Angels,  Cycle of life,  D.G. Kaye,  Life and Loss,  Updates

Flying Solo – Goodbye – Announcement

For those of you who haven’t heard, my beloved husband, Puppy, has left his suffering and me behind. He passed with me by his side on Wednesday, April 7th, and I buried him Friday, April 9th.

I’d managed to leave him Monday for a short time to run out and purchase our plots – and fulfilled his wish of being buried together one day. Then dashed home quickly, as I knew he was on days – possibly hours. I’ve been living in a fog ever since, just going through the motions, orchestrating the miniscule funeral service of only 15 allowed, thanks to the never-ending Covid that permanently resides in our city. Gratefully, we were allowed up to 50 at the burial service, but that didn’t make it any more comforting.

My husband was a great man, not just because I thought so, but because of every single person who knew him will tell you the same. He spent over half a century in the automotive business, and so many knew and respected him. I wish some of the many could have been at the service to speak more about this gentle giant of a man who really only stood 5′ 6″ tall. Again, Covid has taken so much away from his final parting, as it has for so very many people globally.

I can’t say a lot more right now, as my heart is scattered in just too many pieces. But I wanted to let you all know, as so many of you have been so loving and supportive through this horrendous journey of loss with me through messages, calls, cards and more. Your support has meant the world to me, so please know that.

As with what comes along with my loss, are the many legal issues to be taken care of in this upcoming week – banks, investments, government, insurance, and more. Not to mention,  I must complete income taxes. Not a pretty week ahead, then once I get all the paperwork done, I’ll begin cleaning out ‘our life’ accumulations and allow myself to grieve properly because I must continue to be stoic and keep my head in the game, and once I let myself fall apart, who knows when I will begin to rise again.

I do hope to be getting back to blogland in another week or so, once the must do’s are done. In the meantime, I’m going to share here what I posted on FB when he passed:

 

My heart is crushed for the passing of my Puppy. Covid restrictions have made this horrendous event even worse with only allowing 15 people at the funeral service that I know would have brought hundreds as he was loved by all who knew him. He was in the car business for over 50 years and respected and known by many in the industry. I will mourn in Shiva til Monday night at home with visitors coming by appointment, instead of the usual open door to any and all who wish to visit.

I have requested that any donations please be made to North York General Hospital palliative care unit, the doctors and nurses have been so wonderful to my husband for the past several years. Special mention to Dr. David Baron and his assistant Lisa, who went to bat for us many times over to get my husband into the hospital during Covid regulations, and to enable me to visit my husband every day he was in hospital for a few hours, despite the Covid rules of only 2 hours a week! Thank you to the LHIN health care and VHA provided by wonderful compassionate people with their staff and services. And thank you all for your most heartfelt condolences through messages and emails. And I promise when I catch my breath, I will return calls and reply.

My Puppy

 

Slippers

 

I keep them by your beside – for now.

I’m not ready to remove them, just as I was not ready for your removal from my life.

 

©DGKaye2021

angels

 

 

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

115 Comments

  • Jan Sikes

    A heart that is so broken will never fully mend, but it will repair itself enough to carry on. Everything you are going through is bringing back the sting of my own memories…walking down that foggy road, alone and wrapped in grief. It will be a while before the fog clears, dear Debby. This is Spirit’s way of protecting you. I have no big words of advice. I know your team of guides and angels will walk beside you, and that I believe with all my heart. So, I’ll just end by saying I will send light and love to you over an invisible thread. Hugs!

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Jan. Your words are ringing so true. You know, because you’ve worn the shoes. I am only just ‘breaking’ mine in. Yes, the fog is a protection, like a liner between myself and the reality of the pain. Today I feel too much. I need that liner for a little while longer. <3

    • Bonnie McKeegan

      Debby, I am sad to hear of your husband’s passing. You’re in my heart, as always since the first time I read a blog post here in your pages a few years ago. Grief is as brutal as the intensity of love. Wishing you long moments of comfort for today and every day henceforth. For grief truly is a lifelong journey of transition and transformation.

      • dgkaye

        Hi Bonnie. Thanks so much for your kind and true words. This past year has been a whirlwind for so many. And I remember how much you wrote about grief too. All true. xx

  • Darlene Foster

    There just are no words to express how I feel for you right now. Just remember you are in our hearts and in our thoughts as you deal with your tremendous loss. With Love.

    • Marie Lavender

      Please accept my heartfelt sympathies on this tragic loss. :'( I know nothing I can say will alleviate your grief. And I can only imagine how difficult it would be if I were in your shoes. But I know you will be reunited with him someday. Having known great love as well, perhaps you can find a measure of peace in the fact that true love will always find a way. I know it’s hard to see this as anything but ‘the end’, yet it might help to think of this as a brief respite, a pitstop, so to speak, on the the journey which will bring you both home, where two can become one again.

      Know I am so sorry for your loss. Though life has lost its color for now, I promise you will find him again, and perhaps even see a sign that he’s waiting patiently for you on the other side. Please take care of yourself. Being a blogger too, I have experienced personal losses that brought me down. If you need to step away for a bit, we will understand. Be kind and patient with yourself during the grieving process. Hang in there…

      Kindest regards,

      M

      • dgkaye

        Thanks for your beautiful words Marie. My eyes are wide open, looking and listening for signs. I need a sign he’s okay and not holding the same grief I am. I want him to be in peace, I want him back with me, but I will settle for a sign. I will wait. <3

  • Marje

    I can’t begin to imagine what you are going though Debby. Losing your spouse, must be one of the hardest things to come to terms with. Thinking about you everyday. Sending love and take your time to grieve no rush to rush back we’ll be here for you. X

    • Claire Fullerton

      Sending you love, Debby. I exchanged a few lines with our Sally recently, wherein I said what came to immedaite mind: You, my dear, are a way-shower. You show the rest of us how to comport oneself with grace. As I support you, I will be watching. I am thinking of you so often and, although I haven’t experienced the death of a husband, I have visitied this dark arena with family members multiple times. Always, it is a surreal, sobering arc of an experience that lends itself to a myriad of perspectives as the days shift and change. Please know you are in my thoughts at this life-altering time.

      • dgkaye

        Thank you so much Claire for your kind words of inspiration. It’s difficult to stay out of the dark, but I’m going one hour at a time. <3

  • Pete Springer

    It must be comforting to know that the man you loved was so well-thought-of in the community. I know there all the associated things to deal with in regards to a loved one’s passing, but take care of yourself. All of those things will be there tomorrow and the next day. I wish you a lifetime of happy memories, Debby. Big hugs from California.

  • Balroop Singh

    My heart goes out to you dear Deb, may God grant peace and solace to your broken heart. I know such a loss is irreplacable and no words can lessen your pain yet I send my words of condolence and a big hug. Life is brutal at times. I wish we could live it the way we want. I am with you in spirit my friend, holding your hands, passing on some warmth. Rest in peace George.

  • Marian Beaman

    Ah, dearest Debby, I cannot imagine your pain. I feel it in our words, but know your heart is broken right now. You can be proud of your “Puppy,” and I can tell those who knew him as a gentle giant also regarded him as a man of integrity.

    Having gone through my aunt’s and mother’s estates, I know you have a tough job ahead. However, I wonder if you could file an extension for your federal income taxes as we can do here in the States. I hope that is possible as it would ease your burden a bit. It’s a one-page form; you don’t have to give a reason + just estimate amount of tax owed.

    Do cherish those sweet memories — and hang to those slippers too! ((( )))

  • sally cronin

    G will never be far away from you Debby and the love you shared was precious… There is no easy route through grief but knowing you are loved and cherished by us all, I hope will help… love and hugs Sally ♥

  • Robbie Cheadle

    A beautiful tribute to your husband, George. Thinking of you as you fulfil the tasks over the next week or so.

  • Joy Lennick

    Dear Debs, My tears flow for you. You are in my thoughts as I can imagine the grief you are feeling. No-one can replace your darling husband but, in time, you will be sustained by all the wonderful memories of when you were together. Take good care of yourself. Wishing you a Long Life. Love Joy. xx

  • Jane Sturgeon

    My lovely unicorn buddy, my heart goes out to you. G’s precious love will always be wrapped around you and your spirit guides are with you as you negotiate these difficult first steps in dealing with the legalities. We are your safety net and here for you as your loving collective. We’re your tribe, my love. Always. I love you. <3 Xxxx <3 <3

  • Daniel Kemp

    I was so sorry to read of your loss, Debby, but the one thing that stands out from all your writing is just how strong you are. You don’t need me to waffle on about grief and time making all things right. You know you will never forget your husband nor would you want to. I wish you well for the future and I’m sure that all the friends you have will help you. Keep strong and stay well.

  • Norah Colvin

    Sending hugs your way, Debby. Such a sad time for you. There are never any right words to say, no words to take your pain away. I hope, eventually, that your memories of shared joys will brighten your days.

  • Liesbet

    I’m so very sorry for all that you are going through, dear Debby. That fog is normal and you do need a level head for all the decisions and arrangements that are upon you. I hope this goes smoothly and that you will be able to grieve and let it all go soon, since your body and mind need that as well. My stomach constricts when I think about your broken hard and infinite sadness, of your terrible loss. I’m glad you were able to grand Puppy’s wish about the plots.

    In the US tax returns have been postponed for a month. This might have happened in Canada as well, due to Covid. Even though Mark checked for that upon our return to Massachusetts, he didn’t realize the extension until he called about an issue with our forms. I do hope you can focus on the filing at a later date. I also hope that you will be able to have a normal service for George in the near future. He – and you – needs and deserves a memorial service that does his life, existence, and influence justice.

  • Jim Borden

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. Your love for him comes through loud and clear in the posts you have written about him. He seems like a wonderful man. I wish you the best as you get through the next few weeks and all that entails.

  • John Maberry

    I know these are trying times. As difficult as they are, I know you will transcend them. You are strong. He was a wonderful man and it’s been so easy to see how the two of you fit together all these years. My heart goes out to you, along with our prayers. More later, when it is timely.

  • Tina Frisco

    Within grief you might feel torn apart, Deb; but when you come up for air, you will find comfort. I hope your journey serves you well. My heart to your heart ❤️❤️

  • Annika Perry

    Debby, this is a time when the virtual world fails somewhat, what you need, what we all want to do, is be there for you. A supporting presence of friends, to hold, cry, listen to your memories. Even to take a look at the tax form with you! Your tribute here to your husband moves me to tears, I feel for your loss, the void in your life. I trust with time the amazing life you shared, the wonderful husband and man he was, will bring you comfort, peace. For now very small steps and at no stage ask too much of yourself. There is no rule book for grief so deep. Sending you much love and hugs ❤️

  • Sue Dreamwalker

    Dearest Debby, I am so sorry for your sad loss my friend, no words I could ever find I know would not mend the grief in your heart right now.
    Just know I am sending you my heartfelt sympathy as I wrap you up in love. from my heart to your heart.
    Take as long as you need,
    I’m certain as you are certain, your dear husband will have just as many friends waiting to welcome him home as he had friends this side bidding him farewell.

    Much love dear Debby. Sending you my hugs.
    Love Sue 💜💛💜

  • peter johnson

    I have only just seen this. There is little more I can add, except for my deepest condolences, and that you are in my thoughts at this very sad time.
    Best wishes from England, Pete. x

  • Hilary Melton-Butcher

    Hi Debby – thank you for writing this in your loving style … for your Beloved – I’m so pleased the dreaded administration got dealt with and your plots purchased. I hadn’t realised he was in the automotive business – now I know … plenty of friends … I’ve been thinking of you and remembering your happy posts about your times together. With thoughts – Hilary

  • Carol Balawyder

    Dear Debby,

    I am so very sorry for the loss of the love of your life. Someone with whom you have shared much joy and happiness – a soul mate perhaps but that is not really accurate for his spirit surely lives on in your soul connecting you in the realm beyond the physical.
    His body may be gone but may memories of times with him live on in your heart and guide you through your deep period of grief.
    May these difficult times sow within you a beautiful garden in which your dear husband will always be a part of – a garden of hope, strength, gratitude that you shared time together and eternal love.
    With deepest sympathy,
    Carol xxx

  • Jacqui

    My heart breaks for you, Deb. Your affection for each other was so apparent in your posts. You are strong. You will get through this but first you must grieve. Hugs to you.

  • Amy M Reade

    I know he’s watching over you, Debby, as he joins the angels by your side. My heart is full of prayers for you and I know that the thoughts of hundreds of people are behind you to buoy you through the coming days of legal obligations. Make sure you’re eating and resting, even if you don’t feel like it, since those things will help sustain you right now, too. Big hugs to you.

  • Lauren Scott

    Oh, Deb, I am so saddened to read this news and my heart is breaking along with yours. I am speechless, no words to say that will lessen your pain. But know I am here, thinking of you, keeping you in my heart and prayers, and sending warm, comforting hugs your way. Take all the time you need. This is the part of life we wish we could avoid. Much love to you, dear friend. ❤️

  • Lisa Thomson

    Oh, Deb. I’m so very sorry. Such empty words for the loss you have are enduring. I’m sending love and hugs your way and holding our back if only virtually.

    • Robin O. Cochran

      Dearest Debby,
      You are like a sister to me and your pain is upon my heart daily. I pray for you, your heart, love of your husband “Puppy,” and hope that precious memories will sustain you until you can be able to move forward past your grief. . . Love you and sending you inner strength and a sense of peaceful comfort. ~ <3 Robin

      • dgkaye

        Thank you my lovely friend. I know you have been supporting me with your love and wishes on FB. Thank you for taking the time to stop by here and leave some more of your appreciated love. <3 xx

  • Marion Quinn

    Debby, I’, just sending you my love. You have so many messages here that already say it all. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Janice Spina

    My heart breaks for you, Debby. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Losing your other half is something that is unimaginable and devastating. I know from other friends who have lost their spouses. Please know that I think of you daily and pray that you will pick up and go on as best you can. They are watching you and helping you (I mean both your husband and God). They are there for you as are all your friends online and otherwise. Please take care and stay strong. Love & prayers, Janice (PS a beautiful heart wrenching post that brought me to tears!)

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Janice for your love and support. You hit the nail on the head, that’s exactly how it feels – unimaginable and devastating. <3 xx

  • Olga Núñez Miret

    Dear Debby, I’ve never been married, so I won’t tell you I know what you’re going through, although I’ve seen my mother go through the same (my parents had been married for over 50 years), and I know what a huge toll it took on her health (physical and mental), so make sure to take your time, and to try to take it slowly. I know many of us wish we could be nearer and circumstances were different (as you say, with COVID-19 even those who are close by are limited in what they can do), but… Here we are, virtually and spiritually.
    You never left your husband’s side and fought for him till the end, and I’m sure he is sending you all his love from up there.
    Love and hugs, and all the best from my mother as well. ♥

    • dgkaye

      Thank you for your beautiful words Olga. Certainly, this is the most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, and Covid is certainly making everything that much more difficult. Words escape me where feelings of anguish live within. They say it’s a process, but nobody knows how shattered a heart can be unless they’ve walked the walk. Thank you for your love and support. <3

  • Melanie McGauran

    I am so very sorry to hear of your husband’s passing Debby. You wrote such a poignant, painful, real tribute to him and to your love. Someone’s comment referenced signs, and I 1000% believe in them. You will see the sign(s) too when it appears because fate will position you exactly where you need to be to do so. (I have always found that concept to be comforting.) Please know I’m thinking of you and sending my deepest condolences to you at this time.

  • Diana Peach

    Sending you the warmest hugs, Debby. Once again, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, and my heart goes out to you. Over the years that I’ve known you, every single time you’ve mentioned your husband, your words have been full of love. He was a lucky man, and you were lucky to have him. Take care, my friend. Hugs.

  • Christy B

    My heart hurts for you Debby. I cannot imagine what it is like for you right now. Your Puppy and you were magical. Much love x You honor him so well with your tribute in the other post. Sending much love, always.

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