Today I’m thrilled to introduce you to friend and fellow Canadian blogger/author, Lisa Thomson
Lisa’s blog – The Great Escape Divorce Support at Lisa Thomson Live offers tips on how to get through divorce by sharing her own journey through divorce and the hurdles she endured through the process, and she offers tips to help those experiencing the same issues in their own lives. Lisa welcomes everyone to her blog which she calls – The Divorce Support Party. Lisa also shares some of her intimate stories on her blog to inspire others with lessons learned and offers a wealth of information on topics on common divorce issues. She also has a series on her blog entitled The Wine Diaries where she shares intimate thoughts about situations she’s encountered and shares her thoughts with a bottle of wine, of course!
I graduated from the University of Alberta in 1990. I was married for 18 years and was a stay at home mom after the birth of my daughter. After my separation and trying to put my life back together, I returned to the University’s ‘Faculty of Extension’ and pursued a certificate in Residential Interiors. I live in Vancouver, B.C. Canada, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
I am a Huffington Post blogger and Featured Columnist for Divorced Moms. I am currently in the editing phase of my soon to be released short story collection The Icing On The Cake. It’s all about love; finding it, losing it and trying to figure out this complex thing we call relationships. Stay tuned for release date.
Motto I live by: “Happiness is found in the people in your life, not the things in your life.”
The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage is not only a thought provoking, intimate account about how one woman left her marriage, but it’s an informative, self-help guide for women either contemplating or going through the divorce process right now. Ms Thomson gives honest advice and tips on related topics including; making the decision, parenting, legal issues, finances as well as the social changes to expect. If you are thinking about ending your marriage, this book is a must read.
A Divorce Companion promises to be the compassionate friend you need during your divorce journey. It is the compilation of the very best and most popular blog posts written over the last five years at The Great Escape Divorce Support blog. Edited and organized for easy navigation, the book covers diverse topics from narcissism and co-parenting to sex, finances and lawyers. As well, it is filled with personal stories that will resonate with any reader navigating their own divorce journey. It is complementary to the original book by Ms. Thomson, The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage.
Now let’s get to know a little bit more about Lisa and her writing!
I love that your blog isn’t specifically just for people of divorce, but much about what you post encompasses problems we may all encounter in our relationships on a variety of topics from character flaws, to reasons to be grateful, and finding the humor. Do you find your audience is a mix of male and female or mostly attracts women?
Thank you, Debby. I do try to encompass healing topics that may apply to not only divorce, but other life stresses. On the whole, my blog readers are female. I have a few male readers that remain quiet 🙂
What inspired you to want to share your journey through your divorce?
Great question. The primary inspiration was my difficulty in finding real stories, resources and books that spoke to me when I initiated my divorce. Because my divorce didn’t unfold the way I imagined (I don’t think anyone’s does), I searched for self help books that just didn’t exist. I wanted to hear it from women who’d “been there”, not from Dr. Phil.
So, I began writing a book based on my own difficulties and challenges of my divorce, to share an honest experience. In addition, I aimed to provide solutions to those common difficulties. Of course, this was in 2008 and blogs were not nearly as common as they are now. Divorce blogs essentially were non-existent.
My book came from the ashes of my journal, so to speak. In the early stages of my divorce I kept a journal to channel my frustration, outrage, pain, doubts, and the overall changes my divorce caused in my life.
I took excerpts from those early writings and put them into relevant chapters of my book. I really wanted to express the “real” experience, rather than write a sugar-coated divorce book.
You offer a section on your blog titled ‘Divorce Articles’. What type of helpful articles can we expect to find on those pages?
The ‘Divorce Articles’ is a section of my website where I share specific how-to’s regarding legal aspects of divorce. For example, I share a step by step process to attaining a child support order. I even share an example of an affidavit. I also share an article about weighing the pros and cons of self representation in court, and what to think about before deciding to go it alone. The articles also elaborate on my personal legal experiences in my divorce.
I know you also have a following on Youtube where you share segments on topics you write about. And I’ve noticed you have readers that write to you, sort of like a ‘Dear Abby’ column. Do you ever encounter any male readers who protest about some of the things you write about?
My youtube channel has a large following and interestingly, I have not promoted it one bit. Specifically, my video on Parental Alienation has been the most watched. Indeed, many negative comments have been posted by men. They want to make the issue of PA into a gender based war. It is not. Men and women (moms and dads) are equally vulnerable to being targeted by an ex for this terrible syndrome. Not to elaborate on the topic here, Deb, but just to give a general definition for those who have never heard of it, Parental Alienation is when a parent alienates their children from their other parent. It is more common during divorce. Although, in intact families there can be subtle alienation. It usually occurs when one parent is unstable, insecure and may suffer from a personality disorder.
What can we expect to learn from your first book – The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage?
Basically, a woman who has been a stay-at-home wife and mother can learn what steps to take to end an unhappy or abusive marriage. She will learn how to get back on her own two feet and take the necessary steps to navigate a healthy divorce.
Topics range from financial management, how to hire a lawyer, legal terms to know, co-parenting tips, signs of Parental Alienation, social changes to expect, and finally, how to move on.
Your second book, A Divorce Companion contains edited versions of some of your most informative blogposts. What inspired that idea?
Well, one day I realized just how much writing I had accumulated on my blog over a four year time period. My most popular blog posts were just sitting there, kind of buried on my site. I thought, why not put all of these posts together into relevant sub-topics and create a new book?
So, that’s exactly what I did. It was a fairly laborious process though. You would think it would be simple because the writing had already been done. However, I had to edit out images, slang, any typos, to make it a cohesive, smooth read.
I think I succeeded though, in creating an e-book that truly reads as a companion for anyone navigating a divorce.
Please tell us about your newest upcoming book, Lost Hearts. Is that a novel or a self-help guide? Fiction or nonfiction?
Lost Hearts is a collection of short stories. The inspiration behind the story collection is losing love and finding it again. A universal theme, I believe, especially as we go through our life’s journey. This collection really resonates with hope, and the fact that in spite of our circumstances, we are capable of rising above the ruins of lost love, to find it once again.
I’ve always enjoyed reading a short story collection myself and hope my readers will enjoy the variety of characters, plot and settings in each one. They’re great for when you’re on the go and don’t have the time to immerse yourself into a full-on novel.
I hope this quote piques the reader’s interest:
“What do a young wife, a cheating spouse, and a widow have in common? Lost hearts. Will they be found again?”
Please share an excerpt of any one of your two published books, or from your upcoming book, your choice.
From my upcoming book, the short story titled “New York Dreams” (warning: this story deals with domestic violence);
…Jack’s lips tightened, the corners turned down. This had the effect of showing his age. Another reason, Kora thought, he wasn’t snagging the prime acting roles as frequently as he once had. He turned to the bar table and refilled his glass. Kora turned to go into the kitchen. She had to create some distance and figure out how to deal with him. She took a deep breath. She knew now, she was in grave danger. Put your cell phone in your pocket, a voice said. Do it now!
“Don’t you walk away from me.” He followed her into the kitchen. She quickly grabbed her handbag that she always kept on the desk in the kitchen. She blindly stuffed her hand in and felt for her cell phone, while keeping an eye on Jack.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He reached out to grab her purse and missed.
“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Kora turned her back on him with false confidence and held her hand bag safely to her chest.
“Like Hell you are.” He reached for her hair and missed. She walked down the hall. Don’t react yet. Stay calm. Stay brave.
She quickened her step at the end of the hall and quickly shut and locked the bathroom door. Think. She had to figure out how to get Jacqueline out with her, safely. It might not happen tonight. You might have to wait. “I can’t.” She muttered under her breath. Kora knew in an instant the risk of leaving was less than the danger of staying one more night. The alcohol fueled Jack’s volatility and there was no guarantee Jacqueline would be unscathed by his wrath. He hadn’t harmed her in any way before, but Kora could feel in her bones, he was escalating, just as Alice warned her he would.
She took her cell phone out and put it in her bra. She took ID, cash and credit cards out of her billfold in case he took her handbag away from her. Keys! Get your keys! “Yes”. Luckily her key ring was limited to a few important keys; the apartment, the building entrance and her mailbox…with her hands shaking she put her keys in her sock, the doorknob rattled. Bang, bang, bang on the door. His fist came down hard and furious. She flushed the toilet. She stole a moment to think but the thoughts stopped coming. She started to shake from the inside out. She had to gain control or he would take over. Think fast.
God, no. The fog was coming. Should she put on a brave face or cower like a child? Which persona would make him angrier than he already was? Bang, Bang, Bang.
“Get the fuck outta there! I’m talking to you! Fuckin’ bitch. Show your face.” Kora could feel his angry energy through the bathroom door. She could hear him breathing.
“Are you afraid?” He asked.
She tried to control her shaking. Silence. Breathing. BAM. She thought his fist would come right through. This was like out of a movie, not real life Kora thought. This can’t be happening. She heard Jack cursing and the door knob wiggled again. He was trying to pick the lock.”…
Deb, thank you so much for having me over to your blog. I always enjoy talking about my writing and appreciate this opportunity to share my work!
Lis, it was an absolute pleasure having you over today. Your writing is so insightful and although you talk about issues that aren’t always pretty, they are important and unfortunately, so relevant to so many people who live through stressful relationships today. It’s no surprise your books are inspiring to so many. And I look forward to your newest book, especially after that excerpt, which really hit home with me.
Follow Lisa and Connect with her at:
The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage http://amzn.to/2xPnK3M
A Divorce Companion http://amzn.to/2pZrNlB