“Twenty Years: After “I Do” shows not only newly married couples but also those in the middle of their lives how to navigate companionship challenges and show love and kindness to their partners, handling life together gracefully and in harmony.
Multibook self-help author D.G. Kaye demonstrates, using examples from her own marriage, how to really commit to a relationship – till death do us part.”
– Doris-Maria Heilmann, 111 Publishing
January 21, 2018
The author is one of the decreasing number of people who understand that marriage is “ti deathl do us part.” Staying together is not optional, it’s not a choice to be made. That choice was made with the speaking of the words, “I Do.” She shows us that love and humor are tools we can use to overcome obstacles we would have thought unsurmountable.
This is a good read. Reading it has made me feel like I’ve made a friend.
January 1, 2018
As I closed the last chapter in D. G. Kaye’s latest book, I felt as though I had just had a conversation with a friend about aging and marriage. In Twenty Years After I Do, Debby reflects on love and changes through the aging process, as her subtitle suggests.
My own husband is slightly younger than I, but I could relate to the author’s personal experience in dealing with her mate’s hearing loss, illness and the challenges of retirement. The author does not sugar coat problems, but readers can expect down-to-earth solutions in this combination memoir/self-help book. Indeed, she affirms, marriage is a like a plant that needs feeding, nurturing, and caring so it will “thrive and continue to bloom.”
Writer Debby advises from a place of deep affection. It is obvious she has married her best friend, one who dubs her variously as Cubby, Cub, and Deb, depending on the circumstances. And yes, couples will fight, she admits, but the partners must learn to fight fair. Her magnanimous nature comes through in this startling statement: “Just because I’m not talking to him doesn’t mean I won’t cook him dinner.” (81)
The author’s early years with a narcissistic mother have left an imprint on all her relationships, including the supreme one with her beloved husband Gordon, twenty years her senior. Yet, in this 108-page book she has translated life lessons from her potentially crippling childhood into the wisdom of happily married life.
Her secret? This author/marriage partner has made a study of her husband, not as a scientific specimen, but as the man she loves body, soul, and spirit.
January 3, 2018
Top customer reviews
December 21, 2017
Are you thinking about getting married? Worried about the future? What happens twenty years later? Most women marry older men when they are younger. Twenty Years: After “I Do explains what you might expect twenty, thirty or forty years later.
Debby G. Kaye writes what I would label as memoirs. Her editor calls this one a self-help book. Deb has a story so compelling that her memoirs work their way into being helpful. She inspires me, not to write my memoirs because I’m not as brave and forthright as she is. However, as an educational consultant, my gut reaction is that her book needs a study guide, and I’m just the person to write it.
Are you married or thinking about getting married to an older man? Maybe not, but if you are married for very long, you will be married to an older man whether you set out to do that or not. D.G. Kaye points out some authentic problems in Twenty Years: After “I Do that you are going to encounter when your husband reaches his 60s or 70s. Probably if you thought about all of them in your 20s, it would paralyze you, and you would never get married. However, as she points out, you think you are invincible when you are that age, and you just jump in. Yet, many people jump into marriages in their later years. They will face these problems without as many years of understanding of their partner.
If you read this book, you will learn how Debby managed to “navigate companionship challenges and show love and kindness to her partner, handling life together gracefully and in harmony.” Some of the hard challenges she shares must have been excruciating to write. What happens when or if wee willy wimps? How do you talk about death, burial, wills? Does your partner have grown children? They certainly play more of a part in your relationship than you might expect since they are out of the home.
This is the perfect gift for the holidays. It’s an easy read with lots of good advice.
Twenty Years: After “I Do”: Reflections on Love and Changes Through AgingTwenty Years: After “I Do”: Reflections on Love and Changes Through AgingTwenty Years: After “I Do”: Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging
December 8, 2017
D.G. Kaye is known for her ability to tell it like it is. There’s no sugar coating here although there is a lot of tenderness, affection, kind heartedness and insight drawn from her life experiences.
The book is an easy and enjoyable read. But make no mistake; it is by no means frivolous or meaningless. The book is filled with insights regarding the author’s reflections on keeping the flames of a relationship alive.
Sure, it’s not always easy, as she points out. Her and her husband do have disagreements, as all couples do, but their commitment to each other in sickness and in health, till death do us part and even after is a model for anyone to follow.
December 13, 2017
What Kaye does with bravour is opening up about the problems encountered and how she and her partner have mastered them. Sensitive, humorous and with plenty of heart-felt love for her partner the book addresses important issues and I think many of us can learn from Debby, admire her choices and identify with the moments where she admittedly struggled.
Above this, the book is a wonderful homage to her husband, a love story, triumph of love over obstacles and a lovely anniversary gift to her husband.
Having read many of Kaye’s other books I’m pleased I found this memoir that uncovered some unknown or lesser known aspects of her life as writer and wife.
I’m sure this will find a large audience as the relationship advice given is relevant for other couples, too.
Thanks for sharing these wonderful reflections and insights.