Appreciation,  That's Life

Social Courtesy

 

wtf

When did it become acceptable to stop saying thank you or excuse me? When were the rules of common courtesy changed?

I realize people are busy, but we shouldn’t forget about common courtesies in every aspect —  cyber or real life. Why are some people so pushy in the grocery store? I can’t tell you how many times I encounter rudeness there. People will literally squeeze their body right in front of you and a shelf as if you aren’t even standing there, without batting an eye or uttering an ‘excuse me.’

Another peeve of mine is when the aisles are narrow, people will park their cart smack in the center while they’re ten feet up the aisle hoarding things to come back and throw into their cart, which also happens to be holding up four other people. I don’t get it and it pisses me off. I don’t think courtesies should be any different in the cyber world with social media.

I like to live by the adage of giving back. It works for me. I give and I receive and sometimes although it may take awhile until the universe gives us back in gratitude, it always does.

 

In our social cyber world there are so many of us in it struggling to be seen or heard. We all want our words of wisdom heard or mentions of our works to be seen, but we cannot ask for these things without giving back and so we shouldn’t. This is the proper etiquette of social media. This mantra is talked about often in our social cyber world. There are many publications on how to be diplomatic and not pushy with our tweets but sometimes I am puzzled by the amount some of us put out to praise others on a continual basis and yet some of these praises aren’t even acknowledged by a thank you nor are they reciprocated so our words in turn may be shared. I personally don’t think it is fair or good business.

 

Some will thank you, some will not and there are some who won’t pay the courtesy back to retweet or repost someone else’s info. I can’t help but wonder if this is because they cannot be bothered or if somehow the thought of putting something out or resharing for someone else takes away from themselves. The universe is abundant. A kindness we pay to someone won’t take away from ourselves, in fact it would make us shine brighter. So a simple reminder for us all to be courteous is the message I am sharing here.

 

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

32 Comments

  • Equipping The Saints

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thought, which matches yours. Whenever I go to a restaurant, or to any other place of business, I have found the common response to my words, “thank you,” are “no problem.” Very kindly, I will say,
    I hope that I’m not a problem. I’m bringing business into your store. Where, oh where, did manners of etiquette go?

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for visiting ETS. These are just some the things we encounter in life and I thought by sharing them out loud it may make some aware who perhaps hadn’t really thought about such things and maybe there would be some goodwill spread. 🙂

      • Equipping The Saints

        Thank you. Can you imagine (lol) that pastors have a few, or more, difficulties in their lives? We must be real. I recently replied to a blog about the difficulties that affect the whole family, even those of pastors, when one of the members suffers from clinical depression. My wife suffers from great depression. It is very challenging and very real. It is not “all sermons and lessons” in my home. Times can be very difficult. But, I remember a certain vow that I took, “for better or for worse – til death do is part!”

  • elainemansfield

    I agree the world is abundant. I also agree in the importance of good manners. I also think many of us are pressed for time so things slip away. I didn’t write a note to people I know (not well) whose adult son died recently. I wanted to and I still will, but it has to be more than a cybernote. But in getting ready for a trip, I had to put it aside. As my life gets busier, I find I have to put aside following everyone as closely as I did or I do less in person with the bereaved, don’t spend enough time doing things that nurture me, and spend less time writing. Thanks for being a sharing person, Debby.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for your response Elaine. Yes, our busy cyber life can sometimes feel as though it does take up a big chunk of our time. But it should be all about give and take. We may not necessarily be able to respond promptly, but as long as we acknowledge at some point for those who took the time, I think this is fine. It can be quite overwhelming when we build so many connections in the cyber world and we sometimes feel as though we have to split ourselves in two worlds. 🙂

  • drew delaney

    Nicely said, and I do agree. I have read so many posts because I like the writing, but for some posters, they never reciprocate. It’s a bummer when that happens. Take, take and take. How about giving or forwarding back. Thanks for this awesome post, D.G. Kaye.

  • kerisjournal

    Debbie I loved this! We are so up the same alley. Though I know your metaphors were leading to your cyber exampes… I must say some days by the end of a shopping trip I am so bitter.I think people are just clueless. Sometimes I am standing there waiting trying to be patient and finally either say excuuuse meeee and then they will look up with a startled apologetic look that makes me feel like a jerk lol. But some people do act annoyed that someone else actually is shopping on their aisle and move over as if it is too much effort.
    same goes here.
    I know that sometimes I’ll be waiting to LIKE something and it keeps saying loading for some reason. It is usually me needing to reboot and usually on my phone. Or I am signed in under my other blog. And then I never get back there to do or say what I intended.
    But I follow some blogs and comment without the favor. I GET that some blogs have so many followers and comments that it would be a full-time job keeping up (what a great problem) but I agree it feels like they could at least do a group comment and at least make an effort to thank everyone for their comments.
    I just spent yesterday respnding to 47 comments on my own blog that got lost because I read them at work and was signed in under the wrong blog. I still couldn’t find 3 of them.I wish wordpress made it easier to find those lost comments. As it was I went through over a hundred pages! And still had almost 200 to go when I gave up finding the last few that I might have let slip through the cracks over a year ago m But I tried. 😉

    • dgkaye

      Lol Di, I know you get it! You read my message clearly. And, no worries, I know you well and the ongoing issues you have with logging in and not finding your stuff because you have mentioned it several times. 🙂 After a while, people tend to notice who their commenters are, even the ones who are even gracious enough to hit LIKE. That is the way you and I both are. But yes, sometimes we get busy and don’t get to respond right away and that is to be expected. The same way we may not have commented on a blog we usually follow because it didn’t come up in our reader until a week later. I still have issues with wordpress, many of us do. I used to get notifications by mail of blogs I follow and in the past month, they don’t come anymore. I have checked my follow list on ‘manage’ page and it still says I receive daily or weekly mail from those I follow … BUT I DON’T! I have to muddle through the reader or type in the URL of those I remember offhand, manually to read their blogs.

      As for comments. Yes, it is lovely to receive them and the more the merrier means people like what we have to say, you always have so many to answer and seeing as I am not there yet, I can only imagine how long it takes to respond and I know I always try my best to respond to every comment because I appreciate when my comments are acknowledged … The Old … ‘Do onto others.”

      Twitter is a whole other issue. But eventually we can weed out those who we follow faithfully and help spread their words, when enough time passes and we find that we have yet to be acknowledged. It’s time to move on.

      But it does happen everywhere and anywhere – and yes, supermarkets are notorious for rude people. I know I have my morals and don’t have to become nasty in retaliation and I feel if by putting it out there, people would just take a moment and think, then maybe we could spread a little more kindness. xoxo 🙂

  • Carol Balawyder

    Thanks for posting this.There are givers and takers in this world. A balance would be ideal. But that is not always the case. I think, in the end, you build your own karma and eventually the takers lose and the givers win.
    Lack of etiquette tends to be easier in the cyber-world and your post nicely addressed this issue. Like smiles, being polite just makes the world a classier place to be in. 🙂

  • kerisjournal

    That is so strange. I left a long comment here this morning. Oh well. Great post! I understand everything from the rude shoppers right down to the lazy followers/posters! 😉
    But I appreciate your awesomeness! You are definitely not a lazy friend! My friend!
    xoxo
    k

    • dgkaye

      Lol you make me laugh. Poor Di, gets so confused logging in from so many places. Yes, I did get your long beautiful comment and I responded in equal length. I hope you see it! xoxo

  • Let's CUT the Crap!

    I used to have the idea that it was young people who weren’t up on their manners, but I was wrong. It’s everyone and a lot of professionals who’d as soon mow you down because they are on their way someplace more important (that you?). Please. Standing in line to get into an event drives me crazy with the number of people who will slip into line ahead of you instead of at the back, bump you hard and not acknowledge their mistake(s). Ugh.

  • aedmonds315

    DG you made me laugh and that’s a good thing. I started thinking this woman could be from Jersey, haha..Yes it pisses me off when someone puts their cart in the middle of the isle and leaves it there, or stares into space at all the cans of tuna. Didn’t they ever have tuna before. Which Albacore in water is on sale, lets keep it moving people. Love this blog!! .

  • Holistic Wayfarer

    You happened to catch me at a (lonnnngg) moment where I’m a bit riled up. While it’s been for the most part amazing working with a range of bloggers on the Race, I discovered not everyone will be conscientious about keeping their word – when I have been busting my butt to gain them exposure on my site. Enough said. I also live by the adage of not giving w/ an expectation of return. That is actually how I have blogged, for the most part. But an agreement in a partnership is different. Adults have to know to keep their word.

    • dgkaye

      I hear you Diana. It does get frustrating when you feel you are the giver a lot and not receiving anything back sometimes. I suppose this is why I wrote this post. But as you said, we cannot expect in return and we can just hope some get the message and hopefully the karma of the universe will find its way back to us. 🙂

  • mockingbird181984

    I’m also rallying the same problem to my students these days. Everything seems to be about ‘what’s in it for me.’ I can’t get them to participate for a noble cause. And when they’ve gained things, I never get a thank you… because I’m paid to teach them anyway. It’s sad really. We can only do as much though. 🙁

    • dgkaye

      Yes Mock, it is sad. So I decided to put it out there and hope that people can take from it. If everyone lets thing slide we will never make progress. 🙂

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