if love could have saved you

Grief and Loss and Spirit Connection – 3 Years and Still Feels Like Yesterday

Published on by dgkaye

“Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation” – Kahlil Gibran

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This week’s post is an acknowledgment to the third anniversary of my husband’s passing this past Sunday April 7th. That day wasn’t any easier than any past years, in fact, because I keep my husband close in my heart and talk to him daily, I still feel his presence around me daily just as though he is still here with me. Because he is.

I talk to him all the time. He hears me, this I know. I’m not crazy, I’m spiritual and I feel spirit. I’ve long since given up second-guessing myself, asking myself if every sign and moment I sense spirit is just wishful thinking, accepting what I feel as real and not imagined.

A medium I went to see last summer told me how she saw my husband, and relayed messages from him to me. Messages that may have made no sense to her, but I understood the language, personal things that only he and I would share with each other and understand.

I talk to my husband all the time, especially when I have a dilemma – large or small. He was always my best sounding board, and still from the other realm where he now resides, he always sends help. My magical husband seems to beckon to my call when I can’t perform a simple task, or when looking for something I’ve misplaced. Somehow it always works out, just as it always did when I relied on him here. There have been so many of those moments to even speak of, but with each time he is there in my time of confusion or need, problems are magically solved. Too many times to believe otherwise. All I have to do when I’m at my wit’s end of solving, finding or fixing something is look up and say, “Hun, please intervene here and give me a hand or a clue” and miraculously, dilemma solved.

Now, I don’t expect everyone to understand or even believe this continuing connection I have with my husband, and I do believe there are a host of elements attached to these uncanny gifts I receive from him, elements that many aren’t privileged to receive, but I have the gift of being clairsentient, being able to feel when spirit is around, and being able to identify who that spirit is. Also there’s the fact that my husband and I were twin flames together on earth. We were velcroed at the hip spiritually and often physically together whether physically together at a moment or not. We knew each other’s thoughts without speaking. We were each other’s biggest cheerleaders and both of us would have gone to the ends of the earth to make one another happy. We were beyond the realm of the physical on earth, so it is no surprise to me why our connection continues. And I am very grateful for that because it helps me get by daily knowing my husband is still with me in spirit. I’m not sure I could function otherwise.

Energy never dies, hence the soul never dies, which makes it clear to me how my husband remains in my orbit even from another dimension. He has proven it to me so many times over. We were a true love story and love never ends, hence, never will grief. The more we loved, the more we will grieve. I can attest to this. Grief is just pent up love with nowhere to go.

One of my favorite mediums I listen to is Matt Fraser, as he talks about the connections we on earth still share with lost loved ones on the other side. I find comfort in listening to someone who understands much of what I experience. Truthfully, I feel that if it weren’t for this continued connection I am gifted to still have with my husband, I don’t know how I could continue living if I were to believe my husband’s death was the final end of us. I know in my heart it is definitely him pulling me along this journey, guiding me to where I need to be along the way to where my next path leads. He remains my guide while he knows I’m still in limbo going through the motions of life, not yet knowing where I’m going, walking in baby steps with many pauses along the way. Just as I know that as much as he will never leave my side, one day he will know when I’m strong enough for him to let go of my hand when I find the new path my life is supposed to take and once again learn to walk steadily on my own. And still, he will remain by my side. I take comfort in knowing this.

I brought some new ornaments to his grave (shrine maybe?). Doing these things makes me feel better.

The Bite – I Love You to the Moon

I love you to the depths of my soul.

When you asked me to marry you, my heart held all the joy in the world.

Yet, the fear of the future and concern about how I’d deal if I were to lose you because of our age difference, frightened me to my core.

I weighed the odds and decided that another love like ours could never be.

I hugged you in true laughter, and said yes, but I made you promise me at least twenty years.

What a fool I was, short-changing myself and not asking for thirty or more.

Your promise gave me twenty-two,

That fateful fear that’d haunted the corners of my mind, came back to bite.

No number of years would have ever been enough to have to let you go.

I love you now, still, and forever.

I love you forever into the beyond.

God gifted me you, but only on loan. Because he wanted you back.

I had to give back the most precious part of life, honoring the bargain.

You were my lesson on love.

I tasted true unconditional love,

A gift that many have been denied the privilege.

You’re a gift that will blanket my heart for the rest of my days.

I love you.

grief quote

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And from the wise words of one of my favorite compassionate poets, Donna Ashworth, whose poetry speaks always of one who wears the badge of loss, and seems to sum up that unexplicable connection that remains long after loss, from her book, Loss:

“Maybe people don’t want to stop grieving…

Maybe they are terrified, that the grief they feel is the last thing they have left of their person.

That if they move on from this grief, they will lose the final connection, the only tie.

Maybe people feel united with their loved one,

in the realm just outside our reality.

United in pain and loss.

Banished to a parallel universe where they can both exist together, still together.

Maybe that’s just too precious to move on from . . .”

Donna Ashworth

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©DGKaye2024

82 thoughts on “Grief and Loss and Spirit Connection – 3 Years and Still Feels Like Yesterday”

  3. Love this beautiful connection with your late husband. So sorry for your loss but I’m so glad you can feel him with you always. Wishing you continued warmth and love!

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  6. It’s been eleven years now since my Wife died and I can still talk to her and feel her around. It was a cold January a few years ago when out with our daughter in a shopping arcade that we saw a butterfly, it settled on my arm for a few moments and then flew to her shoulder . It was there for only seconds before it took wing again and we both felt bereft a second time though also privileged to have had such a visit. You are right that energy does not die, the spirit lives on and allows us glimpses of reunions to come.

    Huge Hugs.

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    1. Hello David. Thank you so much for sharing your gifted visitation. I know well of those magical moments. I’ve had that experience myself, and more so with dragonflies. Yes, energy doesn’t die. And neither does the love. Big hugs to you back 🙂 ❤ xx

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  16. I am a sincere believer in the cosmic radio, spiritual realm, whatever you want to call it. It’s as real as real can be. However, if we know that, what’s the point of mediums? If they were any good they’d be extra larges, at least. Hearing about, reading about the cosmic radio isn’t anywhere close to a quiet moment and allowing yourself to be immersed. All we have to do is “put our ears on” and listen. If you get it, you don’t need anyone to reinforce it for you because words can’t touch it. The spark enters your mind and you know, see, feel…without words or explanations. Good for you. For trusting yourself. Now, tell the mediums to hit it. You have your own 800 number to the “other”, often the same, side.

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    1. Lol Phil, thank you so much. I loved all that you said. And you are so right, only there are very many people who are not tuned into spirit, therefore, they have no faith in believing in such things. I am blessed to have ‘the gift’ and yes, I don’t need anyone from any other dimension to tell me about my husband, we are forever connected and he shows me everyday. 🙂

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  17. It is incredible that it has been already 3 years since your husband passed away. Your spiritual strength and bond with your husband is testament of the precious gift of faith. ❤

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  18. This is beautiful, heartbreaking and reassuring all in one. To have experienced ‘true unconditional love’ is a blessing and knowing that you still have that connection to him is something to be treasured. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  19. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts and your beautiful poem. You are blessed to be still connected to your husband. The connection between spirits outlasts the physical connections, and I find that comforting, and intriguing…

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  21. I’m so glad you still have such a strong and loving connection with your husband, Debby, and that he’s still a large part of your life. This post was moving and a beautiful tribute to your love and the power of spirit to transcend the physical. Thanks for sharing your heart. Hugs.

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  23. Beautifully penned, dear Debby.

    I remember the first time I visited you…it was a different looking blog. Your husband was quite ill. I wanted to say something, anything.

    I remember having difficulty commenting, but believe I finally did manage.

    The depth of your love was a fabulous flag unfurling into the winds of life. It still flies boldly, and bright.

    Cheers to you Debby, and to your love!

     xo💐 xo💐 xo💐

    PS, the opening quote is killer!

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    1. Thank you my lovely friend for your heartfelt words. I’m afraid my beloved has left me with a lifetime of us to write about. I try to keep my painful stuff for the book I’m writing, but felt I wanted to give him a tribute here on my page in acknowledgment. My words, my heart, and the writing is cathartic. And yes, Gibran’s quote touched me deeply too. Hugs ❤ xox ❤

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      1. Ahh, I was wondering if you were still writing the memoir. I want to read it when you are finished.
        Maybe I could be a Beta reader?
        Well, the post is lovely, as are you!
        Big hugs! xoxo💖

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      2. Wow! Just plucked this and 2 other comments of yours out of spam. And thank you so much for your interest in my upcoming book. I would be honored if you would beta read it!!! Thank you so much, My Lovely. Bigger hugs! ❤ xox ❤

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      3. Yes… I would love to Beta read!Thank you for de-spamming me! It’s important to check spam on a regular basis.
        You never know who you’ll find in there!
        xoxoxo

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  25. Deb, I can understand this connection of love that never wanes even when we are not together yet we are. It may seem strange to others but in our hearts we know what he would’ve said or done in the given situation. Love and hugs dear friend.

    I agree Deb… grief is that undying love and it grows with every passing moment.

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    1. Thank you my friend. I’m sorry that you too are experiencing this journey, but am glad that you too understand and feel love has no distance, nor does it die with the human body. They remain a flame that burns within our hearts, and that is important for me to feel to carry on without him. ❤

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  26. Hi Debby, I had to gear myself up to read this post because I knew it would be deeply emotional. A beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your husband and both poems are wonderful. I also believe that energy does not die ❤️‍🔥

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    1. HI Robbie. Thank you so much for gearing up and reading. As you know well, poetry often evokes deep emotion. It’s a cathartic release for pain too. It’s difficult to write about grief without taking in the reader. Thank you. ❤ ❤

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  27. i do believe people never die, the connections we made can last longer than the life that’s given to us. I have a few close people who left this world but I still feel like they haven’t abandoned me. I know they are a network that will support me if I fall, I count on them. in my twenties and thirties they fell like flies, I was kind of jealous actually since my time didn’t come yet. Now I have just learned to accept it, being here and now is the only thing we have to master. Sometimes it’s harder than it seems

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  29. I love how you unabashedly know what you know and share it in your grief posts Debby. He is with you. Love is that connection that keeps him there. And boy, it makes a lot of sense that energy never dies. That is a scientific fact. Both yours and Donna’s words are beautiful. ♥

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  30. Debby,

    It is beautiful you have a connection to your husband that you can feel. Love and energy can not be destroyed, they continue forever more. Thanks for sharing your journey.

    Many Blessings

    Lisa xoxo

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  31. Big hugs to you, my friend. Your beautiful spiritual connection with your hubby is profound and may you continue to feel his presence. I believe we’re connected to those on the other side (the present Heaven in my belief). I felt when my mom passed at 3am 4 years ago, which woke me from a sound sleep. I felt her spirit leave the earth.

    Once in a while, I feel a tickling at my leg as if my little Aero is reminding me his sweet spirit. Our connection with our Heavenly Father is real and one day we will all be reunited. My BIL recently lost his long time partner, I hope he gets out of his own way to grieve and stay spiritually connected with her.

    This was so beautiful and uplifting to read. Xxoxo

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    1. Hi Terri. Thank you so much for your loving words, and for sharing some of your own experience with spirit, re-confirming that there is so much else out ‘there’ we can’t explain, yet know there is. Big hugs ❤ xox

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  32. Debby, what you had – and still have – with your Puppy is so extremely special and nothing like any love I’ve ever witnessed or felt myself. I think you are correct about the more you love, the more you (will) grief. Maybe I’m preparing for that myself – unconsciously.

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    1. Thank you so much Liesbet for your lovely words. We had a very special connection and love, and I know it was a gift, as I know everyone is not so privileged. Just makes it all the harder to let go. You are living life to its fullest, don’t be thinking about preparing for ‘that day’. Enjoy all your days because we never know when the universe will snatch a loved one. Something nobody could rehearse for. Big hugs ❤ xox

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  35. Can you point me in any good direction?
    What on earth does a person do when you have, either:
    A) an older relative who isnt dying immediately, but seems waayyy-too-often to be coming down with sinus colds, or a hip out of alignment that needs chiropractic treatments. All these take more than one treatment and nearly always seem to last too long. If it isnt that, they’ll fall or scrape themselves. Could we have 9 or 10 days where everything healed-up and things are basically fine? But so often its one thing after another.I suppose even more maddening is that it nearly always take so long to get over whatever it is. The standard answer is: “i’m Old”, which is true, but still, they can walk and drive and shop. You get “sick-of-them-being-sick” but mostly how whatever they have, seems to be draaaaggged out, again and again before it gets healed or they get over it. Also–
    B) you have another relative, who if you say its Black, they’ll say its white. You have almost nothing in common and this person has far too often dismissed, ridiculed or minimized your views/opinions. Too often. And so–

    Bad as it sounds, you can imagine them dying and not feeling as much sadness as you “should” but some relief. Then, you no sooner do,ster and you feel like an uncaring Monster, and guilt eats at you. Help! Is there ANY book i can read that addresses these situations? People make videos on Grief, but almost nothing on this TYPE.
    Any recommendations? Thanks.

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    1. Hello Owl, I’m sorry for your dilemma. As you may realize, this post is about grief, not guilt. But I write plenty of guilt in some of my books – Conflicted Hearts and P.S. I Forgive You. As a person who grew up wtih plenty of guilt, we are far from alone. And there are so many books and videos around that are helpful to try and understand. I highly recommend you go on Amazon and type in words ‘guilty conscience, or something like containing the word guilt, and you can find a slew of books to peruse. Read the blurbs and scan through some reviews to see if there is the right book for you. As for videos, Youtube has plenty. I would also recommend you add those same words in the search bar on Youtube then scroll through them to find what may resonate with you. I hope this helps. 🙂

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