Updates – Moving On and Best Friends

 

 

Wow! It’s been so long since I posted a personal update here for you. I don’t know where the time has gotten to, but considering my last post a few weeks ago, talking about my brutal move and hearing Johnny Cash on the radio, and the post prior, talking about my moving in July and my BFF coming from the U.K., ya, well, that didn’t happen. But a few things have. And so I’ll fill you in.

 

My bestie from U.K. did not get here because our airports wouldn’t allow non-essential visitors without having to quarantine in a hotel at her own expense, for fourteen days. Heck, so many people can’t even afford to stay that long, so why would they want to spend it alone in quarantine? They only began allowing Canadian residents to come back home, in late June. And now it’s September 7th supposedly, where leisure air travelers will be welcome, as long as they’ve been double vaxxed and Covid tested prior to flight then no quarantine required.

 

Well this new time frame threw a wrench into my U.K. plans. And in the meantime, my friend Zan has sold her house again and will soon be moving to a rental home in a few weeks and she and her hubby will begin a new house project from scratch on the land they’ve purchased. So now, until she gets moved in and her and her hub take a private getaway for a week or so to Italy after their move, their first holiday since Covid struck, she will probably be here in late September. So it’s looking like some time in October I’ll be flying back with her to the U.K. It’s a tough wait, but probably better for time to pass as the summer crowds should be more tame, easier for traveling – maybe a jaunt to France, maybe to Italy, but definitely to Spain, and hopefully more time for the Covid to simmer down. Heck! I may even stay through Christmas, come back, and pack up for Mexico. All I know is I must get out of this constant space and spread my wings and breathe. I have no clue what I’m doing the rest of my life, but I sure as hell know I won’t find out by sitting on a couch with a computer. Nobody is going to come banging my door down with opportunity. I have to get back out into the world.

 

The last week of July, I took a little trip with my girlfriend Alison. We both needed to get out of our four walls, so we rented a hotel room up north here in cottage country for a few days. But, as it turned out, Zan’s sister lived twenty minutes from where we were staying and once Zan told her sister we were there, she swiftly invited us to stay with her instead. So, we stayed the one night at the hotel and off to Kokie’s beautiful home for almost a week! It was a slice of heaven to be in the fresh air and steal a few days at the beach when the usual rainy weather would let up. We had lots of fun yacking, Netflixing, walking, shopping vintage stores and playing Mexican Train Dominoes – a fun variation of Dominoes.

 

It was a lovely mini getaway and I look forward to Zan’s visit here so we can go back up to her sister’s house once she ever arrives here.

 

Coming back to my new abode felt a bit strange and back to reality. I am trying to establish somewhat of a new routine for myself without my husband and now, four months after his passing, everything still feels strange and out of sorts for me without a comforting familiarity.

 

And then something wonderful happened in the midst of my sadness and loneliness, I got a condolence message from my other BFF Bri. We had a falling out a few years back, and sadly, stubbornness had kept that distance hanging. I was elated to hear from her. She adored my husband, and I had wondered why I hadn’t heard from her, thinking she’d have heard the news, but she hadn’t. When she found out, she sent me a message. I replied, and the next thing I knew, we were gabbing on the phone for hours. A few days later, we met at my husband’s grave and spent a few hours together there sitting on the grass, filling each other in on our lives while apart. The day turned into night after picking up some food and killing a bottle of wine together on my balcony at home.

 

The reunion was just what my heart needed, and both of us said to each other that it was my husband who subtly found a way to inform her about his demise and he knew we had to get back together. We both felt that. The whole thing was divine intervention how it all came about, and the fact that I’m pretty much family-less now (a book for another time),  there is no comfort like a best friend who has been in my life for 37 years. She knows all the ghosts, good and bad, and understands my loss better than any family could ever imagine what I’m living.

 

God and the universe certainly do work in mysterious ways. Everything has its time and place. Yes, Zan never got here for my turbulent move, but had she come and the lockdowns coming and going, turns out, Canadians too are being made to quarantine right now still going to U.K. and I wouldn’t be interested in doing that either. Not to mention the new wave the U.K. has been experiencing much of July. Then there’s Zan’s sudden house sale and getting ready to move later this month. Suffice it to say, divine timing is looking much better for the fall than the summer. And in my deep and dark moments, waiting once again for this U.K. connection to happen, my husband and the angels were at work bringing me back together with Bri.

 

In the meantime, I am getting my feet deeper back into blogland. I do hope to get the mental energy up to get back to my MS I completed last fall and get that off to the editor by September. Lots of things up in the air, but definitely some good things to look forward to. I feel uplifted when I have something to look forward to, despite my loneliness and ache for my beloved husband that follows me wherever I may go, making plans and friendships are what keeps me out of ‘the dark’.

 

©DGKaye2021

 

 

 

56 thoughts on “Updates – Moving On and Best Friends

  1. Sis, I’m so happy you will have a good friend that is close to you. George will always look out for you. Never doubt that! Things will work out. One day at a time and don’t forget to breathe… ❤ Huge hugs to you!

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    1. You know me Sis ❤ Yes, I feel a change blowing in the winds and I feel something good is coming – whilst in the midst of my internal grief, struggling to make a new life and keep him with me wherever I go. ❤

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  2. A lovely post Debby and whilst these good things and people coming back into your life cannot take away your grief they can lift the burden of it.. I hope you get to see Sanja later in the year… that will be wonderful.. ♥♥

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    1. Thanks bunches Sal. You said it. Company and friendship is the perfect antidote for me in this time. And look what I responded to Marian’s comment LOL. I’m serious, if that knee isn’t mobile by October, I’ll be swimming over for a visit. I’m not flying that far and not meeting up. So get the marg maker ready! 🙂 ❤ xox

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  3. You sound upbeat here even though you must still have your moments. You can’t wave a magic wand and say “Grief, begone,” nor would you necessarily want to.

    I’m glad you have had some refreshing lately: girl-time, reconciliation with an old friend, and the hope of spreading your wings and flying off to Europe, including Spain, when the weather turns cooler.

    Wishing you all good things and sending hugs too! 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much Marian. I’ve felt this pull for months now that I have to get out and meet new people and travel. I’m stifling in this quiet loneliness. I don’t know for how long or what, but I also have a lot of people to see in UK and I’d like to do that, meet some of my good pals in the real! And I’m definitely not missing out on seeing Sally – if I have to swim over to Ireland. LOL ❤

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  4. Very happy you’re getting out with friends. Your future trip sounds wonderful. Something special to look forward to. ❤️

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  5. How wonderful that you and your friend have found yourselves again and rekindled the wonderful relationship you’d formed those years ago. x

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    1. Thanks so much Trish. We both know my husband orchestrated it, which makes it that much more special. Like I said, friends are the family we choose to be in our lives. My friends are my family just as my friends in our writing circles, like you. ❤ We don't have to live close to form good friendships. ❤ xx

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  6. I’m so glad to hear that things seem to be trending in the right direction for you, Debby. Being with friends is what we all need right now if it can be accomplished safely.

    The burden of Covid seems to be shifting around. I heard that Canada just reopened things this week. After a relatively good period here, everything is falling apart. New virus numbers in our county have never been higher, and the air is awful because of all of the wildfires going on all over the west. We live near the ocean, but the main highways to the south and east are closed because of the fires. We can travel north with several hours delay because the road has been washing away into the ocean. We’re healthy, so it’s hard to complain too much.

    It’s so good to see you back blogging a little more.

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    1. Thanks so much Pete. And thanks for sharing some of what’s going on in your neck of the woods. I know of what you speak as I’m still a news junkie lol. Glad you are safe. When you have your health, you have all you need. 🙂 ❤

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  7. So lovely to hear about your mini break and reuniting with an old friend Debby. The sad news of your hubby brought you two back together. It must be so hard. Wonderful how life has it’s way of mending hurts. Love and light Marje x

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  8. that was such a wonderful update; I’m so happy that you are getting out and about, and that you have such good friends to spend your time with. Here’s to a great tip to Europe, whenever it takes place!

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  9. You’ll meet us in the real, soon, my unicorn buddy, I just know it. ❤ I am so proud of you for still showing up and hanging in there. Yay, for friends and how the universe flows. I love you and am wrapping you in oodles of love and soft hugs. ❤ Xxxx ❤

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  10. While I’ll never be family-less (there are way too many of us), I know well the joy of meeting up again with friends who have known me for decades or all my life. After a short time, the years apart melt away. We all need friends like this. Enjoy. Stay wild and free.

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  11. Divine intervention, indeed. It’s amazing how friends, and friendship, can change our mood, and our lives. Cheers to your friendships, your mini-getaway, and your life opening up bit by bit. Hugs.

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  12. Debby, in case no one has told you, you are doing great! It’s only been four months since you lost a part of yourself. Healing takes time. How wonderful that you got to reunite with your friend. Often our egos keep us apart when our hearts want to love. Travel is a whole other issue, but so great that you had a mini-vacay! Hang in there and keep smiling. Your life isn’t done yet. Hugs!

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  13. I’m so sorry that Zan couldn’t make it. This darn covid, honestly. How much longer?

    But so wonderful that you connected with Bri, Debby. You sound heartened and a bit like your old self is inside there. Despite your deep loss, there is much to look forward to, and I’m glad you’re starting to feel hopeful. Hugs ❤

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    1. Thank you so much Diana. Yes, this Covid has rules changing like underwear almost daily. Quite frankly, I’m dizzy from it! Yes, my heart weighs no less, but there is now a bright spot in it after picking up this long lost friendship. HUgs ❤ xx

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  14. Although things didn’t go as planned, it sounds as if all worked out for the best. Good to catch up with your friend, and it’s great to see you have such positive plans. Stay well and big hugs, Debby.

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  15. Nice to see you spreading your social wings a little, Debby. And it’s also terrific to see you planning for the future. For me, it’s more about what ‘Time’ has planned for us, but don’t tell anyone that I picked that up from Doctor Who.
    Sending you hugs.
    xx

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  16. It is lovely to see a personal post from you Debby, and I am glad to know you have been a way for a short trip and have a trip to the UK to look forward to later in the year. I have notice you’ve been out and out a bit more recently.

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    1. Thanks Robbie. I’m feeling like stir-crazy in this place by myself. I need the travel restrictions lifted so I can get myself into a new headspace. ❤

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  17. Hi Debby – I so often think of you and how you’re coping, yet chomping at the bits to get away and have some space from the sadness (and difficulties) of recent times – of which Covid is the big unknown … which is better to be safe from than sorry.

    I do hope your UK bestie gets to you next month and you’ll be able to return over here with her in October … and to see something of the continent: travelling is challenging. Your idea of a long stay makes sense – and then you’ve Mexico to look forward to.

    Sounds good that trip away to the cottage country … so pleased for you. Then the decision to get Zan to join you there in a few weeks’ time.

    What wonderful news about your BFF Bri getting in touch … and that meet up and chit chat together by your husband’s grave – sounds a delightful memory of life … ending with a happy picnic on your balcony – ideal.

    Well done on starting to adapt to life as it is now – I must say, when my mother was ill, blogging had/has so many benefits. Stay safe and peaceful – with thoughts – Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary. Thank you for your visit and leaving comment on my new awakenings on this journey. Yes, I feel in my soul, in order to move on, I have to get out of here for a time and see where life means to take me. ❤

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  18. Wow! It sounds like you have definitely been making some great lemonade from those lemons life has tossed you. 🙂 Yes, getting away is a good thing. My wife and I will go SOMEWHERE one of these days!

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  19. Oh Debby!!! Such an uplifting post. I smiled the entire way through reading it. I am so, so glad that you managed to get out of your condo for a little break up north with a friend. And that you have many trips to look forward to this fall and winter.

    Also, rekindling with your other bestie (I seem to remember you mentioned something about that “broken” relationship in one of your guest posts for Sally) is spectacularly amazing and – indeed – a divine intervention. It happened at exactly the right time!

    I’m happy about your more positive-looking future. And, while that condo move was brutal, I do think it happened at the right time too. It surely put your mind and body on that! A necessary distraction.

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    1. Liesbet, thanks so much my friend. Yes, getting away for a week from my surroundings was a boost. Of course my husband goes everywhere with me in my heart, it just felt more peaceful around good friends, outdoors and out of my 4 walls. And yes, I absolutely believe my husband intervened for me and Bri to get back together. The timing was definitely divine as after finally moving and getting settled and getting used to the quietness, the grief had been getting heavier. I really need to be around people, good friends. I wish so many of my good friends here like you didn’t live so far away. ❤

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  20. I know I’m desperately late getting to this post, but you know what? I got here in the end!
    Totally understand your reluctance to deal with the quarantines associated with travelling, but this looks brighter now, I think? Do keep us updated on your plans, I’d love to be able to get down to England to finally meet up!!!

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    1. Yay, thanks for finding this post and commenting Deb. Yessssssssssssssss girl! Of course I hope you and I can meet up. I mean, come on, you are almost my first author friend I met in blogland! 🙂 :). Looks like it’s going to happen late October. Of courseeeeeeeeee I will keep you informed!!! Hugs xox

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