Sally Cronin has started her Christmas season at her Smorgasbord Blog Magazine where she chooses a holiday post from bloggers to share. She chose the post below that I shared last year. Some heart-warming videos to touch your hearts.
Greatest Holiday Commercial Ads to Touch Your Heart by D.G. Kaye
Since this series began in January 2018 there have been over 1200 Posts from Your Archives where bloggers have taken the opportunity to share posts to a new audience…
The topics have ranged from travel, childhood, recipes, history, family and the most recent series was #PotLuck where I shared a random selection of different topics.
This series is along the same lines and is a celebration of Christmas and New Year.
I do appreciate that this is not a religious festival for everyone but it is a time of year when families and friends come together and our thoughts turn to our hopes and wishes for the coming year. At the end of the post you can find out how to participate in this festive series.
Every year the retail industry makes an effort to steal not just our hearts but also to bring some entertainment to their sales messages. D.G. Kaye, Debby Gies has found two heartwarming ones to share with us.
Greatest Holiday Commercial Ads to Touch Your Heart
This Christmas will be difficult for so many this year, and mine is no exception. I’m not going to write any fancy or bougie words here about how cozy and mushy this time of year is for me and for so many others, between loss, hurt and this damned Corona virus, but I do want to share these beautiful commercial ads I came across. These ads reach far beyond whatever they are selling; they all encompass the human spirit of love, kindness and empathy. If you need a reason to smile (even though a tissue needed will be a guarantee), please enjoy. Hallmark has some strong competition!
Today I’m happy to be featuring Harmony Kent here with her newest edition to her beautiful, Soul Poetry Series, book 3 – Sorrowful Soul, now on preorder. I love Harmony’s writing and can’t wait for the paperback version to be published so I can have my own tangible copy.
Harmony Kent spent 13 years in a Zen Buddhist monastery, where she faced her demons and overcame devastating low self-esteem and found freedom. After a life-changing injury, Harmony returned to the world at the tender age of 40, and her life as a writer began.
Harmony is an award winning multi-genre author, and her publications include:
The Battle for Brisingamen (Fantasy Fiction) AIA approved The Glade (Mystery/Thriller) AIA Approved/BRAG Medallion Honouree/New Apple Literary Awards Official Selection Honours 2015 Polish Your Prose: Essential Editing Tips for Authors (Writing/Editing) New Apple Literary Awards Top Medallist Honours 2015 Finding Katie (Women’s Fiction) Slices of Soul (Soul Poetry Series: Book 1) Life and Soul (Soul Poetry Series: Book 2) Sorrowful Soul (Soul Poetry Series: Book 3) Interludes (Erotic Short Stories) Interludes 2 (Erotic Short Stories) Moments (Short Stories and Poetry) Jewel in the Mud (Zen Musings) Polish Your Prose (How to Self-Edit) Creative Solutions (Creative Writing Inspiration) Backstage (Erotic Romance and Thriller) FALLOUT (Post-Apocalyptic Dystopia) BRAG Medallion Honouree The Vanished Boy (Psychological Thriller)
As well as being an avid reader and writer, Harmony also offers reviews and supports her fellow authors. Harmony is always on the lookout for talent and excellence, and will freely promote any authors or books who she feels have these attributes.
If we’re lucky, we meet twilight at the front door and old age creeps in on the night breeze.
Even if we make it to our twilight years, the more we age, the more loss we must endure as part of the cycle of life. Many of these poems lament death, but they also relate to broken relationships, severed friendships, and the loss of youth. This book of grief poetry is as much about saying goodbye and working through loss as it is about death and love split asunder.
This heartfelt collection provides company and compassion through the devastating journey of loss and shows us we do not travel this lonely road alone. Within these pages we share shock, numbness and denial, catapult into anger, bargaining, depression, loneliness, and guilt, and—eventually—make the seismic shift into testing the possibility of a new normal and finding acceptance.
Check out Harmony’s beautiful trailer for Sorrowful Soul
Hi, Debby. Thanks so much for hosting me today. It’s always wonderful to visit with you.
Here’s a little bit I’d love to share about my latest book of poetry, Sorrowful Soul. Full of freestyle poems, which provide company and compassion through the devastating journey of grief and loss and onward, this heartfelt collection shows us we do not travel this lonely road alone.
Though I’ve organised this book of poetry into seven sections, which follow established stages of grief, I’d like to note bereavement is non-linear and messy. It’s common to move up and circle around, and progress to the so-called higher steps, only to come crashing down, especially on anniversaries or other meaningful dates. Not even meaningful, as it can be the most insignificant of everyday things that undoes us … a discarded shoe, an odd sock, or a simple visit to the shop.
D.G. – You said a mouthful here Harmony. I know of what you speak, only too well. 🧡
Below is an extract from a poem about the journey through grief and moving toward a tentative acceptance of a new reality …
From Part 6: Working Through (Extract From Night Train)
This train of travesty don’t stop Just keeps a rollin’ down these treacherous tracks The further it lurches into the dead, fallen leaves The more friends and acquaintances fall behind Unwilling or unable to journey with me and my baggage As I climb my mountain of woe and regret—too near the edge I grow tired and weary, my luggage heavy To continue on there’s only one thing I can do Pack my grief into a smaller suitcase Hold it tight to my heaving, ache-filled chest And take a leap of faith from this speeding train As it hurtles straight for the abyss
H.K. -The line ‘Pack my grief into a smaller suitcase’ was inspired by one of Debby’s podcasts on grief, which I love. These short pieces on grieving are a must-listen and emphasise the non- linear nature of grief. Debby has a wonderful voice, and I could listen to her for hours.
D.G. – Harmony, I’m tearing up here from your heartfelt poem and your most kind words about me, and honored you’ve been inspired by my podcasts enough to listen and share one of my lines in your poem. I cannot wait for your book to become available in paperback! 💜
H.K. – Sadly, at times it seems as though grief piles atop grief, and the ‘train of travesty don’t stop.’ Life doesn’t always wait for us to recover from one loss before it hits us with another. Have you had to cope with multiple losses at once? If so, what helped you through your difficult times? Chat with me in the comments. I hope you enjoyed this poetic excerpt and would love to know what you think. Thanks for reading.
Some days the darkness is just too overwhelming, like no time has passed. Like a knife weilding deep into my soul, it doesn’t take much to send me right back there, to the worst day of my life. Grief is a ride I can’t seem to step off of, even the strongest of swimmers may drown. It ebbs and flows daily. Some days the tide is low, but many others, like today, a tsunami takes me over. It is only my writing to or about him that keeps myself from spontaneously combusting from excruciating grief.
Even though it’s been seventeen long months
Since you were taken,
Seventeens of thousands of tears I’ve shed
And continue to do so without much provocation.
I merely envision your beautiful face
And the heavens open and disperse through my eyes.
Even though the burning and dire need to hug you is relentless
With insatiable desire to be held by you,
If I could just pull you into me,
Just one more time,
Maybe it would suffice.
I doubt it though,
Because I know I’d never let you go.
Even though you’ve been gone for what feels an eternity,
The searing, pulsating pain still jackhammers my heart
With the same depths it did the moment I let go of your hand on your last breath.
It doesn’t ease.
Even though I want to smile when thinking of you
The embedded visions that remain on autoplay
Keep overpowering our priceless memories.
The vision of leaning over and resting my head on your heart as
I couldn’t believe you existed then you didn’t.
Even though I function on autopilot to get things done
The moments I take a pause to focus on you,
I fall apart all over again.
Seems I must cheat myself out of thinking about you every moment,
By suppressing with mundane life.
Even though I’m struggling to choose life,
It somehow doesn’t feel like much of one –
More like just existing.
I don’t speak of this to anyone –
Not that there are too many anyones left,
In my immediate life.
Even though you said it yourself and warned me,
The rude awakening of finding so few by my side
At the most harrowing time of my life,
It still shocks me, just adding to my numbness.
My circle of friends often kept me
From going to the darkside,
Or off the deep end,
But like sharks, darkness circles within.
Even though I chose to live,
I’m only half of who I was.
The biggest love of my life is gone,
And with you went my heart taking with it all the love.
The thrills are gone as nothing excites.
Your empty half of the bed remains,
Now as a monument to our love and your existence.
The visions of watching you fade away there – never go away.
Even though our bed is somehow a lifeline to me,
A sanctuary where we shared almost 26 years together,
Loving, listening, laughing, cuddling,
Waking one another gently from frightening nightmares,
The emptiness envelops my heart and soul, every time I climb in.
Even though you’re not here now to shake me gently and whisper,
“Cubby, Cubby wake up,” to remove me from my dark dreams,
Today on my Sunday Book Review I’m reviewing a beautiful, short story, A Ride Down the Milky Way by Sherri-Lee Vitalla. In this book, the characters are the moon and the sun. Sherri-Lee also has a heartwarming Facebook page called – The Rise of my Fall, where she posts moving messages and many excerpts from her two books about observations from the moon and the sun as they observe ‘the girl’ and ‘him’ as they touch on some of the painful things we endure in life, and encourage ‘the girl’ and ‘him’ with positive affirmations as ‘the girl’ struggles and triumphs over some of life’s challenging moments.
In Sherri-Lee Viitala’s second book, get ready to follow along with Moon and Star as they watch over the girl on her journey through life and love, heartache and happiness.
My 5 Star Review:
This is a sweet and endearing short book about the moon and star observing and conversing with inspiring messages in short dialogues as they observe ‘the girl’ below on earth as the girl navigates through moments of hope, despair, memories and more about ‘him’.
These one page stories filled with emotion and beautiful illustrations will touch your heart and will also serve well as a bedside guide you can pick up and open a page for a daily inspiration through a beautiful message. Yes, the stories are about the girl being watched from above. But I guarantee, there’s something in here that will touch everyone.
Here’s one that resonates with me, as I grieve the loss of my beautiful husband:
“Moon?” Star called.
“Mmmmm hmmmm, said moon.
“I think she knows,” Star said.
“What’s that?” Said moon.
“That he’s looking for her. I think she knows,” Star said.
“How do you know?” Asked moon.
“She’s smiling,” said Star.
Moon and Star watched from the heavens above, shining just a little brighter.
Blurb:In Sherri-Lee Viitala’s second book, get ready to follow along with Moon and Star as they watch over the girl on her journey through life and love, heartache and happiness.
My 5 Star Review:This is a sweet and endearing short book about the moon and star observing and conversing with inspiring messages in short dialogues as they observe ‘the girl’ below on earth as the girl navigates through moments of hope, despair, memories and more about ‘him’.
Did you know that writing can be so very therapeutic? It’s not a myth. Take it from me who began writing at seven years old. Growing up in a dysfunctional family life with a heart filled with compassion and worry, I took to writing poems, notes, and journaling. I didn’t always show them to anyone, but I took my pain out of my head and put it on paper. It was a release.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother who mashed my father over and over until he finally died of a broken heart (underlying health issues exacerbated by his grief), my young empathic heart could feel his pain. He came to me since I was seven and poured his heart out to this broken little girl who was powerless to help him, but I was all he had to pour his heart out too. That was a huge responsibility for a little girl – a daughter to witness her father’s ongoing grief and not be able to do anything about it except summon up the bravery to approach my mother to beg her to take my father back, yet again. I received no compassion from my mother in doing so, only a slap across my face as she reminded me to mind my own business. It was my business! But my voice and hands were tied. This is about the time I learned to write out my feelings. I needed to be heard and release, if only to the universe.
Know that whatever you write is to release and doesn’t always have to be given to the person our words are directed at. It’s to get those jumbled thoughts and worries out of our heads and on to paper. Perhaps there will come a day you may want to give it to the person the words are directed to, maybe you might just burn it and vanish the thoughts away into the universe. Or just maybe, like me, you’ll journal enough through your life and end up writing books about all the things you once could never say out loud. Either way, it’s cathartic. My small beginnings of writing on scraps of paper, eventually, made me a memoir writer. Whodathunk?
Speaking about grief, my latest podcast is live now. In this third episode, I’m talking about how when we lose a spouse, our identities change – along with everything else. I hope you will visit me on Youtube.
I was introduced to the poetry of John Roedel by my lovely friend, Jane Sturgeon. Roedel writes heartfelt poetry from his soul. As a writer myself who writes raw from my soul, and as a griever, John’s poetry hits the mark with everything he writes. Upon Departure is his newest release I was eagerly awaiting to read. Roedel’s storytelling through prose and poetry is sure to touch anyone who has ever loved and lost.
From bestselling poet, storyteller and speaker John Roedel, comes a collection of poetry that explores the concept that our grief as a natural wonder that terraforms the landscape of our world in increments. It can take a lifetime to find peace when our loved one becomes an empty chair at our kitchen table.
let’s lace our hands as if eternity is opening up the veil into the great mystery right in front of us
let’s feel our fingers against each other as if this is the last time we will touch before we become celestial kites
let’s part our lips and say what we should have said to each other years ago:
“I love you. I love you so. I forgive you.
I’m sorry. I’m blessed to know you. I’m so grateful to you.”
My 5 Star Review:
Upon Departure is one of the best books I’ve read on heartfelt poetry, and on loving, life, and losing. After reading, Untied – the poetry of how knots become strings, also by Roedel, and as a writer myself, and one who is also living through grief, I will say that Roedel’s poetry speaks to me louder than some of the other many books I’ve read on grief. And this is simply because the rawness and realness of his pain jumps off the pages, especially to those of us who have also walked the walk – and are still walking through the haze of grief.
In this new release of prose and poetry, the book begins with a short introduction to Roedel’s journey of losing his father, the whirlwind of emotions, the unacceptance and disbelief, till the final acceptance, the ‘what ifs’ of doing things differently he experienced, and how the lingering effects continue through his own journey through life. In this beautiful book, you won’t find a table of contents, nor will you find titles of each poem, rather a story in prose spoken through poetry of words that paint pictures of loss, loving, hope, and eternal love, in metaphors. For anyone who loves emotional poetry, looking for comfort in poetry, or seeks a path in understanding grief, this is a book for you.
poem #1 begins:
“I don’t care what form
you return to me
I just want you back”
The poem continues on with stanzas about how Roedel doesn’t care in which form ‘you’ appear to me in various appearances:
“If you come back to me
as our favorite song on the radio
I’ll pull the car over immediately
and let the music retell our love story
on 80s power ballad at a time…”
“If you come back to me
as a row of goosebumps on my bare arm
I will trace my fingers across my skin
Carefully so I can read the love letter
you wrote to me in spirit braille…”
“If you come back to me
As a passage in a book
I will grab the fattest eraser I can find
And get rid of all the periods so you
Can become a run-on sentence…”
One of my favorites, Poem #10, grief summed up in a post card:
“Your grief is the purest love letter that you can ever send to the one you have lost to death…every tear that rolls down the grooves on your face is the most tender postcard you will ever write…”
“…everybody that you have lost along the way
returns to you on your last day
-it turns out that
love is a boomerang.”
Roedel has another wonderful book titled, Hey God, and wrote another excerpt for this book:
#13 – Me: Hey God…
“Grief keeps sneaking up on me.
God: To grieve means that you have loved. Grieving is one of the truest human experiences that you will ever participate in. It often arrives without warning – like a late-day summer storm – obscuring the sun and drenching you in downpour. It’s a gift, isn’t it?”
“…Bereavement is the debt you must pay for having loved. There is no getting over the loss of a beloved who is now resting in the arms of endless love. Grief has no expiration date. Despite the pass of time, the phantom pain of mourning is always one memory away from returning.”
From poem #15
“Every tear of
Loss that we shed
Carries with it
The DNA-of the relationship
Of the love
Of the story
That two people
Poem #16 might be my favorite:
Tells about the writer stating he’s just a tourist in the world, and writes of all earthly experiences and possessions he’ll leave behind:
“…except for my
thoughts of you
-they are coming with me…”
Poem #22 – Where the author uses metaphors likening grief to a field of “rosebushes and bees”
“…Grief is a stretching field full
of thick beautiful rose bushes
and bees that you must travel
through to get to the other side…”
“…On the other side of the field of
grief is another – even bigger field
of grief that has even more beautiful
rose bushes and even angrier bees
and even more pointy thorns that you
must get through…”
“Being mortal means that we are all caught in a loop of meeting each other at Baggage Claim…”
Roedel goes on to say “To grieve the death of a beloved isn’t something that we check off in a box. Once we experience grief it changes us forever. Grief transforms us. Grief doesn’t just stay for a weekend, Grief moves into the loft of our hearts…”
“Grief isn’t an obstacle we overcome – it’s a masterclass in what it means to be human.”
“It can take a lifetime to find peace when our loved one becomes an empty chair at our kitchen table.”
“Life is life
there can be no after
for something that never ends…”
“…because love is the act of holding hands with
another person and counting to infinity by twos…”
“There is this unspoken call for us to have our wounds become scars long before they are ready to.”
“To grieve means that we have taken the risk to love without fear.”
“These tears are proof.
That I loved.”
“It’s okay, my love. Eternity is holding me. Death isn’t an end. Death is a threshold. I’m still here. I never left. Love doesn’t die. I remain. There is no afterlife. There is only life. I’m here wih you. Love doesn’t die.”
“…After somebody that you love dies, it feels as if you have lost a limb. Even years later there can be phantom pains that can send you to your knees…”
I’ve been seeing the semicolon symbol a lot on social media, and I’m identifying with it and sharing its other story here today. It’s also a symbol of courage that simply uses the punctuation mark to tell the world, our story isn’t over. It could have ended with a period, but the semicolon allows the story to continue.
Grammarly shared a post about this stating:
“A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you, and the sentence is your life.”
It was posted in 2015 by Grammarly, but has subsequently been recirculating and being used for suicide prevention advocating – the new significance of survival. – Project Semicolon
This punctuation mark has become a symbol for hope for anyone suffering depression, addiction, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and more of the same. You may have come across some of these posts on social media. Marketing has joined in with creating everything from jewelry, Tshirts, and more with the semicolon design. Many sufferers of depression have also tattooed this symbol somewhere on their person. The symbol was created to change the stigma and to help inspire others who walk the fine line of suicidal thoughts, and for showing solidarity against suicide, depression, addictions and other mental health struggles, inspiring strength for the suffering.
Grammarly shares a post about this symbol and talks about Amy Bleuel who began the nonprofit ‘project suicide’ back in 2013. She created the symbol to be used for more than just a punctuation mark after her own father committed suicide. Sadly, she took her own life in 2017.
Our world is getting infinitely harder for many of us to cope in. The statistics on suicide are growing enormously, and these don’t even apply to the same category with those who suffer actual mental illness. One does not have to suffer mental illness to take themselves to the dark side. I can attest to how devastating events in life can push our minds to some places we’d never thought we’d ever go to when provoked by emotional distress, loneliness or grieving.
The significance related to the punctuation mark is, a story of horrific pain is a mere pause in life, but life can continue. Problems, events, situations are temporary, but suicide is permanent. A reminder that life will go on and not be ended, symbolizing a continuation of life even when life throws us unbearable times.
Please, if you are someone contemplating self harm, or know someone who has reached this dark place, share this post and call your country’s national suicide prevention hotline:
There is always hope. Most of the suicides can be prevented if the distressed person could just have someone to talk to. If you know someone who has experienced, or living a tragedy, life altering situation, or severely depressed, and they aren’t acting like their usual selves, closing themselves off to friends and loved ones, or just disappears from their social circles, please check up on them.
These numbers can be called when desperation reigns, be it thoughts about suicide, surviving a suicide attempt, or deep distorting thoughts for the grieving.
Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. Today I’m reviewing a poignant book, written from her own experience with grief and loss, as well as shared interviews with some of her bereavement clients, by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore.
As many of you know, I’ve read a number of books on grief – from the clinical to the afterlife, and one thing I can say about this book is that it stands out from others because it talks about all aspects and changes of life we go through when grief strikes – not just the expected things. Dr. Cacciatore has ‘worn the shoes’. One other thing I’d like to note about this book is that I would highly recommend everyone to read this book. Why? Because everyone in the world will have to experience it in their lifetimes, and for those who haven’t yet, this book gives amazing insights. It’s also a good book for those who know or love a griever and don’t know how to act around them or what to say. It distinctly states what us grievers need in our new life path from those in our lives.
If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human.
Dr. Cacciatore is featured in the 2021 documentary series The Me You Can’t See, from Oprah, Prince Harry, and Apple TV.
Bearing the Unbearable is a Foreword INDIES Award-Winner — Gold Medal for Self-Help. __ When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should.
Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.
Not just for the bereaved, Bearing the Unbearable will be required reading for grief counselors, therapists and social workers, clergy of all varieties, educators, academics, and medical professionals. Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters, this book is also perfect for being read aloud in support groups.
My 5 Star Review:
Before I go into my review of this book, I will simply state, as a griever myself, that this book is one of the best books I’ve read on grief because it isn’t a clinical diagnosis book, it isn’t a guide on how to get through grief, but a tender telling of all the emotions a griever will experience throughout the rest of their lives, the triggers, and most of all, also beneficial to anyone who has ever known a griever and is lost for words or knowing how to act around someone who is grieving.
The book begins with a prologue of the author giving us a snapshot of her own grief story. She shares some of the questions all grievers ask and wonders how the world can continue on when her world was left empty – a common thread between all grievers. The author tells us she hopes for other grievers to feel they are in a safe place for us to be with our broken hearts. She warns that this book isn’t instruction on how to get over grief, but how to learn to live with the undeniable ebbs and flows and triggers of grief that will remain a part of our lives, for the rest of our lives. She talks about grievers needing others to reach out to us, and just how to do it by telling of her own experiences, and that of others she has consoled.
Dr. Cacciatore speaks of how death will affect every single person one day in their own individual way. The more we love, the more we will grieve. She also delves into how grief is manifested and what the shock of a traumatic death can leave on us – sometimes and often, leading to depression and/or PTSD, the repercussions of the shocking experience of losing a loved one, and how that often leads to running to substances to numb our pain. The good doctor touches on all the various types of trauma and grief from losing a loved one, a child, a parent, a spouse, etc., covering the gamut of what each of these relationships lost leave the living loved one to endure and the various habits and personality characteristics that are altered in the wake of, including the physical ailments many of us experience in light of grief, of which, many can become life threatening – especially when self-care desire disappears.
Most importantly to me, the author speaks of those in our circles who tend to abandon us in our hours of need because they don’t know what we need, and fears of talking about our lost loved ones causing more pain, explaining quite the opposite, how us grievers aren’t looking for solutions, only an ear to hear us speak of our great loss with a compassionate heart. “…But please just sit beside me. Say nothing. Do not offer a cure, or a pill, or a word, or a potion. Witness my suffering and don’t turn away from me. Please be gentle with me. Please self, be gentle with me too. I will not ever ‘get over it’ so please don’t urge me down that path.”
“Traumatic death provokes traumatic grief.” Truest words. The author gets into the body’s reactions to grief, comparing a diagnosis or a death edict having that ‘fight or flight’ feeling within us setting off in perceived physchological threat within. Only, the fight or flight feeling never really leaves. She goes into the despair the griever learns to live within. “This is grief’s most piercing message: there is no way around-the only way is through”. As she states, those who don’t deal with their grief and won’t allow themselves to feel, are only suppressing their grief, tells us it will eventually manifest in unexpected ways. The doctor warns that suppressing grief is responsible for so many addictions, abuse and social disconnection.
We learn about how some people’s cry for help – or, the lack of those cries, can often lead to that griever taking their own life. She warns that grief always has a place at the table. Talking about grief is necessary and should never be stifled. The distractions we use for ourselves as grievers is also discussed as our everlasting unquenchable yearning for our lost loved ones never goes away.
Another poignant discussion in this book delves into the loss of a child and how that sometimes leads parents to unintentionally neglect their living children while focusing on the loss of another. We also learn how crying is a natural valve to relieve stress and explains the biochemical essense of grief tears and their differentiation to other tears.
In this book there is a dedicated chapter to grievers on how to tell our friends and family what we need from them in our hours of grief. Letting them know our triggers, asking for our acceptance when we aren’t up to a family gathering, a cry for help, and more. She offers up solutions like, writing a note to family letting them know our needs and reassuring them to not hold back conversations of our lost loved one because that is one of the most needed conversation many grievers crave, is talking about our lost loved one.
Time is linear with grief, sometimes minutes feel like years, years feel like minutes. The author tells us how easily a grief moment will steal our breath. “It is both feared enemy and beloved companion who never leaves.” Reminding, we won’t stop grieving until we stop loving. “Those we love deeply who have died are part of our identity; they are a part of our biography. We feel that love in the marrow of our bones.”
The author offers writing to a lost loved one as a great therapy. Read it and weep as she explains these tears of release are good for the soul. She also talks about making a memory box we can revisit to soothe our souls in memory.
All different types of grief are covered in this book, from the ones we carry for our lost one to the kind where we blame ourselves for. You will find stories here that demonstrate things that can happen for those who withhold their grief.
I loved her analogy of grief ‘ it’s a big bowl of grief broth’, describing how just one more ingredient can overpower us with overwhelming grief.
“No intervention and no interventionist can ‘cure’ our grief. And we are not broken-we are brokenhearted.”
“Grief is not a medical disorder to be cured.
Grief is not spiritual crisis to be resolved.
Grief is not a social woe to be addressed.
Grief is, simply, a matter of the heart-to be felt.”
“When we cannot hold in our arms our loved ones who’ve died, we hold them in our hearts. This is being with grief.”
“When you’re feeling tired of our sadness, just remember that we are supremely more tired of their dead-ness.”
“Losing our beloved brings a pain unlike any other-and this pain is- legitimately ours. Being with grief is terrifyingly painful, yet when we live our grief honestly, it has the mysterious power to deepen the meaning of our lives. This is the gift-curse of grief.”
Whoever survives the test must tell his story. ~ Elie Wiesel