From the Editor:
“As someone who’s had the pleasure of reading your previous books, I felt this one was an effective bookend of the journey you began in Conflicted Hearts. I’m sure your readers will likewise appreciate the closure and relate to the dilemmas you and your siblings faced toward the end of your mother’s life. Death brings out different reactions in all of us, but the openness of your writing encourages readers to honestly explore their emotions and perhaps find peace with aspects of their own pasts. Thank you for the opportunity to work on this book!” – Talia Leduc
“It is challenging to write about emotional pain and to revisit events, times when you felt powerless. Not everyone is courageous enough to undertake such a task. D.G. Kaye bravely faces her childhood and her relationship with her mother, sharing this complex experience with us in her memoir P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy.
Kaye writes from a place of maturity and strength, bringing hope to others who need to find forgiveness to heal.”—Sally Cronin, Turning Back the Clock
P.S. I Forgive You nominated in Memoir for Reader’s Choice Award
June 16, 2019
Instead of locking up the memories and moving on with her life, this book was the author’s journey to understanding and forgiveness. Despite all she had experienced as a child, she started on the path of discovery and asking questions. The author tried to understand, make sense of an finally found a way to forgive her mother.
YOu just feel the cruelty and heaviness the author had to endure as a daughter, regularly asking why she had a mother like this and how to cope. This is a story of sadness and pain but the author also showed me how to cope, how to be resilient and how to manage cruelty and painful people, circumstances. She reminds us that you can’t change the past but you can find a way to forgive so you move about the world with a lighter heart.
I finished this book with a deep sadness for the child who endured this book and a deep appreciation for the woman who worked her way through her own healing and letting go.
A thought itself of such a mother D.G. Kaye was unfortunate to have is disturbing. Yet I can’t help but express my sadness about her mother’s plight while she, herself, was a victim of the unloving family.
The scene where the mother wanted to console her daughter at the news of her (daughter’s) upcoming heart surgery and was denied by her broke my heart.
I think the book will appeal to the broad readership – who suffered in a dysfunctional family may find inspiration in the D.G. Kaye’s story, who grew up in a loving family may appreciate it even deeper.
This powerful memoir by DG Kaye speaks of a childhood wounded by her narcissistic mother, a woman whose “empire crumbled” when family and friends and acquaintances began to see her for what she truly was and abandoned their relationships with her.
The author’s painful journey through emotional and spiritual anguish is laid out for the readers in an artful, honest, reflective manner. Too many years spent beholden to a woman unable to be generous, kind, loving, or selfless. At the center of this story is courage, a need to find self-love and forgiveness despite the hurts inflicted upon her by the one person who naturally should have been her biggest and loudest cheerleader.
Kaye’s story is well-written and poignant. She unravels the ball of pain nestled deep inside her, describing emotionally traumatic events that shaped her life and her relationships. But woven right along with this story of anguish is her search for forgiveness, understanding, and personal growth.
P. S. I Forgive You is a tremendously moving story of the author’s struggle to overcome a domineering mother so that she can pursue a life of art, healthy relationships, and self-respect. Anyone who has cowered in the dark shadows of manipulation and egotism will find inspiration among these pages.
Parenthood does not come with a user manual. Children learn parenting skills from the adults in their lives. They generally emulate what they see and experience. If their lifelong experience is a negative one, they might be inclined to perpetuate it. But this does not have to be so.
In her compelling memoir, P.S. I Forgive You, D.G. Kaye reveals the habitual neglect and abuse she and her siblings suffered at the hands of an envious, threatening, narcissistic, and deceitful mother.
It takes courage, strength, and determination to prevail over hardship, especially when it is a constant in childhood; especially when a parent perpetrates neglect and abuse. But it is not impossible to overcome adversity when one focuses their intention.
Kaye shows us how to take the energy consumed by feeling mistreated, hurt, fearful, and guilty, and instead make it work for us by directing that energy toward building self-esteem, fortitude, and positive intention. She tells us how she reacted as a child, and then shows us how, as an adult, she turned a negative into a positive. Acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness are major players in this scenario, a dynamic that tested the author’s resilience, challenged her conscience, and ultimately allowed her to triumph over the all-consuming adverse conditioning perpetrated by her demanding narcissistic mother.
I highly recommend this book to anyone whose childhood was hijacked by a neglectful and abusive parent, and who would like to learn how to break free and live a happy healthy life.
I highly recommend reading this book and look forward to reading more of D.G. Kayes work.
I come from a poor family of six children, but knowing both of my parents loved us all dearly and no amount of money or material things can mean more than that to a child. Kudos Debby, and I am sending a loving hug to young Debby too. Well done little one, well done.
Deborah Jay, July 17, 2017
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I found Kaye’s first book about her narcissistic mother a true eye-opener, an education about a condition I’d heard of, but never understood in all its desperately sad reality. I have since realised that I know someone with this condition, and it helps me to understand her often bizarre decisions and behaviour, rather than just being confused by them.
This sequel book, which also stands alone as an education of a different kind, is a raw and open story of how to deal with the guilt that comes from finally saying “I have had enough!” and sticking with that decision to the bitter end.
As a work of self-help, which is many respects it is, this book is a good guide to dealing with those relationships that just cannot be fixed, no matter how much we would like them to be, and regardless of the depth of love involved. No one should have to endure what Kaye and her family went through, but despite the heartache and hardship, this tale demonstrates how one can turn such pain around and become stronger as a result, and discover how to leave the inevitable regrets behind by recognising the realities, rather than the fantasy version of how things might have been.
Why forgive? Isn’t it extremely hard to do so? This question reverberates around me even after reading the most poignant account of D.G. Kaye who had nobody to turn to for love, care and affection.
When a child’s mother is selfish and self-centered, when she blames and threatens her own daughter, when emotional abuse almost breaks the spirit of a girl who tries her best to please her mother, forgiveness is a far cry.
Forgiveness is the most intransigent emotion, the most hurting feeling, rekindling the sensation of being victimized; highlighting the supremacy and the arrogance of our perpetrator yet Kaye emerges resilient, responsible, benevolent and at peace after she decides to let go all the grief that had eaten into the best hours of her life.
‘P.S. I Forgive You’ is the story of every child who is deprived of a loving childhood due to insensitive parenting. It could inspire a thousand mothers to be emotionally present, to be more understanding and loving and pay attention to the little concerns of their children.
My heart missed a beat when I read how Kaye is torn between guilt and duty to go and see her dying mother and decides to go to her father’s grave “to speak to my dad about current goings on in my life and update him on family matters,” she confides.
“I feel lifeless, I miss you, mama. I miss everything I didn’t have from you. Still I am sorry. I forgive you.”…That sums up the distressing memories of the author whose grief and guilt merge into each other at the death of her mother.
How many of us come from dysfunctional families? I know I certainly came from one. However, when you are the child of a narcissistic mother, those wounds fester and bleed well into adulthood becoming baggage that hangs around your heart. Almost certainly, these feelings are accompanied by guilt and a desire to understand why a mother could treat her own flesh and blood in such a demeaning way. Especially, when you would never think of treating your own children with such disdain.
This is the author’s journey to redemption. She sets out to explain the reasons why her mother treated her and her siblings in such a derogatory manner. What she discovers is her own strength and determination to come to grips with the revelations that none of this treatment was her fault. The final realizations pivot the reader to experience the liberation of a survivor, first hand, with empathy and compassion for the author and her family.
I followed D. G. Kaye’s path into a state of mindfulness, where she focuses on the present while acknowledging and accepting her feelings and thoughts from the past. At times, I cried right along with the family, feeling old emotions of my own boil to the surface. Ultimately, the story ends when understanding is achieved and the only avenue left is that of forgiveness.
This is a poignant novel filled with inspiration and strength. By the end of the story, I felt like D. G. Kaye, and I had become close friends, and she was telling me that my hunt to dispell my own childhood demons was going to be all right. If you have a narcissistic family member, this is the book for you. Believe me, you will never feel alone again.
Character Believability: 5
Flow and Pace: 5
Reader Engagement: 5
Reader Enrichment: 5
Reader Enjoyment: 5
Overall Rate: 5 out of 5 stars
P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy
My Review: By Judith Barrow
When I reviewed D. G Kaye’s Conflicted Hearts (http://amzn.to/2iqL3Wc) I wrote “I laughed and cried with D.G.Kaye and finally,applauded her. A wonderful book from a woman of great strength.” On reading P.S I Forgive You I can only reiterate those words yet also add that the author reveals a great wisdom in the acceptance and forgiveness for what she endured in the past (none of which she could control). Her words show an inner peace that many of us, who have been in the same circumstances, may never reach.
There is such honesty in D. G Kaye’s writing. P.S I Forgive You is threaded through with sorrow. But it’s not a self-serving or selfish sadness, it’s a lament for a parent who never had any self awareness, who never grew away from that belief we all have as a child; that the world revolves around us. Over riding all that this is an account that reveals understanding and compassion for the author’s mother.
This is an empowering book; a must read for anyone trying to make peace with their past in an effort to making the most of the future.
5 Stars – A Heart Wrenching Decision to Forgive
P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy is a journal of a rollercoaster of emotions displayed by this author as she deals with a narcissistic mother. This is journey through life to survive without love and care from a mother who was incapable of loving anyone but herself.
The author opens her heart to the reader as her emotions pour out. She does all she can to make amends but to no avail and is forced to forgive her unfeeling mother and repair the damage done to her and her siblings.
This book is a catharsis to anyone who has had to live with this kind of parent. It helps them deal with the myriad emotions that continue to bubble up inside and threaten to suffocate oneself.
My heart goes out to this child and her siblings who somehow managed to be strong and resilient even though they were never taught the essentials of parenting and the love that is needed to bring up a child. The author has shown remarkable strength and courage to face head-on the torments that continually threaten her very soul. I recommend this book to anyone who has yet to feel closure from an unhealthy relationship.
5 Stars – A Great Companion for Conflicted Hearts
This book makes an excellent companion to D.G’s Conflicted Hearts. As a memoir writer I completely understand the emotional turmoil of reliving a very dark past without even getting into some of the physical consequences as one deals with the psychological traumas. Yet, it’s all worth the effort when the writer feels healing for deep wounds. Scars we can deal with, but wounds tend to fester.
The continuing healing process one experiences after reliving the past is what P.S. I Forgive You is all about. One has built the courage to let the truth be known, but now one has face up to those with whom the truth bares.
5 Stars – How to Survive Life (and death) with a Narcissistic Parent
Originally a sequel to Conflicted Hearts: A Daughter’s Quest for Solace from Emotional Guilt, PS I Forgive You (Amazon Digital Services 2016) became a stand-alone final chapter to D.G. Kaye’s emotional story about surviving a narcissistic mother. You can feel Kaye’s strength as she’s forced to break off communication with her mother as a last-ditch effort to protect her own mental health–even as her mother is dying. If you come from a loving supportive family (like I do), it’s very difficult to understand the damage caused by this sort of emotional abuse, but through Kaye’s eyes, I felt it. Suffered it. At one point, Kaye mentioned a concern that her mother might read what admittedly was a less than flattering book about her, but I already knew enough about her mother to know that she would never either read her daughter’s published words or listen to them.
That is how powerful this story is: I feel like I knew both Kaye and her mother well by the time I turned the last page. Highly recommended by anyone with a narcissistic family member. This will help you.
I am a fan of biographies and autobiographies, and I must say I really enjoyed D.G Kaye’s P.S I Forgive You.
D.G Kaye and her siblings had the misfortune to be raised by a narcissistic and emotionally neglectful mother, who’d had exactly the same upbringing herself and so possibly considered her behaviour to be normal, knowing no other kind. This type of upbringing leaves mental scars on the recipients, which Ms Kaye suffered from for years until she was old enough to learn some insight into her mother’s behaviour.
I have a cousin, who is one of 4 children who were all unwanted ‘accidents’. My aunt not only suffered from post-natal depression, but she was also emotionally neglectful, just like the author’s mother. One child grew up exactly like her mother, one was cowed and never left home, and the other two went as far away from their mother as they could. Therefore I understand completely why Ms Kaye distanced herself in her mother’s later years, as it was the only way she could achieve peace of mind.
We grow in wisdom as we age, and with this insight comes forgiveness. Ms Kaye can obviously never forget her troubled childhood, but I applaud her for finding the inner peace which my cousins were never able to do. An inspirational memoir, which was shorter than I’d hoped, but still a five star read!
5 Stars – Christoph Fischer
I’m a declared fan of DG Kaye and expected nothing less as the moving, touching and inspiring memoir she has delivered here. Plagued by a narcistic mother and the effect of this on her own life, DG Kaye tells with honesty and great psychological insight into the situation about her ordeals, then and more recent, brought on by the troubled relationship.
This is heart breaking and heart-mending at the same time.
This is an important book that should be read by many who are struggling to forgive and move on. It’s not an easy task but one very well worth your while.
The book itself is a compelling read, the short chapters drawing you in and speaking to your heart. Wonderful, written woith great wisdom and insight – and, most importantly of all, forgiveness.
A must read for anyone looking to make peace with their past and move forward.
By Amazon Customer on Oct. 19 2016
5 Stars CarolBalawyder.com
Like all of D.G. Kaye’s books, I was eager to read her latest – a follow up to Conflicted Heart. P.S. I Forgive You – A Broken Legacy is Kaye’s most heart wrenching and intense book to date. Not surprising, considering the subject of this memoir. It is D.G. Kaye’s and her siblings’ attempt of freeing themselves from the clutches of emotional neglect.
P.S. I Forgive You – A Broken Legacy is a testimony to the painful effects of her mother’s gambling addiction on her and her siblings. Anyone who has lived with an addict knows how destructive it can be, how much it creates guilt, resentment and a feeling of low self esteem.
P.S. I Forgive You is heartbreaking to read but D.G. Kaye’s strength and ability to offer an honest examination of her experience is an inspiration to anyone who has found themselves with the difficult decision of turning away from a toxic relationship. Most importantly, in Kaye’s difficult journey to self love and acceptance she offers hope in her struggle to love a mother who was not able to provide the same for her children.
A tender, well written book.
5 StarsThe power of forgiveness
on September 30, 2016
Format: Kindle Edition
I purchased this book expecting a sequel to D. G Kaye’s Conflicted Hearts which I loved but P.S I Forgive You is a different book. You get the sense that this book is written by an author who has grown, both in her writing and the feelings she has shared with her readers.
When I finished reading P.S I Love you, I knew that I had enjoyed the book immensely but at the same time I felt bereft; very similar to what I had experienced when I had lost my own parents. Just a sad feeling. At first the feeling confused me and then I realized that Kaye’s writing was so genuine, so acute and so heartfelt that she had made me feel the confusion, the grief, the process and most importantly the peace, right a long with her! She writes straight up, with no pretensions and it is intensely personal so you want to stay with her until the very end.
Her childhood was was one that nobody would choose but at the same time there is no self pity in her words. Her story weaves you through the process of grieving for a mother that never allowed her to be a child and the absolute importance of forgiveness, both for her and her mother.
P.S I Forgive You is a daughter’s trials, tribulations, family coming together and the grief of forever partings but most of all it is about being ok with yourself and the power of peace that comes with the long road to forgiveness. I loved it!