I cast my brokenness aside, held back my tears and wouldn’t even admit to myself that my other half was leaving me. Until he did.

I packed up 25 years of our life together, gave things away and moved two months later. I don’t even know how I did it all, I just felt like I was on auto pilot going through the motions.

It was my friends who got me through the difficult days, allowing me to speak about him, about the pain, without any interruption or words of empowerment. Grievers don’t need all those foofie condolences, they need love and support and an ear to blanket the soul, for there are no solutions. Grief is just a process that one must journey through alone. But ears and hugs go a long way to comfort. So I thank my wonderful circle of friends, both here and at home, and all of you here for your love and support and for giving me back some of the ‘normal’ I need to continue on.

Beloved Puppy

I’m a longggg way from healing, but I’m doing and showing up, and taking in all the moments of gratitude along this painful road. And the only thing that keeps me doing so is believing my husband is still always here with me.

I came across the perfect word while reading things in one of the online grief groups I follow. There is a Portuguese word called ‘Saudade’, pronounced ‘Sodahd’. In the article I read it talked about this being the perfect word for which there isn’t a perfect English translation. But the gist of the word is it means a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for something or someone that one loves despite them being gone. It’s akin to the term ‘bittersweet’, a longing for something or someone that will never be again. I too now feel it is the perfect description for my grief. According to Dictionary.com,

saudade

[ soh-dahd; Portuguese soh-dah-juh ]

noun

(in Portuguese folk culture) a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent:the theme of saudade in literature and music.

I love this new word, it describes well the indescribable longing of grief.

Big Puppy
My Puppy

I haven’t published much in the last few years, during my husband’s illness and his dying, and subsequently, after. But don’t be fooled. I’ve been writing like a fiend. I’ve written many poems, conversations, observations and soul searching thoughts through this journey. Turns out I’m 30K words into a book about grief and love, although written in drafts. One day, when my heart can take it, I will put that book together. For now, I would like to share one of the poems I wrote for my husband:

IF

If I’d held you tighter and never let you go,
When God took you, I’d be there with you now.

If there wasn’t a Covid, and my pleas were heard,
You might have still been here with me now.

If I faced my fear of losing you and told you all I knew of your fate,
Would it have scared you more?

If I had a trillion more days, I couldn’t love or miss you more.

If I wasn’t so broken, I could reminisce our happy times,
Instead of just seeing your pained face and body, in my every thought.

If I could stop this biting pain, I could breathe.

If love could have saved you, you’d still be here with me now.




©DGKaye2022
D.G. Kaye's books reviewed

New Reviews for my books – Books by D.G, Kaye in Review #Memoir – #Christmas Book Fair

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Today I’m sharing some new and recent reviews I came across for all of my books! I was excited to recently find four new reviews for my book Menowhat? A Memoir. It seems one doesn’t have to be going through the changes of madness to feel curious about this book. A friend who I’d given a few of my books too was thrilled to type up reviews in gratitude for the books. Not everyone is tech savvy to get a review up on Amazon or Goodreads so I was very appreciative.

 

Customer Reviews for:

 

I came across this gem of a review by Diana Peach on Amazon, and then shared again on her blog in her September Reads

xMeno – What?: Memorable Moments of Menopause by D. G. Kaye

I tried to read this book in bed before nodding off, but my husband made me go downstairs… apparently my laughter was keeping him up. As someone who’s gone through “The Change,” I found this book highly relatable and, at times, laugh out loud funny. Kaye recommends laughter as a way of dealing with this shocking stage of life, and her account of her own battle with menopause and post-menopausal changes demonstrates that conviction.

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Kaye gives an overview of the biological changes, reminds us that she isn’t a doctor, and clarifies that every woman will experience this misery in different ways. Besides offering plenty of opportunities for laughter, she provides suggestions for ways to manage our changing bodies. I especially related to her discussion of post-menopausal changes that begin with a stage called “What the Hell?”

xHer anecdotes are relatable… the covers on/covers off routine… opening the car window to let the snow blow in… “alligator” skin… sagging, spots, you name it, she covers the gamut and all with sardonic wit, disbelief, good sense, and a determination to fight back. This book is a memoir but one that doubles as a guide for women during their menopausal journeys. Highly recommended.

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A recent 5 Star review from Harmony Kent:

#BookReview: Meno-What? by D G Kaye @pokercubster #Menopause #womensissues

 HARMONY KENT  POSTED ON    POSTED IN REVIEW   7 COMMENTS  TAGGED WITH , 

Hi everyone! Today, I have a book review for a favourite writer of mine, D G Kaye … an author many of us know and love >>> Harmony posted on her blog: 

 

My Review:

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I have read this author before, and her humour in adversity shines through every time. This knack makes what could be a depressing read into an inspiring one, and Meno-What? doesn’t disappoint. At 66 Kindle pages, this is a quick yet informative read.

xI would say this is a must-read for all women going through or approaching a certain stage of life: the menopause. I might go so far as to say that their loved ones should read this too! … Although, when I made the same suggestion to dear hubby, I received a noncommittal grunt in reply, lols.

xThe author tells us that “major body trauma or surgery can ignite the process.” Tick!
And … “Those meno dragons can creep up on you like the night.” Tick! (Love that imagery.)
And … “If you can’t laugh, there’s no fun in existing!” Tick!

xSome comments show the massive differences between healthcare in the UK and that in the US. For instance, many of us over this side of the pond can’t imagine having our own dermatologist or gynae person to go to at need. Apart from this difference in health care provision, the book and its examples is highly relatable.

xAs an amputee, I’m experiencing a whole new level of fun living with a false leg during hot sweats. Just yesterday, after the supposedly-tight-and-skin-gripping liner slipped off my residual limb three times in half an hour, and took my prosthetic with it mid-step, I decided to give myself a break and had a wheelchair day. As the author advises, seeing the funny side sure does help!

xReading this book had me chortling away throughout, as well as nodding in recognition. Honestly, I wish I’d read this a few years ago! While each experience of menopause is individual, there are some common truths that hold for us all, and this book is a wonderful reminder that we’re not alone, as well as offering some general advice from a lay perspective. This treat of a memoir gets a solid five stars from me.

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MacTrish
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that takes some of the heat out of the topic of the menopause!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 October 2021

Verified Purchase
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xxx

xI made a new friend in my building and she’s a retired professional in higher education. She was so excited to learn I was an author and asked where she can buy my books. Of course, I gave her two. She was so kind, as she doesn’t fiddle much with computers, but she wrote three lovely reviews for three of my books, P.S. I Forgive You, Twenty Years: After “I Do”, and Conflicted Hearts:

 

P.S. I Forgive You - D.G. Kaye

 

Twenty Years

 

Conflicted Hearts Cover, D.G. Kaye

 

 

Review

 

book review

 

Words We Carry quote D.G. Kaye

 

 

 

Diana DeCaire
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughtful, lovely self expression

Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2021

Verified Purchase
x
 

x

 

Have Bags, Will Travel, D.G. Kaye

x

 

marjorie mallon
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun travel/shopping memoir which will have you laughing

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 February 2021

x
I read this as part of #ireadcanadian., @ireadcanadian #nowmorethanever.

This is such a hoot, what a laugh!

xHave Bags Will Travel is such an entertaining read which gives you an insight into D G Kaye’s character, her shopping obsession, packing troubles, germaphobia, and brushes with airport security. Enjoy her recollections on the glamour and glitz, her love to travel and a nostalgic aspect to it all.

xHer friend Zan shares her shopaholic tendencies too. The two of them together… can you imagine? A red head, blonde explosion of zaniness! I love the part when they end up at Buckingham Palace and chat to a Beefeater, the royal guard and after which… it gets funnier by the moment.

xHave Bags Will Travel gives a historical account of how much easier it used to be to take overstuffed baggage through airports in the good old days. Now, it seems that D G Kaye will resort to anything to get her shopping home.

xZan and D G Kaye also travel to Paris and end up shopping for shoes!

xThere are manmade toboggan rides in Muskoka, Canada.

xTrips to Venezuela: Margarita Island and Caracas with cousin Eileen.

xLas Vegas, Then and Now – gambling/casinos, fond memories of the author’s love of the desert.

xHave Bags Will Travel is just what we need right now, a good giggle! There is also a section at the back of the book with Helpful Travel tips.

xA short, entertaining read. Highly recommended, especially for the shopoholics and travel enthusiasts in your life!

 

***

I am grateful for all those interested in my books and for those who’ve taken the time to read, enjoy, and took more time to write reviews.

xSo what’s next?  Well,  as many of you already know, this year hasn’t been kind to me, in fact, my nightmares with my husband’s declining health began last year, just as I finished revising my latest memoir – Fifteen First Times. I never even got it sent to the editor before I lost all focus on book writing. With my husband’s ongoing illness, and then losing him to cancer this spring, and dealing with everything that comes after that and the suffocating grief I continue to live with, let’s just say that publishing wasn’t anything I could deal with. When I finally get away out of this space this winter, I plan on refreshing myself with the book and forwarding to my editor and to begin the publishing process for that book next spring.

xSince my husband’s illness and consequently, his death, I’ve been writing a lot about grief and poignant moments in very rough draft, as thoughts come to mind. Suffice it to say, without ‘technically’ writing a book, I’m already over 20K words in rough thoughts without even preparing for a book. I will continue writing and eventually turn the devastating situation I’m living, into a book whereby both, those who have and who are walking this journey can connect with, as well as being insightful for those lucky enough not to have walked in the shoes yet, to share through my experiences, about what to expect.

x

Happy Reading!

 

@DGKaye2021

 

 

Featured author of the week

Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye | Stevie Turner

Published on by 30 Comments

Today I’m sharing my recent feature spot I had over at Stevie Turner’s blog where I’m talking a bit about how my book – Twenty Years: After “I Do” came to be. Stevie Turner generously runs an author promotion series every Friday on her blog. Some weeks she offers ‘Click and Run’, where we’re invited to leave a link to a great review for one of our books, and this spotlight feature. Stevie invites authors to submit to be featured. Enjoy reading my post and if you’d like to be featured, follow her submission guidelines listed at the bottom of her post page.

 

 

Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye

 

 

Hi all, today the spotlight is on D.G Kaye, a non-fiction author I feel I know very well even though I’ve never met her.

 

We’ve gone through a few similiar life experiences, and we have the same opinions on many subjects. Reading Debby’s bio below, I’ve often wished I could have been a reporter too, and it’s quite uncanny how much alike we are in so many ways!

 

I enjoyed reading Debby’s book ‘Twenty Years: After “I Do”, which contains many tips for a successful marriage based on the author’s own twenty year marriage to the love of her life, Gordon, who sadly passed away earlier this year.

 

 

Author, D.G. Kaye

 

 

Bio

 

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

 

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, sharing the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

 

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

 

 

Why I write nonfiction

 

I’ve always been a ‘tell it the way it is’ kind of girl. In fact, I’m pretty sure I should have been a reporter. I’m a nonfiction/memoir writer and no matter how hard I try to get around that by dabbling into the odd fiction writing piece, it always seemed I was writing on factual incidents, so I decided why bother packing it as fiction, why not just own up to it and tell the truth. All my stories have lessons in them that others can take from them. And when a story isn’t about a serious topic, I’ll always try to inject humor whenever I can. Why? Because sometimes we all just need to look for the funny.

 

 

About the writing of this book:

 

 Writing this book was a true labor of love. The book stemmed from little things that popped into my head a few years ago when my husband took ill. I was riding a roller coaster of emotions for much of the year with my husband’s health, and it got me thinking about how much had really changed through the years, as his aging was happening well ahead of mine.

 

I’m not suggesting that time isn’t catching up with me too, but what I mean is that my husband was two decades older than me, and when we first got married, I let that factor slide because there were so many good reasons to marry him. But it’s a learning curve when you have a ringside seat watching your spouse go through situations that become a bit more difficult as the body ages and sickness sometimes takes its toll.

 

It was an actual statement that my husband made one day that lit up my brain with the book idea. He made a comment out of the blue, “We’ve been together twenty years.” When you read the book, you will understand why that statement spurred the title of the book. And from there, well, it got me thinking about some of the day-to-day activities we do that tend to become altered as one ages, as well as some of the things about the future we don’t normally tend to think about when we’re younger, but become things we’re forced to think about and reckon with.

 

The basic formula I can share to keep the engines of a marriage running smoothly is to always remember compassion and kindness, listen with your heart, talk about your feelings, be a supportive partner, and don’t forget to include laughter in your life every day!

 

 

 

 

Blurb:

 

May/December memoirs. In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break.

 

 

Excerpt:

 

Sacrifice

 

When I chose to marry Gordon, I didn’t live in a fantasy world, unconcerned about the future. I didn’t jump in recklessly, thinking life wouldn’t present problems down the road. I wasn’t delusional, thinking, I’ll worry about whatever happens when it happens or Nothing bad is ever going to happen to him. No, I took everything into consideration and thought logically about marrying Gordon, and knew in my heart that the bottom line was that I loved him for all he was and who he was and that love, providing it was reciprocated, would sustain me through whatever came our way.

 

***

 

When I talk about the sacrifices we make in life, I’m referring to sacrifices we make for our marriage, our children, or sometimes just for the sake of peace. But what are we sacrificing? Do we become heroes because we act selflessly by giving into or giving up something to someone, by sacrificing our own happiness for others? Do we sacrifice to appease, or do we sacrifice from the goodness of our hearts?

 

“Sacrifice” isn’t a simple word. Sacrifice in a marriage isn’t an accolade we should brag about but an act we perform voluntarily for the pure pleasure of giving up something we desire for the sake of someone else’s happiness or need. A healthy relationship involves a give and take from both parties, and if one of those parties isn’t reciprocating, he or she isn’t sacrificing. When we commit to an honest relationship, we realize that selflessness is a main ingredient and part of what strengthens the bond as our relationships develop. We accept that life consists of peaks and valleys, and we sometimes have to give up something with an open heart to accommodate our partners’ needs.

 

If we’re the selfish type who only take from a relationship what we want and flee when obstacles present themselves, there is no sacrifice, only selfishness. Sacrifice will always be part of a good and healthy relationship because that’s what we do when we love with our whole hearts: We give of ourselves with no complaints or expectations.

 

So where does the word “sacrifice” fit into my relationship? Am I supposed to say I sacrificed my midlife years because my husband is older now and we’re unable to do many of the same things we once did together in our earlier years? That’s not how a good marriage works. I didn’t sacrifice anything to be with Gordon. We’ve had a wonderful life together and still do. Sure, our age difference can sometimes present challenges, but what marriage doesn’t encounter challenges? Ours are just different. We care about each other and have always been at each other’s sides through the big moments and the small. We support each other’s desires, dreams, and ambitions. We make each other laugh and remember to tell one another “I love you” every day. Our views on certain issues will differ, and sometimes Gordon may not understand my writing life, but he’s proud of me and applauds my accomplishments—and he never complains.

 

If I’m lost in my work and the dinner hour has passed, he won’t complain but will help himself to a bowl of cereal. My husband is a good sport when it comes to my desires, and he’s always happy to see me happy. That’s how it’s been since the beginning of us, and that says a lot for why we’re still together today.

 

A good relationship always entails sacrifices. Maintaining a good relationship is like creating a recipe with all the nutritional ingredients and flavor, well simmered to ensure it’s tasteful and fulfilling, and part of that recipe is to be generous with hugs. Hugs are a loving expression of our emotions. Still, to this day, when Gordon makes me laugh with his boyish charm, I see the charisma that attracted me to him twenty years ago and can’t resist hugging him like I would a comforting teddy bear. He is my teddy bear, huggable, lovable, dependable, helpful, and caring. So really, what could I possibly have sacrificed to receive all the gifts I am given?

 

~ ~ ~

 

Review

 

5.0 out of 5 stars A Memoir On Love and Marriage: Love Without Limits

Reviewed in the United States on August 20, 2019 by Lauren Miller

 

Verified Purchase

 

D.G Kaye beautifully chronicles twenty years of her marriage and along the way encapsulates the heart of unconditional love amid life’s challenges. What I loved so much was her honest retelling of those years, both good and challenging. I found myself nodding again and again while I read as she honed into what the fundamental requirements were to maintain a healthy relationship. Respect, laughter, intimacy and patience are the cornerstones of a solid foundation that can withstand the trials of daily living. This is, or should be required reading for anyone in a relationship whether married or in a partnership. The author touched on so many issues that impact all relationships. This novel is a keeper and one I will return to over and over again. I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for her candor and the gift to all of us for this remarkable book.

 

Please visit Stevie’s blog for original post and find out how to be featured with your books.

Source: Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye | Stevie Turner

 

©DGKaye2021

 

Bitmo Sunday book review

It’s Sunday, A Lovely Surprise Feature and Opportunity for Reviewers

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As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have no new review ready for my usual Sunday Book Review, but I came across a review feature for one of my own books that made my day.

 

Timothy Pike runs a blog for writers – Whatinspiresyourwriting.wordpress.com. He also runs a group for writers – ChapterBuzz. Tim has a great project on the go where he has created a Discovery List for readers. The idea of this list, Tim intends to publish once it grows to 100 entries, introducing readers to quality books with great reviews that readers may have missed in a sea of books on Amazon.

The great part about adding a review to the list for a book you enjoyed and gave 4 or 5 stars for is, you don’t have to be an author to add a review for a great book you enjoyed, but authors are welcomed to share their own books with a review that shines for their books too! Read below what Tim says about this project:

 

Every day I’m discovering novels that are truly great.

But these aren’t mainstream hits, these are self-published books that …

… to the world’s detriment …

… ended up buried under millions of other books in the huge “Amazon book pile.”

These are thrilling, engaging, or just plain delightful stories that aren’t getting the visibility they deserve.

This is because it can be very hard to stand out, especially for indie authors who may not have the budget, the know-how, or the platform to promote their books.

So to help these books stand out, I created the Discovery List—it’s “every self-published book worth reading” in one big spreadsheet.

 

Tim’s blog is a good one to follow for writers, so naturally, I’m a subscriber. And I was pleasantly surprised when I visited his blog this week, to find a feature for my beloved book – Twenty Years: After “I do”, so I’m thrilled to reblog it here today too.

Learn more about Tim
Timothy Pike
..

The Discovery List is off to a great start, and I’m finding solid gold already!

I’ve made it my quest to find every self-published book worth reading, and to do this, I created a spreadsheet that we as a community can add to.

It’s called the Discovery List, and whether you happened across a great self-published book or wrote one, we want to hear about it.

 

“How to keep a marriage happy and unbreakable”: This five-star memoir reveals the secrets.”

 

I love featuring books that got great reviews, so without further ado, here’s this week’s best self-published book:

Twenty Years: After “I Do”
Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging
by D.G. Kaye

 

Twenty Years by D.G. Kaye

Check this book out on Amazon!

 

Review: Lauren Scott at Baydreamer gives it 5 stars, and raves:

D.G. Kaye’s memoir, Twenty Years After “I Do” piqued my interest for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve been married for thirty-one years to a man who is not only my loving husband but who is my very best friend. I wanted to read what the author had to say on the subject, and she certainly inserted many pearls of wisdom of which I agreed with.

…

Debby offers snippets of insight from her own experiences on how to keep a marriage happy and unbreakable. She adds how humor can lighten any heavy situation and intimately writes of how sex ultimately changes from dating to married life. Most importantly though, she conveys that love has no timeline. Couples should enjoy each moment together and unconditional love will carry them through the difficult times. I was moved by this lovely collection of stories from Debby’s marriage to Gordon, and how she met true love when she least expected. An enjoyable read and one I highly recommend! Read the whole review

 

..

 

You can pick up a copy of Twenty Years on Amazon, and connect with the author on her blog, D.G. Kaye, Writer.

With your help, together we can find every self-published book worth reading and make the Discovery List a one-stop shop for excellent indie books.

If your book isn’t on the List yet, add it today!

 

Well, it was certainly uplifting to find my book featured on Tim’s blog, and thrilled to share it here today. I hope you writing friends and readers here will help contribute to Tim’s ‘Discovery List‘ so we can share with the world some of the books we’ve enjoyed and help readers to discover them by sharing our reviews there. We need 100 reviews to begin the publication spreadsheet! Don’t forget – you can share a review you’ve written for any book, and if you’re an author, you can share your own books there with a favorite review! See you there!

 

©DGKaye2021

 

D.G. Kaye's books reviewed

Sunday Book Reviews – Featuring Book Reviews for D.G. Kaye Books

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Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. Once again I haven’t finished my latest read, but I am beaming times three today because first, Sally Cronin featured a review she’d written a few years ago for my book – Words We Carry, at her Smorgasbord Cafe.

What a treat to have my book reviewed and featured by Sally chosen from her archived series of reviews from the past. So I was thrilled to share that review with you here today and had already drafted the share scheduled to post today. But last night I was visiting blogs and came across Lauren at Baydreamerwrites’ blog and was  beaming out loud when I read a beautiful post featuring two more reviews for two other books of mine – Conflicted Hearts and Twenty Years: After “I Do”. I was so humbled and elated to learn Lauren had read and reviewed two of my books and then generously shared her reviews for my books on her blog.

So today, I’m a little ‘chuffed’ as my British friends would say, and a lot over the moon, sharing three reviews here today from Sally and Lauren.

 

All reviews are golden and the beauty is they’re evergreen ~DGKaye

 

Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Past Book Reviews – #Non-Fiction Words We Carry by D.G. Kaye

 

Welcome to the series where I will be sharing a selection of book reviews I have posted in the last few years. I would like to take the opportunity to showcase books that I have enjoyed and their authors and if you have not read the books, I hope it will encourage you to check them out.

Today I am sharing a review I posted in 2017 –  The Words We Carry by D.G. Kaye 

 

About Words We Carry

“I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it, deflating my own ego without the help of anyone else.”

What do our shopping habits, high-heeled shoes, and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect how we choose our relationships now?

D.G. takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth.
Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.

 

My review for Words We Carry 2017

Words We Carry is packed with the accumulated knowledge, wisdom, survival tips and strategies from someone who went through difficult and unhappy childhood and teen years.

I think it is fair to say that most of us are less than confident about our body shape, and that is particularly tough when you can no longer use the excuse of puppy fat, and your friends are heading out in slinky black dresses and high-heeled shoes.

Unfortunately, not all mothers are born with the nurturing gene and as soon as you become competition, there is an opportunity to reinforce your lack of self-esteem with carefully chosen and cutting words.  I would like to think that the experiences that D.G. Kaye describes were rare, but I am afraid that after counselling women on their health and weight for twenty years, the story is very familiar.

Those harmful words from those who are supposed to love us, are the ones we carry throughout our lifetime, unless we can find a way to dilute their power and replace them with affirmations of a much more positive nature.

D.G. Kaye describes her strategies to claim her own identity, build her self-esteem and evolve from the ugly duckling that she had been made to feel she was, into a swan. This involved a makeover in a number of departments, including wearing high heels at all times and over every terrain, and standing out from the crowd with her now signature titian hair colour. She also developed a healthy, outgoing personality and independence that led her to discover groups of people who accepted and embraced her as a friend.

In the second section of the book Kaye looks at the impact this early negative conditioning had on her relationships, including romances with older men whose different approach to dating and expectations provided a more secure environment. Unfortunately, having entered one serious and long-term relationship, echoes of the verbal abuse that she received as a child and teenager, threatened to undo all the hard work that she had accomplished. Thankfully she went on to find happiness and empowerment with someone who appreciates all that she has become.

Kaye looks at issues such as the difference between Alone vs. Lonely, Negativity and Self-Worth, Forming Healthier Relationships, and importantly Exposing our Personality Through the Internet. All the chapters provide commonsense strategies to overcome a lack of self-confidence, and I do think that women and men in their 50s and 60s, will definitely be able to draw parallels to Kaye’s own experiences.

Whilst I recommend this memoir/self-help book to men and women of my age, I also think that it should be read by all mothers whose daughters are heading into their teens and beyond. It might just remind them of how fragile their child is when about to face the outside world, and that there are enough external challenges to be overcome, without encountering them in the place they should feel safe.

It is also a book for young women who are struggling with weight issues and those who feel that they are not as attractive as their friends, or who feel that they are somehow going through something never experienced before.

There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. By reading this they might take strength in knowing that this is an age old problem, and that they can change the narrative and write their own story.

Read all the reviews and buy the book: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK

 

Visit Sally’s post and blog:

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2020/11/04/smorgasbord-posts-from-my-archives-past-book-reviews-non-fiction-words-we-carry-by-d-g-kaye/comment-page-1/#comment-406386

 

 

Book Reviews: Conflicted Hearts and Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye

 / BAYDREAMER

 

Books by D.G. Kaye Nonfiction

D.G. Kaye’s Author Page – http://www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7

 

I am excited to introduce you to D.G. Kaye today, or better known as Debby. I have followed Debby’s blog for several years now and it has been a joy to not only read her amazing, witty, and honest writing, but to also get to know her as a new friend who has a big heart. She has written many books, so I pulled two out of the hat: Conflicted Hearts first, then Twenty Years After “I Do.”

 

 

 

Blurb:

A Lifetime of guilt — What does it take to finally break free?

Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try to do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.

Burdened with constant worry for her father and the guilt caused by her mother’s narcissism, D.G. Kaye had a short childhood. When she moved away from home at age eighteen, she began to grow into herself, overcoming her lack of guidance and her insecurities. Her life experiences became her teachers, and she learned from the mistakes and choices she made along the way, plagued by the guilt she carried for her mother.

Conflicted Hearts is a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and acceptance, an exploration of the quest for solace from emotional guilt.

 

My First 5-Star Review:

Conflicted Hearts is a compilation of personal essays from D.G. Kaye’s emotional experiences of growing up with her unloving and narcissistic mother. The author struggles with her obligation as a daughter, but also her responsibility to care for herself regarding her own healthy well-being. In each chapter as she opens yet another window giving us a glimpse into her extremely trying times, the emotions become palpable. Because I am a mother of two adult children whom I love to the moon and back, I often felt tears forming and my heart being tugged at in different directions. How a mother can abandon her own children is something I find difficult to understand. D.G. Kaye writes with emotion, vulnerability, and humor. She is not afraid to admit mistakes, but she will also gladly glow in triumph – moments when I felt like clapping, thrilled with the outcome and thrilled for her!

Unfortunately, she lost her childhood because of her mother’s constant absence in the household. Her mother would rather be out partying, seeking the attention of men by using her luminescent beauty, and by doting on her passion for gambling. With the author being the oldest of her siblings, she naturally slid into the role of “mother” which in turn, shaped her decision of possibly not wanting to have children in the future. Her parent’s relationship ran extremely hot and cold, but mostly hot when her mother kicked her father out repeatedly. She adored her father, so each time he left, fear crept into her very soul that she would never see him again.

The author writes with honesty and when she finds herself acknowledging enlightening realizations, she revels in her own personal growth. I read Conflicted Hearts not only as a memoir, but also as a compelling self-help book. And a difficult decision lies in waiting with each turn of the page exemplifying the author’s courage and strength. I am sure her struggles are felt by others so that her personal growth benefits those who live each day in similar circumstances.

This is the first book of D.G. Kaye’s that I have read and because her writing is natural, conversational, and engaging, I am excited to read more from her. This book definitely falls into the can’t put down category. If you enjoy reading memoirs and self-help books, I highly recommend Conflicted Hearts. You will find yourself on an emotional and inspirational wild ride that will both touch and tug at your heart. An excellent read!

 

 

Blurb:

May/December memoirs.

In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.

Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.

 

My Second 5-Star Review:

D.G. Kaye’s memoir, Twenty Years After “I Do” piqued my interest for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve been married for thirty-one years to a man who is not only my loving husband but who is my very best friend. I wanted to read what the author had to say on the subject, and she certainly inserted many pearls of wisdom of which I agreed with. Before I met my husband, I had dated a man twenty years older than me, so reading her perspective on the age difference grabbed my attention, as well. This was the second book that I have read from Debby, so I was already familiar with her beautiful, conversational writing.

Debby offers snippets of insight from her own experiences on how to keep a marriage happy and unbreakable. She adds how humor can lighten any heavy situation and intimately writes of how sex ultimately changes from dating to married life. Most importantly though, she conveys that love has no timeline. Couples should enjoy each moment together and unconditional love will carry them through the difficult times. I was moved by this lovely collection of stories from Debby’s marriage to Gordon, and how she met true love when she least expected. An enjoyable read and one I highly recommend!

I look forward to reading more books from Debby and I hope you will pay her blog a visit to learn more about this wonderful author and to sink into her inviting and conversational writing, as well.

Thanks for stopping by! Lauren 💓💓

 

Visit Lauren’s original post and blog:  Book Reviews: Conflicted Hearts and Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye | Baydreamer

 

©DGKaye2020

bitmo live laugh love

 

Vision perception - Memoirs

Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Share an Extract from your Latest Book- #Memoir – Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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Sally Cronin is running a popular series for her authors in her Smorgasbord Bookstore and Cafe. I was thrilled to be invited to share an extract from one of my books. I shared a sampling from my book Twenty Years: After “I Do”.

 

Twenty Years by D.G. Kaye

Get this book on Amazon!

 

 

Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Share an Extract from your Latest Book- #Memoir – Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye

 

 

About the book:

May/December memoirs.

In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.

Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.

 

 

An extract from the memoir.

In this chapter, I’m talking about the familiarity of moments in silence, when we grow to understand a loved one so well, often words aren’t necessary.

 

Knowing

 

In his quietest moments, I can hear him thinking. He’s always thinking.

There’s no silence in Gordon’s head. Even while watching TV, his mind is busy spinning. His thoughts may be focused on anything from the customer who’s coming in tomorrow to an item he’s remembered to remind me to pick up at the grocery store—or, often, he’s thinking about me, some old memory he’ll feel compelled to remind me about.

Often when speaking to him, I’ll notice his concentration focused on something other than me. He’ll claim he’s listening to what I’m saying, but his attention is on something else within. I call it attention-span lapsing, not quite ADD but more like brewing an idea while in the midst of a separate conversation. These little moments used to drive me crazy in the early stages of our relationship because I felt as though he wasn’t paying attention to our conversation, but he was. He always did. I hadn’t yet learned how his mind worked.

I’ve had plenty of years to study my husband and can read his thoughts just by a certain look on his face, a silence between us, or sometimes from the first word of a sentence when he speaks. Even the manner in which he’ll call out my name prompts me to know what he’ll ask me. When he calls me Cubby with a higher pitch and an emphasis on the y sound, I know he’s in a jovial mood and eager to share good news or something funny. When he calls me Cub, I know he’s going to ask me a question or has something pressing on his mind he wants to share. Deb is reserved for his pissed-off moments.

We’ve always been so in tune with each other, spoken words or not. Many times, I’ll walk into his man cave, and he’ll be watching TV, not even noticing I’m there as he focuses with eyes glued on whatever he’s watching. I’ll announce myself after standing to his left with one of my usual smart-ass comments, “Earth calling,” and he’ll turn after I startle him, chuckling because he knows the thought police is on to him.

Based on whatever may be currently going on in our lives, I have a reasonable idea about what he may be dwelling on in his moments of silence. I’ll remind him he’s home now and it’s time to turn off his brain and relax. He’ll smile with that familiar twinkle in his blue eyes and once again ask how I always seem to know what he’s thinking. I don’t know how I know. I just do. After spending so much time together, we grow an inherent understanding of the silent language interpreted by eye contact, a lack of it, body language, silence, temperament, or sometimes even by the bang or the silent closing of a door.

The thought police in me is always on duty, ready to dissect Gordon’s brain. It’s become second nature. In this past year since Gordon’s health suffered, I have noticed how much more he likes to remind me about some of our best times we’ve shared. Sometimes I know he’s trying to get a rise out of me with laughter. Other times I can’t help but feel he’s thinking about his mortality. I don’t dwell on it, nor do I let him know I know what he’s thinking about.

Nobody ever wants to think about the end of existence. But trust me, as we age, we all have many of those days when we feel the hands of time ticking by. Gordon’s brushes with death have somehow opened the curtains of a window he never previously cared to look out of, a window he never talked about—one we’ve never talked about. But I know that window revealed to him how close the end almost came for him in the past year, causing him many pauses for thought. He doesn’t say so, but I know.

Once in a while, when Gordon breaks a silent moment between us and says in mere passing, “We’ve been together twenty years,” I know where his brain goes. I never ask him to elaborate on where those thoughts come from, but I know when he’s in a reflective mood, when he feels the urge to relive tender moments, when he’s fearing his mortality. In those exact moments, I know.

 

One of the reviews for the book

L. Carmichael 5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Study in Married Life  Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2020

Twenty Years: After “I Do” is an autobiographical non-fiction book about the author’s experience with marriage and relationships. I’ve previously read another of her autobiographies about her relationship with her mother, and it was such an emotionally charged and well-written book, I decided to keep reading more from her every few months until I caught up on all her works.

In this one, Debby tells us what happened almost twenty years ago when she debated whether to marry the man who is now her husband. Given he was twenty years older, she had a lot of decisions to consider when it came to how her life would change. At the core of this book, and her approach to life, is her commitment and honesty in all that she achieves. Debby knew… if she married him, she would have to accept all that came with it in the future. From there, she dives into key aspects of married life: emotions, sex life, personal time, separation of couple and individual, fighting, decision-making, and death. Lessons we all need to consider.

Debby’s writing style is simply fantastic. It’s easy to devour in a short sitting, but it always makes you feel like part of her life. She openly shares so much (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while holding back in all the appropriate areas to allow for proper balance, e.g. we learn about the impacts to her sex life when one partner is ill but she doesn’t go into the details. She tells us how she and her husband tackled the issues from a day-to-day perspective and moved on… because they loved one another (to the moon and back).

There is a refreshing honesty and truth in her words, and readers will quickly find themselves a path to compare their own lives to that of the author’s. What have I done well? What could I do better? What needs to change? Excellent questions to consider, but Debby doesn’t directly tell us to do this–her actions show us why this is at the core of a good marriage. I’m thrilled I had the chance to read this one today. Although I’ve only been with my partner for 8 years, it’s easy to track where things are and what we could do differently.

Debby bravely tells us her story, allowing us to interpret for ourselves what everything means, especially in this ever-changing world where people live longer and have access to more things but it’s harder to get them. I highly recommend this book to nearly anyone in a relationship, or those who want to know how to handle one when they are. Debby shares a few secrets, some hints, and a few suggestions to consider. It’s not just for newbies or long-term couples… there’s a bit of everything for how to co-exist and still be who you are. Great work!

 

Read the reviews and buy the memoir: Amazon US

And: Amazon UK

 

Originally Posted Source: Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Share an Extract from your Latest Book- #Memoir – Twenty Years After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

 

©DGKaye

 

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