Health and wellness,  That's Life,  THOUGHTS

#Health #Caregiving – And working with the #Medical System

walk in shoes (2)

 

My size 6 feet may be a lot smaller than my husband’s shoes, but I’ve been like an appendage to him since the onset of his illness, and I can safely say that I’m wearing his shoes through this journey.

 

Besides the fact that I am an empath – HSP personality , with a deep awareness of other people’s pain and emotions, I’m also somewhat of an investigative FBI, – not technically, but my husband often refers to me as one. It’s in my DNA to get to the bottom of the cause of every situation.

 

I’ve made it my business through the decades, facing illness, my own and family members’, to learn about diseases, pharmaceuticals, symptoms and cures, by reading numerous medical journals, subscriptions to health magazines, and years of discussions with my brilliant Naturopath. I have rapports with many doctors from past and present. I’m not afraid to share the things I understand with them and ask questions, and when it comes to my husband, as his advocate, I chase down doctors, get them to collaborate with one another by sharing what each of them deducted with other doctors on the case. I take him to every test, scan, and have been his full time nurse in hospital.

 

My knowledge, and respect for the medical care staff reward me with privileges I sometimes take liberties with, thus allowing me to follow my husband directly into procedure and operating rooms, until it’s time for them to do their job. I give them background information they may have overlooked, remind them of his allergies and medications, and kindly request that I can have a word with them after the procedure before having to wait for results.

 

Why do I do these things? Of course I do them to make sure my husband is getting the best care, but in today’s medical world, sometimes things can go awry.

 

With our health system declining from too many cutbacks, far away from what it once was, there’s a shortage of doctors, nurses and time. As a micro-manager, I like to do my best to keep on top of everything and try to get information as best I can. Backlog of patients waiting for tests, delays in receiving results, getting to some resolution of illness, can all take much longer than the ‘g-olden days’.

 

I’m writing this article to spread awareness. Yes, I’m also sharing some personal updates about my husband, but I feel that’s only fair to all of you readers and friends here who’ve been so supportive of me through this journey. But I’m also sharing the things I do to keep the proverbial ‘ball’ rolling in his case. These are things that some of you may not be aware of with your current health care systems, and blessed to not have to encounter them.

 

I see things all the time in the hospital. I observe. I see patients alone in their rooms with no visitors – sometimes all day. I see vacant halls sometimes with no nurse in sight. I hear patient’s buzzers going off and moaning for what can seem like an eternity to them before someone responds. I know when patients have been sitting in a soiled bed or diaper for a length of time because the stench through the hallways is a good indicator.

 

I was quite aware that I was the only one walking up and down the corridors, waiting to catch a doctor, after asking nurses approximately when he’ll visit our floor. I learned when the best times were to make requests and where to find the nurses when I had a concern. I learned how to ‘shop’ as my sister so kindly taught me while she stayed at my side.

 

The point I’m trying to make here is that when a loved one is ill, and/or elderly, and doesn’t understand legal jargon, and has nobody to advocate for them, they become one of many patients waiting for their turn, waiting to get fixed, waiting to go home. They are at the mercy of ‘time’ and if they know no better, just do as they’re told because that’s what they’re instructed to do, and they have no choice but to put their faith in what they’re told without questions.

 

  • We need to speak up and ask questions. We need to ask about medications and their conflictions with other meds.
  • We need to offer information about underlying issues that doctors may not be aware of because the patient forgot to mention or was unable to.
  • We need to know what to expect during the healing process.
  • And most of all we need to be there for compassion, support and encouragement.

I couldn’t turn off my brain on countless nights my husband was in hospital after feeling guilty leaving him late at night, knowing I had only a few short hours to sleep before getting up early to be back there by 630am. I worried he may not be able to reach the cup of water I left as close to the bed as I could without hampering his path to be able to get up with his I.V. pole and try to get to the bathroom. I worried that he may be stuck in a blood-soaked diaper for too long before someone could help him change. I worry about everything.

 

I know some of you may not be interested in reading long posts, nor be interested in all of the details of my husband’s illness. But for those of you who would like to follow the mystery of this journey and learn how I made my own deductions, kept on the doctors with insisting they do certain tests, and how I keep the ball rolling, you can click HERE to read more.

But for all of you, I’m making a list below of some of the methods I’ve learned to keep on top of my husband’s own medical situation, which you can take as pointers which may help you if you’re ever faced with an unfortunate illness yourself or with a loved one.

 

REQUESTS

Nurses are not authorized to give anything – food or medications – to a patient without the doctor’s permission.

A good example here is: When my husband was given blood transfusions, after every bag of blood, he had to have blood work done to see what number his hemoglobin was at to determine if more blood was needed. If more was needed, a whole day went by before the doctor would visit and authorize another bag. After round one of this method, I asked the nurse if she could page the doctor and have him order the blood be taken after a bag was finished, and authorize the next bag if the number wasn’t high enough, instead of waiting all day. The nurses are very accommodating when they see you are there all the time helping out, and making their job easier.

SHOPPING

Shopping in the hospital is a hunt to gather supplies the patient requires. If you learn this art, it will save you waiting to ask a nurse, and then for her/him to finally have time to get these items for you.

For example: Pillows are hard to come by in hospitals; not every bed gets one. Go for a stroll down the corridors, look for an empty room, and grab one off a bed. Then don’t forget to change the pillow case with a fresh one from a cart in the hallway.

Staples you may need can be found on various carts in the corridors. You will find wipes, masks, clean hospital gowns, towels and linens, on these carts.

Help yourself to what’s needed for the patient, without having to bother a nurse. You may have to ask for diapers, as I did, but with every nurse change, I asked for a few more and stockpiled them for when needed so I wouldn’t have to frantically look for a nurse every time we needed one.

Also, those blue paper booties come in handy for the patient. My husband’s feet were (and still are) very swollen, his slippers were tight and hard to get on and off, so he was happy to keep the booties on his feet for his mad dashes to the bathroom.

Learn where the pantry is located. There you will find things like paper cups, an ice machine, little containers of juice and jello, and gingerale. These items are there for the patients.

TIMING

Pay attention to the doctor’s usual schedule for making appearances. This is important when you are awaiting test results. The doctors usually make their rounds early in the morning. If you miss their visit, you’ll have to wait till the end of their day before they come back. This is why I was there at 630am some days when I was waiting for the previous day’s test results. The doctor usually showed up around 7am, so it was imperative I was there. If you have any other concerns and are not expecting the doctor, you can ask the nurse to send him a message.

MONITORING

Learn the standard tricks of the I.V. pole. Many times you will hear it beeping. The beep is annoying and of course, a nurse can be awhile until she can fix it. It’s an alert that possibly the I.V. line is strangled and not dripping, or that the fluid, or blood bag is empty and may need replacing. The machine will usually read out the problem. You can untangle the line, or alert the nurse that the bag has finished and clear the alert by pressing the restart button yourself.

COPIES

Are you aware that you are entitled to a copy of all tests, and reports from doctor office visits and from hospitals? I make it a point to get a copy of every report when I leave a doctor’s office and the hospitals will give you copies when a patient is released. You can then make copies of all documentation to have handy for further doctor visits to hand him in case he hasn’t received them to update him. And I’d advise that you open a file with all these records for future need.

I do the same with requisitions from doctors.

For example: When I took my husband to the lab to have more blood work done the other day, I noticed that the specialist doctor we visited prior, who ordered it, hadn’t checked off the box to ‘CC’ my husband’s regular doctor. That would mean when we go back to him in a few days, he wouldn’t have the results, which he’d have to call in for, which would leave me still not knowing what they found until a next visit. So when we got to the lab, I requested that the results also be copied to our doctor. We signed a form to authorize the information to be shared, and then I could rest assured when we went to the appointment, the doctor would have the report.

Process of Illimination

I noticed after the return home from the second hospital visit, when my husband took his pills, within 10 minutes he got very dizzy. This happened for 2 days in a row and I was concerned and didn’t want to wait the few more days until his check up appointment. I had to figure out which of the ‘new’ pills was causing it. So the next day, I told him to leave out the new stomach pill for a few hours and see how he felt, he was still dizzy.

The next day I told him not to take the diuretic for a few hours, and again, he was dizzy. I knew the culprit and it wasn’t the new meds. I went over everything in my head, and remembered in the hospital his blood pressure went to normal instead of high because of his low hemoglobin. They didn’t give him his pressure pills in hospital.

I had an inkling that he came home and began taking his pressure pills, these were bringing his pressure to low, hence, the dizziness. The next day, I stopped his pressure pills, and he didn’t get dizzy. Later that day I took him to his regular doctor for a check up and discussed my findings. He commended me on noticing and finding the problem and advised me to keep him off them until at least next check up when he’d check the blood work to make sure the hemoglobin was going up.

Now this is a commonly overlooked situation when too many doctors are prescribing. One doesn’t always keep up with what’s currently going on, and people can end up taking too much medication.

These are just a few handy tips I can offer from my own experience, which can help make it easier for both the caregiver and the patient should the situation arise. I hope you should never have to experience illness, but it helps to know the ropes.

 

I’d like to thank you all again for reading, and leaving me such wonderful and encouraging comments. My husband’s journey still presents quite a few mysteries, which a team of doctors and myself are working diligently to solve.

I’m attaching HERE a detailed journey of when this all began, symptoms, tests, status report, and results so far, for those who’d like to read. Sometimes an answer is not so simple. And often, when the immune system is compromised, it can set off a chain of events from underlying issues – this is especially common with senior patients.

It’s up to us as caregivers to stay on top of issues, and to be proactive in keeping the doctors updated, and requesting that information is shared with all other concerning doctors to help move the process along. Don’t be afraid to use your voice. We learn by asking questions.

 

DGKaye©2016

 

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

73 Comments

  • Sue Vincent

    All good principles, Debby, and longterm caregivers will work most of them out through necessity. One you missed though was taking care of the caregiver… an absolute necessity, because without you there, a huge resource for healing is absent. I’ll never forget the nurse who told me early on when Nick was stabbed that the ones who made it were the ones who had people around them and were constantly there for them. The next six months were a nightmare and a haze spent on the roads between hospitals. But you know my son… it was worth it. I just wish I’d slept and eaten better then, I’m paying the price with my own health now. x

    • dgkaye

      You bring up a very valid point Sue. And as you know well, we are the last to be thinking of ourselves in these times. Yes, it is very important, but I am currently sitting where you have been: just running and doing, eating when I think about it, and sleeping half-assed. It’s like the adrenaline is constantly going (which I know is a bad thing).
      I am actually going to my own doctor tomorrow (if I can get away). And today is turning out to be a not so good day again for hub, so I’m once again trying to track down doctors.
      It’s a grueling process. I promise to get my shit together when I can. 🙂

      • Sue Vincent

        Just remember you need to be in one piece. I do remember what it is like and the adrenaline keeps you going while it is needed but do get what rest, food and support you can xxx

          • dgkaye

            Thanks Sue. I’m truly touched. I say that to myself 100 times a day. Today all the water that was drained is nearly back! I’m off to track down doctors once again. 🙁

          • Ralph

            Hi Debby and Sue 😀
            Instead of adding my own comment at the end of comments, I would like to chip in here if I may ?
            Your last sentence in your initial comment Sue is exactly what happened to me. Because all my attention was focussed on caring for my friend 24/7 until she died, I didn’t care for myself and am still paying for it medically now, three years later. I didn’t realise while caring that I was turning into an automatic zombie, having had little sleep and food for weeks. The release came when she died and I was free, a weight suddenly lifted. I was healthy before caring and almost immediately after caring all hell broke loose with my health. The Neurologist would not listen to me about the caring and blamed my condition on all sorts of weird and wonderful names and treatments, none of which worked. I reckon it’s a type of PTSD I have, but the doc doesn’t want to go down that route, so I stopped seeing her and having any more useless treatments.
            Debby ! Take care of yourself. Sue and I are examples of what may happen to you. If you can, make sure that you have lots of “me” time and help. I do hope hubby’s condition improves.
            Hugs to you both, Debby & Sue. Ralph xox <3

          • dgkaye

            Ralph you are a darling man. Thank you so much for visiting and leaving your important words. I know you guys are right, and I’m trying my best. Yes, it’s like I’m a zombie running on adrenaline. I know that’s dangerous and I’ve been checked by my naturopath who informed me my adrenal glands are full blown.
            I know I need a break. Day after day I’m waiting for the change, as though I’m holding my breath, waiting to exhale.
            It’s hard to go anywhere without him and get ‘me’ time because I just worry while away. It’s the sleep I’m craving. I don’t sleep well at nights because he’s up so much and I wake up on alert every time the bed moves.
            I know how much you’ve been going through with your health Ralph, and thanks for sharing that here.
            I am going to really try and restructure my ‘breathing’ time.
            Thanks to wonderful friends here, I am drilling this in my head!
            Love and Hugs xoxoxo <3

          • Ralph

            Reading your reply brings up a lot of similarities Debby. You do need help for a few hours a day. I was “sort of” helped for an hour in the mornings by 2 local friends for her last three weeks, not enough for me, but those hours I cherished …… well, I slept ! I do hope that you can find someone to help you as your health is as important as hubby’s. Hugs back. <3

          • dgkaye

            You are just too sweet my friend. Thank you for the important reminders. It’s all me here Ralph, but I do have a circle of wonderful friends who keeps tabs on me, offers up ears, some bring meals, and my sister the rock is here when the load is about to snap me. But I know what you mean. That is emotional support. As far as physical help, that’s my job solo. I really miss sleep though, somehow I can’t find someone to do that for me, lol. I’ll get there my friend. I miss reading blogs every night, but time is short, or I’m too darned worn out sometimes, so I’m doing the best I can for now. xoxo <3

  • marianbeaman

    You certainly have stayed on top of things during this trying time. Also an HSP, I can relate to your deep feelings and desire to advocate for your husband. Now to click on your “detailed journey.” Thank you for being YOU and sharing knowledge with your followers.

  • D. Wallace Peach

    I just finished reading about your medical journey. How frightening, Debby. Wow. I wish it wasn’t such a mystery and rollercoaster ride. I’ve had a few relatives and friends in the hospital lately and you are so right about the importance of advocacy. It’s absolutely essential and your tips are wonderful. I’m glad to hear that there’s progress. You’re clearly a godsend to your husband.

  • Carol Balawyder

    Your husband is really lucky to have his own Doctor Debby taking care of him. Every family should be as lucky to have such a caring and proactive person as you are. The hospital staff must be grateful to have you there to help out and make their job a bit less hectic. Keep well.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Carol. My husband thanks me every day. And I know from the rapport I acquire with all his doctors and nurses, they appreciate the patient having an advocate and someone to keep track of everything. You’d be surprised at how many times one hand doesn’t know what the other has done when there are so many tests and doctors involved with one patient. 🙂

  • Hugh's Views and News

    A very valuable post, Debby. Here in the UK we have a wonderful health system that has subject to many cuts. As you may recall, my mother passed away last year and I was astonished by how poor some of the services were because of cut backs. If it wasn’t for family members then she would have suffered terribly. Thankfully, both my Brother and I were there with her during the last few days. The staff were brilliant but we could see that they were understaffed and under immense pressure because of the cutbacks.
    We did all we could to help and they were always so very thankful for that because it took the pressure off them a little.
    Sending both Hubby and you virtual hugs.
    xx

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for the hugs Hugh, much appreciated. <3
      And yes I do remember about your mother. And how wonderful you and your brother were able to be there for her and keep her comfortable.
      I know the health care isn't much different than here because my best friend lives in the U.K. and she's had her share of hospital there. We exchange sad stories.
      Yesterday I was very blue, but today I have renewed hope after visiting our Naturopath. He will begin tomorrow giving hub I.V. therapy to build up the liver and hopefully bring up some levels that are the cause of all the fluid buildup. I've always put my faith in him in times of need, so I'm optimistic. And when good things start happening, I'll be sure to report back! 🙂 xoxo

  • elainemansfield

    I read the medical details. I’ve been there with Vic. I’ve seen the helpful drainage of fluid around the lungs and I’ve seen it come right back, first in a few days but then almost overnight. fortunately, for Vic, there was no pain with that procedure. I’m so sorry both of you are having to go through this. I’m in Cambridge at the moment. My brother is hospitalized. I’m seeing the whole thing unfolding again. Whew! Hang in there and get some rest. How about a massage? For you, that is. Sending love.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks so much Elaine for taking time out of your own busy circumstances and reading.
      Yes, the drainage and the fluid coming right back was so deflating. We are awaiting another procedure.
      In the meantime, I’ve taken hub to our wonderful Naturopath today, armed with every lab and scan result. He explained to me why this fluid keeps building up because something is low producing in the liver, which causes the fluid build up. It’s so wonderful to sit with a doctor who understands the nitty gritty details and the big picture, and takes the time to explain everything, as well as offer hope. Tomorrow my hub will begin homeopathic I.V. therapy to build up the liver and the levels needed to alleviate the bloating. This should start working by the 2nd therapy next week.
      Oh, and a massage sounds like heaven . . . if I had the time.
      I left comment on your blog last night when I visited there about wishes for you and your brother. We can never stop hoping, and for the things we cannot control, we can provide comfort and encouragement. It goes a long way.
      Hugs back to you my friend. And don’t forget to breathe! 🙂 <3

  • John Maberry

    You are doing a great job! Lots of great tips! Hang in there. And like Sue Vincent said, get some respite care for yourself.

    Don’t know if they’re any more common or locatable in Canada than the US, but the coming thing that’s desperately needed with the aging population is a geriatrician. That’s a doctor that specializes in the older patients who often have multiple doctors pumping them full of drugs that may interact. It’s a low-paying specialty currently but will be needed more and more. They serve to get and coordinate treatment options by getting all of the test data, prescriptions, etc. A primary care physician should do this anyway but the geriatrician has the added expertise of being fully aware of the medical realities of the aged. Probably could take the place of the PCP.

    • dgkaye

      Now that would sound wonderful John. In Canada the ‘boomer’ population surpasses the younger generation, so one would think that there would be a plan in action for seniors here, instead the cutbacks are killing people.
      You’d be surprised at how many lab reports I’ve read listing different meds my hub takes that get circulated around to other doctors, which are wrong.
      It’s exhausting, not only being a caregiver around the clock, but double checking everything with doctors who should be paying more attention.
      Thanks for visiting and always leaving your positive feedback. 🙂

  • Jacqui Murray

    Great suggestions. The day of implicit trust in doctors is gone. Not their fault, just the way it is. I learned that when my 4-year-old daughter was in the hospital for a rare cancer-like disease. Specialists recommended everything from radiation to surgery to a halo. Turns out, not surprisingly, they always recommended their area of expertise.

    • dgkaye

      Sorry to hear you’ve been through this ringer Jacqui. And as you said, it’s now ‘the way it is’. We have only ourselves to help where we can and keep pushing with doctors to remind them we’re not numbers in a system, we’re human beings. 🙂

  • Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

    Thanks for the very thorough work up on the other link Debby.. Your husband is so lucky to have you.. not just as a supportive wife, but one who understands the process. As Sue has already said, you need to take care of you too… I wish I was closer to help with the external but necessary chores.. but as always sending you love and hugs. XX

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Sal for visiting here in the midst of your mayhem! I’m working it alright. And thanks for the kudos, especially knowing how well-versed you are in health and nutrition.
      It’s once again, timely, that I’m reading your book, “Pass on the Viagra . . .” I can relate to so many of those sections on the organs and am absolutely floored at your wealth of information and that you aren’t a medical doctor!
      A very intense week around here. I’m looking forward to catching up at your place. 🙂 And don’t I wish we lived closer! Thank you for your friendship and ongoing support. xoxoxo <3 <3

      • Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

        Knowledge is power Debby.. Big words that are bandied about for the benefit of those without an ology in the subject is no good for anyone.. I just woke up in my early 40s after being lectured by an overweight doctor talking gibberish and decided that I needed to learn the language and translate it into English! Once I got into it I became fascinated.. Glad that it is proving useful.. even as confirmation of your own knowledge on the subject. love and hugs X

  • Kev

    What a terrible ordeal, Debbie. When I clicked on you other site to read more and recollected your post about visiting AZ, from the flu symptoms I immediately though… he contracted Valley Fever! If only! Despite the fact that Valley Fever can turn into more serious illnessess, I doubt that is the case, however it’s still a possibility, that he did and it became the catalyst for an already underlying condition. Sending well wishes and hoping that he finds the right treatment.

    • dgkaye

      Hi Kev. Thanks for dropping by in your own time of worry. And thanks for your share here. Yes, I am quite aware of Valley Fever, and although I don’t think that’s what we had, it was a strain of influenza, definitely after weakening my hub’s already compromised immune system, it heightened the issues with his liver.
      We’re still running circles, as the fluid has increased again, so I’ll be starting the same merry go round with doctors tomorrow morning.
      Thanks again for your well wishes. Much appreciated. 🙂 Wishing the same for you and Pat.

      • Kev

        My goodness… I do hope they find what it really is very soon so they can give proper treatment and get him on the mend… If what they’ve done so far isn’t working then it stands to reason they must explore other possibilities for the pathways. Blessings to you both during this time of great trial, Debbie.

        • dgkaye

          Thanks so much Kev for taking the time to read and leave encouragement here, especially while you’re going through your own journey. Sending healing thoughts and positive thoughts to you and Pat. xo

  • adeleulnais

    Wonderful that you keep on top of things and I love that you do the shopping. When my Mam was in hospital, many times, we followed the same route. She would tell me and my daughter what she needed, or indeed many of the other patients in her ward and we would toddle off to get required items. I live in the UK but we face almost the same problems here as it seems you do in America. I am in total agreement that we have to keep informed and keep the doctors informed. I am sending prayers and hugs, hoping your husband is well.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read Adele. And thanks for sharing your own stories.
      Yes, the UK health system is not far off from ours here in Canada. If we aren’t proactive, the patients will fall behind in the system.
      Thanks for your support and well wishes. They are most welcome and encouraging. 🙂

  • Aquileana

    Dear Debbie… this is such a thorough and informative post… I value the fact that you are able to objectively consider the issue and with all edgings from such a technical perspective, so to speak…
    You are right,… If the medical situation is complex and quite rough in Canada, imagine how it would be in Argentina… and we are more close if we compared it to other countries … Health and right to life are basic human rights… but there is still a a sort of `straw man´ between what would be considered an optimal situation or at least a good one… and what reality forks up..
    Capitalist governments all around the world are putting aside health care… When I watched the American GOP debate on CNN, I just couldn’t believe how Ted Cruz ranted against free Obama´s health care… I don´t want to bring a political issue, but I truly believe that political and economical interests act detrimentally when it comes to Health issues.
    I congratulate you for all your efforts and achievements as an exemplary wife…
    Sending love and best wishes. Aquileana ⭐️.-

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Aq, for reading and leaving your comment (which I happily found in spam :() You are so right. It’s all about beaurocracy and cutbacks. We are all left having to fight and fend for ourselves or we got lost in the system.
      Thanks you for your kind words and wishes. xo <3

  • Sherri

    Oh Deb, what a nightmare, but how incredibly vigilant you are. I read all about your husband’s health scares, and all you’ve both been through. Terrifying yet you kept your head, knew what to do, who to call, questions to ask and had everything to hand with your husband’s past medical history. I felt like this with my mum recently. The care was good on the acute stroke ward but once moved to the elderly/stroke ward, the number of times I had to keep tabs on everything, and Mum too, who was able to keep proactive by then, I have lost count. The story sounds so much like ours here in the UK, so many cut backs affecting the level of care. You are brave and so right to put this message up on your blog as there are many other there who wouldn’t know where to begin with how to keep on top of all this confusion at such a frightening and worrying time for loved ones. I can only hope that you are keeping yourself rested and as well as you can while you go through all of this and that your husband is recovering as the doctors get to the bottom of the root cause of everything so that soon he will be able to go home and make a full recovery. My love and hugs go out to out to you my friend…thinking of you… <3 xoxo

    • dgkaye

      Aw thanks so much Sher for taking the time to read the rather lengthy attachment to the post. You and I have certainly been on a journey it seems. It’s tough, and although so many wonderful friends here leave good wishes and remind me to take of myself, it is ultimately the caregiver who keeps going and remembers to eat when her stomach reminds her. Sleep is a valuable commodity as I wake every time he stirs or goes to the bathroom in fear.
      We have a ways to go, but I know what has to be done, and if I could do it myself I would. For now all I can do is push, push, push, until they get sick of me, and still being nice with my pushiness because as we all know, being nasty isn’t going to get us any further.
      I’m hoping and praying to see daylight this week. I have an updated post out today, but still waiting. xoxoxo <3

  • Marje @ Kyrosmagica

    Your hubby sounds a very lucky man to have such a caring wife by his side. Lots of points here Debby well done for sharing them, hospitals can be very lonely and scary places for patients, particularly vulnerable, and elderly ones. Thinking about you, both. xxx

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Sach. I don’t know about superwoman, but I’m flying blind with nothing stopping me. My determination has got me through many hurdles in life, and I aint succumbing to this one! 🙂

    • dgkaye

      Oh Ellie, thank you so much to both you and your hub. Honestly the wishes and prayers from so many in our community has been truly overwhelming, and I can feel them. I may be worn out and frustrated, but I never lose my faith or optimism. And knowing friends like you are putting in a good word for us with the Big Man upstairs, is more encouraging. Thank you so much dear Ellie. xo <3

  • LindaGHill

    Been there with my youngest son. I know I’m the one who keeps it all together as far as his medical history is concerned. And with good reason – he has volumes of paperwork. Advocacy is exhausting, but it’s necessary. Hang in there, Debby. 🙂 I’m with you in spirit.

  • Sue Dreamwalker

    Debbie at last I have solved my technical issues… uninstalled my browser and re-installed.. This seems to have done the trick.. 🙂

    I read your post with a heavy heart.. I know how it feels to have your hubby in hospital and you await those Drs to probe them to find information.. In 2009 I thought I was losing my hubby as an ulcer burst and he bled internally and only due to one amazing lady Dr who performed a miracle.. Is he with me today..

    I Sigh big time at your hospitals.. Not even a pillow!! Oh my..
    Here we have also a shortage of Drs and right now the junior ones are striking at intervals for better contracts.. They work long LONG hours.. And have my support.. But even within our UK National Health Service we have extensive waiting times in ER.. Or as we say AE.. ( Accident and Emergency) And I know from experience with my Grandparents the lack of attention given and the buzzers that do not get any attention..
    Along with the lack of staff on busy wards.

    But having said all that. I give thanks for our NHS.. And the care it delivers.. At no cost..

    Last month I had a serious health scare.. One I have not even shared with my Son or Daughter as I didn’t want them worrying until I had some results.. .. But I was given the utmost care.. Admitted to scans and tests all within 2 weeks of my initial visit to the GP..
    Thankfully I am fine..and its treatable.. And not life threatening.. So I give thanks for our British Health care system.. Despite its flaws.. And reading your own journey I give thanks all the more for it being paid for through our National Health Contributions which those who work pay a percentage of through their income..
    Its not perfect… But reading some horror stories within some of my blogging friends from the USA.. I am so grateful for it..

    I hope your hubby continues to improve dear Debbie… Love and Hugs.. Sue xxx

    • dgkaye

      Oh wow Sue, I’m so glad you’re okay. You didn’t let us know, which is understandable, especially when we’re ill we don’t even feel like talking to anyone.
      You are so right. Our healthcare system is very similar to yours. We do have to be grateful for the help we do get, but the system is backlogged with patients because of so many terrible bureaucratic cutbacks. People can wait long times for serious tests and treatment. And I know some die waiting.
      We have to be our own best advocates following symptoms and signs, and keeping test results, and keeping on the doctors as best we can to keep in good standing and not piss them off. There is a line, but I inch up to that line as close as I can.
      You are blessed to have been taken care of within the 2 weeks, and your husband’s life being saved. There is much to be grateful for, it’s just sometimes hard to see that while we’re living in the chaos.
      Thanks again Sue for visiting and sharing your own stories here and for your kindness always. Sending you much love xoxo

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