friends and politics
Appreciation,  That's Life,  THOUGHTS

Thoughts on Opinion – #Friendships and #Politics

friends-n-politics

 

In this time of the world with US politics, it’s become apparent to me on certain social media sites, Facebook in particular, that some people are becoming angry with others for voicing their political opinions. Many I’ve seen have even ‘unfriended’ others. Is this what the new norm is becoming, politics coming between friends? Because if it is, it isn’t right.

Yes there are plenty of the population upset, petrified and in disagreement with the state of the US election, but we are all entitled to our opinions without being judged whether our friendships are still worthy with one another. Is this cause to become undivided at a time when the world is begging for unification? No! This is a time where people need to work out their differences and start spreading some love and compassion around, and learn acceptance, not be bashing others for their opinions.

I had managed to keep my political opinions to myself this past year for these exact reasons, fears that those who disagreed with me might get angry and wish to sever ties. But when the outcome of the election was announced, I was shocked and appalled as were many, and felt compelled to voice my opinion, my opinion, which doesn’t make it the gospel. There are many elements to the whys and how we vote. Even if the person we’ve voted for seems unfit or unjust to hold such a position of authority, that shouldn’t give us the right to start bashing people for their difference of opinion. But it’s happening a lot.

People are seen arguing why they are right, and consequently, ‘unfriending’ those who aren’t in their camp. Angry words are flying in the cyber world against those whose views aren’t aligned with other’s. This is wrong! This has all the makings of where hatred breeds and we don’t need to add fuel to this type of disease.

At this time in the world, we have to garner compassion for the decisions we’re faced to live with and try to make something positive from the negative feelings and rhetoric we’re surrounded with to avoid festering into bigger issues. If a friend disagrees with our opinion, it’s okay for them to voice why they’re on their different side of thought.

I’ve read hundreds posts in the last 2 nights and seen how people are reacting to feedback. Some are diplomatic, and others trying to hammer their point to others, hoping to sway them over to their point of view, leaving angry comments to those who won’t agree with their opinion.

When I decided I needed to voice my own opinion, I posted with my reasoning of why I was upset over the vote, and consequently, I had only one long-time American friend disagreeing with my post, defending his vote for Trump to me. We didn’t fight and argue. Yes, we bantered a bit in a civil manner, trying to substantiate our point of views to one another, but we left it at that, his opinion, my opinion, we voiced them, and end of conversation, not friendship.

Here’s a copy of exactly how that conversation went down in response to my post. (name deleted for privacy)

 

He said: “And now your going to have a bunch moving to canada….. sorry cubby” (my nickname)

Me: ” No doubt, and nothing new. Immigrants are treated very well in this country.” 🙂

He said:  “you can have Sharpton”

 Me: You should keep him. 🙂

Last year when I was in Arizona, before I learned more about Trump and began to follow the election with a scrutinizing eye, I thought perhaps Trump may have been a fresh face to the world, not connected to politics, and could possibly be a help to the people, before he started spewing his rhetoric and misbehavior. I had mentioned to a friend at the time, I liked him. But my opinion changed drastically as time went on. The other day that friend messaged me and asked me how come I changed my opinion. My response: “I’ve seen and learned too much since then.” That was it. Short and sweet was my reply to my friend, and we continued to chat about other things as we always had. I didn’t elaborate. She didn’t question me further. We moved on. We are friends and both of us didn’t want to get lost in our opinions and soil a friendship over them.

I’m not going to abandon my friends because of their opinions, as I hope they wouldn’t do to me either. It’s a time for us all to grow up and learn to respect one another, and remember to value the reasons we have those friendships. Friendship isn’t licence to force people to have all the same beliefs we do, but it does entail learning to respect that others are entitled to their opinions. Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree and move on.

Politics are always going to happen. The world changes, good politicians and bad ones come and go, but friendship can’t be bought or sold. Like a marriage, we have to weather the storms that threaten to divide, to keep the peace and unity in a relationship.

Follow Me on Social Media!

D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, who writes from her own life experiences and self-medicates with a daily dose of humor.

37 Comments

  • Tina Frisco

    Fabulous, Deb. You nailed it. Unity in diversity. Acceptance of differing opinions while keeping our hearts open. I had a similar interaction (as the ones you mention above) with a friend through email. I told her we most likely would never agree politically, but the important thing was that we respected and loved one another. On that point, she agreed wholeheartedly. Let’s find common ground and learn to live peacefully within diversity. I’m sharing this to all of my pages. I love you, girlfriend ❤

  • Sue Dreamwalker

    Yes it is time for us ALL to grow up and come to understand we are mirroring those exact displays of aggression to one another that we point fingers at in other.. I agree Debby whole heatedly with what you have written..
    Can we not see how bickering is not going to solve the problems of the world it will only make them worse..
    Now more than ever its time to unite and stop finding faults with each other but work together to find solutions which bring about new possibilities for our future world
    We are also being used by the media too..
    It was exactly the same here in the UK when Brexit happened.. the Media began pitching in as opinions on why votes were cast were shown by some to be venting anger at sections of the regions which had majority votes for exit..
    Bankers then jumped in to make a killing on stock market slumps.. For them to buy and then for it to rise again..
    Its like watching a great play…
    I reposted an old poem today and was reading through my old comments on it.. And I came across what I said to someone on it only this evening which fits in with your post Debby I said

    “So the world is under change.. No one likes change.. It takes away our comfort blankets.. And makes us feel insecure.. But Change is also making us question, and the chaos is also bringing about compassion, as hearts open, sending the much needed LOVE, Light, energy even through tears compassion has been lacking globally for a long while..”

    I also said ”
    When you begin to SEE the world in different light as you will as you wake up further…you will see how best to use your energy for the Light and good of mankind.. You are beginning to do that now. As your own vibration is under changes..”

    I hope we use this energy wisely Debby and stop fighting each other over our differences and start to pull together with our strengths.. We need to rebuild not destroy our communities on both sides of the pond.. And pointing fingers and bad mouthing is only adding negative vibrations..

    We reap what we sow.. and its about time we ALL GREW UP and joined in unity for the betterment of mankind and our planet…

    WELL SAID I am with you 100%
    Sue xxx

    • dgkaye

      Wow Sue. Thank you for sharing your generous wisdom and heart with us all here on my page. It is so very true, all of what you said. Tina and I have been talking about this for awhile now how the world is changing, the energy, the vibration, the next dimension. You’re right, we have to learn to ride those tides or become stagnant, stuck in the past realm, left behind. Big Hugs my friend. xoxo <3

      • Sue Dreamwalker

        So pleased you understand Debby where I am coming from.. Many do not.. 🙂 These are the ones still stuck whose narrow view gets upset when things start to change..
        I must perhaps do a spiritual post again to marry the two up.. I have posted blog posts in the past about how we are evolving spiritually and for this to happen great changes are to be experienced.. Not all will I am sure be pleasant.. We see this now as the world changes as countries no longer are separated by race and creed or nationalities.. The Mass Migrations and displacement of people have happened throughout time.. this is yet another window of change where by we are merging to become One.. Yet we resist it and want our separate identities and labels..
        We are very good with our labels are we not? and if they do not fit the labels we like we give them another label.. and put them in our narrow boxes to discard and hope they will go away..
        Oh Debby I could go on forever and a day.. but I will not .. lol..
        Changes are here and we have to move with the flow.. The more we resist then the more things persist.. 🙂 xxx

        • dgkaye

          Sue, I so appreciate you sharing your wisdom here. It is so true that what we resist persists, it doesn’t go away so it’s best to come together and discover a way to move forward with the flow in peace. Although it’s the right thing to do, it’s difficult for people to change because it always feels safer in our comfort zones. This adjustment period can be a bumpy ride. Have you considered writing a book about this? Remember we talked about a book? 🙂 xoxo

  • John Maberry

    It used to be possible, with some people, to have civil conversations on politics. Barry Goldwater and Hubert Humphrey were great friends but with vastly different perspectives on politics. I had fine conversations–genuine dialogue, with a fellow law student of the opposite political viewpoints. That was decades ago. Today, it’s anonymous internet trolling where no one is inhibited from expressing vile commentary. Even when people are not anonymous, i.e., named friends on social media, the pattern continues. The US political system is now so polarized that compromise is viewed as a betrayal of principle rather than a pragmatic response to accomplish things of value even if they are less than the whole loaf of bread. I probably go into the beyond myself at times, when ranting about the other side. It’s easy to let feelings supercede logic. Although I’d like to think that most of what I say is true–even if it bugs some people. Some people of one side or another often seem well inclined to dish it out but not so much inclined to take it. As Vonnegut would say, “so it goes.”

    • dgkaye

      Beautifully said John. You hit it on the head, ‘some are easy to dish, but hard to take it back’ seems to be the problem, non acceptance of what we say is easily misconstrued for retaliation instead of a point of view. RIP Kurt! 🙂

  • Sherri

    Dear Deb, this needed to be said, totally agree with you. I am so sick and tired of the way so many today are willing to shout and spew and shove their opinions down other people’s throats, yet won’t listen one jot to what the other person has to say. It’s bad enough between friends, but even harder in families. To the most extent, my boys and I agree on politics but there are some differences – and no, they definitely did not vote for Trump! – and sometimes we have some heated discussions, but I’ve always fostered that within our family because I’ve always wanted my kids to be able to express their feelings and opinions knowing they will still be respected and loved and that nothing changes between us. What happened to people being able to talk about heated subjects without falling out? All that anger and hatred and vitriol poured out. Same here after Brexit and still blame going on. Oh I could go on! Thank you for this post my dear friend, for your honesty and call to some kind of sense and reason. Lord knows, we need a lot more of that in the days/months/weeks/years/millenia – yikes!! – to come. Have a great weekend and I hope we can all keep calm and carry on lol 🙂 <3 xoxox

    • dgkaye

      Thanks so much Sherri for sharing your views and heart here too. It’s up to all of us EVERYWHERE to unite and go forth with positive attitude and work together, not against one another. Sure we are all entitled to our opinions, as I’ve said here, but there is no need for hatred or bashing for those who don’t share our opinions. Love and peace to you my friend. Happy weekend to you too! 🙂 xoxoxo <3 <3

  • Ann Fields

    Unfortunately the people who should read your “right on” post won’t see it or will and ignore your sage advice. When, oh when will we grow up and learn to talk civilly and responsibly to one another? My other point is…is our definition of friend flawed? …at least when it comes to referring to someone as a friend on social media? I have to honestly say that my friends on social media are not necessarily my friends in everyday life. And because of that, I observe two different conventions of friendship. Regardless, I try to respect both – my social media friends as well as my everyday life friends.

  • amreade

    Thoughtful and well said. Everyone should read this and carefully consider the words of wisdom you’ve shared with us. Hate only breeds more hate, and that’s the last thing any of us need. I hope your post goes viral!! Hugs to you.

  • jjspina

    Succinctly said, Debby. It is shocking how some cannot come to terms with Trump’s win. We must all move forward since there is nothing we can do to change the outcome. We can pray that Trump does a good job and do what is best for the country. Our political views shouldn’t make enemies of one another. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. Hugs xo ❤️

  • Marje @ Kyrosmagica

    Well put Debby, politics can divide opinion but it shouldn’t divide friendships, and marriages!! Luckily my hubby and I are pretty much of the same opinion with regard to politics but imagine if you weren’t!!

  • elainemansfield

    I like knowing where people stand, so thank you. I haven’t shared a lot about politics and avoided anything motivated by rage or hate. I wrote one blog post called “Why I’ll Vote for Hillary Clinton.” I expected complaints, but that didn’t happen. Only a little civil debate which I like. A few months earlier, I had to unfriend one person, although we’ve since agreed to disagree and keep it civil. She attacked people who made comments on my pages. I asked once, twice, three times for her to keep the tone respectful and kind. She couldn’t do it, so I didn’t feel I had a choice.

    • dgkaye

      I’ve heard the same from a few people on Facebook. Many of us keep our opinions to ourselves, I did for awhile but could hold back no longer. That said, we’re entitled to our opinions without having to bash others. Agree to disagree is the best way to handle, but there are some who cannot do that. In your case, I’d have done the same thing. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: