A few weeks ago I wrote a post here promoting The Womens Empowering Summit. This summit is hosted by divorce coach Heather Debreceni. In the summit, Heather interviewed 23 certified experts who spoke about the topic of women going through divorce and how to handle the children who tend to get caught in the crossfire. I was ecstatic when Heather chose me, an author, to add to her esteemed panel of interviewees.
Heather found me while doing a search on the subject and she came across my book Conflicted Hearts, my memoir on growing up in an emotionally unstable home and living with guilt from a narcissistic mother.
You can listen to the live interview by pressing the play button here:
In our interview I discuss the turmoil a child can have to endure while growing up in a broken home when parents tend to get so wrapped up in their own conflicts and forget to tend to their children’s emotional needs.
Please feel free to listen to the interview and come back here and comment, or perhaps leave me a question. This is my first public interview, and I have to admit, I still have my stage fright even though I wasn’t on camera. It was a great experience, both emotionally fulfilling, and a step into speaking publicly.
D.G.Kaye ©May 2015 dgkayewriter.com
DGKayewriter.com 
I loved hearing your voice! And you were so smooth! You could be on the View!! And what an informative interview! Every parenting class should be required to listen to it! So good!
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Wow! Thanks so much Di for taking the time to listen and for your compliments. I was so worried how I would come across, so that is validating from you. ❤
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I’ve loved your mild voice and charming Canadian accent… 🙂 you’ve stated some common sense truths on family bonds: I totally agree with you, Miss Kaye… last but not least: you’re a “combattante de la vie”, not a survivor!!! admiration and respect, my very best and bonne continuation! heartfelt thoughts, Mélanie
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Wow! Thanks so much Mel for taking the time to listen to the interview. I’m humbled by your feedback. And yes, I may be a ‘combattante de la vie,’ but I have also survived a few life-threatening illnesses. So, surely that has to count? ❤
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Oooh… I had better go listen, will be back later.. 🙂
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Oh yay, I’m excited for your wise feedback! 🙂
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Wow,… loved listening, and I am still listening as I type.. We said we mirrored many things.. I so recognise the issues with your Mother.. I can so relate to what you said.. My own experience is similar.. In that we were constantly in turmoil via the uncertainties of my parents relationship.. Up and down, fighting, shouting, sometimes violence.. one minute and loving the next.. Mother always threatening us.. and talk about taking sides.. LOL.. Yes we always had to be on her side of an argument, or we soon got to know about it..
That was partly the reason why she stopped speaking after she finally did divorce for I wouldn’t stop going to see Dad.. ( I had left home by the time they did divorce ) And I got the ” I am Your MOTHER! “..
An amazing listen… right going back to finish listening now..
Many thanks for sharing and nice to hear your voice 🙂 .. Hugs your way.. xxx Sue
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Wow! Thanks for listening Sue. I knew when we connected we shared that all too familiar bond with our childhoods. I think it’s wonderful that so many writers are speaking out about such issues now, no longer suppressing, and spreading the message for children everywhere. ❤
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You are so so right in saying to make a clean break.. and not stay together for the sake of the children.. It did me no favours except to make sure I treated my children with respect and watched what I said in front of them..
That is why I get so protective with my granddaughter as I see how my Son and Daughter-in-law talk and how it affects a four year olds emotions.. Which I see as a support worker perspective holds so much potential for behavioural issues in the future..
I am listening to the bit where you are thinking are you worthy… as your dad said ‘Pretty Ugly” Words wound and stay with us.. My dad used to always press me in the middle of the shoulder blades, as I would slouch.. He had a spell in the Army in the Scott Guards .. a very regimental regiment. So life could at times be very rigid and strict..
Confidence was never a strong point until as I was a parent myself, Looking back I know I made mistakes also.. but I learnt a lot from the mistake of my parents.. 🙂
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Like I said, people have to realize, children are like sponges. They absorb and retain until it is squeezed out, or forever remains soaked in. We are blessed Sue, we could realize the damage and turn out different. Unfortunately, there are many who cannot escape their demeaned childhoods and remain a product of them. 🙂
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Yes only all too true and its heartbreaking when you think about how many children are still suffering.
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Hopefully our words will be heard and make some others understand. 🙂
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I wrote an Angel letter to my Mother too 🙂 and I burnt it.. 🙂 and then went to self help books… 🙂 And my love of books came from a wonderful English teacher who showed me some compassion.. as she saw ME .. 🙂 I was the eldest of 5 so I was never ‘seen’ at home only the work-horse to look after others.. 🙂
Loved listening Deb… Great advice… from you and Heather.. 🙂
xxx ❤
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Like I said Sue, we are kindred spirits. Very similar paths. Books helped me. And the kindness of two remembered teachers of mine in grade school, fed my desire to be accepted and appreciated. ❤ I too am the eldest, go figure! 🙂
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LOL… 🙂 yes ‘go figure’ but we turned out all right in the end 🙂 And I am sure in hindsight we are all the stronger for the road we travelled.. even though we had a rocky start.. 🙂 mega Hugs xxx ❤
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You know what they say. . . ‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!’ ❤
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Very true 🙂
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Thank you for sharing this. Today is a gardening day before the rain and I ran inside to take a break and read a few blogs. It’s also a recovery day so I’m not listening to anything to give my New York City addled body a break. I’ll be back. Congratulations on your interview. I’m sure you did a fine job and I’ll find out soon.
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Thanks so much Elaine. Yes, take it easy, you certainly deserve a time out! ❤
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Debby, this is a fabulous interview. You could be an ambassador for bringing up happy, secure children. Your voice is a comforting and trusting one. It was nice to hear it.
I also enjoyed how Heather Debreceni re-iterated your words and adding her own insights.
Although my mother was quite the opposite of being a narcissist she was a very lonely, withdrawn child/woman but like you, I never could get inside my mother which frustrated and saddened me. I always hated the distance.
As usual, you share wonderful tips on how to heal childhood wounds to move on and how to raise a child in a happy environment.
Debby, I’m always so impressed with your strength and your candidness. 🙂
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Thank you so much Carol for taking the time to listen here and share your valuable and welcome feedback. I also thank you for sharing a personal statement here about your own mother/daughter experience.
This was my first live interview, and certainly I could have done without several ‘ums’, but I suppose that’s the nature of the beast when talking live.
I’m glad you found my voice resonates with who I am here online and in real time; that is validating.
I really hope my words do get shared to those who’s lives can use some of the feedback of someone who has lived through these turbulent times.
Heather is a wonderful interviewer, and I look forward to hearing you speak on your interview with her. 🙂
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I loved listening to you … beautiful voice… I´ll come back to listen to the whole interview in depth as woefully got to head out to work right now…
Hugs dear D.G Aquileana 😀
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I’m glad you got a chance to listen Aq. I remember how nice it was to listen to your little video awhile back. ❤
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Awesome. Thanks for posting the interview. It’s always so nice to add a voice to the face. Hugs!
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Thank you so much Teagan. You’re right about adding a voice. I suppose that’s why so many writers have jumped on the podcast wagon. Definitely something I’m going to have to get involved with in the near future. 🙂
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