Recently I wrote a post about how I am inundated with publishing my latest book, and at the same time, selling my home. Along with keeping the house looking in a decluttered state and the ongoing cleaning, are the constant interruptions of my work because I have to keep leaving my home in order for people to view it sans owner. For those of you who have danced to this tune before, we all know how overwhelming this can all be, then let’s throw something else like death into the mix.
In the past week I have lost a dear acquaintance, a sister-in-law and a niece to cancer. Funerals abound. My own mother is living on days currently, and for those of you who have read my book, Conflicted Hearts, you can surely appreciate what I am dealing with on the guilt front. The day of reckoning is close for me. In this time of overwhelming emotions, I question, “What is going on in this world?” With the sorrow from those lost, I can’t help but feel we are living in a world of bullets, and each day we are all a statistic, dodging them, hoping our number in the lottery of life isn’t next.
In a world of hurry up, we live and try to stay safe and healthy while trying to accomplish our daily tasks in life, trying not to focus on all the turmoil around us. Then someone near and dear to us dies and the world stops. Everything that seemed so dire in those moments, become secondary. How do we keep up with all the sadness when at times it seems like it’s all coming at once?
In this world filled with uncertainty from Ebola to Isis, added to our personal struggles, I know I find myself having to take a step back from my corner and take a breath. Sometimes the gloom makes me feel as though we are all targets in some way. We do our best to stay safe and healthy, trying to fly under the radar, hoping that God may mark our doors with a “keep out” sign from grief and sickness. But in these moments, I’m feeling as though my cover has been lifted and I’m just as vulnerable as everyone else. How do we shake off these feelings that come at us?
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