Writing brain

Why We Love Memoirs

Published on by dgkaye

I’m going to step out of my author box for a moment and disregard the fact that I too write memoirs. What is it about memoirs that attract readers – stories involving other people’s lives? It always fascinated me since I was a teenager about people and incidence. I didn’t have to be related to or friends with the people in these memoirs to be curious about their lives, their adventures, their situations and how they overcame them. Yet, once I began writing memoirs myself, my worrisome side kept nagging at me, why would anyone care about the things I experienced in my life when they didn’t even know me? Readers who have no connections to the writers, yet, are fascinated with memoirs. Why?

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Memoir may be a story about incidence in one person’s life, but its value is in the situations the book presents and lessons taken from, shared with readers who somehow identify with our stories. So many people can relate to memoirs because so many encounter same, or like, situations in their own lives, leaving them curious to learn how the memoirist grew from and resolved same issues. The writer doesn’t have to be famous in order for the reader to have interest. Sure, top traditionally published writers get so much more exposure, but that doesn’t mean their stories are superior to an Indie’s books. We all live lives. And if we can write our stories in an engaging way to take the reader in along with story, that is the magic.

Once upon a time, memoirs were much more in a niche category. One had to enjoy nonfiction, and not everybody was interested in the lives or happenings of people they didn’t know. I feel when more sensationalist ‘true’ stories, confessions, more daring on TV and talkshows, documentaries on any subject, all came along, people became more informed about real things that happen to people, and curiosities grew about wanting to find out more about the people they’d been hearing about. I also feel, as the world progressed and illnesses, abuse, sex, et al, became more prevalent in public, people became more fascinated and interested, and considered memoirs as more of self-help for their own issues. Issues that identified with things they themselves were or had experienced. I know it was like that for me. Curiosity grew as I was always an observant soul from as far back as I can remember.

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Many memoir readers have faced some sort of dilemma or adversity and look for stories as hope that it is possible for them to get resolution. There is hope. The authenticity of real life can be refreshing and compelling for readers seeking genuine stories and emotions. Besides the concept of the story, memoir is a personal telling, and it’s the voice of the author that dictates the mode of story.

Memoirs don’t always have to be serious. In fact, readers enjoy some injected humor to lighten the tone and narrative of story. Memoirs often provoke retrospection in the reader, causing them to reflect on their own situations, choices and beliefs.

We have much to learn from each other.

©DGKaye2024

71 thoughts on “Why We Love Memoirs”

  3. You are a masterful storyteller, Deb! 👌 As a reader and a writer, my preferred genre is non-fiction, especially biographies and memoirs. As you said, sometimes the reader can relate to an adverse situation, and it makes them feel they are not alone. Case in point: the books you wrote about your mother. As someone who had a similar dysfunctional childhood, I found much to identify with! And writing about my experiences lessened the weight of bad memories considerably.

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    1. Hi Deb. I am humbled at your kind words about my writing Deb. And it always makes me happy to learn that someone can identify or find something identifiable or helpful from my books. Thank you. ❤

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  5. A wonderful discussion, Debby. I agree wholeheartedly we can learn from each other. I think that is the best way to learn!! I admire Memoirists for their courage and honesty in allowing others to experience their moments. I enjoy your posts immensely.

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    1. Hi Rebecca. Thanks so much. You said it – it takes courage to write a memoir, especially when others are named and possible repercussions. Many memoirs, as some of my books, can very painful for a writer to relive as she writes. Hugs ❤

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  6. I enjoy reading memoirs as well. I guess it’s that age-old curiosity inside me/us! As a travel memoir writer, though, I struggled (and still do) with the “rule” that the protagonist has to overcome situations or grow throughout the narrative or that the reader needs to learn something by the end of the book. I don’t feel my Plunge did any of that, since it’s basically just a compelling account of a decade of my nomadic life and relationship.

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    1. Hi Liesbet. Yes, if the memoir focuses on a particular problematic theme, there should include some resolution. But your book, although a compelling accounting of your nomadic life, your stories demonstrated the ups and downs a nomadic traveler encounters and how you handled them. So there were resolutions. 🙂 ❤

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  7. When I think about it I am interested in the lives of lots of strangers, they could perhaps know a lot about me. They are the friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours of my friends and family. I have never met them, but over the years I have heard the latest stories about them, regular updates. Most of us are interested in life stories.

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    1. HI Janet. Exactly, curiosity is the interest, especially when we know something about these people, we are naturally intrigued to learn the whys and hows of their lives and situations. 🙂 x

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  8. You are right about the change in memoirs and their appreciation these days, although it is true that some old memoirs and even diaries that have seen the light years later make for very interesting reading. History is much more interesting when it is told from a human-size perspective, rather than focusing on big events, and battles. Thankfully we are more interested in these kinds of stories now. Thanks for your thoughtful article, Debby, and thanks for your memoirs.

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    1. Hi Olga. You are correct, We are always more intrigued of stories from the people these things directly happened to. It’s more personal, as though listening in on conversations. And I agree that some older books and memoirs have definitely came back to light as the world became more curious. Thanks for your lovely comment too Olga. Hugs ❤

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  9. You’re so right about this Debby! I too love memoirs and I think it’s a gift to everyone when people share them-:) we can always learn and grow learning from other’s lives🩷

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  10. I nodded all the way through this post, “Yes,” of course. Readers of my memoir that told me my story showed them that it is possible for them to get resolution as well.

    People naturally are curious about other people’s lives, and so many readers are drawn to memoir. I read many memoirs before I actually wrote my own, including some of yours!

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    1. Hi Marian. People are curious about other people and I feel the memoir category certainly became much more popular in last few decades. Like you, I enjoy reading memoirs and read plenty as well before dipping my toes into it. Yay for us! ❤

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  11. I enjoy reading about all sorts of people’s lives, biography and memoir, I find both fascinating.
    As a fiction writer I am fascinated by the human condition, it’s what informs my characters, and brings them to life. In a different life I would have liked to have studied psychology, but as I didn’t, reading about as many different people’s life experiences fills the gap.

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  12. You’ve raised some excellent points! Some of the most memorable writing I’ve encountered is through the work of unknown writers with personal stories to tell. The critique groups I’ve belonged to over the years, and the classes I now facilitate have introduced me to incredible stories that are poignantly told. They’ve taught me that memoirs are the best way we have to connect with one another through the written form.

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    1. Hi Debra. Wow, that’s high praise for memoir. And I so agree with you that memoirs are a great way to connect through writing. Thanks for visiting and glad you enjoyed. 🙂

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  13. One of my go-to genres. I’m fascinated by people and their lives. While I love fiction, I like to learn the reasons behind what makes someone tick. It’s one of the reasons I’ve enjoyed so many of your memoirs, Debby.

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  14. You have hit a nerve here, Debby. My goal is to write all the stories about my teaching – memoirs that are exciting and compelling and ultimately help parents and teachers. Much like my blog posts. I think everyone is drawn to a memoire of someone they like, be it a movie star, historian, or even a teacher. Yes, we have so much to learn from each other.

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      1. Hi Debby. Yes, it is long overdue. At the moment I’m polishing/rewriting/pulling my hair out on my children’s book – the most difficult writing, because few words are best, and every word counts. Two editors have given me great feedback, so I’m on a roll. That will be ready the end of July, to present at the annual conference for children’s book writers and illustrators (SCBWI). Then on to the memoire. 😀

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      2. Oh Wow Jennie! I am so happy for you, and the world could certainly use some books by you!!! I wish you much success on this hair-tearing journey. Lol, welcome to authordom. 🙂 ❤

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  15. I think this is an insightful post. It used to be that memoirs were only for celebrities. After all celebrities are special and worthy of memoirs, or so was the thinking. I think that is sometimes true but like you say ordinary people have amazing stories too and they may resonate more with average readers than celebrities do. At least it is that way for me. Also, I think that the experiences don’t have to be similar to your own, on the contrary, for me it is interesting to read about people who had totally different lives from me.

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    1. HI Thomas. Thanks for adding to the conversation. You add an excellent point here that I ovelooked the point that yes, many do enjoy memoirs just to learn about something totally different to them. 🙂

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  16. I have never been drawn to either writing my memoir or reading them although I did read the ones about your mother which were enlightening and well written…I’m boring and a nerd when it comes to reading /research although I have lightened over the last year…An interesting post and comments, Debs xx

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  18. Hi Debby, Thanks as ever, for all your wise and interesting words…As you know, I too wrote a Memoir and thoroughly enjoyed the process.

    Like you, even though I was shy, I have aways been fascinated by people and what makes them tick. We are all similar and yet so different…

    Staying curious about people and life keeps us from rusting! Add humour, and you’re on to a good thing.. as you know, Debs! Cheers. Joy x

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    1. Hi Joy. Thanks for popping by and sharing your thoughts and worthy advice with us – Curiosity keeps us from rusting – I love it!!! Big hugs to you xox

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  19. It’s been said everyone has at least one good book in them. My trouble with memoirs is how many of them are written, and how so many memoir authors pull punches, or look at the past, as we used to say in the video biz, “with vaseline on the lens.” A euphemism for “soft focus.” Which is why I can read language art memoirs and vignettes, say Sandra Cisneros, and those written as fiction like Eudora Welty, because the mighty I and Me tend to get over self-edited. I would, because I was in the music business for 45 years. Tales out of school and all that. I wouldn’t put “I” in a story about stopping a jam at famous person X’s house in San Rafael to roll a joint of lethal NorCal weed so X could watch Soul Train and someone walks out the front door, turns around too fast and faces out in X’s wife’s freshly planted begonias. But I have a character who would. So…I have read several Indie memoirs, probably from some commenting below, and found the best stories were the ones that came off like Welty.

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    1. Sounds like you have some great stories to tell Phil. I know a few authors who’d rather not ‘own it’ (their book in memoir), and write their truth in fiction. 🙂

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  20. This one line says it all, Debby: “The authenticity of real life can be refreshing and compelling for readers seeking genuine stories and emotions.” Yes, indeed! Thanks for sharing.

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  21. I finally figured out how to navigate back to your blog with one button. For some reason when I click on your name in the comments, that’s not been working. Sometimes after a lot of clicking around I get to where I am going.

    Love this topic and post. I agree with your thoughts on memoirs. I would like to add that I like them because they take me out of myself and into a place that feels relatable and intimate. I feel like I’m having a meaningful exchange reading a memoir, even though the author doesn’t even need to know me. 💗🤗

    It’s like getting a window into an “inside world” with plenty of time and space in between for both parties (author and reader) to let it unfold naturally. Memoirs make me feel connected to the greater whole.

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    1. Oh wow Ka, what a pain, thanks for your persistence, but I know, I have certain issues with some blogs, constantly too. And thank you for your most beautiful comment. Your words, any memoir writer can ever hope to hear from readers. Hugs ❤

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  24. Hi Debby – I prefer to read non-fiction … not necessarily heavy research type books … but ones I can relate to. Blogging is almost like memoir … my side of the family don’t have children – so I’m grateful I can join in here … and learn as I go. Interestingly I’ve just given a talk on George Stubbs, the horse artist, from the 1700s – he left no papers … just his drawings, engravings and paintings … so I was v grateful for 3 books – I’d been to an exhibition on him with ‘Whistlejacket’ centre stage … there’s a tiny book titled ‘A Memoir of George Stubbs’ by an artist, Ozias Humphry, of the 1700/1800s and an antiquarian, Joseph Mayer, 1800s – their papers on Stubbs were crafted into a memoir for our age. I need to read more about his work with the pottery Wedgwood – in another book of the 1950s. I’ve learnt loads from this one talk – I prompted myself to give! My latest post covers this … so memoir is so important for us all – in so many areas. Great post – and really interesting comments – cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary. Like you, I find nonfiction fascinating, learning about people of past and present. Thanks for sharing that bit of interesting history with us. We do love memoir. Hugs ❤

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  26. Hi Debby, I love reading memoirs (especially yours) and find what you said that memoirs are somewhat of a self-help. So true. I tend to read memoirs both for entertainment and inspiration.

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  27. What a beautiful explanation, Debby. I never really thought too in depth about why I enjoy reading memoirs, but I think you summed up my feelings exactly. I can definitely relate my interest in memoirs to my fascination with understanding how other people live and learning how they overcome their challenges. The human experience is so individual, and yet so simultaneously interconnected — a sentiment which memoirs seem to encapsulate perfectly.

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  28. Hi Debby, I don’t read a lot of memoirs but I have read some including several of your books. I am interested in people so I do enjoy most memoirs. A lovely post about the interest factors of reading about other peoples lives.

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    1. Hi Robbie. Thanks for adding to the conversation and mentioning my books. And I believe your book When The Bombs Fell, was a memoir with your mom? We are curious souls who have much to learn from others. ❤

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