Guest Author Feature – Lisa Thomson – Divorce Support Party

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Featured author of the week

 

 

Today I’m thrilled to introduce you to friend and fellow Canadian blogger/author, Lisa Thomson

Lisa’s blog – The Great Escape Divorce Support at Lisa Thomson Live offers tips on how to get through divorce by sharing her own journey through divorce and the hurdles she endured through the process, and she offers tips to help those experiencing the same issues in their own lives. Lisa welcomes everyone to her blog which she calls – The Divorce Support Party. Lisa also shares some of her intimate stories on her blog to inspire others with lessons learned and offers a wealth of information on topics on common divorce issues. She also has a series on her blog entitled The Wine Diaries where she shares intimate thoughts about situations she’s encountered and shares her thoughts with a bottle of wine, of course!

 

Lisa Thompson

 

About Lisa:

I graduated from the University of Alberta in 1990.  I was married for 18 years and was a stay at home mom after the birth of my daughter.  After my separation and trying to put my life back together, I returned to the University’s ‘Faculty of Extension’ and pursued a certificate in Residential Interiors. I live in Vancouver, B.C. Canada, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

I am a  Huffington Post  blogger and Featured Columnist for  Divorced Moms. I am currently in the editing phase of my soon to be released short story collection The Icing On The Cake. It’s all about love; finding it, losing it and trying to figure out this complex thing we call relationships. Stay tuned for release date.

I’ve been interviewed around the web.  If you want to know more about me and my book check out First Wives World and this interview with CBC Radio.

Motto I live by: “Happiness is found in the people in your life, not the things in your life.”

 

The Great Escape by Lisa Thompson

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Blurb:

The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage is not only a thought provoking, intimate account about how one woman left her marriage, but it’s an informative, self-help guide for women either contemplating or going through the divorce process right now. Ms Thomson gives honest advice and tips on related topics including; making the decision, parenting, legal issues, finances as well as the social changes to expect. If you are thinking about ending your marriage, this book is a must read.

 

Lisa Thompson - The Great Escape Blog

Get this book on Amazon

 

Blurb:

A Divorce Companion promises to be the compassionate friend you need during your divorce journey. It is the compilation of the very best and most popular blog posts written over the last five years at The Great Escape Divorce Support blog. Edited and organized for easy navigation, the book covers diverse topics from narcissism and co-parenting to sex, finances and lawyers. As well, it is filled with personal stories that will resonate with any reader navigating their own divorce journey. It is complementary to the original book by Ms. Thomson, The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage.

 

Now let’s get to know a little bit more about Lisa and her writing!

 

I love that your blog isn’t specifically just for people of divorce, but much about what you post encompasses problems we may all encounter in our relationships on a variety of topics from character flaws, to reasons to be grateful, and finding the humor. Do you find your audience is a mix of male and female or mostly attracts women?

 

Thank you, Debby. I do try to encompass healing topics that may apply to not only divorce, but other life stresses. On the whole, my blog readers are female. I have a few male readers that remain quiet 🙂

 

 

What inspired you to want to share your journey through your divorce?

 

Great question. The primary inspiration was my difficulty in finding real stories, resources and books that spoke to me when I initiated my divorce. Because my divorce didn’t unfold the way I imagined (I don’t think anyone’s does), I searched for self help books that just didn’t exist. I wanted to hear it from women who’d “been there”, not from Dr. Phil.

So, I began writing a book based on my own difficulties and challenges of my divorce, to share an honest experience. In addition, I aimed to provide solutions to those common difficulties. Of course, this was in 2008 and blogs were not nearly as common as they are now. Divorce blogs essentially were non-existent.

My book came from the ashes of my journal, so to speak. In the early stages of my divorce I kept a journal to channel my frustration, outrage, pain, doubts, and the overall changes my divorce caused in my life.

I took excerpts from those early writings and put them into relevant chapters of my book. I really wanted to express the “real” experience, rather than write a sugar-coated divorce book.

 

 

You offer a section on your blog titled ‘Divorce Articles’. What type of helpful articles can we expect to find on those pages?

 

The ‘Divorce Articles’ is a section of my website where I share specific how-to’s regarding legal aspects of divorce. For example, I share a step by step process to attaining a child support order. I even share an example of an affidavit. I also share an article about weighing the pros and cons of self representation in court, and what to think about before deciding to go it alone. The articles also elaborate on my personal legal experiences in my divorce.

 

 

I know you also have a following on Youtube where you share segments on topics you write about. And I’ve noticed you have readers that write to you, sort of like a ‘Dear Abby’ column. Do you ever encounter any male readers who protest about some of the things you write about?

 

My youtube channel has a large following and interestingly, I have not promoted it one bit. Specifically, my video on Parental Alienation has been the most watched. Indeed, many negative comments have been posted by men. They want to make the issue of PA into a gender based war. It is not. Men and women (moms and dads) are equally vulnerable to being targeted by an ex for this terrible syndrome. Not to elaborate on the topic here, Deb, but just to give a general definition for those who have never heard of it, Parental Alienation is when a parent alienates their children from their other parent. It is more common during divorce. Although, in intact families there can be subtle alienation. It usually occurs when one parent is unstable, insecure and may suffer from a personality disorder.

 

What can we expect to learn from your first book – The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage?

 

Basically, a woman who has been a stay-at-home wife and mother can learn what steps to take to end an unhappy or abusive marriage. She will learn how to get back on her own two feet and take the necessary steps to navigate a healthy divorce.

Topics range from financial management, how to hire a lawyer, legal terms to know, co-parenting tips, signs of Parental Alienation, social changes to expect, and finally, how to move on.

 

Your second book, A Divorce Companion contains edited versions of some of your most informative blogposts. What inspired that idea?

 

Well, one day I realized just how much writing I had accumulated on my blog over a four year time period. My most popular blog posts were just sitting there, kind of buried on my site. I thought, why not put all of these posts together into relevant sub-topics and create a new book?

So, that’s exactly what I did. It was a fairly laborious process though. You would think it would be simple because the writing had already been done. However, I had to edit out images, slang, any typos, to make it a cohesive, smooth read.

I think I succeeded though, in creating an e-book that truly reads as a companion for anyone navigating a divorce.

 

Please tell us about your newest upcoming book, Lost Hearts. Is that a novel or a self-help guide? Fiction or nonfiction?

 

Lost Hearts is a collection of short stories. The inspiration behind the story collection is losing love and finding it again. A universal theme, I believe, especially as we go through our life’s journey. This collection really resonates with hope, and the fact that in spite of our circumstances, we are capable of rising above the ruins of lost love, to find it once again.

I’ve always enjoyed reading a short story collection myself and hope my readers will enjoy the variety of characters, plot and settings in each one. They’re great for when you’re on the go and don’t have the time to immerse yourself into a full-on novel.

I hope this quote piques the reader’s interest:

“What do a young wife, a cheating spouse, and a widow have in common? Lost hearts. Will they be found again?”

 

 

Please share an excerpt of any one of your two published books, or from your upcoming book, your choice.

 

From my upcoming book, the short story titled “New York Dreams” (warning: this story deals with domestic violence);

 

…Jack’s lips tightened, the corners turned down.  This had the effect of showing his age. Another reason, Kora thought, he wasn’t snagging the prime acting roles as frequently as he once had. He turned to the bar table and refilled his glass.  Kora turned to go into the kitchen.  She had to create some distance and figure out how to deal with him.  She took a deep breath. She knew now, she was in grave danger. Put your cell phone in your pocket, a voice said.  Do it now! 

“Don’t you walk away from me.” He followed her into the kitchen.  She quickly grabbed her handbag that she always kept on the desk in the kitchen.  She blindly stuffed her hand in and felt for her cell phone, while keeping an eye on Jack.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He reached out to grab her purse and missed.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Kora turned her back on him with false confidence and held her hand bag safely to her chest.

“Like Hell you are.”  He reached for her hair and missed. She walked down the hall.  Don’t react yet.  Stay calm. Stay brave.

She quickened her step at the end of the hall and quickly shut and locked the bathroom door.  Think.  She had to figure out how to get Jacqueline out with her, safely. It might not happen tonight. You might have to wait.  “I can’t.” She muttered under her breath.  Kora knew in an instant the risk of leaving was less than the danger of staying one more night. The alcohol fueled Jack’s volatility and there was no guarantee Jacqueline would be unscathed by his wrath. He hadn’t harmed her in any way before, but Kora could feel in her bones, he was escalating, just as Alice warned her he would.

She took her cell phone out and put it in her bra.  She took ID, cash and credit cards out of her billfold in case he took her handbag away from her. Keys! Get your keys! “Yes”.  Luckily her key ring was limited to a few important keys; the apartment, the building entrance and her mailbox…with her hands shaking she put her keys in her sock, the doorknob rattled.  Bang, bang, bang on the door. His fist came down hard and furious.  She flushed the toilet.  She stole a moment to think but the thoughts stopped coming.  She started to shake from the inside out.  She had to gain control or he would take over. Think fast.

God, no. The fog was coming. Should she put on a brave face or cower like a child?  Which persona would make him angrier than he already was? Bang, Bang, Bang.

“Get the fuck outta there! I’m talking to you! Fuckin’ bitch.  Show your face.” Kora could feel his angry energy through the bathroom door. She could hear him breathing. 

“Are you afraid?”  He asked.

She tried to control her shaking. Silence. Breathing. BAM. She thought his fist would come right through.  This was like out of a movie, not real life Kora thought. This can’t be happening. She heard Jack cursing and the door knob wiggled again. He was trying to pick the lock.”…

 

Deb, thank you so much for having me over to your blog. I always enjoy talking about my writing and appreciate this opportunity to share my work!

 

Lis, it was an absolute pleasure having you over today. Your writing is so insightful and although you talk about issues that aren’t always pretty, they are important and unfortunately, so relevant to so many people who live through stressful relationships today. It’s no surprise your books are inspiring to so many. And I look forward to your newest book, especially after that excerpt, which really hit home with me.

 

Follow Lisa and Connect with her at:

TwitterPinterestFacebook , instagram, youtube and Goodreads.

Amazon Author Page: 

 

BlogLisaThomsonLive.com

 

The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage http://amzn.to/2xPnK3M

A Divorce Companion http://amzn.to/2pZrNlB

 

 

http://www.lisathomsonlive.com

twitter.com@lisalisathom

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLr4UUFy1qewNkABB5jXMhw

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64 Comments

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    1. Wow, thanks for sharing our interview Lisa. 🙂

  1. Deb, thank you so much for having me! I’m honored to be featured here on your blog. I enjoy nothing more than sharing my passion for writing. 🙂

    1. My pleasure Lis. And I love helping others share their words, so it’s a win/win. 🙂 x

  2. Thanks for the introduction to Lisa and her work, Debby. These books sound like they’re full of valuable information that will support many women through the process of divorce and finding their way back into happiness. When I was young and going through that process, there was nada, zip, nothin’. I’m glad that’s no longer the case. 🙂

    1. Thanks Diana. I agree with you, when we were younger it was more difficult to find help. And now so many want to read books that they can identify with as much as reading clinical takes. 🙂 x

    2. Thank you, D Wallace. I’m not sure when your divorce happened but if it was anywhere pre-2000 then definitely was a lack of “real” written advice out there. There’s so much more in the way of resources now with large, group websites dedicated to divorce. It’s a good thing 🙂

      1. 1990. Practically the dark ages. 🙂

  3. How very clever–and valuable. I have never been divorced but twere I, I surely would need help making sense of it. These books look great.

    1. Glad to hear you’re not in need Jacqui. But there’s more to the divorce component with Lisa, because she talks about relationships, things that lead to divorce and more. 🙂

    2. Thanks, Jacqui. Nice to hear you’ve not been divorced 😀

  4. A terrific post and interview Debby and Lisa.. My divorce took three years 40 years ago and apart from the emotional, physical and mental stress of the actual separation, it was horrendous from a legal standpoint. Whilst at times I do think that it is now so easy to pull the plug on relationships in a matter of weeks in some cases, it has the same impact on your wellbeing, often for a lifetime. Very helpful and important that people do not feel that they are alone and do not have to reinvent the wheel. hugs xx

    1. Hi Sal, thanks for sharing some of your personal woes. You are so right, just ending a relationship doesn’t make its existence disappear. And nothing better than learning positive things from one who has experienced that road and willing to walk them through the journey in positive light. 🙂 <3 xx

      1. Quite Debby and you do a great job of that with your memoirs. ♥

        1. Thanks so much my gal Sal <3 xxx

          1. Had dinner with friend Debby.. just off to bed.. catch up in the morning..hugs ♥

          2. Will do Sal. <3 Sleep tight! xx

    2. Thanks, Sal. That’s a fairly long time by any standard, for a divorce. Mine took several years as well. I think people just don’t count on the legal battle it can become. It’s so important to choose your battles in this process, otherwise it truly is never-ending and bank breaking.

      1. I was thankful there were no children or property and I do feel for both parents when that is the case. Great post Lisa and if you would like to promote your books over here then please let me know at sally.cronin@moyhill.com

        1. Thanks so much Sal for your warm invite to Lisa. It will be great to see her over at your place <3 xx

        2. Thank you, Sal. That’s a kind offer! I’ll be in touch.

  5. I’m on the edge of my seat with that excerpt, Lisa. Your blog must be a haven for so many women. And how wonderful that you’ve published your posts. It’s lovely to meet you. Thanks so much for introducing Lisa to us, Deb. Another of your outstanding features ❤

    1. Thanks so much for reading T, and so glad you could get to know a little about Lisa. <3

      1. Welcome, Deb. I love her smile 🙂 ❤️

    2. Oh, I’m so glad to hear that, Tina. I was hoping it would create suspense. Lovely to meet you too, Tina and i recognize you from here at Deb’s and a few other blogs.

      1. I recognize you too, Lisa. So nice to converse a little 🙂 ❤

  6. Great post, great message. Kudos!

    1. Thank you Christoph 🙂 xx

  7. Lovely to see Lisa here. Thank you Deb, for highlighting the books of Lisa, they undoubtedly carry a wealth of information for those who encounter the darkest corridors…what a friendly relief Lisa’s words provide! I have been happily married yet I have found Lisa’s blog speaking to me as she talks about human relationships in the most poignant manner.

    Loved that gripping excerpt from your latest story book Lisa…I hope Kora escapes unscathed. Stay blessed ladies. 🙂

    1. Thanks for visiting Balroop. Yes, Lisa is a wealth of info not just for divorced people but those who want to understand better their relationships. 🙂 x Happy weekend.

    2. Thank you, Balroop for your support and as always, kind words. xxoo

  8. This books sounds like an incredible resource for women. What a wonderful thing for Lisa to share her experience, knowledge and information. I really wish this had been around when I went through divorce also. I am sure that so many will benefit from it.

    1. Thanks Lana. You are so right, through the years people are empowered to share their stories instead of staying silent. We have much to learn from each other. 🙂

    2. Thank you, Lana. So true that, not so long ago, there weren’t voices from the women going through this. Instead there were therapists books, etc. I hoped to bring some “real advice from the trenches”. 🙂

  9. Powerful post from Lisa. Thanks for sharing, Deb.

    1. Thank you Jan. 🙂

  10. I’ve been reading Lisa’s blog for a few years now, and her advice has helped me put my own divorce in perspective a few times. I’m also honored to have critiqued the short stories i her upcoming collection.

    1. Oh, what a wonderful compliment for Lisa, Jeri. There’s nothing like hearing from a reader who can attest to Lisa’s helpful information. 🙂 xx

    2. Thanks for your lovely comment, Jeri! Your editing has done wonders for my work 🙂 I have learned plenty from you regarding fiction writing. Getting close to publish ready.

  11. I’m a fan of Lisa’s work and I’m really glad you gave her the spotlight here!

    And Lisa, my heart is pounding reading your story segment. I want to know the rest!!

    1. Thank you Christine. I’m with you on Lisa’s writing. That’s why I wanted to have her over here to share what she’s all about. 🙂

      1. Deb, thank you so much for having me. It’s been so fun connecting with your peeps and seeing some of mine here. I’m delighted in your giving me a spotlight here in your space and truly grateful for your support.

        1. It was a thrill to have you and your readers over. I’m so glad new readers got to learn about you and what you write about.Cheers my Canadian friend! 🙂 xx

    2. Thank you, Chris! This story is a bit intense. Kora is one of my characters that really kept me working on the whole collection when I felt like quitting. I couldn’t give up on her. Her story will inspire many I think.

  12. Fascinating interview, Debby. I appreciate your questions. It is good to see Lisa’s blog is about relationship and life problems, not just divorce. That will give it wider appeal.

    1. Thanks for your comment Norah. Yes, that’s what’s great about Lisa’s blog, it cover the issues surrounding what stems around marital issues. So glad you enjoyed. 🙂

      1. You’re welcome, Lisa.

  13. Fantastic interview, Debby and Lisa. I can see why your topics hit home for so many people. That excerpt, while frightening, makes a reader want to know more instantaneously. Good luck with the release of the new short story book, Lisa. And, congrats on the two other ones.

    1. Thanks so much Liesbet. I’m so glad you enjoyed learning about Lisa. 🙂

    2. Thanks so much, Liesbet. Your feedback is much appreciated 🙂

  14. I like that Lisa wants to share real stories to help women, whether they are navigating divorce or another relationship issue. I’m all for helping women, as you know, Debby 😉 Great interview!

    1. Oh, I know well Christy. I knew this post would resonate with you. 🙂 xx

      1. Yes! I’m going to include it in my Friday roundup post. I know many women will want to read the interview, as well as connecting with you and Lisa.

        1. Oh wow. Thank you so much Christy. <3 You know I'll be by to visit. :) xx

    2. Thanks, Christy! Power to women and helping one another 🙂

  15. WOW, Deb – what an important resource to share with all of us. Thank you.

    Lisa, I still have chill-bumps from your excerpt. It is so difficult to decide when to leave – and I think far too many women stay too long, especially when physical violence is not part of the equation. Clearly the protagonist of this story needs to find some way to get out NOW – but how? I felt her fear.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

    1. So glad you popped over M. Glad you could get to know Lisa here. Yes, her new novel excerpt certainly left us hanging as she drew us into the situation. <3 xx

      1. Like I said – I’m shaking again as I recall it.

        btw – you just got another reblog on your self-esteem Guest Post.
        xx,
        mgh

        1. Wow, so glad that post is still going strong! I”ll pop by again. 🙂 <3

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