Guest Author Feature – Balroop Singh – Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person

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Featured author of the week

 

Today’s guest feature is author/blogger and friend, Balroop Singh. She is a nonfiction writer and a poet.

 

I met Balroop through blogging when I found so many of her posts resonated with my own personal beliefs. Balroop is a beautiful spirit, and an eternal optimist despite weathering many storms in her past, and all of her books are based on her spiritual and inspirational writing.

I recently had the pleasure of reading her latest book – Allow Yourself To Be a Better Person, (my review is here), and I knew, based on what she shares of herself and her experience that I would love that book and I look forward to eventually reading all of her books.

Author Balroop Singh

 

About Balroop:

Balroop Singh, a former teacher, an educationalist, a blogger, a poet and an author always had a passion for writing. The world of her imagination has a queer connection with realism. She could envision the images of her own poetry while teaching the poems. Her dreams saw the light of the day when she published her first book: ‘Sublime Shadows Of Life.’ She has always lived through her heart. She is a great nature lover; she loves to watch birds flying home. The sunsets allure her with their varied hues that they lend to the sky. She can spend endless hours listening to the rustling leaves and the sound of waterfalls. Balroop lives in Danville, California.

 

Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person by Balroop Singh

 

Balroop’s latest book, Allow Yourself To Be a Better Person is Available at Amazon 

 

Blurb:

Do you think you are a good person? Would you like to meet your better self? Welcome to the vast vistas that this book unravels before you by highlighting the shaded areas that could never get your attention.
Enhancement of personality is a long process, which starts only when we acknowledge the need for it. Often we detest looking at our imperfections and if somebody is professionally successful, the thought doesn’t even strike.
This book enlightens you about the goodness, which lies dormant within us till we make an effort to explore it. It exhorts you to introspect and accept natural human failings. It guides you towards the metamorphosis that could make you an endearing personality.

 

Welcome Balroop and I’m happy to have you here today to enlighten us about yourself and your inspirational writing.

 

From conversations we’ve shared in comments and many of your posts and your poetry, I detect that your childhood wasn’t ideal. How did you learn to rise above and not fall prey to the negativity you encountered?

 

Whenever I hear this song – “Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance, I wanna grow up again”…tears well up in my eyes and my heart can feel the pang concealed in this verse. I know there are children who don’t have a perfect childhood even today and when I look at them or read their stories, I tell myself…I was okay.

It is quite difficult to share layers of darkness that shroud me but I lost my father to a road accident when I was 12 and you can understand how challenging life could be for us. I grew up in the cauldron of circumstances, adversities molded my personality and my mother’s determination steeled me. I learned all the lessons of life by encountering them head on and negativity was a very little element in the face of setbacks that I saw at a very young age. When you tell yourself what could be worse than what we have, negativity dare not touch you!

 

Your writing is not only beautiful but filled with such wisdom about human emotions. What kind of experiences did you encounter in life when you were younger that inspired you to write books?

 

Who cares about human emotions? Do people understand them? Is it essential to display them when they can be read through one’s eyes? Many such questions haunted me when I was told to grieve. ‘How dare you smile or laugh’…was the perpetual message! Societal norms, judgmental people and a feeling of emptiness encompassed me during the most impressionable years of growing up.

I did put up a brave front, telling myself that it must be the way of the world. Moments of joy around me were snatched away by those who chose to live in sorrow but I learnt very early that emotions could never be suppressed; it is better to accept them, embrace them and conduct a meaningful dialogue with them. Some of them were shoved into the obscure corners of my mind, which crept out when I learnt to deal with them. All these now find way into my books, making a natural spring of emotional resilience.

 

 Most of your writing and poetry is based on human emotions and inspirational and uplifting prose. What inspires your poetry?

 

Probably I am too sensitive and intuitive. Even small incidents of misery, oppression, injustice, discrimination and violence around me pursue my thoughts till I decant them into words of my choice. Emotions have imprisoned me, ruled me and tried to smother me but I channelized them and poured them into my poetry. A somber solace pervades around me now!

When I published my first book of poetry ‘Sublime Shadows Of Life’, I sent it to my friends. One of my school friends who had not been in touch with me rang me up and asked me – ‘is everything ok in your life?’ When I replied in affirmative, she said she got worried as many of my poems are submerged in grief!

 

You write with such depth and knowing of the human psyche. Did your background in education involve studies in psychology, or did you accumulate your insights from observing and your own experiences?

 

I could never get the opportunity to choose Psychology as a subject of study though I would have loved to delve deeper into human psyche through a systematic study. Most of my insights and perceptions were gathered from observation and analysis of people who meet us in various garbs and gears. The study of Literature, discussion of diverse characters and their motives, critical analysis of poetry and drama must have developed my interest and ability.

I have spent a major chunk of my life amongst youngsters of the age group 15 – 17 years; their intrepid and unassuming reactions, their idealism, aspirations and their buoyant, ever-inspiring energy further honed my skills of getting into the skin of various kinds of people around us.

 

When do you think was the pivotal point in your life that inspired you to begin writing books?

 

There comes a point in life when we discover we have plenty of time, when you arrive at a station, which welcomes you with your solitude and inspires you to start afresh, when one phase of life gets over and you realize you have a lot inside you…that was my point of awakening. My girls flew away overseas for further study and a deluge of emotional outburst resulted in my first poetry book. One of my friends told me ‘this is just the tip of the iceberg!’ It was indeed!

 

What advice would you give us about how we can work to free our souls from emotional, negative chains that keep us bound to people that aren’t bringing any positivity to our lives?

 

Negative and emotional chains are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy and often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength yet they ennoble us, tame our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings. However hard you try, you wont be able to knock negativity out of your lives. You have to deal with it – self-talk, introspection, detachment and writing your reactions down often helps.

All those hurts, the agony, the emotional throttling gets assuaged when we pour it out, when we weave a wreath of words to be placed on those buried memories, when we share it in the form of a poem, a story or a book that we write. Freedom starts the moment we pen down our thoughts. We feel relieved. We learn to forgive. We rise above human imperfections.

 

What advice would you like to share with us about building and maintaining healthy, emotional relationships?

 

I have written a book about ‘Emotional Truths of Relationships’…here is an excerpt that answers your question:

Relationships have to be nurtured slowly and carefully, their brittleness is felt only when they are on the verge of falling apart. Take care of the words you use. They act like arrows, words spoken in anger or frustration cause deep wounds, which never heal. It may not be always easy to control your rancor but prudent are those who think before they speak.

Many loving relationships break up due to arrogance of establishing supremacy, whether it is your spouse or sibling. If you think you have the capability to control, you are seriously mistaken. Self-respect and freedom is dear to all.

When we pretend to be loving and affectionate but our actions and words are not in consonance with what we pose to be, such relationships never grow well. Do you think people are so dumb that they can’t see through your sham? If you expect others to respect you, don’t forget they too expect the same. Hurting their self-esteem can boomerang. Lack of respect for each other is a slow slayer of relationships!

We all possess human frailties, which are either inherent or picked up from the environment. Nobody is born perfect…we learn from each other. All we need is the will to improve our relationships.

Blaming our past or our parents who could not give us the best of this world will not make us better human beings. Our own efforts would.

 

 Your book, Allow Yourself To Be a Better Person offers much insight on traits and habits of our personalities in which many are formed from our backgrounds and upbringings, shedding light on how we can overcome the negative traits and build a more stable and happier sense of self. Would you please share an excerpt with us?

 

Sure! Here is an excerpt from my latest book:

 

There was a time when I never gave a thought to becoming a better person as I considered myself to be ‘the best.’ Probably we all think like that!

At the threshold of youth, we are too vain and self-centered, living in the world of our dreams and friends…a blessed domain of self-absorption, of freedom… devoid of any fetters that link us to societal norms.

Then I came across William Faulkner’s observation: “Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

Better than myself? But ‘I am the best,’ I told myself!

The arrogance of this thought hit me hard when I met my husband. I hardly knew him as he was ushered into my life as a prospective groom who had been chosen for me. I was told ‘he is the best!’

But that is another story.

I am glad I soon realized that we all have some imperfections, which we refuse to reflect on.

I discovered that each personality could be enhanced. I learned that self-enhancement is the dream of almost all people…areas may differ.

I also learnt that what holds us back is our own ego, which talks to us in hyperboles.

We can only become a better person if we have the inclination and the resolve, only if we accept that life is a learning curve and all experiences add something to our personality.

 

Debbie, I would like to extend my gratitude to you for providing me this awesome opportunity of sharing my works with you. I love your benevolence and amiable nature of taking such an initiative.

 

Thank you Balroop for coming here today to share some of yourself and your work. I’m sure your writing is inspirational for people of all ages, we are never too old to get in touch with our higher selves. It was a pleasure having you here to spread your wisdom by sharing with others.

 

Connect with Balroop:

 

You can visit my blog at: http://balroop2013.wordpress.com

Let’s connect: https://twitter.com/BalroopShado

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Emotional-Shadows/151387075057971

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+BalroopSinghsrao/posts

https://www.pinterest.com/balroops/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7340810.Balroop_Singh

Visit all of Balroop’s books at her Amazon Author Page

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50 Comments

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  1. Many thanks dear Debbie for inviting me to over to your blog to talk about my works and what inspires my books. I hope ‘Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person’ would inspire many readers to start their journey towards self-enhancement…a dream we all share.
    Love and hugs for being such an awesome friend. 🙂

    1. Thank you Balroop. It was my absolute pleasure having you here to share your work for others to get to know your inspirational writing, and the author behind the words. <3

  2. Sounds like a great book – I think I’ll be putting this one on my TBR list!

    1. I’m sure you will enjoy it Stevie. 🙂

    2. Thanks Stevie, I am sure you would like this book.

      1. It’s on my TBR list – hopefully next month.

        1. Wonderful Stevie. We all know about that big fat TBR, lol. I have 3 or 4 more of your books awaiting mine too. 🙂

  3. You are always “allowing yourself to be a better person,” Debby. Thank you for doing that as you promote this wonderful author, Balroop Singh.

    1. Thanks so much Marian for your always kind compliments. And looking forward to your book! 🙂

    2. Thank you for your kind words Marian, much appreciated. Debbie is no less than a wonder woman 🙂

  4. Good interview, Balroop. I liked the answer to what inspired you to write–“we discover we have plenty of time”. Me too!

    1. Thanks Jacqui. Always time to write, sometimes at strangest times of the day or night. You can’t time inspiration. 🙂

    2. Thanks Jacqui, I am glad you could relate to plenty of time we have after one phase of life gets over but my pleasure doubled when i moved closer to my grandchildren…another blissful aspect of life began 🙂

  5. Wonderful to see Balroop here today and learn more about her! Thanks Debby 🙂 Balroop, I appreciate your openness in this conversation, Your childhood had tragedy but you continue to focus on the positive and that gives us all inspiration!

    1. Yes she is truly inspiring Christy. Thanks so much. <3

    2. Positivity seems to be ingrained in me Christy, probably I have it in my DNA because I can hope against hopes and can inspire myself! Thanks for your lovely words.

  6. Such a moving and inspirational post, Debby. Balroop, I so enjoyed learning more about you, and I couldn’t agree more with your insights. I especially like that you mentioned emotions must be embraced and dealt with, rather than repressed. What we choose not to look at is what controls our lives. You are a beautiful soul and a bright light in the world. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of yourself with us. Hugs to you and Deb for this wonderful post 💖💖

    1. Aw Tina my dear friend, your comment is also enlightening and no doubt as your writings are often similar to Balroop’s. <3 Thank you sweet friend of mine. 🙂 xoxo

    2. Thank you dear Tina for such lovely compliments! You made my evening so pleasant 🙂 Embracing emotions didn’t come naturally to me, I must have spent many hours understanding why people hurt and when we analyse their behaviour, which is often guided by self-interests, we learn to take care of our own selves by dismissing them from our thoughts. Hugs back to you dear friend, I appreciate your choice of words.

      1. Most welcome, Balroop, and richly deserved ♥

  7. Debby, it is lovely to see Balroop on your blog and learn so much more about her! Balroop, you are a truly inspiring person and reading through the interview I just kept nodding, you are so right. Particularly on emotions and that ‘it is better to accept them, embrace them and conduct a meaningful dialogue with them’. Fighting emotions never has any winners, either for oneself or those around. Also I’m a great advocate of the power of words and even as young was aware of their force – to do good and to harm. I am notorious for being exact with what I say…and meaning it. Yes, throwaway words are like : ‘They act like arrows, words spoken in anger or frustration cause deep wounds, which never heal’. Thought-provoking interview, well done to you both! 😀❤️

    1. Thanks so much Annika. Wow, so interesting that phrase you chose resonated with so many here. It was a pleasure hosting Balroop here because her writing has many lessons in them for everyone, from her poems to her books, there is something for everyone. 🙂 <3

    2. Thank you Annika, I am delighted at being called an inspiring person…honestly speaking I had to make a lot of effort to learn it, dismissing all those thoughts of ‘never forgive,’ which my mind often shrieked. I found great solace in leaving the dark shadows behind me and finally deciding to forgive all.
      I appreciate your confessions dear friend, thanks for sharing them. 🙂 Stay blessed!

  8. What an interesting post Debby, Balroop and I love that quote by William Faulkner. I’ve never come across that before. I’ll have to steal it and add it to my favourite quotes!

    1. Thanks Marje. Balroop is full of wonderful wisdoms. 🙂

    2. Thanks Marje,,,go ahead! I stole this meaningful quote from Goodreads 🙂 I believe that we become better each day if we have the inclination and the passion to change. 🙂

      1. Thanks Balroop, have just added it to my favourite quotes on my About Me page. 🙂

  9. I loved learning more about Balroop here. I’ve been a follower for a long time and yet learned a lot. This is my favorite statement and there’s so much wisdom in this: “I learnt very early that emotions could never be suppressed; it is better to accept them, embrace them and conduct a meaningful dialogue with them.” It’s no wonder her posts are so thoughtful and full of wisdom. <3

    1. Thanks so much Diana. I agree with you on the statement you chose, and I believe I’m not the only one here doing so. 🙂 <3

  10. Thanks a TON dear Diana for such beautiful words, they mean a lot to me. 🙂

  11. I’m so glad that I didn’t miss this post! Balroop, you’ve ‘weaved a wreath of wonderful words’ here about our emotions and allowing them to come forth. I loved reading about you here. Thanks to you and to Debby!

    1. Thanks for making it over Pam. Balroop is most beautiful writer. 🙂

      1. Yes-I really enjoy her blog!

    2. Thanks Pamela, your words seem like music to my ears…persons like you who write light-hearted anecdotes and stories are like spring sprouting forth with colourful blossoms, spreading their radiance, which dispels darkness. Stay blessed 🙂

      1. Thank you, Balroop. You just lightened MY day. xo

  12. You have a lovely way of interviewing, Debby. You ask such wonderful, insightful questions! 🙂

    I have been a follower of Balroop and yet, as all bloggers do sometimes, we wander in and out of each other’s blogs.
    I have admired Balroop in how she is confident, yet open. She lets you know what she thinks but also displays warmth and kindness. Her poetry that I have read, always makes an impact upon me.
    Thanks for featuring this newest book, “Allow Yourself to Be a Better Person.” 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Robin for your lovely compliments! I try my best to tailor my questions specifically to my guest’s accomplishments. Thanks for noticing. Balroop was an absolute delight to have over here, so glad you enjoyed. 🙂 <3

    2. Nice to meet you here Robin! When did we wander out and why, that’s what I am thinking right now…I seem to be looking for new friends and when my email box overflows, I think I get overwhelmed with it!! No excuses, I am visiting you right now but before that I must thank you for such lovely words. You made my day dear friend…they say ‘old is gold’ but one should never take anyone for granted 🙂
      You are right, Debbie’s questions are so thought-provoking and profound.
      Many thanks for connecting with me. Love and hugs.

  13. To be positive and inspirational, as both of you are, is just wonderful. Those are personality traits I respect and am in awe of and wish I could posses a better dose of. Thanks for introducing me to Balroop, Debby. You find the most interesting people and take time to invite them and interview them on your blog. You are such a supportive friend to have! 🙂

    Liesbet @ Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary

    1. Aw, thanks so much Liesbet for your lovely compliment. I’m glad to hear that my interviews are interesting. If you’re looking for some great inspiration, check out Balroop’s books. 🙂

    2. I am glad to meet you Liesbet. Thanks for finding our words positive, I have tried to learn positivity from the rough terrain that I stumbled upon as I believe the choice lies with us. Debbie has been the most loving and understanding friend, she has time for everybody who crosses her path. Love her for her kindred spirit as she creates beautiful bonds 🙂

  14. I have read some of Balroop’s lovely poetry, Debby. It is great to have an opportunity to learn more about her and how she writes and how she came to write at all. I find reading about people’s lives and motivations fascinating.

    1. Thanks Robbie. I also find people’s lives fascinating. I suppose that’s why I enjoy writing memoirs. 🙂

  15. Hi Robbie, I am delighted to know that you have read my poetry. Thank you so much for telling me as it would give me an impetus to write more 🙂 A word of appreciation can carry us far into the world of motivation and imagination.

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