Friendship and caring
Appreciation,  Blogging,  That's Life,  THOUGHTS

Keeping Tabs on Friends in the #Online World


I wanted to write a short post about the world of online friendships because many of us spend so much time here and have made connections through blogs and social media with others.

In our real world, we keep up with current events and life situations with friends and family, either in person or by phone. But in our virtual world, we chat with friends through social media, blogs or messenger apps. Because we’ve made connections with so many who live in different parts of the world, we don’t always get a chance to catch up with everyone on a daily or even a weekly basis sometimes. But one thing that I do keep mental note of is taking notice of when someone I’m used to seeing around the cybersphere suddenly disappears off the virtual radar.

I begin to wonder if that person is okay and do my usual FBI scouting around the socialsphere, hoping to find a post or a comment from them somewhere, showing that they are indeed still around but perhaps a little busy dealing with things in their real world.Through doing these searches, I have sometimes found that someone was ill, or depressed and needed a dose of inspiration, and in one instance I discovered a fellow blogger had passed away.

It really doesn’t take much to leave a missing friend a message of concern on their Facebook, or drop them a line in an email if we suspect something isn’t right.

I guess what I’m saying here is, we are community here. I’m reminding everyone if you notice you haven’t seen one of your friends or blogging pals circuiting social media or blogland, do what you would do in real life, do a little digging to make sure a pal is okay. You never know when someone disappears, not seeing their comments, posts or avatars around, if they’re just taking a break or if something more serious has happened.

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.


  • Sue Dreamwalker

    Yes I do this often and can leave my little notes around here and there when someone has not posted in a while.. And you are so right Debby we are a wonderful community here within WP and I think sometimes our conversations here with our online friends are more frequent than within our real world.. 🙂
    Thank you for being the caring soul you are..
    Love Sue <3

  • balroop2013

    Love your concern dg…you have a kind and loving heart. Thinking of blogger friends is natural as we connect with them through our words, which are so powerful and the connections we form through them slowly become as endearing as those with other friends.
    I happened to meet one of my blogger friends in NC when I visited my daughter last summer and found him extremely good. I have written a post about him and his lovely wife.

    • dgkaye

      That is wonderful you traveled and got to meet one of your blogging pals. I intend to do so next year by attending the Blogger’s Bash and meeting many of my friends there. But even while we are all only friends and acquaintances online, it’s no less real how we’d care for someone who is in our real world life. 🙂

  • Mira Prabhu

    Thanks for a great post that reveals deep compassion, Debby. Actually this happened to me recently – a friend I had grown used to commenting on my posts disappeared – and I thought he had gone on a long trip or moved house or whatever – and then he wrote to say he had been so ill he’d almost died. Well!!! Of course I wrote him a long email telling him how sorry I was that I had not known – but I wish I had done what you do and checked out the scenario. Much love, Mira

    • dgkaye

      Isn’t it so true Mira? Oh, sure though, we can’t be everywhere all the time, especially when we are blessed to have many friends in this internet world. But at least the places we frequent and are used to seeing familiar faces should flag us to unusual activity. 🙂 <3

  • Jacqui Murray

    I’m with you on that. I have at least one person right now on my radar. She used to post regularly, now nothing for over a month. Luckily, she just shared a comment on my blog so I know she’s OK, just busy.

    But I’ve been known to post a comment on an old blog asking if everything’s OK. Me too (about a blogger friend passing away). That made me very sad.

  • Terri Webster Schrandt

    This is such an important post, Debby! I have seen many blogger friends come and go over the last two years, and I have dropped them an email to check on them. Usually, life events and work take over. I always appreciate when a favorite blogger posts they are taking a break. I had been following a local blogger for sometime and knew she had cancer, didn’t hear much from her, then another blogger posted that she had passed. When I read the link, her husband posted about it. I literally just wept. I haven’t been able to post anything new for over two weeks due to my website and image issues. I posted on the “new” blog that I am on a break, but the old blog still shows. sigh. I think we bloggers need to be kind to ourselves and post when we can, and at least continue to be engaged when possible.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for sharing Terri. It seems you’re already on the right path! 🙂 And yes, I saw your comment (somewhere on the many blogs I read) about your website woes. That’s awful! You can’t even imagine how many bloggers and writers have been having website woes in this past month alone, including me. There is something in the energies of the planets going on! From WordPress to Windows, I’ve had my share of grief. I also cannot ‘like’ blogs or comment on many of them from my desktop where I work by day with my Windows 8.1 computer, thanks to Windows updates trying to stuff in their Windows 10 updates on an 8.1 operating system! Gratefully I can comment and like on my laptop which is Windows 10. I’m so tired of doing a dance with WP to seek help. I hope your move makes things better for you.May I ask what happened to your blog? You were self-hosted, why didn’t the host rectify your problems? 🙁

  • Jeri Walker (@JeriWB)

    I’ll check in too when I noticed a prolonged absence. More often than not, it’s been due to the person being overly busy and blogging takes a back burner, but it’s still good to check in. I tend to try to announce when I’ll be taking time off.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for chiming in Jeri. I think it’s a great idea for us to just leave up a post saying we need a time out, or perhaps ‘gone fishing’ lol. So I thought I’d write a post about it because sometimes people aren’t aware that when we’re used to seeing them around, and suddenly disappear, there are people who get concerned. 🙂

  • Vashti Quiroz-Vega

    Debby, you are such a sweet, caring and thoughtful person. I feel blessed to have you as a friend. Really. I think this is a brilliant idea. Usually, when someone is going to be offline for a while they’d post it on their blog to let their online friends and followers know. I just assumed that when one of them disappeared for a while it just meant life got busy in the ‘real life’ and they needed some time off but you’re right, it could be something more and I will try to dig a little further to see what’s going on. Thank you for being so wonderful. I appreciate you. <3 xx

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Vashti, for your compliments. I think many of us do notice when a usual blogger hasn’t been around, but because life can get ahead of us sometimes, we may overlook potential problems one may be having. It’s just a nice thing to do , which doesn’t take much time to drop someone a “Are you okay” note, right? <3 xo

    • dgkaye

      Wow Marian. Thanks so much for thinking so. I’m truly touched. I promise not to leave my online friends in the lurch looking for me, and if I do, please find me, lol. <3

  • Sherri

    Ahh my dear friend, what a darling photo and what a beautiful, kind and caring post…as I would expect from you. So thoughtful and generous of heart and spirit, that’s you. Thank you for this reminder, I’ve known several bloggers to disappear and some I have no idea why. It is so sad, especially when they have become friends. One in particular I tried to contact but I never heard back from her. She was so lovely. I can only hope she is alright… and I want to thank you for your amazing friendship and support. I know I can always count on you, as many can. And ditto Tina!!! Much love and hugs to you Deb! <3 <3 <3 xoxoxoxo

  • Hugh's Views and News

    A very nice reminder to us all, Debby. I recently emailed somebody who I had not seen in the blog world or on FaceBook (not that I’m a fan of FB) and heard nothing back. Then I contacted another blogger who I thought would know if all was Okay and she confirmed the blogger concerned was having a few personal issues. It was a huge relief to know that somebody else was in contact with the blogger and helped rest my mind a little, although I did offer any support via the 2nd blogger.
    I also recommend that when we are going to take a break from the blogging world that we let people know. That way they can also let other community members know, although there is nothing wrong in also writing and publishing a short post letting everyone know we’re going to be away for a while while we get that book ready for publication or deal with that other part of our life.

    • dgkaye

      Absolutely Hugh.A note is a good thing, just an update to let friends and readers know.I think some people may not realize that they are missed when they suddenly disappear off social radar. 🙂

  • Kev

    It’s really nice when people such as yourself care enough to check in on their cyber-friends, Debby. More often than not I find myself having to play catch-up, and hoping folks don’t think I’m ignoring them due to negligence. It’s so difficult keeping a balance sometimes. Anyway, lovely post, Debby. ?

  • elainemansfield

    Good reminder. I try on social media. I’m with Kev about playing catch-up all the time. My first obligations are to local friends, the ones I’ve known for 30 and 40 years. If they’re sick or grieving or have a busted car, that’s where my attention turns. I also feel drawn to responding to new social media friends who contact me because of grief. They come second and sometimes first. I wish there were more time in each day. If I didn’t hear from you on my blog, I’d want to know where you were. Probably lots of people feel that way about you. Thanks for watching out for so many.

    • dgkaye

      Aw, you’re too sweet Elaine. Right back at you! We do get used to seeing certain people in our circles whether on blogs or social media. It’s not that we have to babysit everyone, it’s just like you said, the usual suspects we’re used to seeing around town should catch our attention if a certain time passes and we realize we haven’t seen or heard anything from them. I keep threatening to take a blog break, lol, but I’m trying to save that up for the winter. And when I do, I’ll leave a big, colorful post up to let everyone know. Although, I’m sure I still won’t be able to resist sniffing around the odd social site. 🙂

  • louise237

    Connecting on line via blogs or any other social media is pretty much interesting and “rich”.. Although most of the time people never meet in “real” some links and friendship are established and this is the best part of the story…

  • louise237

    Welcome, Debby, as my new follower of my Louise Mamet Photography Facebook page, thank you so much.. Have a great day!
    (I tried to send my comment once but it never showed, so this is the second trial, sorry if you get both)… 🙂

  • olganm

    I know what you mean, Debby, and you’re right. Recently I’ve been travelling and not having much chance to see non-online friends (that are also spread all over the way, so I don’t get to see much) and it’s good to have a community. Take care!

    • dgkaye

      Excellent reminder Patrrice. And the best place to keep reminded of friend’s birthday is on Facebook. They remind us in notifications when it’s someone we know’s birthday. 🙂

  • Deborah Jay

    It’s great to have such a wide community of caring friends, isn’t it? I, too, notice when someone is absent for a while, and check in to find out why – so lovely to find so many other people do too 😀

  • Sarah Brentyn

    I’ve thought about this often. For me, it depends on the person. I vary how much effort I put into “finding” online friends. It’s a fine line and I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. So, sometimes, I inquire a few times through multiple channels but for others I might just drop a quick line or DM on twitter or something.

    • dgkaye

      Well that is still something Sarah. Of course we don’t always have the time to do a search. I just know the people I’m used to seeing around certain sites, and make note when I haven’t seen or heard much from that person in awhile. 🙂

  • Janice Wald

    I’m like you Debby. If I notice someone is missing from an online place where I’m used to seeing them, I inquire, ask others, send them an email.
    Happy holidays,

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