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D.G. Kaye,  Grocery Shopping,  Humanity,  Just sayin',  Kindness,  My Two Cents,  Rant,  Strange Happenings,  That's Life

Rant – Twenty Minutes – The ‘Un’ -Kindness of Strangers

I went out for a measly twenty minutes. This is what ensued.

 

Hub and I were just about ready to venture out north to our old neighborhood pharmacy where our prescriptions still remain because of the most helpful pharmacy girls and pharmacist whose advice is invaluable. Anyhoo, I digress. When I was finally ready, hubby wasn’t having a good day physically, so I told him I’ll go north and pick up his pills and do whatever else was on the list. He insisted we’ll go together tomorrow. But in the meantime, I was dressed and masked and ready to go so I thought I’d take the opportunity to run out myself to the fancy supermarket a few blocks away, to pick up some nice steaks I’d noticed on sale when we were there only three days prior, but walked by them because we don’t typically eat a lot of meat. But we were having company on the weekend. And it was a special occasion since our good friends were coming for dinner – the friends we usually always got together with once a month pre-Covid, and now haven’t seen for 8 months.

So, I crossed that stopover off my list of stops for the next day and drove to the fancy supermarket. I didn’t take a shopping cart on the way in, because of course, I only went in for one thing – the steaks. The rest of my grocery shopping would be done the next day at the big grocery chain store.

I headed straight for the meat department and was grateful to find the lovely steaks still on sale. Then I remembered hubby asked for some nectarines, which were located at the complete opposite end to the meat department. This of course meant I was to pass many other aisles on my way to the nectarines. Did I mention I had no cart?

I doubled back when I realized I’d passed, first, a beautiful shrimp ring also on sale and a package of turkey bacon. I picked up one of each and piled them onto the four-pack of steaks.

As I was scrolling over a mental list in my head thinking about my menu for my gathering, I was nearing the butternut squash, just the soup I had in mind to make for an appetizer. So I picked up two boxes of already peeled and cut cubes (yes, I cheat, I hate dealing with whole butternut squash) and placed them on top of the shrimp ring. And while I was at it, right in front of me were some beautiful vine tomatoes. I managed to be able to pick up a cluster of four.

Last, and certainly not least, I made it to the nectarines. By this time, my two forearms were balancing my Jenga pile of food. My right hand cupped, shielding the pile from falling, which left my left hand free to grab a plastic bag, then transfer it to my right hand to hold while I leaned over to pick out some nectarines and placed them in the bag.

I put in however many my two fingers grasping the bag could hold and just as my mission was complete, I turned to leave and my purse hanging over my shoulder, knocked over one lone nectarine onto the floor. I stood there looking at it on the ground for a moment, all the while calculating how I could pick it up and restack my tower of food again. A woman standing barely three feet away from me had been watching me, as though she was waiting for something to fall. I stood there and sighed after the fallen nectarine, locked eyes with the woman looking at me as though I was mentally signaling her to offer a hand, but she made zero effort to offer to pick it up. I glanced again at the fruit on the floor then once more at the woman, shook my head at her and walked away.

The woman called to me as though she was the store warden, “Aren’t you going to pick that up?” .

I turned to her, now two aisles past her and shouted, “I can’t believe you’re such an uncourteous bitch!”

I was stunned. I’m the kind of gal who puts myself in other’s shoes. I could not have stood and watched a woman with her arms overflowing holding a stack of groceries, right beside me dropping a fruit and me not automatically reaching down to grab it for someone as a human kindness. You know, kind of like someone holding a door open for the person immediately behind them?

After checkout, I spotted the lottery booth had no lineup and thought it was a good opportunity to buy a ticket for the big pot. I approached the plexi-glassed desk and stood for about a minute to see how long it would take for the girl to lift her head from her cell phone and acknowledge the presence of a customer. But she didn’t. So I left.

I was pulling out of the small plaza up the last row of a dozen, closest to the exit. I braked to check for cars coming in and out before making my right turn onto the exit, then was about to proceed with my turn when a car booted up the drive , didn’t stop or care that I’d not yet completed my turn yet, but she proceeded to attempt to complete her turn into my lane with nowhere for her to fit her car and blocking me from being able to complete my turn because clearly, there was nowhere for her to go until I turned. That was it for me.

I opened my window and screamed out to the woman and let her know how #$#$@#@ ignorant she was, and told her to back up and let me get out before she could turn in. I also added there were a dozen other rows she could have turned into but had to try and fit in the lane by cutting someone off. I’m tired of these lawless people on the roads and parking lots any and everytime I go somewhere in the car. There are scary drivers on our roads, and I don’t know how many of them ever got their license.

I was going to run a return parcel over to the post office but I’d had enough for one day. One half hour.

I reminded myself just how comfortable I am living in my bubble at home. Maybe too much.

How was your day?

 

©DGKaye2020

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D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

63 Comments

  • Toni Pike

    Poor Debby, What a dreadful time and you have every right to be upset. You know that you are such a lovely person, and should not be affected by a random horrible individual making terrible remarks in the supermarket. All that matters is what you think of yourself, so don’t react at all to them. Tell yourself that you have every right to be upset, then release that and remind yourself of just how wonderful you are.
    As for lawless and dangerous drivers, they are everywhere. Shocking. Toni x

    • dgkaye

      Thanks so much for the well guided advice Toni. I have learned to expel and let go. My pet peeve is rudeness. I am always cheery and helpful to others, and when someone is outright rude, it just sends something through me where I cannot be quiet. I often feel it’s my job to point out their rudeness, hoping they may learn from it, even though I know this isn’t always the case. I’m a passionate person about everything – the good stuff fills me with love, the wrong-doers just make me crazy! <3 xx

  • Hilary Melton-Butcher

    Hi Debby – not as bad as yours … but I do know the feeling for thinking ‘I only need one thing’ … in and out – but always something tempts … forget the selfish, thoughtless people …

    Enjoy the dinner with your friends … and I hope hubby feels easier today … take care … relax and recharge – people … all the best – Hilary

    • dgkaye

      Thank you so much Hilary, you are lovely. I think I’ve learned to never walk into a grocery store without at least taking a little basket, lol. Happy weekend my friend! Hugs xox

  • Jaye Marie

    Very similar, unfortunately. And due to be repeated today at eleven! All I want is a repeat prescription from our doctor for Anita’s medication, one that has all the right things on it. You wouldn’t think that would be difficult would you?

    • dgkaye

      Lol Jaye, don’t even get me started with the kerfuffle with the prescriptions when we finally picked up. Almost feels like a full moon, but it’s only a new moon! Oye! 🙂 xx

  • Joy Lennick

    Hi Debs, Oh dear… well, sadly, – apart from a bunch of selfless ‘broads’ I know – there are a lot of ignoramuses ‘out there,’ more’s the pity. Out driving, we come across some every day and ‘im indoors and I exchange puzzled glances. We all have brains, but how many actually use them to even semi-capacity?! Add a selfish trait, and bingo! Here’s wishing a very happy day to all the many ‘ goodies’ out there. Hugs xx

    • dgkaye

      Hi Joy, perfect summation, lol. Funny, I say that to my husband whenever we’re out which isn’t ever more than twice a week if that these Corona times. What we witness on the roads anytime we’re out, it’s something. I always say, imagine if we had to fight the road jungles every day! Hugs <3 xx

  • sally cronin

    I have noticed that the camp seems to be divided after the last 8 months of isolation which has led in some cases to less sociable behaviour and in others more kindness. In the beginning you could tell the difference just by watching people sweeping tins of beans and toilet rolls into their trollies at times emptying the display until they brought in the three item rule. I will be sticking to my new found habit of shopping at 8.00 in the morning before the rest of the world is about…I am happy to take my bubble with me when out… I hope next time you meet those who have become kinder and more considerate as it seems you have had more than your share of the others…hugs ♥

    • dgkaye

      Sal, you are so right about people’s behaviors. I’ve noticed that many people have forgotten about social graces since the virus too. Either people go out of their way to be a little kinder or they become isolated behind their masks thinking you can’t even acknowledge a hello to someone else. We also had the 3 item rule here too. Hoarding has seemed to settle for now, but who knows what will ensue when the 2nd waves hit us all. Love you girl! <3 xox

  • Jane Sturgeon

    Wrapping you in huge love and many hugs, my unicorn buddy. You are not alone in reaching the point of a ‘f**k all the way off’ moment or two. Others’ choices can be staggering sometimes. All of us have gone into a store for just one thing and ended up juggling…. <3 I remember that wonderful scene in 'Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe' when Kathy Bates rammed a car when someone cut her up. Her line, along the lines of 'Older, cheaper car insurance' was priceless. Her husband's puzzled expression reading the insurance report on how many times she'd done it, was classic. Thank goodness, we can vent in our safe space here. Wishing you all a wonderful dinner at the weekend, as it sounds yummy. I'm on my way. I love you. <3 <3 <3

    • dgkaye

      Jane, you’re are a welcome breath of fresh air, lol. I don’t know why I’m always stunned when I come across rude people – 3 in a row was enough for me. And yessssssssss, Fried Green Tomatoes! There’s a movie I would love to see again! Thank you my lovely for always bringing the smiles. I love you right back my unicorn buddy. <3 xox

  • Carol

    Oh, dear…not a good shopping trip…mine was worse than that as you know I love to walk…The pavements here are really bad and if you are really unlucky you are blocked by an inconsiderate seller as well who spreads themselves and their wares over the pavement and you then have to walk on the road..This time I stacked it..fell over when my flip flop caught on a raised slab…looking up I saw a bemused workman..did he help me up..did he f***…the bruised limbs are on the mend…Hugs x

    • dgkaye

      Holy crap Carol! Omg, do I everrrrrrrrr know about flip flops tripping on raised slabs, all over Mexico. I’ve fallen twice, and hubby once. I hope you are mending because as we age, I notice our healing takes longer LOL <3 xx

  • Janice Spina

    Oh boy, that is when it is time to call it quits and go home! Home is a safe haven more than ever nowadays, Debby, that’s for sure. I hate going out to stores and only go to the grocery store with my husband once every two weeks. It hasn’t been too bad though. Each time we’ve gone there haven’t been too many people to avoid and we get what we need and leave as quickly as possible. I miss the good ole days! I order online for everything else. So much easier and less hassle. So sorry you had such a bad day! Take care, stay safe and well. God bless. Hope your husband is feeling better. 💕

    • dgkaye

      Hi Janice. It seems we’re all living similar covert lives, lol. Yes, going out can be intimidating these days, and we do the same – as least as possible. 🙂 Still, Covid or not, I don’t tolerate ignorance very well, lol. Thank you for visiting and leaving your good wishes. Happy weekend my friend and stay safe! <3

  • Amy M Reade

    This sounds like an outing my daughter had yesterday, where someone veered into her lane, knocked into the mirror on her car, then proceeded to scream at my daughter for being in the way. My daughter happened to have a dashcam that caught the whole thing, so when she mentioned that, the woman threatened to kill her and drove off. Honestly, it makes me sick how people can be so uncaring and so selfish out there.

    I’m sorry you had such a miserable experience when you went out. Where have people’s manners and common decency gone?? Sometimes I feel like the political climate in my country is affecting every nation in the world and that we’re all becoming savages without a care for our brothers and sisters in humanity.

    Thanks for the reminder to be kind to everyone.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks for adding to the conversation Amy. Wow, I feel bad for your daughter, as she ran into someone who used the ‘old projection’ trick on her. So glad she had a dashcam. Now those are a good investment, even though it’s a privacy invader, lol. And I think you hit the nail on the head. I always say Canada gets the trickle down effect from the US. And yes, I have noticed how American politics has seeped its way a bit here. If people watch fake news they will get brainwashed – anywhere! Stay safe and don’t forget to vote! <3

  • Marian Beaman

    I spent the first half of the story waiting for the tower of food to cascade to the floor, but there was other drama. Debby, you know all about creating suspense with foreshadowing. Whoa!

    And you do know, when you win the lottery, you can put an end to such juggling.
    How was my day? In a word, tame, compared to yours. Hope you feel better now. ((( )))

  • Diana Peach

    I would have helped you, Debby. The “you’re on your own” attitude isn’t limited to you neck of the woods. I’m sorry that you had such a bad day. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

  • John Maberry

    Mea culpa for the belated comment. Crazy days here as usual currently. Great (odd word for the post) rant! Had a few like this myself over the years. Fewer of them now living in a small town.

    Off the topic from your hassles, mostly–have had maybe three or at most four instances of tailgating over the nine years we have lived here. A regular occurrence in the DC Metro area. Parking lot and store hassles too. So I can empathize.
    Doubtful you would want to leave a city with all the pluses you have–I know it’s a great place. Just ONE of those days. Ask me about how we got past those days back East.

    Hope the dinner went well. 🙂 That probably would make things much better!

  • Jim Borden

    what is wrong with people. and yes, sometimes we just reach our boiling pointt and have to let out the steam.

    It’s such situations where your strong command of the English language comes in quite handy 🙂

    • dgkaye

      I’m afraid you are so right Stevie! I was actually stunned at someone who could stand and watch and do nothing to help, but add fuel by calling back to me. She was messing with the wrong person. I’m not afraid to voice my opinion out loud when I feel or see an injustice. This one just happened to involve me, lol. 🙂 xx

  • Balroop Singh

    I can’t believe people could be that rude at public places though I have met many such persons at places of work. Such people remind us about erosion of values these days. So sorry you ran into one of them.

    • dgkaye

      I was just as stunned Balroop. It seems too many of ‘those kind of people’ can be found anywhere these days. Human kindness is a rare sight these days out in the pack! 🙂 x

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Norah. So true, I’ve often felt that way – the way the day starts tends to lead the way to more of the same if we allow ourselves to dwell on things. For me, I knew the direction my day was going and decided to come straight home, lol 🙂 x

  • Robbie Cheadle

    On the whole, Debby, the driving in South Africa is pretty awful, but every now and then, someone unexpected is so considerate and nice that I suddenly feel quite uplifted. I guess I always expect the worst so am pleased when someone makes an effort to be nice and considerate. I understand your annoyance, especially about the groceries. Quite weird behaviour in my opinion.

    • dgkaye

      Thanks Robbie. Definitely rude! And I had to chuckle at your idea to remain pessimistic on the roads with the odd delight of someone’s kind action. It’s a rarity here for sure! 🙂 x

  • Liesbet

    My day? Well, any day that I venture out, really – and yesterday belongs in that category – is exactly like yours. I’m so glad you’re blogging in rants once in a while, so I don’t have to do it. I just nod my head and feel what you’re going through!

    By the way, I would have picked up that piece of fruit. And, I can’t believe that woman yelled “Aren’t you going to pick that up?” Seriously, how rude is that?

    I might have mentioned this before, but Mark has made the observation of how people are aggressive and always in a rush when driving, but once they enter a grocery store, they stroll, chat with acquaintances, block the aisles, linger over products, and have no hurry – and no worry – in the world. It’s an interesting juxtaposition!

    • dgkaye

      Hi Liesbet, omg, is that ever true. Wreckless cart drivers in grocery stores with the same lack of courtesy, leaving their carts in the middle of narrow aisles as they glance the stock. They should start fining ignorant cart drivers too lol! <3

  • Ellie Marrandette

    I’ve often said “Kindness is the nicest quality anyone can obtain” – and once, after an encounter with someone similar to yours, sighed and told her that too – but added sweetly and sincerely, “and you would do well to search for it.”

    I usually only lose patience over two things: injustice to others and people with no “CC” – common cense” 🙂 ( Now I’m a writer so I know how to spell, but you must admit, it’s a cute joke.) It’s always the kindest people who get incensed over the unkindness of mankind. But this is Satan’s world, God’s awaits for us. We’ll talk then, <3

    • dgkaye

      Hi Ellie. Thanks for dropping by. You know I’m in agreement with you, especially when you said “It’s always the kindest people who get incensed over the unkindness of mankind.” Also, yes, this is truly Satan’s world right now! 🙁 Hugs to you <3 xx

  • Deborah Jay

    Sadly there’s no accounting for how rude and ungenerous some people are, I just find them incomprehensible.
    Poor you, that’s a lot to cram into a half hour, I must admit I did smile at the way you shop – I never come out only with the one thing I went in for 😀

    • dgkaye

      LOLLLLLLLLLL thanks Deb. Ya, thinking I can fool myself and stick to what I actually came in for, obviously doesn’t work well for me. Next time it’s a basket, lol. But my peeves are rudeness and no compassion, so when somebody dishes that out, ya, they are going to hear loud and clear from me. (That’s the part where if hub is with me, he dashes out of the store because he doesn’t like a scene. LOL 🙂 xx

  • Kate Johnston

    Oh boy, Debby, that sounds like one hell of a day. I’m so sorry. I lose my patience easily with thoughtlessness. I always get irritated at people who don’t bother to return their shopping carts to the corral in the parking lot, instead leaving them strayed in a parking space. I don’t get it. Does it really take *that* much more energy to push it into the corral so they don’t create a driving hazard for someone else? I guess so. Some people are much too concerned with their own precious time.

    I like my bubble at my house too. 🙂

    • dgkaye

      Right on Kate! I have a high intolerance for ignorance and rudeness. Simple to think about others – would you like to find an errant cart smashed into your car, then don’t leave it for someone else to happen to. Yay for our bubbles! 🙂

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