Reblogging is flattery
Appreciation,  Blogshare,  D.G. Kaye,  Empathy,  Great information,  Memoir writing,  Narcissists,  Parenting,  Relationships,  Self Esteem,  THOUGHTS

I’ve Been Quoted! -The Impact of Narcissistic Parents | MakeItUltra™

Reblogging is flattery

 

How many times as writers do we read famous quotes by writers and empowering people from various fields? Many I should think. But do we as writers ever think about our own words being quoted by others? I know I never thought about that because usually famous quotes are from famous people.

 

Well I can tell you I’m far from famous, but last week it was brought to my attention by one of my lovely friends, Jane Sturgeon that she had read an article on children raised by a narcissistic parent and the first line in the article was a quote from my book – Conflicted Hearts. I was both shocked and over the moon with pride when I went over to psychotherapist – Dr. Perry’s blog and saw it with my own eyes. In fact, much of what he covered in the article I lived through with my narcissistic mother and described in my book. It makes me wonder if he read my book?

 

The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

By Dr. Perry, PhD


“Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try and do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.” ~D.G. Kaye

It is an understatement to state that parenting is difficult. It is perhaps the only job a person can get that is full-time and for life without having all the requisite skills and qualifications. The responsibility is great. One must equip a child with all the necessary tools they will need in adulthood to forge their own lives. It is a self-less relationship that most parents take great pride in. From the moment their child is born, the child becomes the focal point of the family unit. While this is a non-issue to most couples, what happens when one of the parents lacks empathy and is unable to see the importance in anyone else’s feelings or interests?

Perhaps you were raised by a self-proclaimed or widely admired super parent. Admired by all of the community, to the outside world, your parent had it all. On paper, everyone saw a doting parent, a successful career, marriage and with positive community involvement in church or school activities. But, reflecting on our childhood we realize that behind closed doors the reality was a lot harsher and lonelier than the public image portrayed. As we get older and start to form a life of our own we begin to see our parents more as real humans and not the superheroes of our childhood. This is quite normal and healthy. Stripped of the cape of perfection that kept us in an unequal relationship, we can then begin to form a healthy adult relationship with our parents.

But what happens if once the heroic cape is removed, we notice that our parental figure has nothing to offer us. They are basically an egocentric person who is essentially empty, fearful and manipulative. We take notice that they purposely use control and manipulation to keep us engaged in an unhealthy relationship. Our parents should want us to leave the nest and soar and not to live in their shadows. But, the NPD parent does not want his child to live an independent life. They see their children as an extension of themselves to use as they wish.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a spectrum disorder which means it exists on a continuum. . . continue reading.

 

Source: The Impact of Narcissistic Parents | MakeItUltra™

Follow Me on Social Media!
Name: D.G. Kaye job Title: author Business: DGKayewriter.com Image: https://dgkayewriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/reblogging.jpg Facebook Url: Facebook Twitter Url: Twitter Instagram Url: Instagram LinkedIn Url: LinkedIn Pinterest Url: Pinterest Google+ Url: Google+

D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

48 Comments

  • Stevie Turner

    I remember my mother crying “How could you do this to me?” when I first left home. However, I gently reminded her that she had once left home herself and now it was my turn. Happily it transpired that we got on much better once we lived apart.

    • dgkaye

      That happens a lot. I’m glad you got along so well while living apart. I got along with my mother by being separated with no contact. At least you maintained a good relationship with your mother. 🙂

  • Annika Perry

    Debby, Wow!! Congratulations … that must feel amazing and a bit odd! You have arrived!! I wouldn’t at all be surprised if he’s read you book … look out for further quotes from it. Obligation is a tough master … to follow and to step back from.

    • dgkaye

      True words Annika. And thank you so much. I was wondering the same, has he read my book? Wow right? Well, I’m following his blog now so if anything else sneaks up I’ll be notified. 🙂 x

    • dgkaye

      Thank you again my lovely friend for alerting me to this and for your always inspiring comments. Big, huge, unicorn hugs! <3 xoxo

  • hilarymb

    Hi Debby – how very interesting to read – and amazing Jane picked up the quote. One does wonder … but now you’ll be reading his blog, you can keep an eye open.

    The realisation our parents are our parents and have given life to us … then we all have different roles ahead of us. Your quote is so apposite … no wonder he appears to have used it. Congratulations – cheers Hilary

  • Vashti Q

    He probably did read your book, Debby! Congratulations! A professional doctor quoted you! That definitely validates your book in the subject of Narcissism and you as the author (Not that you needed the validation). That’s so cool! I’m happy for you, my friend! 😀 <3 xx

  • Sarah Brentyn

    This is so cool, Debby! I saw this at…hmm…Colleen’s blog, maybe? I’ve hopped over to see the article and, just wow. There you are. Congratulations, my friend.

    (I hope this comment appears…)

    • dgkaye

      Thanks so much Sarah! Yes, comment received! And yes, Colleen is a great friend and a Sister of the Fey, she shared the news before I even did, lol. Talk about great friends! This was certainly a huge surprise and so validating! We never know who reads our words! 🙂 <3

  • Anne R. Allen

    Major congrats, Debby! I was raised by narcissistic parents too. I was conditioned to be an audience and dole out narcissistic supply. It took me over 50 years to figure out why I drew so many narcissists into my life. Amazing how freeing it was to finally see it.

    • dgkaye

      Hi Anne! Thanks so much for dropping by and sharing a bit of your own experience. Ironically, it took me the same fifty years! But at least we both climbed the hurdle. So freeing! 🙂

  • Tina Frisco

    What a thrill, Deb. So much of your work merits quoting. I’d love to see your name and quotes plastered all over the Internet! Kudos, girlfriend ❤️

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Deb! Actually, I did comment on his post a week ago and it hasn’t been posted. I noticed the last comments posted were a month ago. Not sure he even acknowledges comments. 🙁

    • dgkaye

      Lol Diana, you sure know how to make someone’s day! Thank you my friend. Far from famous, but knowing my words are flowing through the universe is so gratifying. <3

    • dgkaye

      Thank you Robbie. And I noticed you left a comment on Dr. Perry’s blog. I’ve left 2 there now and have yet to be posted or replied to, that’s when I saw yours there. Strange. 🙂

  • Sue Dreamwalker

    I am so thrilled Debby and I am sure he read your book.. It is wonderful that your words were used to begin his assessment of the Impact of narcissistic parents this way.
    And I was nodding my head along with what is both of your dissection on the subject..
    Congratulations Debby.. I am really so Happy for you.. <3

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Sue. I am elated, and wondering if he did read the book. His list was very similar to my experiences. 🙂 <3 Just thrilled to be mentioned. <3 xoxo

      • Sue Dreamwalker

        Just saw your reply comment on my blog visit Debby, seems since all the alterations on WP I no longer get your replies in my notifications, So do not think i am ignoring you.. Its happening on many other blogs I leave comments on too.. Sigh.. And I bet you were thrilled.. who wouldn’t be.. Just lovely to see your work forever expanding.. 🙂
        Love and Hugs and have a lovely day xx

        • dgkaye

          Thank you for your support and praise Sue. I was thrilled beyond words to find my quote attached to such a succinct article. And no worries Sue, thanks for the heads up, I know WP has been having many glitches since this new GDPR mess came into effect. I know you always find me eventually. <3 <3 xxxx

  • Ellie Marrandette

    Wonderful news DG!!! A Pulitzer won’t be far behind now! You’ve always been an inspiration to others and what a compliment to be recognized publicly for your writing. Blessings back, <3

  • Norah Colvin

    How wonderfully deserving, Debby. Why shouldn’t you be quoted? You are the expert. You lived it after all. Did you get the impression he’d read your book? I assume he would have. Nice to be quoted either way.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for the kudos Norah. I thought perhaps he may have at least read part of it, but most comments think he may have. I left a comment on his post, thanking him, but no reply. 🙂

  • Liesbet @ Roaming About

    That’s incredibly, Debby! Having someone quote you!!! That must be right up there with, or actually even better than, receiving five star reviews. What an honor. I”m glad one of your friends picked it up, so you would be aware of it. Congratulations. And, I’m sure he read your book. How else would he have found the quote? 🙂

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Liesbet for the kudos. I’m not sure if he read my book, but then again I’d love to know how he came across it. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: