I’m Back with my New #Blog

It’s been quite an event! I’m sure many of you know, I’ve moved my blog. Some of you probably don’t know and may be wondering why my blog has been wonky for the last week or so.

I have been wanting to move away from my self-hosted blog for a long time, but dreaded the process – and I wasn’t wrong. Besides the fact that I’d get lots of messages throughout the last few years that readers were having a difficult time commenting on my blog, I’ve had so many issues myself with my old host. I paid substantial money for almost 8 of the 9 years I’ve been blogging, and when technical bad things were happening with it, the support I had was less than mediocre and I had to rely on the kindness of of some writing friends to get me out of a blog jam.

I decided at the longtime urging of my good friend and Fey sister, Colleen Chesebro, now was the time. With the advent of the new BIG WordPress update coming (something that always gave me blog woes), and the thought of me having to deal with scary blog stuff while I escape for a some winter sanity, Colleen convinced me to get it over with now. And it was far from easy.

I decided it would be easier down the road to move back to paid WordPress and let them deal with the headaches. And moving my blog from Godaddy was a nightmare! Colleen helped me a lot. First step was creating a blank WordPress.com new platform to move my content over to, except there were many hurdles. The trick I’ve learned, is to get a good WP happiness engineer – and that only took 2 or 3 until the right one showed up.

The plan was simple, export my content from old site and import into new blog – not so easy. My content wouldn’t load. Colleen was dealing with a WP tech with questions about the import problem and she said she’d get back to her. Well 5 days passed, no blog activity, stuck between two worlds on two platforms and after several days I knew nobody was answering back. And by that time, my old blog content was gone! That’s when the real chaos began.

After 2 days of calling Godaddy (now dubbed NOdaddy from me), first waiting 2 hours til a human picked up and more hours trying to explain I need my blog content and several useless support there, my blood pressure was rising. In the meantime, I was being coached by a WP tech as to how to bring over files MANUALLY. Yes, non backdoor techy me, trying to absorb technical jargon. By the second day of repeat performance, I finally got a WP angel who had spent almost 2 days coaching me of alternative methods to get this and that – to no avail. I finally got through to the WP tech that I was useless in this venture, especially with the SERIOUS LACK OF HELP FROM NODADDY. Let’s just say he went far beyond the call of duty and did things to make the magic happen that were not his job. He and I had a running chat going by email for 4 days! He got the ball rolling last Friday, and yesterday he finally finished getting almost 9 gigs of content over to my new blog, and Colleen went in to make it pretty. I didn’t lose anything, (except what was left of my sanity), my years of posts are back WITH the matching images.

I’m still learning Gutenberg editor tips, but surprisingly, I didn’t find it that complicated. And thanks to my friend Hugh Roberts, who posts excellent tutorials on the new editor, I had already got the basic hang of it.

So, I want to welcome you all over here to my new blog, where it should be easy sailing for readers now to interact. I also hope you will all hit the ‘follow’ button when you visit here. I have to say, it’s a bit discouraging seeing my followers go from over a thousand to 11 LOL – not a good look on a writer whose been blogging for 9 years. And I thank you all for putting up with the madness and coming back!

©DGKaye2021

Time for an Update – U.K. Plans and Mexico

Like many things, our intentions don’t always come to fruition.

 

I know for months now I’ve been talking about my plans to go the U.K. as I anxiously awaited the arrival of my bestie to get here for a visit and my plans to fly back to the U.K. with her after. But sometimes plans change, and in my case, I’ve rearranged my plans and wanted to update you here, especially since I’ve chatted about my plans with several of my British and European friends in anticipation of meeting up with some of you.

 

So why the change of heart?

 

After losing my husband in April then moving in June, exhausted both mentally and physically, and full of grief, the only thing I wanted to do was to jump on a plane and get the hell out of Dodge. But Covid restrictions hampered those plans. Our airports didn’t open up to foreign travelers until early fall, and that kept my friend from getting here until late October.  She will be leaving back for the U.K. without me, later this week. Besides the fact that U.K. is experiencing higher Covid numbers again, and that my intentions of staying in U.K/Europe for a good month or two would have had to have been cut shorter because it’s so late in the year already, the upcoming holidays, and my having to prepare for my winter vacation in Mexico beginning late January, my husband’s gravestone is not yet erected and I’ve been anxiously awaiting that to happen so I can plan a celebration of life gathering for him with our friends because he was ripped off of a proper large funeral gathering at the time of his passing.

 

I’m feeling very unsettled about the headstone going up without my being around to acknowledge it and my plans for a small gathering to honor my husband’s life once the stone goes up. It seems that even headstones are in delay due to the Covid. So with all those factors rolled into one, I decided it’s best for me not to take off right now. I can’t even believe that in two months I’ll be on my way back to Puerto Vallarta!

 

I’m already dreading the holidays here and wishing away December. But I’m very much looking forward to a winter escape to a familiar place where I can somehow still feel like my husband’s spirit will be with me. As a newly minted widow, the thought of going anywhere else this winter gave me anxiety with first time being alone again traveling after a quarter century of traveling as a couple. But I decided to go back to PV and stay at the same location as we always did because we have many Canadian snowbird friends who stay at the same location annually, and at this time in my life I’m grateful for the familiarity I will be in and I won’t be alone there. I’ll have friends to gab with at the pool and to join up with for outings. I’ll also be having a few of my friends from home come down for a stay, so I should be quite comfortable back in PV in the land of wonderful people, sunshine, the ocean and beautiful sunsets. And I will have new plans come next spring for visiting both the U.K. and Europe. So just know my friends, I will get there. And hopefully by then, the Covid will be less of a worry, and I’ll be traveling in a warmer season.

 

©DGKaye2021

 

 

Flying Solo – Goodbye – Announcement

For those of you who haven’t heard, my beloved husband, Puppy, has left his suffering and me behind. He passed with me by his side on Wednesday, April 7th, and I buried him Friday, April 9th.

I’d managed to leave him Monday for a short time to run out and purchase our plots – and fulfilled his wish of being buried together one day. Then dashed home quickly, as I knew he was on days – possibly hours. I’ve been living in a fog ever since, just going through the motions, orchestrating the miniscule funeral service of only 15 allowed, thanks to the never-ending Covid that permanently resides in our city. Gratefully, we were allowed up to 50 at the burial service, but that didn’t make it any more comforting.

My husband was a great man, not just because I thought so, but because of every single person who knew him will tell you the same. He spent over half a century in the automotive business, and so many knew and respected him. I wish some of the many could have been at the service to speak more about this gentle giant of a man who really only stood 5′ 6″ tall. Again, Covid has taken so much away from his final parting, as it has for so very many people globally.

I can’t say a lot more right now, as my heart is scattered in just too many pieces. But I wanted to let you all know, as so many of you have been so loving and supportive through this horrendous journey of loss with me through messages, calls, cards and more. Your support has meant the world to me, so please know that.

As with what comes along with my loss, are the many legal issues to be taken care of in this upcoming week – banks, investments, government, insurance, and more. Not to mention,  I must complete income taxes. Not a pretty week ahead, then once I get all the paperwork done, I’ll begin cleaning out ‘our life’ accumulations and allow myself to grieve properly because I must continue to be stoic and keep my head in the game, and once I let myself fall apart, who knows when I will begin to rise again.

I do hope to be getting back to blogland in another week or so, once the must do’s are done. In the meantime, I’m going to share here what I posted on FB when he passed:

 

My heart is crushed for the passing of my Puppy. Covid restrictions have made this horrendous event even worse with only allowing 15 people at the funeral service that I know would have brought hundreds as he was loved by all who knew him. He was in the car business for over 50 years and respected and known by many in the industry. I will mourn in Shiva til Monday night at home with visitors coming by appointment, instead of the usual open door to any and all who wish to visit.

I have requested that any donations please be made to North York General Hospital palliative care unit, the doctors and nurses have been so wonderful to my husband for the past several years. Special mention to Dr. David Baron and his assistant Lisa, who went to bat for us many times over to get my husband into the hospital during Covid regulations, and to enable me to visit my husband every day he was in hospital for a few hours, despite the Covid rules of only 2 hours a week! Thank you to the LHIN health care and VHA provided by wonderful compassionate people with their staff and services. And thank you all for your most heartfelt condolences through messages and emails. And I promise when I catch my breath, I will return calls and reply.

My Puppy

 

Slippers

 

I keep them by your beside – for now.

I’m not ready to remove them, just as I was not ready for your removal from my life.

 

©DGKaye2021

angels

 

 

Update: Blogging and Health and Wellness

Just a quick post to update. My hubby has just come home from hospital again, and a whirlwind has happened in this last stint.  My hubby was drained again and a port was inserted to start having homecare and nurse to come drain him at home as needed, it’s just too tough on him getting in and out of the car.

 

In the middle of madness I got jab one of the Astra Zeneca Covid vax, thanks to another compassionate medical secretary. I’d called my GP’s office for one thing, and got chatting with the secretary about the new opening in my age group for vaccines available in certain pharmacies across my city.  Well, I along with countless others were tying up the lines trying to book an appointment, and I gave up fighting the madness. The secretary told me she’d be happy to alleviate the madness and would get me booked. She asked which location I’d prefer, and ten minutes later called to tell me I was booked for the next day!  Apparently, they skipped an age group here, as they are still vaccinating the over 80 age group. I asked, what happened to the people in their 70s first, and I was told Astra Zeneca vaccine couldn’t be given to 65 and over and they would expire in April, so here I am, dose one injected and no follow up date yet for #2. I sure hope it’s sooner than later. I had the jab on Saturday and my left arm, shoulder, and up the left side of my neck and back are still sore. I hope that’s the worst of it as I have zero time to be sick. I’ve been reading around where many people say they get sicker after the 2nd jab. Can’t wait! (Sarcasm.)

 

As life is spinning for me at the moment, and until I can get a breath and sorted in new routine, my posts and my visits to other blogs may be limited and random. Gratefully, I do have some posts in draft, but anything newly creative is sleeping at the moment, as my life is in adjustment and denial as too many things sink in.

As I’d previously mentioned in my last post, I’m documenting this journey, and once I catch my breath, I’ll begin editing it and posting in a series about how I navigate the hospital system during cancer and Covid. Yes, my husband’s diagnosis is in, confirmed what I already knew in my soul, he has a primary and secondary cancer. Lots to process while working hard to keep his spirits up. And I must tend to his every need, which is my most absolute priority right now. The hospital has arranged nurses and doctors to come to the home. That is a blessing and easier for both of us.

 

Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers. They are always most welcome and appreciated.

 

©DGKaye2021

 

Don’t forget to find something to smile about everyday. Everyday is a gift.

 

bitmo live laugh love

 

Updates – This Extrovert is in Hibernation Mode #Health and Wellness

The last cliffhanger I left you with for my first 2021 post, my husband’s illness, my nonfunctioning leg, and our shower ceiling caving in, have been keeping me quite busy lately. The onslaught at everything coming at me has put me in introvert mode. I am 99 percent an extrovert and one percent introvert. When I get in introvert mode, it’s an introspective thing where I need to close myself in – not quite at the part where I’m digesting things and trying to find my way around what seems my new life.

When I get quiet, my mind is very busy. And until I can come to resolutions and/or acceptance I need to go within myself, not ready to share with others what I haven’t yet digested myself. So for those good friends of mine who check in with me daily and silently know that when I’m ready I’ll spill, thank you.

I feel right now my life is at a crossroads of many things – some I can’t peg, yet, I know are brewing, and some I’m having a difficult time facing. I don’t know if this past year was a catalyst for or if because of the isolating life we’ve been living alone together 24/7, it has allowed me to watch and be part of as my husband’s health issues persist. In a flash I seemed to have gone from wife to caregiver.

As I long for the days of Covid to pass so I can resume living, I’m just as anxious about when the time for living does come back. Because the living I’ve known for over 20 years now, is not and will not be the same. Since just before the new year, my husband has been accumulating fluid daily. This happened five years ago when he was first diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver. He was drained and put on two types of heavy-duty diuretics. One in particular was specific to pulling fluid from the liver area. The combo finally got properly dosed and worked well for the past five years. Then late last fall, a side effect of one of the pills, retaining too much potassium, was raising hub’s levels and had to be cut down. Thus the fluid buildup came back – except it’s not going away anymore so he’s now that guy who Dr. B told me about five years ago when I asked him if this fluid retention would come back. He’d told me he had patients who had to have a paracentesis every month, but maybe my hub would be luckier, I’d hoped. We had a good ride for five years, but now my husband has been going every two weeks for draining (Paracentesis). They can only get out approximately four of the ten litres he carries (we know by weight). Four days later he gains it all back. Last week I spoke with Dr. B and he’s moved the procedure up to once a week. We have to sign consent papers every time he has this done because of course the danger of inserting the long needle in his side with a drain tube, guided by ultra sound, done by a radiologist, has its risks. Today is drainage day again, thankfully.

My life has changed so much, considering there’s been no real living going on. Last February we were in Mexico, we came home mid March and the next day was lock down. My husband fell ill the day before travel home day, and life has been unwell ever since. Just like that, snap, our lives changed, during lockdown. My husband will not be going back to work of course, so I never got to experience that transition time from when he went to work a few days a week and loved to run errands, giving me my personal time. He always needed to be busy. So he got involved, voluntarily with some household jobs – emptying dishwasher and the many garbage cans. Then he’d take some garbage down the end of the hall to the chute, and the rest to the recycle bins in the parking level. It gave him something to do and he enjoyed it. I don’t enjoy it quite so much, but I’ve relieved him from his duties. The days before draining days he walks on a walker because his legs are like lead.

Current prognosis on past events:

So it took three weeks and various shades of yellows, greens blues and purples, but as of four days ago, I can walk proper without limping. I’m pretty sure I tore my calf muscle. It was painful and only a few days later the bruising was down my whole calf, ankle, and foot. I was using hub’s walker for over a week. So I guess there wasn’t enough excitement when I stubbed a toe bang on, precisely to the corner of the TV stand. I don’t remember feeling that kind of pain in many years. After sitting down and holding my foot for ten minutes til the initial throb wore down, I hobbled to the freezer door, below the fridge doors. I opened it and put my foot right among the frozen vegetable bags and stood there with the door opened for a good five minutes. It helped a lot. The pain was gone. The next day however, 3 toes and half my foot up were purple and I couldn’t move two toes. But, as of this writing, I have movement back. I am definitely blaming this shyte on Mercury Retrograde. Our shower was fixed and retiled almost two weeks ago, and we’re awaiting the new shower door. Until then, I’m grateful for the clear, shower curtain and temporary bar they put up for the meantime.

Two nights ago I had to call 911 as my husband slid to floor trying to get out of bed at 130am to go to washroom. I could not lift him for all the tea in China and was forced to admit my defeat and call for help. I realized my superhuman powers are limited after watching two EMS guys struggle to finally get him up. They were very kind and gave me some helpful tips  to help ‘seniorize’ things at home. They are also going to set up some help to come in a few days a week to help with hubby, so I’m looking forward to that part.

So yes, as you can see, there’s a lot I’m swallowing right now as my first priority is my husband, but in my head and as I witness my husband’s health decline, it’s all still so raw and very tough for me to witness and accept, as I’m having to learn to accept that things will never again be the way they were.

So that’s my update. I felt since I’d posted about the mayhem going on in my life, my readers at least deserved a follow up.

 

Never take life for granted for it can be snatched in the blink of an eye.

 

©DGKaye2021

bitmo live laugh love