I’m reblogging Sally Cronin’s new series at her Smorgasbord where Sally forages through our archives and chooses a post to share on her blog. Sally kicked off the series with my post about names and the varied mispronunciations.
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Welcome to the new series of Posts from Your Archives and I will be sharing posts from the SECOND six months of 2023 from your archives.
If you wish to be included the information is at the the end of the following post which is from the previous series, and shows you what it will look like.
In this first post by D.G. Kaye, she explores how her names have resulted in some energetic tongue twisting….
What’What’s in a name? Better yet, why are some names so confusing for some people to pronounce, no matter how simple?s in a name? Better yet, why are some names so confusing for some people to pronounce, no matter how simple?
What’s in a name? Better yet, why are some names so confusing for some people to pronounce, no matter how simple?
Do you know anyone for almost a lifetime who still doesn’t know how to spell your name?
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How about having a four-letter last name that people cannot only not spell correctly, but also mispronounce? Even better, my first name is spelled wrong by over 90% of people who formally correspond with me, that would be Debby, not Debbie.
Ya, that be me. And to think that all through my school years – elementary through high school, when I’d cringe at roll calls because it seemed no teacher of mine ever seemed to know how to pronounce my last name back then too. I used to dream about the day I’d marry to kick away my maiden name to one that someone could say correctly – or spell for that matter.
Back in the school days, my family name was Kushnir. This is pronounced ‘Kush – as cushion, nir – as in nerd without the d’. But sadly, I never heard it pronounced correctly. It always sounded like ‘Kush – as in, rhymes with lush, and nir – as in, rhymes with fear’. I could never wrap my head around it, especially from teachers, I would have expected better. So everyday at roll call I’d suck it up and prepare for humiliation as the letter K approached. The kids who found it funny would think of some more embarrassing versions and rhymes – like ‘tush’. I’d dream of the day I could change my name, but never figured four simple letters would be a condundrum for so many.
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So, I get married, and happily take on what I thought was my husband’s simple and short last name. I thought, alas, a simple four-letter name. Not. It turns out, the last name Gies is a puzzle or a mouthful for many. . . please visit Sally’s blog for the conclusion.
Late November I posted about my having to cave in and upgrade my mobile phone, and my billing issues. I feel like I’m so inundated with everything technical that I just try to do the least on my phone. I don’t even open emails on my phone, except if I’m in an airport in case there’s notifications from the airlines while I’m awaiting a delayed flight. My old phone had a great camera and I used minimal of its capabilities, I’m sure. On my new Samsung, one of the high points was some special camera that has three lenses on it. I didn’t get into the specifics of its capabilities until my niece and grand niece came over this past Sunday.
I am no pro photographer but I love taking pictures. And I noticed sometimes my phone taking multiple pictures at once. I erased them all one by one and thought, come on, there has to be a quicker way to get rid of these in one swoop in today’s newest phones. So I asked my niece (the phone and tech wizard) to have a look at my camera and tell me what all the options were. This stuff wasn’t on my other phone. So I learned some cool things to do with pictures now, which I can’t wait to play with when I go to Mexico. And in case some of you have newer -ish phones and also may not be aware of the capabilities, I thought I’d share some things I learned from my niece . . .
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Burst mode – so I learned why when I took one photo, several shots appeared. Apparently, by holding down the button to take a photo for a few seconds, creates a burst of many photos for us to choose from and a one touch on the button to erase the ones we don’t want. Hence, I must have held the button too long when I got ten of the same photo. Another great thing about burst mode is that you can use it to take selfies with. This way you have many images to look through to choose the one you like best – as opposed to taking many over and over, hoping to find a good one.
Night mode – as opposed to regular mode and it using auto flash, brings a beautiful clear picture in dark situations. It enhances the main focus of the photo, making the focus brighter, despite the darkness.
My niece did a demo for me in night mode vs. flash mode, what a difference! She also wrote caption demo with her finger. Both shots were taken from inside with the view from my balcony:
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Portrait mode – taking a photo and the main object focus is brought to the focus and the forefront of the photo.
Panoramic mode – so cool, so I click on panoramic then pan around the room or outside anywhere as though I’m videoing, but I’m just panning the perimetres and then the whole scan turns into one picture with everything I panned into one photo. This most definitely is a great aide for people in real estate or renting air bnbs to show the rental unit. So cool.
Director’s View – The even cooler thing! So we click on this mode and it becomes a split screen, where the smaller square you see your own face (almost like a selfie mode) and in the larger area you see what’s behind the camera. It’s perfect for doing a Youtube video. And also very cool that you can edit and add text with type or handwritten on the photos.
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Who knows, I may even become a pro photographer with this new phone! And if any of you are not as inclined as I am to learn all the fun things on our phones, maybe take a look at your camera options, you may be pleasantly surprised like me!
Humor. It’s the thing that always got me by in life. The love of my life was my husband. I like to say I married him because he made laugh, but even with that truth, it was so much more than that. With my Puppy, I learned the true definition of what unconditional love meant – something I’d never experienced in my life prior to him.
Until I met my husband, no other man could make me laugh like he did. In fact, laughter was my own avenue through life. Being a self-conscious child, teen and young adult, I made it my business to be a funny girl because laughter could mask so many scars and aches.
I felt my flaws as I grew and I learned from a young age that if I could make people laugh with me it may deter them from laughing at me.
As the years passed and I learned how to grow my self-esteem and make myself proud of myself, I no longer worried about being laughed at. And as I came into myself, I learned I was actually quite funny and that I no longer had to use humor to make up for what I felt were my shortcomings and flaws.
I was the funny one in my circles. I think in most of my romantic relationships it was my good sense of humor that attracted people to me. And deep down inside, no matter people’s issues, they love to laugh. But it was always me creating the laughter in all my romantic relationships; it was as though I always got involved with men who were somewhat broken in some sense of their lives, despite their profession or standing in society. My attraction to wanting to fix people followed me through my childhood, always feeling I could help my father win back my mother so he wouldn’t feel so broken. But that was until I met my husband. The first man in my life who could make me laugh and didn’t need fixing.
Other than some good times and particular incidents that were funny in other relationships, I hadn’t experienced laughter daily until I met my Puppy. Even when something had brought me down, my hubby would always remind me of the brighter side of life. Sure he had his share of ups and downs in life like anyone else, but he had a special way of getting through and past things without harboring his wounds.
My Puppy was the first true love of my life. He loved me through all my war wounds unconditionally. We laughed our way through a most beautiful life together until god put a stop to it and took him for himself. Grief is an extension of love. The more you loved, the more you will grieve. The hardest part about grief is learning exactly how to live with it. 💔
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I recently did a podcast interview with Rebecca Budd of Tea Toast & Trivia. She wanted to discuss with me the day-to -day things a griever encounters, how and what do people say to a griever, and more. Please join us and listen in on our conversation, and please feel free to leave your thoughts.
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Welcome to Tea, Toast and Trivia
Thank you for listening in
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I am your host Rebecca Budd, and I look forward to sharing this moment with you.
I am delighted that blogger, non-fiction writer, memoir author and podcaster, Debby Gies and I are connecting Toronto and Vancouver, Canada.
Debby is a Canadian author, writing under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She writes about real life and the events that she has had to navigate through and overcome. Her intent is to inspire others by sharing her stories and the lessons that have come along with them.
In her podcast “Grief – The Real Talk”, Debbie speaks from the heart and from personal experience. She takes listeners through the painful journey of her grief after losing the love of her life, sharing her observations about the changes that occur during the grieving process.
I invite you to put the kettle on and add to this profound and moving conversation on Tea Toast & Trivia.
Thank you for joining Debby and me on Tea Toast & Trivia.
And a special thank you, Debby, for sharing your insights on grieving. Losing a loved one is an inevitable part of life. It is a deeply emotional and challenging experience that requires careful consideration.
It’s Christmas Shameless promotion time! And it’s a busy time of year for most. So,here we go!
Is it extra shameless to share some new-er book reviews that I came across for my books at the same time I want to wish you all happy holidays? I hope not. But besides the thrill it is to receive each and every good review for our books, I also like to showcase the wonderful writers who’ve taken the time to read and review my books, as well as treasured regular readers. I know well how many good books we all have on our bottomless readers, and how easily it is for them to sneak down the pipe as we continue to squash in new books that catch our eye and attention. So I am always grateful when I learn another person has plucked out one of my books and enjoyed – and took the time to review.
Without any further ado, I hope you enjoy these reviews 💜
This book is a collection of stories about some of Kaye’s first-time experiences with life’s most natural events. Told through the intimate conversational writing we’ve come to know from this author, poignant personal steppingstones to learning moments are revealed. She encompasses the heart of each matter with sincerity and sprinkled inflections of humor.
From first kiss to first car to walking in the desert with four-inch heels, Kaye’s short coming-of-age stories take us through her awakenings and important moments of growth, often without warning. Some good and some not, life lessons are learned through trial and error, winging it, and navigating by the seat of her pants.
Robbie’s Review:
Fifteen First Times is a memoir of fifteen significant moments in the author’s life. It is a very entertaining book as most of the experiences are fairly universal for women so I could easily relate to the author’s emotions, anxieties, and joys. It was enlightening to read about the same experiences I had in the author’s different environment and lifestyle. Such experiences are so huge and often devastating when they occur, but when we look back on them, they really weren’t that awful after all. Hindsight definitely helps in life.
My favourite story was when the author had a small accident in her father’s car as a result of a defiant response to her grandfather’s spoken and non-verbal critisism of her driving. I had a similar experience but I did a lot more damage to my mom’s car and I’ve also never forgotten it. I got such a horrible shock at the time.
The author’s experiences travelling as a young woman were intriguing for me. I was quite sheltered by my father and never did anything like she describes. It certainly helped her achieve independence and learn some important life lessons.
Fifteen First Times is a wonderful way to remember the highlights of young life from a humorous and witty perspective.
When I read D. G. Kaye’s books, I always get the impression I’m having a conversation with the author. In her latest, Fifteen First Times, the author once again gets up close and personal.
In fifteen chapters, Debby discloses her love affair with shoes, close encounters with boys, the fright of her first menstrual period, the glory of travel and much more. Brimming with chutzpah, the author divulges also how she engineered Christmas cheer in a home where Hanukkah was respected.
The vignettes come with lessons learned, takeaways for readers: “My big European vacation taught me many lessons about life—friendship, flirting, culture, how ridiculous I must have looked wearing four-inch spikes in the desert, consequences for not obeying laws, and how much my father had spoiled me.”
Growing up with a narcissistic mother, we are thankful for the presence of dear Aunt Sherry and a devoted Dad. As expected, the book concludes with an homage to her beloved husband: “My G was the first true love of my life. He loved me through all my war wounds unconditionally. We laughed our way through hard times and shared a most beautiful life together.”
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, but most of all you will be able to relate to Debby Gies’ coming of age memoir and conclude with the author that “hindsight gives us insight.” This brief book with a stunning cover by Unicorn Cats Publishing gets five stars.
Fifteen First Times is Kaye’s delightful memoir. It feels like chatting with her about life over a cup of coffee. Some of her experiences remind me of my first times. These stories could be common to some people, but they are unique to Kaye. Some stories are cute, some serious, some happy, and some sad.
One cute story was that Kaye’s father gifted her a trip to Europe as her eighteenth birthday present. She had a fascination with shoes. She wore 4” spike high heels, carrying oversized luggage on her trip. I could visualize her dragging her luggage, trailing behind a group of young folks who were hopping and skipping in front of her. Her great outgoing personality came to her rescue. She made friends with the tour guides who always looked out for her. In Rome, Ricardo, the tour guide, carried her luggage to her room.
The story I considered as serious was about Kaye’s first boyfriend. At seventeen, she met a singer, Tony, at the nightclub. They seemed to click right away. She listened to Tony every Friday night and spent time together afterward. Tony would pick her up in his red Dodge on a date. She thought it was real love. Tony’s friend broke the bad news to her that his parents had pre-arranged his marriage.
One happy story was about Christmas. Kaye loved Christmas and all the decorations, toys, Santa, and reindeer. But they didn’t have a Christmas tree at their house. Her mother said, “Jewish people don’t have Christmas trees.” When she moved away from home, the first thing she wanted was her own Christmas tree. She was so excited that she “went overboard” with decorations.
The sad story that made me cry was about her best friend Al. Al was a happy-go-lucky friend, divorced, with two children. She jokingly said her painful leg might not support her body one day. Kaye and another best friend didn’t pay attention initially. By the time Al went to the doctor, she was diagnosed with a tumor close to her spine. Surgery couldn’t take care of it. It went downhill at a fast speed. She was put in hospice. Kaye wanted to visit her, but Al’s daughter said her mom was gone. Kaye mourned for her friend of her own age and realized “death has no age limits.”
Kaye wrote a beautiful tribute to her late husband, who was her first real love and will remain the greatest love of her life. I recommend this book to memoir lovers.
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Reading Through the Soul: Words We Carry By D. G Kaye
“Words We Carry” by DG Kaye is an emotional read. You will be able to relate to this book in one way or another. It is a wonderful trumpet read.
“Words We Carry” by DG Kaye is a thought-provoking and insightful book that explores the impact of words on our self-esteem and personal identity. In this memoir, Kaye shares her own experiences growing up with a mother who constantly criticized her appearance and how these words affected her self-image and confidence.
The book is broken down into several chapters, each focusing on a different aspect of our relationship with words. Kaye delves into various topics such as the influence of childhood experiences, the power of negative words, and the importance of self-acceptance. She offers personal anecdotes and relatable stories that make the book engaging and relatable.
One of the strongest aspects of “Words We Carry” is Kaye’s candid and honest writing style. She openly shares her vulnerabilities and traumas, making the reader feel a deep connection with her. Her writing is accessible and easy to follow, making the book suitable for readers from all walks of life.
Kaye also provides practical advice and helpful tips for overcoming the negativity and self-doubt caused by hurtful words. She encourages readers to develop a strong sense of self and teaches them how to surround themselves with positive influences.
Overall, “Words We Carry” is a compelling and empowering read that sheds light on the often overlooked issue of the impact of words on our self-esteem. It serves as a reminder that the words we use towards ourselves and others hold great power and can shape our lives in profound ways. Kaye’s personal journey and insightful observations make this book a valuable resource for anyone who has struggled with self-esteem and wants to start the journey towards self-acceptance and self-love.
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Words We Carry
Lizzy
5.0 out of 5 stars Relatable, validating, and very well written Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2023
Verified Purchase
This is the first book I’ve read by D.G. Kaye, but as soon as I read the first few pages, I knew it wouldn’t be the last. There was so much I could identify with in the blurb, so on a whim, I downloaded it.
The issue of self-esteem, which the author speaks so knowingly about, is one that affects more people than I believe most of us even realize. Low self-esteem manifests itself in many ways and that can make it more difficult for some to see. Yet, I believe it visits a preponderant number of people at some point in their lives, if not throughout. Reading this book was like talking to a new friend and sharing common experiences. Kaye’s uplifting yet honest writing style makes it very easy to turn the pages.
Even with the issues that I hadn’t personally experienced, I knew many who did (and still do), and I really appreciated Kaye’s down-to-earth approach to examining these issues and offering simple, relatable advice for those seeking to better their lives. As I especially connected to some aspects of the author’s relationship with her mother, I’m absolutely planning to read her book Conflicted Hearts. Our situations, while very different, are also very similar in ways.
Kaye discusses subjects in this book that took me back years and also resonated with me in the present. There are many reasons that I would recommend this book. Not only do I appreciate the common-sense advice, but I believe the author’s words are extraordinarily validating and will help many who feel alone in their pain. This book is also beautifully written. Excellent.
This book is a gem, a book that all couples planning to marry or already married should read. Personally, I found every word truthful. Why? My husband and I built our relationship on a strong foundation of friendship first, then love came along. Kaye writes about making sure the foundation your relationship is built is secure, secure enough to withstand anything, and everything thrown at it so the foundation doesn’t form a crevice. Part of a piece of mortar can fall off, but be right there and prepare it ASAP. Those couples who have a great foundation can weather any and all storms tossed at them. There will be many storms amid times of splendor, and if your foundation is strong, you will survive each and come out stronger and more in love than you thought possible. I know. I have this in my life. Without that strong foundation, we wouldn’t have made it, or if we did make it, the hard times would have been much worse. Both my husband and I’ve had desperate life-threatening issues, and each time, our love grew stronger. Even if you don’t think you can love a person more, that your heart already overflows, we find out how much more we love each other. Five stars.
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I am grateful for all the lovely reviews and hope you enjoyed. You can check out all my books on Amazon.
I want to take this moment to wish you all a beautiful Christmas and festive season. And hope you will all share with me for good wishes to all. I wish for the world to find a peace, revisit their hearts, look for the truth, and to keep our heartlights in the on position. May 2024 be a better year for everyone, and don’t forget to keep your dreams in the forefront to bring them to fruition.
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Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy and Healthy New Year! 💜
Welcome to my September edition of best curated tips for authors and bloggers. In this edition, Diana Peach on Tightening Prose, Hugh Roberts with useful hidden WordPress Tools and How to Clean Out WordPress Spam, Anne R. Allen shares the Latest Author/Writer Scams, and what Amazon is doing to author’s book pages, and Staci Troilo shares her formula for writing Loglines.
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Diana Peach is at the Story Empire, sharing how to eliminate filter words
What would you do if you found A.I. created a book and slapped your name on it? Attention authors!
I was alerted to this post by Jane Friedman from a newsletter I follow from the Kindlepreneur. I’ve shared many of Dave Chesson’s helpful publishing tools and tips in my monthly curated Writer’s Tips. In fact, I included his Reader Scout tool, which he offers free to us, and besides all the benefits of this tool, Dave says it would also come in handy to track our books for wonky issues, such as piracy – both, the people kind, and the A.I. kind, as well as all the other data it helps keep track of for our books.
Unfortunately, Jane Friedman had the terrible experience of having her writing reworked with A.I. with her name listed as the author, and shares about her nightmare in the post below. She went through hair-raising hoops trying to deal with Amazon to take the books off her author page with her name listed as author, but they were not her books!!!
While I was surfing around on the topic, I came across this must watch video if you are an author. Dale Roberts teaches us what to look for and how to sniff out questionable things about our books for potential Amazon pirates and scammers.
It’s that time again for a shameless promotion. I’m happy to share some of the new reviews that have come in for Fifteen First Times. As authors, we know that every new sterling review we receive for our books is like a tonic of feel good when we know our writing has connected with readers. I also enjoy sharing reviews to give the reviewers some recognition for taking the time to leave their thoughts after reading. So with no further ado . . .
I so enjoyed reading these snapshots of D. G. Kaye’s life, growing up in the 1960s, 70s and 80s – partly because I discovered that she is just two months older than me, so it’s a world I know about … mostly!*
I love the conversational aspect of the essays; the way Kaye writes is so readable, so down-to earth that it’s like she’s talking just to you, from the first kiss to the first love, to the first car and apartment, and, more seriously, the first bereavement of someone her own age. This one was so heartrending that I found myself missing Alba too, a woman I know only from this one short story.
I think the piece that made me smile and nod the most was the ‘first diet’ – years of yo-yo dieting and obsession with what is put in one’s mouth, the bane of many a young (and not so young) woman’s life. The daft things you try to lose weight. Definitely a generational thing; I remember my mother (born in the 1920s) telling me that when she was a young woman, you were just the shape you were, and you didn’t give it a great deal of thought. Before advertising got serious!
Anyway, this is great, definitely recommend it to anyone. It’s not that long; you could probably read it in a couple of afternoons. Ideal for a nice bit of holiday reading, too 🙂
I’ve always enjoyed D.G. Kaye’s conversational writing style. This book is no exception to her honest and entertaining narrative. She has compiled a collection of ‘firsts’ from her teen years relatable to all readers. I felt so at ease that I read this collection in one sitting, feeling like we were comfortably chatting over a glass of wine. These memories invited me to stroll down memory lane, recalling crazy crash diets, first kiss, first boyfriend, and first broken heart that felt like it would never mend. Her amusing fascination with shoes made me chuckle; how she managed those heels is beyond me. I laughed out loud when I read about the first hair dye episode. Her first car was a Ford Mustang given by her wonderful father, and while my first car wasn’t, her story evoked memories of when I bought a blue Mustang a few years later with equal excitement.
Kaye’s anecdotes are witty, engaging, and poignant. She has no trouble sharing her vulnerability. Low self-esteem plagued her in those years, but with her outgoing personality and wild sense of fashion, she rose above it, growing into the confident woman she is today. Being a teenager isn’t easy. Those years are about finding ourselves, figuring out who we are, and Kaye succeeded with spirit!
Kaye ends the collection with an emotive tribute to her late husband, her only true love. My heart still aches for her loss. She writes in her dedication, “To those who’ve been there, done that, and learned from. And for those who’ve yet to venture out and overcome.” She couldn’t have expressed the purpose of this delightful book any better. Highly recommended for anyone who enjoys a heartwarming memoir and a stroll down memory lane.
I might be in my sixth decade of life, but DG Kaye’s memoir, Fifteen First Times, brings me blissfully back in time as if I were reliving my youth. She includes tender moments, budding independence, and painful firsts. I felt as if I were sitting across the couch from Kaye, sipping crisp white wine and exchanging stories of our beloved but challenging past.
She draws you in with our commonalities as women, from our first love to menstruation, a hysterical shoe obsession, bad hair decisions, first apartments, and broken hearts. As I read through each story, I laughed, cried, and empathized with Kaye’s Fifteen Firsts. It is a bold, funny, and touching read about life’s endearing moments. An enchanting novel for fans of delightful memoirs.
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Reviewed by Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes on their blog, and Amazon below.
I share many memories of my first times with Debby and the most memorable for me, was my first car and learning to drive it. This was my first taste of independence and I loved every minute of being behind the wheel.
For The love of Shoes
Shoes struck a different note with me, however, as being tall, I apparently have rather large feet. Finding shoes that fit has always been a nightmare for me.
First and Last Love
Although I share many of Debby’s Fifteen First Times, I never did find the love of my life, although there were plenty of almosts. I am envious of the love she shared with G and very sad that she must mourn him with every single day…
This intriguing book is so many of our lives in a nutshell…
We have all had our firsts in life; first kiss, first love, first death etc. These events are typically unforgettable and shape who we are. This easy-to-read, relatable collection of short stories brings our own firsts to mind. Reading a book written by D.G. Kaye is like having a chat with a good friend, reminiscing about the past and sharing tears and laughter. I enjoyed reading about the author’s European trip as a naive and enthusiastic teenager, her excitement of moving into her own place and the horror of a hair-dying disaster! An enjoyable read along with a loving tribute to her dear husband.
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Art Gown Designer Resa McConaghy at Graffiti Lux Art & More
Welcome to my July Edition of my best curated Writer’s Tips including – How Not to Start a Novel, Fixing Dialogue Tags by Anne R. Allen, Hugh Roberts with some new blog tips on How to Add Mastodon to your social media share buttons on your blogs, Jacqui Murray with some quick computer fixes, Deborah Jay with some new and helpful A.I. tools, Copyright Infringement help by Kathy Steinemann.
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Deborah Jay has a post about some useful A.I. Apps for Writers
DGKayewriter.com 