I recently posted my newest podcast on Grief the Real Talk. I somehow missed May as it zoomed along and I was busy working on other things – and getting out into the sunshine. In this episode, I’m discussing the ‘real’ stages of grief. As I begin the post, I inform listeners that the original five stages of grief written by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying, were originally written for the patient given the terminal news. The actual stages of grief are a whole different kettle of fish. Yes, the five stages are definitely part of the grieving process too, but their are others. And today I’m discussing two big ones – Shock and Numbness, and Guilt. The latter is one that is a most difficult stage to pass through, and I openly admit, I’m far from digging out of.
As I know there are many who prefer not to think about end of life and what’s left behind, but inevitably, we are all going to experience it at some point in our lives. So for those of you who are curious to know all the things one can expect when we lose a loved one, as well as those who are now or still dealing with grief, I hope my Grief podcasts are helpful.
My new podcast is out this week for my Grief the Real Talk series. In this episode I’m discussing scammers who prey on the bereaved and how to dodge them.
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Also available on Soundcloud
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This grief business is eternal because the more you loved, the more you will grieve, a simple formula. The trick is learning to live with it differently and adjusting to daily life completely different from the one you were previously living. It's a life adjustment in a thousand different ways.
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I came across this picture of us recently and it made me smile remembering that very fun time in our marriage when life was carefree and happy for us with no medical issues.
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This photo I took when I visited our grave on my husband’s death anniversary on April 7th. I was blown away when I looked at it because there were, what a friend in Mexico had deemed, ‘Jesus Rays’ coming from the sky. Look at the rainbow rays over the gravestone. If you can enlarge this photo by pinching it, you can almost make out a figure in front through the rainbow colors. Perhaps an angel?
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Jesus Rays are a real thing. If you want to know more about Jesus Rays:
Two podcasts 6 and 7 are live now. Grief the Real Talk – Abandonment and Relationship Changes After Loss, and Condolences – What to Say and What Not to Say to Grievers. I also want to share the most amazing and concise speech about grief as explained by Dr. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD. And I’d also like to thank Judith Barrow, Diana Peach, Stevie Turner, Smitha Vishwanath and Lisa Thomson for their most lovely and recent reviews for my new book – Fifteen First Times.
I will commence podcasting again, end of March.
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Thanks to Marian Beaman emailing the link to this video of Dr. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD, bestselling author, talking the bare bones on grief at different ages.
Dr. Josefowitz talks about there being no right way to grieve, and about how Dr. Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief were originally written for the dying one, not the grievers. There is no law and order for a griever. Dr. J will tell us her own list of 7 emotional stages of grief, which is more like a griever’s life, no set pattern, many times revisiting, triggers, etc. This was like listening to me telling my life. Unreal. I am not alone. Everything she lived is me. So the good parts that she states, about when grief moves from her head into her heart, and suddenly the pain doesn’t feel as heavy, is the part I look forward to.
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Also, I wanted to thank a few people here who have kindly posted new reviews for my recent book release – Fifteen First Times:
Review by Judith Barrow:
Fifteen First Times is a collection of short but evocative memoirs by D G Kaye. I actually wasn’t sure what to expect when I first started to read. All I knew was that, having read various other books by this author, and having always admired her intimate writing style, I was in for a treat. I wasn’t disappointed…
In this short but candid book the author D.G Kaye shares fifteen of her first times with us; from her first diet to her first menstrual period, her first high heels, her first love, and her first cigarette to name but a few. We also find out what happened when she decided to dye her hair red for the first time…
‘Fifteen first times’ by author D.G. Kaye is a light, heartwarming read that will leave you reminiscing your own fifteen first times, sweet events you may have forgotten along the way as life took over and bitter ones that hurt you so much, that you buried deep inside of you- basically, all the experiences that made you into the person you currently are…
Kaye’s memoir Fifteen First Times reads like a conversation over a glass of wine with a bunch of besties. As I was reading, I could imagine the groans, laughter, and tender moments many women share in common as they navigate their teens and young adulthood—first kiss, first love, first car, a broken heart, the angst of menstruation, the first hair coloring disaster, and the first death that woke us up to the impermanence of life. Fifteen firsts…
A lovely essay style memoir, by D.G. Kaye. She shares fifteen of her poignant first experiences. Each one as touching as the next. Kaye makes herself vulnerable in sharing these very personal stories, including losing loved ones. My favorite were her stories of her trip to Europe as a teen. If you grew up in the 70’s you will doubly enjoy this book. Highly recommend!
In my holiday podcast at Grief the Real Talk, episode 5, I talk about some of things we can do to help us who have lost a loved one, honor our loved one in remembrance, and to make us feel a little closer to them and their spirit on those more difficult dates and anniversaries.
In case you missed episode 3 – Losing our Identities with Grief – In this episode, I am talking about how when we lose a spouse, we lose a lot ourselves and have to work hard to find a new path of living.
I was thrilled to be invited over to Christy Birmingham- Reyes’s blog recently. Christy runs an empowering blog for women – When Women Inspire. When she asked me to be her guest and talk about why I wanted to start a podcast on grief, I jumped at the chance and was honored to be invited.
D.G. Kaye is well-known as a nonfiction writer and memoir author, with several books to her name, including Meno-What? and Words We Carry. Now, she is taking on a new project. D.G. Kaye launches the podcast Grief – The Real Talk. I reached out to this talented woman to talk about the podcast, which has aired two episodes already. Below is our interview. Read on to discover why she created it, what she hopes listeners will gain, and more.
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Can you please tell us why you started a podcast on this particular topic?
Thanks for asking Christy. After losing the love of my life, my husband, last year, my grief has been overwhelming – many days, I didn’t even care to go on.
I not only lost my husband, my best friend and soulmate, but it was during COVID lockdowns, which added to my trauma with all the seclusion at a very bad time for a griever to be on her own. With no live grief groups open to join, other than online groups, which were not doing it for me, and after reading a plethora of books on grief and everything related to the afterlife, I couldn’t find a place where I felt I belonged.
I’d also read many clinical books as well as self-help and memoirs from people going through the same journey sharing their grief stories. It was the stories told from the heart which I found some solace in.
I realized that there wasn’t enough ‘real talk’ going on with people who live this journey, and I felt that being around same people left me feeling with a sort of kinship – people who could understand and relate to what we grievers actually go through – a look behind the lens so to speak.
So as a memoir writer myself, I felt there was a vacant space for this topic, and so I wanted to open up a new space where I could speak raw and real and share my observations and incidents that I’ve endured and endure in my own new life of living as one from two, and that perhaps there are others who may feel they can feel this kinship and have a place to share their own thoughts and feelings.
I am so sorry for your loss. What is your hope that listeners will gain from this podcast?
I hope my listeners will feel a sense of comfort as I did from reading and hearing stories from others by my sharing my own observations and experiences in my grief journey and what feels like everything becoming new to us when we lose a loved one that we were closely connected to. Everything changes.
Our identities change, our life plans, our habits, even the people that were once in our lives seem to change. I feel there’s a need for a place for us grievers to commune.
Who is Grief – The Real Talk the right podcast for?
My podcast is for people who travel the journey of grief, seeking some solace to be around like-minded people who know the journey, as well as for anyone who knows a griever and would like some insights as to what we go through on a daily basis when we lose someone close to us. I’m speaking as one of those grievers, not someone with a PHD giving clinical explanations about all the lonely things we can expect to go through, from the voice of one who is going through it and knows the pain.
It’s for anyone who has loved and lost someone and desires a place of listening to someone who knows the struggle. It’s a place where I talk about things that bring us down, things we find hard to accept, and those times when we feel we can’t go on, but also, I talk about why we must go on and share some of the things that I’m doing to try to help move forward – especially when we sometimes have no desire to. . . please hop over to Christy’s blog to say hi and continue reading.
DGKayewriter.com 